No Need For Shinji 
 Part Three
 The MST/C&C!

 Author: Shinji (tycplans@pacbell.net)
 MST Writer: Katsuragi Misato (yuna@csnsys.com)


The theater darkens and two couples walk in, finding their seats. The audience is as 
follows: Katsuragi Misato (me, Misa-chan for reference), Kaji Ryouji (as played by 
Phillip Masters, Misa-chan's resident manservant/fic-writer), Aida Kensuke and Soryuu 
Asuka Langley (the real couple from Evangelion.)


>This fanfic is rated X.  It contains harsh language and gratuitous sex.  All passengers 
>younger than 18 must disembark!  HEY!!  THIS MEANS YOU, SON!! 


Kensuke: <turns around and heads for the door>

Asuka: <pulls Kensuke back by his collar> Not *even*... You're here to help me spy on 
Kaji-san and Misato-san.... You're staying right here with me...

Kensuke: <glups> Hai..


>The characters of the great Neon Genesis Evangelion and other stuff thereforth are 
>property of Gainex, Project EVA, TX, NAS, ADV, Viz, and those who buy the 
>paraphenalia.


Kensuke: <looks up at screen> Dammit! You mean to say that is is ecchi, not a war fic?

Misa-chan: <groans> AD Vision and Viz have *nothing* to do with it... they just have the 
tasks of badly translating/dubbing the original story. 

Kaji: But at least Viz isn't doing the anime...  

Asuka: <shudders> Now *that* would be horrid...


>This fanfic has been brought to you by "EVA Brand" Condoms.  For protection 
>stronger than an AT Field.


Kaji and Misa-chan: <chuckles> 




>                       No Need For Shinji 
>               Episode 3:   I'll Be Your Honeybee 





Kensuke: <pushes up glasses> Must be some song reference...

Asuka: Anta baka??! Of course it is....

Kensuke: <mutters> Like you would know...


>     The next day, the firey red-head Asuka marches to the apartment home of the 
>beer-crazed Misato, the unfortunate draftee Shinji, and the always lovable 
>beer-drinking warm springs penguin Pen-Pen.  Asuka angrily fiddles with the keys trying 
>to find the right one, unlocks the door, and opens to find...  Misato on the couch, 
>wearing only her underwear, drinking beer, and watching football.  Asuka wastes no 
>time in expressing her anger.


Asuka: <cracks knuckles> Yeah.... go get that baka ecchi.

Kensuke: <examines Asuka's head> You're more of an auburn haired one, Langley...

Misa-chan: <thoughtfully> I don't think that they use keys... Probably either their 
pass-cards, or an alpha-numeric keypad... <looks up> And... I don't like football...

Kaji: <smiles> But you did last...

Misa-chan: <shoves her tub of popcorn in Kaji's mouth> 


>     "Where is Shinji?!" she interrogates. 
>
>     Misato, swallowing her beer down, calmly turns around to see the young 
>pilot.  "Why are you so mad?" 
>
>     "Because I know what you two have done last night!  You two were orally 
>screwing each other!" 
>
>     "So?  So what?  I screw all my friends.  I'd screw Gendou wether he ordered 
>me to or not.  He certainly needs it."  Misato's tone changes.  "By the way, how did 
>you know we were screwing?" 


Misa-chan: <wide-eyed> Gah! He *really* doesn't like Misato... 

Kaji: <pulls cardboard tub from mouth, spits out a popcorn kernel> I didn't know about 
you and Gendou... <says sweetly> Mi-chan... are we keeping secrets from each other?

Misa-chan: Oh shut up! I'm not doing Commander Ikari!

Kaji: <smirks> Oh really.... then, how come you've been promoted to Major?

Misa-chan: <blushes> Shut up...


>     "Well...  Because...  I can smell it!  My nose is very good at picking up special 
>oders.  But that isn't the point!  The point is that you shouldn't be messing around 
>with perverts like him!" 
>
>     "...Because you want him for yourself.  Right?" 
>
>     Asuka goes into a full shock.  Her face gleeming white as her mouth, eyes and 
>nose fall off and float to the ground. 
>
>     Misato continues on.  "Besides, he came to me for sex.  He asked and I gave. 
>He was gentle and showed no disrespect, despite the fact that he was a beginner. 
>Now, if you wanted sex from him, all you have to do is ask.  (And also have a set of 
>condoms on hand.)" 


Asuka: <starts to get angry and red-faced>  What did that baka ecchi do?

Kensuke: <squints at screen> "gleaming"... Sheesh, even *Touji* could spell that... ^_^

Asuka: <dryly> I doubt that...


>     "Where is he now?" says Asuka sluggishly whilst picking up her faceparts and 
>trying to put them in the right place. 
>
>     Misato walks up to the refrigerator and reaches for a cold one.  "He said he'll 
>be at Maya's place.  He's returning some borrowed CD's for me." 
>
>     Asuka haggardly stands up.  "You know what this means?  He'll screw her 
>with his thing as well.  You women will be nothing but a harem to him." 

Asuka: <frowns> The wording is an improvement over the last two... but, still... needs to 
work on it a little more...

>     "I think he's got a crush on Maya most of all.  In my opinion, these two 
>would be great together."  Misato pops the top and takes a gulp as Asuka just stands 
>there, stunned. 


Misa-chan: <smiles> The author *would* think that... 


>     "God, help up.  Hope for the world lies in a small band of mecha pilots, and 
>one of them's got to gratify his dick." she says. 


Kensuke: Would that be "God, help up" or "God, help us?"


>     Meanwhile, Maya's taking a long, relaxing shower when someone knocks on 
>the door.  She presses the button on the sink and answers it vocally. 
>
>     "I'm in the shower right now.  Who's this?" 


Misa-chan: <frowns> No-ones stupid enough to tell some stranger that they're in the 
shower before asking who it is....

Kaji: <leans over to Misa-chan> Hey... Mi-chan. Wanna take a shower? 

Misa-chan: <smacks Kaji>

Asuka: <sweetly> Kaji-saaaan.... I would love to take a shower with yoooouuuu....

Kensuke: <mutters> I would like to take one with Katsuragi-iichi as well... how come 
Misa-chan doesn't write me into her lemons?!

Misa-chan: <cutely> Ne, ne.. Aida-kun... your day will come....

Kensuke: <brightens up> Really?

Misa-chan: Yeah, if someone else writes one about you.. <smiles>

Kensuke: <facefaults>


>     "It's me, Shinji.  I got some CD's Misato wants me to return." 
>
>     "Wait here, Ikari.  I'll be a while." 
>
>     Ten minutes have passed before Maya answers the door.  When she opens it 
>Shinji's got his back to the wall listening to his walkman.  Maya nudges him on his 
>shoulder to grab his attention. 
>
>     "Huh...  Huh?  What?  Oh.  Hi, Maya." 
>
>     "Hi, Ikari.  Where are the CD's?" 
>
>     "In my backpack." 
>
>     "Why don't you come in.  I got some hot tea brewing." 


Misa-chan: "I have some hot tea..." 

Kaji: <cops a feel> Really? I can't find any on you....

Misa-chan: <takes a mallet from Kensuke, gladly> Baka! <whaps Kaji with it>


>     The young pilot agrees, and he walks through the door.  He catches a sight of 
>Maya, wearing nothing but a towel around her, and quickly turns his head from the 
>sight.  She goes into the kitchen and pours two cups of hot tea while Shinji, taking a 
>seat on the couch, takes the CD's from his backpack, one by one, and checks to 
>make sure each one isn't damaged.  Maya sits beside him and places the two cups of 
>tea on the small table. 


Misa-chan: Good... that's good about describing his concern about the CDs... Shinji-kun 
would do that... But CDs aren't really used in Tokyo-3.... Remember Shinji-kun's 
MultiDAT player? That's the standard of music technology...


>     "So, Ikari.  I hope that's all the CD's the Major has borrowed from me." 
>
>     "Gee.  Wu-Tang Clan...  Killarmy...  Gravediggaz...  I didn't even know you'd 
>go for these old-school hits, Maya." 
>
>     "My personal favorite is that track titled  For Heaven's Sake.'  It had that 
>loop that was slow and kept being cut off..." 


Asuka: <nearly gags> Ugh... rap... I wouldn't have guessed Maya to be into rap...

Kensuke: <shrugs> Oh well... it's obvious that Ibuki-sama is the author's dream 
Evangelion woman... let him be...

Asuka: Yeah, but the Maya idol worship is getting a little stale, don't you think?

Kensuke: <almost dreamily> That cutie tech? Not at all... She is so cool, working with 
Dr. Akagi....

Asuka: <sweatdrops>


>     Shinji then looks deep into Maya's eyes and thought how beautiful they were. 
>Suddenly, a super-deformed figure of Misato pops up holding a  You Can Do It!' 
>sign.  "This is your big chance," the figure says.  "You're with the girl of your 
>dreams!  Go for it!" 


Misa-chan: <goes into SD mode> <victory signs> Go Shinji-kun!

Kaji: <wide-eyed> I've never seen you in SD mode before, Mi-chan... and how much you 
resemble Shidou Hikaru (of Rayearth)....

Asuka: <mutters> Nice cat ears, Misato-san...


>     Taking a large gulp of tea, Shinji starts by saying, "I...  I apologize for what I 
>was about to do that week ago." 
>
>     Maya's been taken by surprise.  "What you were about to do?" 
>     "Like blow up and take most of NERV with me." 
>
>     "Oh.  I understand.  You were angry.  It must've been horrible taking your 
>friend apart with your bear hands and being able to do nothing about it.  But we 
>had no choice.  We had to stop the berserk EVA from causing anymore destruction." 


Asuka: Bear hands.... <giggles, imagining Shinji with bear paws>

Kensuke: <clears throat> I believe that it would be "bare hands."

Misa-chan: Keep in mind that Maya-chan is adamantly against using the Dummy Plug 
System for *any* reason...


>     "You have such beautiful eyes." 
>
>     This takes Maya back even more.  "Why, yes.  I do have such beautiful eyes, 
>don't I?" 
>
>     "Maybe I wouldn't be so willing to take my life, as well as the lives of the 
>people at NERV, if I knew that I would end up taking your life as well." 
>
>     Maya gets up from her couch and takes a step back. 
>
>     "Now, I know where this leads.  You wanna do me, huh? Well, I see through 
>your trap.  I'm not gonna let you take advantage of me.  I only have eyes for my one 
>and only Ritsuko." 
>
>     "But you are the reason why I've stayed in NERV for so long.  To sit in the 
>seat of that large EVA, to have my lungs flooded with LCL, to do battles with 
>Angels, and then to come back and see your beautiful face for the umpteenth time." 
>
>     Maya's still taken back.  "Are you sure it's MY face and not Misato's or 
>Ritsuko's?" 
>
>     "No.  It's your face I want to see." 
>
>     "Okay, just as long as you're sure."  Maya calms down a bit and walks back to 
>couch.  She sits beside Shinji and takes his hand, bringing it up to her warm face.  "I 
>must warn you, though.  I'm not a buxom blonde like Ritsuko, or an E-cup like 
>Misato...  Oh.  And I hope you have a condom with you, Mr. Ikari." 


Misa-chan: <nearly chokes on 44 oz. Mountain Dew> That was a bit quick, ne... Oh yeah, 
Maya-chan never calls Ritsuko by her first name. Always calls her "sempai." (In school, 
that would mean "upperclassman.")

Kaji: <smiles> Rit-chan... Buxom isn't a word that I would use to describe her... I would 
use...

Kensuke: <interrupts> ... brilliant. She's a brilliant scientist, capable of making those way 
kakkoii (trans. "super cool") Eva units...

All but Kensuke: <sweatdrops>


>     Shinji nods his head. 
>
>     "Good boy.  I like my men cute, generous, and responsible." 


Kaji: It didn't take much convincing to pry her eyes from Rit-chan....

Misa-chan: No shit...


>     Maya slithers from out of her towel, showing her attractive, young body to 
>Shinji.  He uses both of his arms to feel around her body; her shoulders, her thighs, 
>her breasts, and her face.  He leans foward and he kisses her in the mouth, then 
>exploring her insides with his tongue.  She moans as he starts kissing downwards; 
>from the neck, to her breasts, across the stomach to her naval, then he arches her to 
>her back and glides between her legs to get to the good part.  He starts kissing her 
>pussy lips and then licks it. 


Kensuke: <dryly> I would rather see this with mechs, not people....

Asuka: <winces> You're more of a sukebe (trans. "dirty pervert") 
than I thought...


>     Maya moans a little louder.  "Oooohh...  Well.  This isn't the sullen young 
>Ikari we know and love."  She suddenly leans forward, takes him by the cheek, and 
>raises him up.  "But, if you want blowjobs, I'll have you know that you won't get 
>them from me.  Because I don't do that." 
>
>     "I understand, Maya my love.  Maybe some other time?" 
>
>     "Maybe.  But it all depends on you."  Maya's slowly unbuttoning Shinji's 
>shirt.  "Who is the pilot of EVA Unit 01?" 


Asuka: <yells at screen> "unbuttons", not "unbuttoning!"

Kensuke: <smiles> Yeah, and it's Ibuki-sama who's unbuttoning Ikari-kun's shirt....

Asuka: <blinks audibly> Eh??!! Oh yeah.... <stands, yelling at screen> Baka sukebe!

Kensuke: <grabs Asuka about the waist, dragging her down into her seat><accidentally 
lets go, planting his face in Asuka's crotch> 

Asuka: <in shock><thinks for a moment> <smiles, and lifts her skirt> 

Kensuke: <wide-eyed, looks up Asuka's skirt> <mutters> No panties.... <faints while 
suffering a massive nosebleed>


>     "I am." 
>
>     "And what are you fighting for?" 
>
>     "The safety...  Uh...  And the protection...  Of all people everywhere." 
>
>     "That's all good intentions, Ikari," she says as she takes his hands and brings it 
>between her legs.  "But what are you really fighting for?" 
>
>     "Uh...  Your...  Your pussy?" 
>
>     "CORRECT!  And what does Mr. Ikari win?"  She plunges his hand into her 
>pink box and she gives out a loud moan. 


Kaji: <places hand on Misa-chan's thigh> What do I win, Mi-chan?

Misa-chan: <says sweetly> This... <smacks Kaji's other cheek>


>     Asuka's wandering the streets of Tokyo-3 in total shock.  Lots of questions 
>about Shinji fly around her mind like the numbered balls in the air cylinder you 
>play Lotto with. 


Asuka: That could have been worded better, it's a little shaky there...


>     "What is it with that pervert, Shinji?  Why are women so attractive to this 
>clown?  What does he got that I'm not interested in?  Am I jelous?"  She violently 
>shakes her head back and forth to erase that question. 


Asuka: <points out> "jealous"... Even Touji-baka-kun could have....


>     Kensuke, the guns, mecha, and babes freak, leaves the theatre after watching 
>"Assassins" and soon sees the dazed and confused Asuka passing this way.  He goes 
>up to greet her... 


Kensuke: <wakes up> <points at screen> Hey! There's me!!! <jumps up and down, singing> 
I'm in a lemon! I'm in a lemon!

Asuka: <takes the mallet back from Misa-chan><bonks Kensuke in the back of the skull> 
Pipe down, you military otaku...


>     "Hey, Asuka!  What's up!  Hello?!  Is anybody home?!" 
>
>     But all Asuka can do is stare at her friend.  Lots of thoughts pass by her mind 
>right now.  Her thoughts revolve like the Wheel of Fortune until it starts clicking 
>down to the last part...  Her confused stare is replaced with an evil gaze... 


All: Eh?!

Kaji: <looks at the couple, chuckling>


>     Shinji is plunging his hand in and out of Maya's wet pussy and licking her 
>swollen clit as she moans and hollars louder and louder.  Then she scream as she 
>comes, she arches back, and a flood of wetness gushes out of her cunt.  He tries his 
>hardest to lick up most of the fluid while she simmers down.  She then leans up and 
>pats him on the head. 
>
>     "And now, I want you to do what you came here to do, Ikari." 
>
>     Shinji removes the EVA-Brand condom from his pants, takes off his pants and 
>underwear, and proceeds to roll the condom onto his Angel-size member.  Maya's 
>laying on her back waiting for him, and he soon lies down with her.  She takes hold 
>of his member and guides it into her cunt.  He goes in... 


Asuka: <fights back a light laugh> It's not that big.. I've...

Everyone turns to look at her

Asuka: <places hand behind head, laughing nervously> Heh... oh, nothing...


>     "OOOFF!!  Oh God you're tight, Maya!" 
>
>     "OHHH!!  And you're so big!  This is NOT what I've expected from the son 
>of Commander Gendou Ikari!" 
>
>     "(Well, I can't tell her that I've been practicing!)" Shinji thinks to himself as 
>he starts to hump her.  He bucks between her legs forcing his big dick within her 
>tight hole, and she moans loudly taking in as much pleasure as her host. 
>
>     "It seems...!  That you're not...!  A virgin...!  Are you?!" 
>
>     "Ohhh!  Huh?!   What...!  Gives you that?!" 
>
>     "Your hymen...!  It's broken!" 
>
>     "(I can't just tell him I was practi...)  Aaaahhh!" 
>
>     Shinji keeps pushing himself in and out of his true love, giving incredible 
>jubilation to himself and Maya.  And she shifts her body to move in pace with his. 
>He pumps harder and faster, until... 
>
>     "AAAAHHHOOOHH!!  I'M COMIIIINNOOOOHH!!" cries Maya as she 
>spasms for the second time.  Shinji also explodes, feeling his manhood splurt out but 
>halted by that latex barrier between him and his lover.  They both collapse onto the 
>floor in a heap of sweat and steam.  The two of them feel so happy together, smiling. 
>
>     "Well...  Ikari...   I must say...   Your skill in the sexual arts...  Must be 
>improving since your last...  Scientific study with Ritsuko...  Huh?" 
>
>     "Maya...  You are the most beautiful lady in the world...  I've found my 
>purpose...  I'm never gonna let you down..." 
>
>     "That's very enlightning...  A man and his devotion...  Is a beautiful thing." 


Misa-chan: <nudges Kaji> You hear that?

Kaji: <smirks> No.. not at all...


>     Maya takes a look at her watch and she goes into a panic.  "TWELVE 
>O'CLOCK!!  GODDAMNIT!!" 
>
>     "Huh? What?" 
>
>     "I gotta go back to the Geofront and do some work!  I'm so goddamn late! 
>Hurry up and get dressed!" 


Misa-chan: I can't picture Maya-chan saying that...


>     "Uh...  Right!  You got it!" 
>
>     And with that they instantly got dressed, left the apartment, and went their 
>separate ways; Maya to the Geofront and Shinji back to Misato's. 
>
>     Meanwhile, Asuka's over at Kensuke's home, and both of them are naked, 
>sexually spent, laying on the bed, with Asuka planning on sexing her life away.  She 
>tugs on her host for more action. 


Kensuke and Asuka: <raises eyebrows, jaws drop open>

Asuka: <turns to Kensuke> Sukebe! Anta baka!

Kensuke: <automatically shields himself from the blows>


>     "Damn, Asuka.  You're a hot babe, but I don't think I can do this anymore." 


Asuka: <stops hitting Kensuke> Hot babe? You really think so?

Kensuke: <thinks "Anything to make her stop"> Yeah...

>     But her gaze is still evil, and she's bent on total sexual fulfillment.  "More! 
>Kensuke!  I want more!" she breathes. 

Watching themselves have torrid sex on screen soon permeates the 14 year olds, 
reducing them to flinging off their clothes and going at it wildly in a theater seat.

Asuka: <makes a face> Ew.. this chair has gum on it...

Kensuke: <blushes> That's not gum, Asuka..

Asuka: <hits Kensuke> Anta baka!!


>                        End of episode 3 
>
>
>           TODAY'S LESSON: Don't fuck your life away! 


Misa-chan: <nudges Kaji> I hope that you were paying attention to today's lesson...

Kaji: <watches Asuka and Kensuke with interest> Oh yes.. I was paying attention... 
<starts to stroke Misa-chan's chest through her black dress> What do you think?

Misa-chan: <sighs> I think I need a beer.


>Comments?  Questions?  Flames?  Send  em all to tycplans@pacbell.net