Shinji Ikari/10 o'Clock Assassin/Purge Raizah Loyal Soldier on Rolento's Evil Mission, Part of the Yagami Team, Admirerer of Izumi Maki, 2D Fighting Genre Video Game Addict Anti-Stotokan Scrub Dispencer, Loyal But Picky Anime Fan, And All Around By The Book Guy. WARNING: This fanfic contains sex! Reader's discretion is strongly advised. * * * * * * * * * * * * #Oh My Goddess!# "The New Goddess" * * * * * * * * * * * * "Bell-chan..." "Kei-san..." Urd is in her bedroom trying to watch the afternoon soap opera when the sudden sound of the umpthousandth K-Bell sex scene ensues. Urd: [Damn! Can't I watch a little TV in peace?] Keiichi moans loudly as his equally passionate lover takes the tip of his member into her mouth. She massages it with her tongue, coaxing him to fill her mouth with the essence of his manhood. He doesn't disappoint as his cock shoots off into Belldandy's mouth. This pleases the beautiful goddess as she continues to play with his balls and suck the remnants of his stickiness from his cock. Bell: Kei-san... Kei: Yes, my love...? Bell: It's your turn now. Kei: Okay. Here I go... Feeling a little relaxed now, Keiichi gets up from the mattress and lays Belldandy where he was. He then licks on one of her regular sized breasts whilst playing with the other. He then kisses her sweatly in the mouth as his hand moves downward to her crotch and massages her... Urd: KEIICHI!! Kei: WAAAHH!! Urd! Bell: What is it, Urd-san? What's wrong? Urd: Gee. Let's see... Let's just say that... If I look up "sex" in the dictionary, I'd probably find the picture of you two having it. Kei: Don't be so mad, Urd! I'll give you some, too! Bell: That's right. You can join us and we can all have sex. Urd: No-no-no-no-no. I'm not mad about that. I'm just mad because... You two have been having sex all this time... Even though... It's not physically possible. Keiichi had known this too well. Once an underdog at the NIT Tech Motorcycle Club, a seemingly innocent call to a 24H take-out restaurant turned out to be a night spent with a luxurious goddess. Too bad he wasn't prepared for it. For when he was asked what to wish for, Belldandy could see in his eyes what it was that he wanted. Soon, instinct gave way to logic. But in a horrible twist of fate, reality gave way to instinct. There are things that can be said about Keiichi, though. On top of being smart, resourceful, and cute; he's also a gentleman. He will not do harm to any woman who's in his heart; no matter what abhorrence she keeps in her closet. For Belldandy, it's that dirty trick noted by Mr. Darwin as "Hermaphroditism." Kei: I'm sorry. My reaction to stuff like this is different from yours. Urd: Keiichi... Please don't tell me that you're getting drilled in the back by her. Please! Kei: Okay... I won't. Urd: ???!!! Bell: Kei-san and I are in love with each other. Urd: All that is fine and well, my dear sisbro. But... Kei/Bell: But... Urd: All that great cooking you guys do then decides to exit the same way it came in! Later that day, Keiichi's in his room looking through the photo album. Pictures of him doing Bell, Bell doing him, him and Bell doing either Urd or Megumi... His hard-on doesn't stay down for long. Kei: Ahhh. I don't see why Urd is so angry. Bell-chan is so... big... compared to me... And when she enters me, I can't help but to feel the way a woman does... The sheer sensation of being filled. Oh well, I guess I better call Megumi and ask her what's up. (Picks up the phone and dials her number....) ???: HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!! Earth Assistance Hotline, at your service-Ga! Kei: Huh? ???: I can hear it! A desperate heart calling out to have his deepest wishes fulfulled-Ga! Worry not, little man! For I shall take care of you on-site-Ga! (KLICK!!) As time freezes for a confused Keiichi, his prized camera hovers to the floor, then flips up and shoots a blinding white light from it's lenses. From the spotlight of said lenses, someone jumps through the ceiling and floats to the floor striking a pose along the way. Peo: Salutations-Ga! I'm so pleased to meet you! The creme de la creme of goddesness, EAH Class 1.2U (Unlimited) Goddess... PEORTH! Has entered the stage-Ga! Keiichi, stunned with the fact that he's called up another goddess, turns his head to look at this new visitor; only to find that she's... Not wearing much... Never mind, it's doing wonders for his sex drive. Peo: So? Which pose do you like better-Ka? Kei: (Hangs up the phone.) Uh... You're not here to grant me a wish, are you? Peo: Well, what else can we be here for? I am the messanger that has decended from Heaven to grant your heart's desire-Ga! Kei: (A drop of sweat hiding his face, and a throbbing hard-on tightening his pants.) Gee, I don't know. Does it include gratifying my instinct as well? Peo: Well, that depends-Ga. See, I may have a naturally perfect body. But hiding under it is something so hidious, so horrendous, that those who have seen it were unable speak due to mental scarring-Ga. Kei: You have a cock? Peo: ????!!!! NO! I. Am. A. Smoker-Ga. Kei: Huh?! But you're a goddess, right? Peo: Of course I am-Ga! However! Even the most beautiful and most lovely of all goddesses, like myself, have their warts-Ga. Kei: (Thinks for a minute. Then...) Aw, screw it. I wish to have the greatest sex with you! After a mind-altering flash of ILM special effects... Keiichi lovingly kisses Peorth on the lips as he sooths his hand along her breasts and pussy lips. (What he lacks in cocksize he makes up incredibly in foreplay.) He lays her on his mattress, stripping the rest of her clothes off as well as his own, and proceeds to do her from behind. He enters himself into her sopping gates; blessed again with the feeling of entering his member into someone of the opposite sex. Spending so much time with Belldandy he'd almost forgot which hole to enter. Peo: [I must say, this kid knows how to treat a lady-Ga. I must tell all my comrades about him.] Our hero continues to slam her from behind; grabbing her nice cushy buttocks as he impales her with his member. Soft moans escape this lovely goddess' lips as she feels his cock thrusting in and out of her. Kei: Peorth...! I'm gonna cum! Peo: Yes! Please do-Ga! With that, Keiichi goes off and shoots his jizz into this beautiful goddess' love canal. Then he exits her and shoots the rest of it all over her entrance. After that he collapses on top of her in a bliss of spent energy. Peo: What is your name, little man-Ka? Kei: The name... Is Keiichi. Keiichi Morisato... And my question... What's with the "Ga" and "Ka" at the end of your sentences? Peo: Oh-oh-oh-oh. "Ga" as in God, "Ka" as in Kami. They're at the end of most of my sentences because at the end we will soon become closer to God. Keiichi-Ka? Keiichi? Evidently, the sex was so great to him that he went to sleep on it. Peo: Oh great, just great! Evidently I'm so magnificent and marvelous that I drive men to sleep-Ga! Urd: (Crossed-eyed.) And what do we have here? Bell: Peorth-san! Long time no see! Peo: [No! That can't be! My highly superb hearing is not hearing this-Ga!] (Turns her head to find...) Urd: Looks like Keiichi called in another one, sisbro. Bell: Would you like some tea? Cookies? California roll sushi with extra cinnamon? Peo: (Looking angrily) You-Ga! The goddesses from my rival agencies! What business have you two with this... this... oversexed little man-Ka?! Bell: Well... You see... I've... Contracted... With Keiichi. Peo: Huh?! Oh no! He didn't make... THAT wish! Did he-Ka?! Urd: Actually it's not that big a deal. Just fuck him, and he'll walk through Earth's greatest natural disasters just to do the smallest things for you. Peo: Correct me if I'm wrong-Ga. But last I checked, Belldandy has a penis. And you have gonorrhea-Ga. Urd: Let's just say that he'll never look at a beautiful woman the same way again. Besides, I'm fixed so I won't burn anymore. Belldandy on the other hand... Well... Peo: Oh my god, no. Urd: That was my first reaction. Apparently Mr. Morisato doesn't have the heart to turn a woman down. Peo: I see. Nothing soothes the savage beast like a cute face-Ga. But still... Bell has an 8-foot cock-Ga! How much more would you love your lady if she doesn't have one of those-Ka? Urd: (Pulls Belldandy's member from out of hiding.) Gee, I don't know. More than you think? Bell: No... Stop... Peo: (Starts freaking out.) No way-Ga! I'm not having sex with my rivals! After a while Keiichi wakes up from his sweet slumber to be treated to yet another sex scene; that which is composed of Peorth, under slight protest, being done in the back by Belldandy and licked along the nipples of her breasts by Urd. In little time Keiichi has picked up his natural urges once more. Kei: L- Let's eat... * * * * * * * * * * * * Meanwhile, at the Yggdrasil Control Center... Skuld: Dang-it, Bell! It's not fair! You and your boyfriend are having all this sex, and I'm still stuck up here konking those little bugs! This sucks! * * * * * * * * * * * * Apologies to Kosuke Fujishima and Kodansha Ltd. It had to be done.