This one takes extreme liberties with the series. Couple quick notes about
this one: 
1) Quatre gets raped by an OZ soldier.
2) Has some yaoi 4X3 near the end
3) Deals exclusively with Duo, Quatre and Trowa and a couple of original
        characters.
4) There's a major time gap in alot of parts, and even within parts...
5) A little bit of drag in the beginning

-------------------------------------------

"You want me to do WHAT?" demanded Duo.
"This is important," said Quatre. "OZ is holding a ball.... this is a
chance to break in and steal some information. We need the intelligence."
"Yeah... but... why do I gotta dress like a girl?"
"It's either cut your hair..."
Duo looked adamant.
"Or dress as a girl."
Duo sighed as he downed a shot of vodka. It was good thing he was
drinking. "Stuck between a rock and a hard place... All right... what do I
gotta do?"
"You'll be dressing in this."
Duo spewed out his drink as he stared at the dress. "Me... In that?! No
way in hell..."

Quatre was halfway dressed, wearing black slacks and white shirt. The tie
and jacket lay draped over a chair.
Duo however wore a red taffeta dress with a fitted halter-style bodice
with a pleated bra top. The ankle-length dress hugged the artifical curves
of his body like a second skin. Loosely twined around his newfound waist
was a gold belt with nacre clasps rimmed in gold. His waist had been
slimmed nearly two sizes with the help of a corset. It made it amazingly
hard to breathe. Not to mention he couldn't piss with whatever strange
leather underwear that Quatre had scrounged up for him to wear to hide his
obvious gender. He was as a matter of fact beginning to feel a little numb
down there. << I am going to be in pain.... How the hell did he convince
me to do this? >>
His hair had been done up in some amazingly complex braid, and Quatre was
slowly applying makeup to Duo's face. Duo tried not to wince as he tried
to get used to the idea of wearing high heels. He was going to have a hard
time walking. It would have been impossible for him to walk around were it
not for the two walking slits along the sides - coming to about mid-thigh.
It showed an indecent amount of leg, thought Duo.
"Could you please stop making faces... Duo?" asked Quatre. "I can't do
this right if you won't stay still."
"I can't help it... it ITCHES..."
"We're going to be late as is... Please stay still?"
Duo sighed and went back trying to remain like a statue.
Twenty minutes later...
"Done..." said Quatre beaming.
Duo stared at himself in the mirror and gaped. He looked like... a girl...
A cute one at that. Hastily he changed the train of his thoughts. Before
the pants from hell could castrate him.
Quatre bent to quickly do his tie and made sure he was presentable.
"You forgot your stole," said Quatre, picking up the transparent black
scarf, draping it carefully over Duo's shoulders.
Duo tried to keep smiling. << I'm going to get you for this Quatre.... >>

The party at the Morgan residence was at full swing, by the time Quatre
arrived with his lady, "Dulcina Maxwell".
"Do you have your invitation?" asked the OZ soldier, as he came up to
them?
Quatre held out the fake card.
The soldier took it and inserted it into the reader.
"Is this your first time on earth, Mr. Winner?"
"Uh.. yes it is," replied Quatre.
"I do hope you enjoy our hospitality. Have a nice evening...."

The soldier chuckled mirthlessy as the two made their way up. The card had
registered as a forgery. << They must be spies... kinda young... still the
girl is cute... and the boy even cuter... perhaps I can add both of them
to my collection... >>
He'd have to think of a way to get them.

Quatre picked up two glasses of champagne, thanking the waiter.
He was about to give one to Duo, aka Dulcina when someone pushed against
him, upsetting a glass.
"I'm sorry!" said the OZ ensign. The one from earlier. "Clumsy me...
Here... take this glass..."
The soldier gave him an apparently undrunk glass.
"Thank you," said Quatre.
"Don't mention it," said the ensign, disappearing back into the crowd. The
man was creepy. No if's ands or buts... He didn't like the way the man had
been staring at Duo.
Quatre took a sip of champagne as he handed the other to Duo.
"I think it's safe to go hack the files..." said Quatre.
Duo downed the drink, "I'll go..." he volunteered.
"You're sure?"
"It'll give me a chance to get out of these damned heels," muttered Duo.
Quatre laughed, "Okay... Meet you outside in 30 minutes?"
"Rodger," said Duo, weaving his way through the crowd.

Anna watched her cousin bump into the couple. She winced. Why was such an
incompetent person her cousin? At least he was apologizing...
"Major... there's a phone call for you," said a waiter. "It's from OZ
headquarters."
She nodded forgetting about her cousin as she followed the man out.

Quatre checked the time and frowned. Fifteen minutes to go... 
He tugged at his shirt collar. He felt hot and the room too crowded. He
needed some fresh air.
The ensign watched the boy. It had been the boy who had drunk the
champagne.  
<< Damn. I was hoping it'd be the girl... Oh well... A sissy looking boy
was just fine with him. >> 
Not that the boy was that bad looking.... With a predatory smile, he
followed the unsuspecting Quatre outside.

Quatre stumbled, everything was spinning. Then... everything went black.

Duo grimaced as he accessed the computer. Damn... this was harder than
he'd expected... there were more layers of security than most other OZ
systems.
He looked at the time. Damn... ten minutes had already passed. On the
screen a single word appeared. 
Password:
"Crap..."
This was definitly not your average OZ computer system.
He glanced around the room, his eye falling on a yellowed piece of paper. 
V08744
What the hell... he typed that in. The screen scrolled upwards and Duo
heaved a sigh of relief. He slipped the disk out of his wonderbra and
inserted it into the disk drive and hit copy.
He leaned back into the seat, allowing himself to kick back for a few
minutes.
<< So far so good.... >> He glanced back at the yellowed sheet. <<
Waitasec.... >>
He sat straight up and pulled the report out.
V08744 XX/XX/187 - Maxwell Church
He felt the blood drain from his face.
He riffed through the sheets. It was a report along with the list of
deceased persons.
Death Toll: 245
Survivors: 1
Two names were highlighted in red. Sister Helen. Duo.
As he pondered the significance of the report the computer beeped. He
looked at the time. Crap...
He slipped the file back where he had found it and his disk back into it's
hiding place.
He logged off and slipped back out.

Anna frowned as she entered the room. Perfume? She didn't use perfume...
She touched the computer and noted it was warm.
She turned the computer on and checked the logs. Files HAD been downloaded
within the last 5 minutes.
That girl she had passed in the hallway... "Shit!"

Duo gupled as he saw OZ soldiers. They looked like business. He wasn't
going to stay.
<< Sorry Quatre but you know the drill.... Mission first! >>

-----

Chapter 1

Quatre awoke feeling awful. Nauseated. His head hurt, as if he'd slept for
too long. His arms hurt. His eyes flew open.
"So you're awake..." came an amused voice. A hand slowly stroked his back.
Quatre wanted to say something but discovered that his mouth was held open
by a ring gag. Nothing coherent came out. He tugged vainly at the metal
handcuffs that held his wrists over his head. His ankles were shackled to
the ground, at shoulders length apart.
"I must admit I was hoping for the girl... but it doesn't matter... Gundam
pilot.."
Quatre paled.
He felt a knife press against the fabric of his shirt and he slowly heard
fabric being cut.
He hadn't bargained for this.
A cool hand touched his now exposed back, tracing the line of his spine.
"Such beautiful skin... it should bruise so wonderfully."
Quatre squirmed and shuddered. Was this man one of those perverts that his
nannies used to warn him about?! Quatre was itching for a bath from his
touch. It made him feel dirty. The man took hold of the waistline of
Quatre's pants and yanked downward hard.
Quatre felt as if his arms were going to be pulled out of their sockets.
Fabric tore and Quatre felt his face grow hot, even as the rest of his
body went cold.
He was now clad in only his... underwear.... He closed his eyes and
clenched his fist.
A low chuckle greeted him.

Duo sighed as he peered out of the abandoned apartment they had been
hiding out in. He was so worried about Quatre... He couldn't find the boy.
He pressed the headphone against his ear, listening to the OZ channel
broadcasts. Surely they'd have said something if they'd caught him.
Nothing. Nothing but routine traffic.
He'd checked at regular intervals to see if Quatre had sent him encrypted
mail. But it was depressingly silent. He couldn't stay here all day. He
had to check on his mobile suit and find something to eat. He was tired,
having not slept at all last night.

Major Anna Morgan frowned. She gazed at the soldiers seated before her.
<< Where is Nathan? >>
He'd called to say he was taking a vacation. Just because he was her
cousin didn't grant him any special dispensation like he seemed to think.
Now was not a good time. She needed all her officers here. Especially with
two gundam pilots loose in the city.
He'd obviously not bothered to check his phone messages.
"We have a situation, gentlemen," she said. "In addition to the remaining
federation forces we also have to deal with the presence of two gundam
pilots."
There were low mumurs all around.
She didn't like the news any more than they did. 
<< I just hope we can handle this crisis.... >>

Nathan cursed as he listened to the message. He couldn't spend the time he
wanted to to break the gundam pilot if he had to report for duty. Why
couldn't his cousin make an exception?
He'd imagined calling her and telling her he was questioning a suspect...
but she'd demand that he be brought in. That wouldn't work. Damn. he
couldn't tell her what he was doing.. He decided it'd just be better if he
laid low and acted as if he wasn't home. He ground his teeth in
frustration, and decided to take it out on the gundam pilot.

Quatre couldn't see what was coming. It wasn't until he heard a sharp
crack and then his world went white. He screamed into his gag as fire race
across his back. Spots danced in his eyes as he struggled to draw in
breath. A second and third line of fire crossed the first as he tried to
scream past the obstruction in his mouth.
At the fifth strike, he mercifully passed out.

The gundam pilot had passed out. That wasn't any fun.
He rummaged through a drawer, finding the vial he was looking for. He
walked around and passed the smelling salts under the uncounscious pilot's
nose until he regained counsciousness once more.
"It won't do if you pass out... you can't appreciate the lengths I go to
to torture you."
Tear-filled eyes stared back at him. Shattered orbs of sapphire, filled
with pain.
The OZ soldier ran his hand down along Quatre's back, tracing the lines of
blood.
Quatre whimpered and bit into his gag, choking back tears as his vision
began to go white once again.
The man stopped just as it seemed as if Quatre would black out.
"Now now... you mustn't pass out on me again..."
The OZ soldier fondled Quatre roughly. 
Quatre's eyes flew he uttered a muffled scream. The man was crushing his
family jewels! Quatre tried to beg for mercy as the man pinched and probed
him.
His eyes widened as he felt a finger poke at his butthole. Poke and then
force it's way inward.
"Ah... fresh meat..."
Mercifully, the prodding stopped, and he heard the sound of fabric sliding
on skin behind him. He tettered on the edge of uncounsciousness as he felt
something rammed into him. Tearing him apart from the inside.
<< Trowaaaaaa!!! >> Quatre screamed.

Trowa awoke from  a light dose. Had someone been calling him?
He checked the uncounscious pilot in his bed. No he was still
uncounscious.
He shook his head, probably just hearing things. 
He settled back onto the couch, laying down. His last thoughts were of
Quatre and wondering how he was doing.

Duo was frantic. He'd still found no traces of Quatre. He decided that
against his better judgement, he should pay a visit one more to the
Morgans.


"Madam... there's a young man by the name of Quatre Raberba Winner here to
see you."
Anna blinked. She recognised the family name. One of the First Families up
in space. 
"I'll see him."
Why was he here?
The young man in question looked nothing like the a member of the Winner
family. He didn't even look comfortable in the clothes he was wearing.
With that long braided hair, he reminded her more of that girl from the
ball. The alarms went off in her mind as she discreetly pulled out her gun
and set it on the desk. "Well... you CERTAINLY don't look like a girl...
today...." 
The boy's grin faded perceptibly, he looked as if he wanted to bolt.
"Sit... sit.." she said irritably.
He eyed the gun as he sat down. "I suppose you know who I am..."
"I don't know WHO you are... but I highly doubt you're Quatre Raberba
Winner. What are you doing here? I doubt it's to say you're sorry that you
hacked into my computer."
Duo blushed, "Have... have you seen the guy I was with at the party? I
can't find him. I thought he might have left the party separately...."
The question left her confused.
"Y'know... you could at least introduce yourself?"
"Uh... Duo. I may run... I may hide.. but I won't lie... Duo Maxwell..."
Her face went ash white for a moment before she picked up her gun and
shoved it back into its holster. "No... you made a clean escape. We didn't
hold anyone. I don't know anything about your partner," she replied
softly. "I'm sorry."
Duo sighed, "I see... Damn... I turned myself in for nothing...."
Duo blinked. 
<< Wait... What is she apologising for? >>
"When did you last see him?"
"Uh... last night around 21:15... I think..."
She shook her head. "I was gone by that time.... Perhaps my..." She turned
even whiter.
"What?"
She stood up. "Follow me...."

The soldier had finally left him alone. Left the bleeding and battered boy
to eat.
Quatre was kneeling there, his eyes closed, trying to deny what had
happened. His hands, secured above him was the only thing that kept him
upright. 
The OZ soldier had had beaten him with a switch when he refused to lick
off the blood... the shit... the cum... Beaten him until he had begged to
be allowed to lick the soldier clean. He would have puked it all back up
if a gag hadn't be shoved back into his mouth.
The humilation.
The pain.
He wished it would just end. Wished that it was just a bad dream and that
he'd wake up safe in bed. He knew it wasn't a dream. What he feared was
that he would die this way. That he would never see his father again. That
he would never have the chance to say that he loved Trowa.
Quatre tried to imagine the tall pilot of Gundam Heavyarms. It was
something to take his mind off the pain. Lovingly, he imagined the shy
gentle smile... the finely sculpted face...those mysterious green eyes.
The smile turned into a sneer.
He choked back another sob. He wanted Trowa to hold him and tell him
everything would be okay. How could Trowa love him if he was this weak?
Try as he could, he couldn't summon any more tears. He didn't have the
energy.
<< Duo.... >> thought Quatre. << Why weren't you there when I needed you?
>>

Duo shivered, his skin crawling. It felt as if someone was walking over
his grave. He rubbed his arms as he followed Anna.
This part of the house was giving him the creeps.
"It's my cousin's half of the place," she said quietly. "He doesn't like
the servants poking about here."
Frankly Duo wouldn't WANT to poke about around here.
Anna went to one of the doors. It was ajar. She used a foot to push it
open and looked inside. She turned around quickly and leaned against the
wall crossing herself. Duo blinked. This was the first time he'd seen
anyone do that since his time at Maxwell Church.
"Hey... what's wrong?"
"Your... your friend's in there..." she grabbed hold of his arm before he
could charge in there. "It... it's not pretty."
Duo wrenched his arm away from her grasp and charged in. "Quatre!?"
His eyes widened in shock as staggered back against a wall, and slumped to
the ground. << MY GOD?! >>

Quatre's eyes snapped open. Someone had called his name. He craned his
head back, fighting against the pain. Duo? Yes... it was Duo. He was
staring in shock at Quatre.
<< Duo! Help me! >> he screamed mentally.

Duo sat there frozen. His eyes glazed over in shock. What had happened to
Quatre? His back was covered with long cuts. Bruises and scratches marred
his inner thighs and legs.
<< I... I left him and this... is what happened? God... it's my fault...
>>

Anna took another breath before walking into the room. Fighting her
revulsion she made her way to the boy and studied the locks as she
ungagged him and loosened the restraints around his knees and ankles.
"Can you stand?" she asked softly. "I'd rather not have to break the lock
in here..."
Quatre nodded, trying to get up and failed. His legs were numb from
spending most of the night kneeling. Pain shot up his lacerated back and
he bit his lip trying not to cry out.
She pulled out a small vial and a handkerchief. "Listen... I'm going to
knock you out... at least... you won't feel the pain..."
Quatre nodded, closing his eyes. He was hurt. He was tired.
<< If I never wake up... so much the better... >> he thought as she
pressed the handkerchief against his nose and mouth. Blessed oblivion took
him once more.

She slowly lifted Quatre's handcuffed hands over the hook. He was heavier
than she'd expected. She wasn't going to be able to manage him alone.
"Duo... Duo!" she called out. "I can't carry him alone!? Duo! Duo Maxwell!
For the love of Sister Helen. Snap out of it Duo!"

He blinked and shook his head. << What? >>
The major was draping her jacket over Quatre, bundling him up. Hiding the
worst of the ravages. "We'll have to carry him out," she said.
Duo got up jerkily and stumbled over. God... Quatre looked even worse
close up.
<< It's my fault... I shoulda made sure he got out allright... >>
"I can carry him," Duo answered. Quatre was light compared to the heavy
weight he felt on his conscience.
"Follow me..." she said.
With his double burden, he followed her out. Quatre laid out over his
shoulder like a rag doll.

Duo laid Quatre out on the bed, realising too late that it would probably
ruin the white sheets.
The major had picked up a phone and was dialing it busily. "Hello...
Lindsay? I know it's not a good time to bother you... but drop everything
and bring your surgical and rape kit... No... it's for a boy. Yes. A boy.
Please hurry. He'll be up in my room."
She hung up. "Listen... A female friend of mine will be arriving soon to
take a look at him... She'll do her best for him.... I need to deal with
that wretched cousin of mine..."
Her mouth was set in a thin line. "I'll be back in a little while..."

Duo sat in the main room of the suite, feeling miserable. The doctor had
booted him out of the room when he had proved to be unable to even help
wash out the cuts on Quatre's back.
"Out! Out!" she had cried out, in frustration. "You're just in my way.
Out!"
He sighed, slumping down in the couch, his arms dangling over the back and
staring at the ceiling.
<< It's my fault... I shoulda been there for him... >> He sighed, closing
his eyes when he remembered that it was Major Morgan who had untied Quatre
while he had been stunned to near senselessness. << Shit... I'm so sorry
Quatre... >>
"You should eat something," came a quiet voice. Anna had returned.
"I don't feel like eating," said Duo.
"I can't blame you," she answered. "But you'll get ill if you don't eat
and rest."
The bedroom door opened, a tired doctor walking out.
"He's a mess. I'd like to dish out the same to whoever did this to him,"
she said viciously. "He'll recover... he's young. I don't know about
mentally..."
"C-can I see him?"
"He's heavily sedated. He won't wake up for several hours at the least.
But go on in..."

Doctor Lindsay Aston shook her head as the door closed. "My god... who DID
this to the poor boy. Anna?"
"Nathan."
"You're kidding me..."
Anna shook her head.
"That fucking bastard..."
"I'm handling the matter. Lindsay... did you make a report? I'll need it."
The doctor nodded. "I will... I'll be back tomorrow. If he wakes up before
I show up give him a small dose of morphine. How could Nathan do that to
the poor kid? nevermind... You're not him. You wouldn't know."

Duo regarded the uncounscious boy. He looked better now, but he could see
the dark bags under Qautre's eyes, the pinched look to his face as if
still in pain.
"Oh god... I should NEVER have left you alone..." said Duo.
He brushed back a lock of Quatre's hair and fumbled under the blankets for
Quatre's hand. Duo winced as Quatre's hand felt like ice, he slowly tried
to rub warmth back into the boy's hand.

Anna sighed watching Duo and Quatre from the doorway. She shook her head,
touching the small golden cross that she wore hidden under her uniform.
The little boy from Maxwell church still had a cloud of misfortune
trailing behind him.
Anna remembered her first run-in with Duo. 
She had been fourteen at the time... Washing carrots in water that was
doubtlessly dirtier than the vegetables themselves. But it couldn't be
helped. There was no running water in this part of the colony. They had to
reuse the water as much as possible.
Whether it was bad planning or lack of resources she didn't know. But the
church was too poor to be able to afford anything more than the daily
ration of drinking water allotted to each person.
There were a couple other girls. Also orphans. They all dressed like nuns
just as the boys were dressed like little priests. The two girls had been
giggling as they watched what was going on outside of the kitchen.
"Quit it! Didn't I say it? Quit it!" came the indignant protests.
The girls laughed even harder.
Her curiousity piqued, she joined them and was greeted with the sight of a
boy being held down by Sister Helen. She had been attempting to cut his
unruly hair but the boy had apparently been putting up a fight.
She watched enviously as the sister brushed out the boy's long hair and
did it up in a braid. Her water-wrinkled hand went to touch her own short
hair hidden under the nunnish habit. She'd had to cut her own hair short
when it became clear that it would be impossible to keep it long.
She had been at the orphanage for a couple years by this time. While she
hadn't exactly lived a life of luxury, she did miss certain things. Like
being able to take a bath and clean clothes. It was times like this that
she hoped her parents were burning in the depths of hell. The soldiers had
flushed out the place where her parents and other dissidents had been
hiding. Her mother had died, shielding her. 
<< Some small comfort! It would have been better if I had died with
everyone else. >>
She ended up being taken into custody. Those two weeks, before Maxwell
Church had agreed to take her in, had been pure hell. One of the soldiers
never stopped staring at her. Anna shivered. 
She remembered those hungry eyes. How that soldier enjoyed rubbing himself
against her. How-
She shook her head wiping away the tears in her eyes. She didn't need
those memories. She bit her lower lip, regarding the uncounscious boy. <<
That poor boy...  Quatre? Was it? He's going to have a hard time... >>

Duo saw her bow her head, and fold her hands. Automatically, he followed
suit as she spoke. "Our Father who art in Heaven... we thank you for this
meal and ask that you extend your blessings to friends near and far...
that you will protect them... that you will heal them. Amen."
"Amen..." he mumbled after her. "I didn't know you were a Christian."
"At times," she replied.
He tried to figure out the logic of that statement as the servants came
out with the food. 
Duo would normally have dug right in, but today, Duo couldn't quite find
the appetite. He toyed with the carrots, rolling them around in the gravy.
"You should eat while you can," she said. Her voice filled with amusement.
"Waste not.."
"Want not... Yeah... I know," said Duo, picking up the knife and beginning
to work on the food.
"Doctor Aston said that he'll recover," she said softly.
"That's not the point," he said. "I... I wasn't there for him. I put the
mission before him and look at him.... I shoulda just..." He flushed as he
remembered who he was talking to. "Sorry... I'm just babbling my brains
out. I'm really sorry I broke into your system... I'll return the
data...."
She smiled pleasantly. "What system break in?"
He blinked. "I-"
"I don't remember anything like that happening. A test of security
measures yes, but no break in. I'll have to report a failure of security
measures to the OZ headquarters of course..."
He gaped at her. "What?"
She chuckled. "You still don't recognise me do you?"
"Should I?"
"You're such a scatterbrain... Little Duo of Maxwell Church..."
His heart nearly stopped. << No one calls me that anymore... >> 
He stared at her hard, trying to picture her.
She began humming softy. The melody brought back the memory of a thin
girl... What had been her name? Angie? Annie? Anne? Anna?
"Anna.... Anna Selwyn?!"
She smiled. "You do remember."

"Duo!" The girl exclaimed happily. "Guess what!? My grandfather found me!
I'm going home!"
"You're what?" asked Duo. He had been perhaps 8 years old at the time.
"I have a family! On earth!"
"Lucky...." said Duo, enviously. "So... you're leaving? When?"
"Now..." she replied breathlessly. "I'll miss everyone!"
"Yeah sure," he replied wryly. "You'll go home and you'll never see or
think of me again."
"That's not true..." she replied indignantly. "I'll always remeber Maxwell
Church. Especially you, Duo."
Duo grinned, trying to ignore the lump in his throat. "I was just teasin
ya... I'll miss ya."
"Oh! Before I forget..." she smiled and removed her small silver cross
pendant. "Here... this is for you... To remember me by.... Keep it with
you always and God will lead you to my doorstep someday."
He of course didn't believe it but it was the  first time anyone had given
him something to remember them by. She fastened the pendant around his
neck, smiling. "Take good care of Sister Helen and Father. They'd forget
what laughter was unless you keep them laughing."

Duo touched the small silver pendant that he still wore under his
clothing, feeling the cross press against his flesh. In a shaky voice he
said, "I may have to reconsider my ideas about miracles. But... why are
you Anna Morgan now?"
"I adopted my grandfather's name. Or rather... he insisted. He didn't want
his grand-daughter to be known as 'the daughter of those damned Selwyn
rebels'." She laughed, then her expression got serious. "I never forgot
you, or Maxwell Church. I was devastated when I heard about the uprising.
I thought... that everyone had died. I decided then and there to join OZ
and work against the system."
"Not too successfully it seems, considering you're a major," remarked Duo.
"And OZ is in charge."
She shrugged. "I never said I was perfect. It was a relief when I finally
discovered that you were still alive."
"I'm a survivor."
She nodded. "Still... it seems that somehow... we ended up on opposing
sides of the war... But I won't tell if you don't. Truce?" She held her
hand out to him.
"Yeah..." he replied, leaning over to shake it. "Truce."

Quatre started screaming. "No! No! Stop it please!" He was thrashing about
in his sleep, trapped within a nightmare.
Duo scrambled out of the small bed that had been added to the room. He
grabbed Quatre's shoulders and shook the youth awake. "It's just a dream!
Wake up! Quatre!"
Quatre's eyes stared blankly, his pupils dialated with terror. "D...duo?
Is that really you? I'm not dreaming right?"
"Yeah.. I'm here. In the flesh."
"Oh... god... Duo..." Quatre began sobbing, holding Duo's arms.
"I...it..."
"Calm down... you're safe."
Quatre nodded, closing his eyes. 
Something about his eyes had worried Duo. He couldn't pin it down. 
"What is today's date?" the boy asked through his tears.
"It's Tuesday, around ten o'clock..."
"I didn't think you'd go to sleep so early...."
Sleep? It was broad daylight. "It's morning, Quatre." 
Quatre was silent for a long moment staring upward. Then in a timid voice
he said. "Duo... I- I can't see a thing..."
Duo's heart nearly stopped. "What..? Wait here... I'll get someone..."
"Don't leave me!" said Quatre, holding Duo in place.
"It'll just be a few minutes..."
"Please don't leave me... I'm scared..."
There was a knock at the door, "Duo?" came the faint voice. "Is it safe to
come in?"
Duo looked down and blushed. He was only wearing his boxers. It was either
his dignity or Quatre. "Uh... yeah come in..."
She turned beet red, and turned around. "I- I thought you said it was safe
to come in!"
"Is doctor Aston here yet?" asked Duo. His voice cracking from stress.
"She's at the hospital... She was called in for emergency surgury and
can't come for a while... what's wrong?"
"I... I can't see a thing," said Quatre, breaking into tears once more.

"Sometimes things like this happen," said Doctor Aston, reassuringly.
"You'll be fine in a few days. Your nervous system was just overloaded and
decided to shut down."
"I see..." said Quatre breathing a sigh of relief.
"Meanwhile... I'm going to conduct a full examination and interview, Mr.
Winner... Major Morgan needs the full medical report to press charges."
Quatre paled and nodded slowly, "Okay..." he said weakly. "Duo...?"
"What is it Quatre?"
"Can... Can I ask you to leave... It's nothing personal... I just-"
"That's all right, I should go pick up our gear. Looks like we're stuck
here for a while."
"Here... I'll have someone drive you," said Anna. "I'll be back in a few
minutes, Lindsay."
She put her arm around his shoulder and guided Duo out.
"He doesn't mean to hurt your feelings," said Anna. "He's just very lost.
Hurt. And confused. He doesn't think anyone can understand how embarassed
he is."
Duo sighed.
"I'll talk to you in a little while. Douglas! Please get the car and drive
this young man to his place, help him pack and then bring him back?"
The servant nodded, "Of course..."

Quatre stifled the urge to scream. Even with painkillers coursing through
his system, the examination was far from gentle.
"There MAY be some scarring on your back," said the doctor. "I suggest
plastic surgery if the thought of scars bothers you."
Quatre nodded numbly.
"I can't hurry the healing. All I can say is that you need to take it easy
for the next two weeks. If you need to talk with someone about your-"
"No... I'll be fine."
Lindsay laughed. "I wasn't suggesting a psychologist."
"Lindsay..."
Anna had returned.
"I seem to sicc every rape victim I run into on you, I'm sorry... Anna."
Anna laughed. "It's all right... it's just that... I don't think he's
ready to talk about it yet. Besides. He has his friend to talk to..."
"You're right, Anna" said the doctor. "I'll be back in two-three days to
check up on you."
Quatre nodded, "Thank you, Doctor Aston."
"No problem. It's my job."

Duo hated this. The blond haired boy spent most of the day listless, often
breaking into tears. Most of his nights were spent sleepless, listening to
Quatre moan, thrash in his sleep, or wake up crying. It'd gotten so bad
that Duo had reluctantly taken to sleeping in another room.
Whenever Duo tried to apologize for neglecting to make sure that Quatre
had gotten out of the ball safely, Quatre got all defensive. "Stop making
things up! Nothing happened!"
It absolutely frustrated him.
Anna had assured him that this was normal and to just never tell anyone
about it. "Let the sleeping dog lie..." She'd then closet herself with
Quatre for hours, talking about lord knew what. At least the two of them
were finally going to get out of here. Quatre was up and about.
Anna came in looking perturbed.
"You all right?" asked Duo.
"Yes... I need to tell you this... Nathan's escaped."
Duo's heart nearly skipped a beat. The bastard had escaped?
"While OZ is doing their best to relocate him, SUPPOSEDLY," she said. "I
think they're more inclined to just let him slide through the woodworks. I
think he may have escaped up to the colonies."
Duo nodded. "Gotcha... I'll look out for Quatre."
"I wish you didn't have to go, but... it's for the better."
Duo grinned. "Well... it's been fun. Too bad we're not likely to ever see
each other again."
She smiled back. "Yes we will..."
He wondered what made her so sure of that.

-------

Chapter 2

Anna had left OZ, and was now working up in space. 
She'd managed to join the Sweepers Group, and work on their ship, the
Peacemillion. They had been for throwing her out of the airlock when she
made it know she had been an OZ soldier but Zechs... no Milliard
Peacecraft, had prevailed.
He too had been an OZ soldier, after all. But he had left the
Peacemillion.
And here she was in a kitchen again. 
She laughed. The cook regarded her curiously.
"Just thinking... Who would have thought that I'd be cooking again."
"I be thinking," said the cook. "You're pretty knowledgable 'bout cooking
for a Baroness."
Anna smiled, "There was a time when I was just a poor orphan on the
colonies. We used to wash vegetables in rain water that was filthier than
the vegetables themselves."
The cook cracked a wry grin. "That I'd have to see, begging yer pardon."
She smiled. "Okay... anything else you needed help with?"
"Nah... be fine now. Thanks..."
She wiped her hands and smiled. 
She floated down the hall and frowned at the commotion. New voices. Yet...
familiar voices.
She floated down the corridor and blinked.
"Duo!" she exclaimed. "Quatre too!"
The long haired boy stared at her. "Anna...?!"
The blond haired boy broke out into a shy smile, "Hullo..."
"Quatre..." she smiled extending her hand to the boy. Slowly the boy
accepted it. "My deepest condolences on your father's death..."
The boy swallowed hard but smiled, "Thank you.."
There was another youth with them. Taller than the other two, staring at
things in confusion. He had the look of a caged lion. "Should I know you?"
he asked timidly.
"Trowa Barton... this is Anna Morgan. Anna, meet Trowa. You've never met
her. She's an old friend of mine. Also an OZ major..." said Duo.
"Former... major." replied Anna with a smile. "Pleased to make your
aquaintance."
Trowa nodded uncertainly, glancing at Quatre. She made note of the glances
they were giving each other as she spoke. "You decided to join us?"
Quatre often looked indecisive or guilty. Trowa seemed to look to Quatre
for help.
"Can't refuse an offer of fuel and such..." said Duo filppantly. "What
about you?"
Anna laughed.
"Following where my heart lead me," she said smiling. "I told you we'd
meet again for certain."
"You must be psychic," said Duo.
She shook her head. "Just a lucky guesser."
"Go on ahead, you two," said Duo. "I'll be a while."
Quatre nodded. "Come on Trowa..."
Anna watched the two float off. "Is he also a gundam pilot...?"
Duo nodded, "He lost his memory... Quatre seems to know how but won't talk
about it."
<< Is that why he looks so guilty when he glances at Trowa? No...
something else... >>"How have you two been? I'd heard you'd been captured
by OZ... twice."
Duo groaned.

Trowa frowned. He'd been puzzled by Quatre's behaviour. Something about it
was strange. How the boy would sometimes follow him around, just staring
at him. And other times just totally avoiding him.
It frustrated him. He couldn't remember if this was normal for the blond
haired pilot. He didn't feel comfortable enough to ask the others either.
A familiar figure caught his attention on the monitor. She and the others
in the circus were being held hostage by the space arm of OZ.
<< Katherine. >> He had to go save her.

--------

Chapter 3

Quatre stared at his mobile suit, his thoughts wandering. They had just
returned from a mission to liberate one of the L-3 Colonies that the Space
arms of OZ had taken control of. The colony where Katherine and the other
members of Trowa's circus had been taken hostage.
There had been no loss of life, and the OZ soldiers who had been in charge
of the colony were now sitting in the jail with colonial authorities.
Quatre let out a small scream as a pair of hands rest on his shoulders. He
wrenched away whirling around and losing his traction so that he started
floating.
Trowa stared back at him surprised, and a trace of hurt in his eyes.
"T...Trowa..." stuttered Quatre, staring at Trowa as he floated upside
down. He flushed even as felt his heart want to explode.. "Don't scare me
like that..."
"I'm sorry..." said Trowa. "You looked stressed so I thought... you'd like
a back massage."
Quatre realised that he was tense. "That does sound good," he admitted.
Trowa was worried. Quatre seemed to go through these extreme phases where
he sought him out for company and then would totally avoid him. It puzzled
him. While there were still some small fuzzy gaps in his memory, he never
remembered Quatre being like this the few time before that they had met.
What had happened to the gentle Quatre he knew? Another thing he
noticed... 
Quatre never took a shower when the others were around. It seemed he
always chose times when no one else was around to shower.
Perhaps he was just body shy, but it was almost disturbingly painful to
watch Quatre pass by the shower room then leave if he saw a cubbyhole
filled.
"Why don't we meet at the shower room and I'll massage your back for you."
Quatre's face went white and his eyes were filled with something that
could be called pure terror. "Uh... I... don't feel so good right now...
maybe I'll rest a little first."
"Is something wrong?"
Quatre shook his head. "No.. nothing..." Quatre pushed his way past Trowa,
hurrying out of the hangar.
"....."
One other person observed the interchange. From the cockpit of
Deathscythe, Duo palmed off the monitor and speakers. He sat there in the
darkness, feeling guilty. << Damn... damn. >>
Duo had gone in search of Anna as soon as both Trowa and Quatre had left.
He had finally tracked her down in stores, where she was checking
inventory.
"What makes you think he'll talk to me?" she asked as she opened up a
crate. "If he won't even open up to you..."
"You helped him through the worst of it... Can't you do something?"
"I can help only if he's willing..." she replied.
"Well... could you at least go and see if he's allright?"
"Are you offering to sort through the rest of these crates for me?"
"If that's what it takes," replied Duo. He was itching for a shower and
bed, but Quatre came first.
She smiled, "I'm just kidding about the crates. I'll go see if he's
willing to talk."

Quatre made it into his room before breaking into tears.
He thought he had gotten over it. He slowly stripped off his flight suit
and slowly pulled off the shirt he wore underneath. He turned his back to
the mirror and stared through misty eyes at the crosswork of red scars
along his back.
"....."
"Quatre..." came a muffled voice from outside. "Can I come in?"
Quatre gulped as he dragged his shirt back on and tried to dash the tears
from his eyes. "In a second..." he called out as he hurriedly slipped on
his pants and shirt.
Trowa stood outside, a small bottle in hand. "Can I come in?"
Quatre smiled wanely, "Sure..."
<< He's been crying... Why? >> wondered Trowa. "Are you sure you don't
want a backrub?"
Quatre nodded, sitting on the bunk. "I'm fine... Have a seat..."
Trowa sat next to Quatre, instead of the chair.
Quatre stiffened. << Please... not now Trowa... >>
"Do you like me?" asked Trowa.
Quatre swallowed hard and answered faintly "... Yes... Very much..."
Trowa felt relieved. Then it wasn't that Quatre didn't like him. Was
Quatre afraid that he wouldn't like him back? He rest a hand on Quatre's
shoulder. "Is that what you've been worried about?"
Quatre fought the urge to pull away. "Uh... kinda..."
Trowa smiled softly, pulling Quatre into a loose hug.
Quatre tried to relax but remained frozen, his heart beating fit to
explode.
"Is something wrong?" asked Trowa. Quatre wasn't just rigid... he was
shaking.
"N...nothing..." answered Quatre, trying to smile. He felt so queasy. <<
Oh god... what do I do...? >>
"You're shaking..."
"It's just cold..."
"Shall I warm you up?" asked Trowa softly, leaning towards Quatre.
Quatre couldn't stand it anymore and wrenched away, hitting the wall on
the other side of the room, and coming to rest on the ground in a huddle.
His eyes wide with fear.
Trowa stared back a puzzled and hurt expression on his face. "Quatre?
What's wrong? Quatre?!"
Quatre was pale and shaking, his hands pressed against his mouth.
Trowa wanted to hold him, but was afraid to even touch him. Didn't Quatre
like him?
Trowa stood, sighing. "I guess I'll leave you..." He moved to the door
slowly.
"W..wait... Trowa...." Quatre was shivering so hard that he was
stuttering. "I... DO love you.... Trowa-"
Quatre began to cry again.

Trowa was at an absolute loss. << He says he loves me... But.... >>
The door chimed. << Who is it now? >>
A femine voice came through the intercom. "Quatre? Are you in there? Do
you want to talk about it? It's Anna..."
<< Whoever this Anna person is, she sounds like she knows what's going on.
>>
Trowa moved to the door, opening it. He blinked at the woman at the door.
She wore the uniform of an OZ officer.
He then remembered he'd met her in passing a couple times. An old friend
of Duo's. Anna Morgan. A former OZ major.
She looked surprised. "Trowa... isn't it? Am I disturbing the two of you?"
"No... Perhaps you can help?" He moved aside and inclined his head towards
Quatre.
Her eyes widened as she floated in. "Quatre? I'm coming to your side...
It's just me. I won't hurt you...." she said slowly. Reaching out to touch
him.
Quatre flinched but appeared to re-awaken to his surroundings. He stared
past her to Trowa with this haunted expression and buried his face into
his hands.
She ran a hand through her hair. "Damn..."
"Would you mind telling me what happened?"
She smiled sadly, "He was raped."
Trowa's eyes narrowed.
"It happened... almost seven months back... Not too long after the time
the pilot of Gundam 01... Heero... Self-destructed his gundam."
<< Then that voice I heard that night... >> Trowa leaned against the wall,
his knees refusing to support him. That voice HAD been Quatre's then. <<
I... >>
"Don't you go guilt-tripping too, Trowa," she said sternly as she helped
the shaking Quatre sit back on the bed. 
Trowa felt like a fifth wheel. Anna was doing a fine job calming Quatre
down. He considered leaving. His presence was obviously causing Quatre
much distress.
It seemed as if she had read his mind, "I need you here. I can't get him
to open up alone."
"What do you need me to do?"
"Stand in front of Quatre... then hold your hands out."
He complied wondering what she was up to.
She knelt, steadying Quatre's shaking hands. "You need to open up to
someone, Quatre.... It might as well be to the one you love... Take his
hand..."
Quatre swallowed, hands inching foward at a painfully slow pace. Then he
stopped an inch away, unable to force his hands any more forward. He
closed his eyes biting his lip. "I... can't... I just... can't."
"You love him don't you?" she asked softly.
Quatre nodded, his eyes closed still. Anna slowly pulled his hands
forward, so that they just touched the tips of Trowa's fingers. Quatre
flinched, but somehow managed to convince his hands to close around
Trowa's.
Anna smiled softly. << Score one for the good guys. >>
Trowa squeezed Quatre's hands reassuringly
Quatre tried to smile, but it came out a little lopsided and looked more
like a grimace. The blond-haired boy slowly stood, and almost painfully
embraced Trowa, burying his face into the taller pilot's shoulder.
Anna smiled taking this as a cue to withdraw for now, "I really need to
get back to work... Do you think you two can take it from here?"
Trowa glanced at Quatre. He didn't want to answer for him.
"I... We'll try..." answered Quatre. "Thank you..."
She turned and floated out, pausing at the door to say before leaving,
"Don't push yourself too hard Quatre, you'll just end up hating yourself
for it... If either of you need to talk... I'll be around."

Trowa hugged the shaking Quatre, stroking his hair. "Why didn't you just
tell me?" he asked.
"I... I just couldn't.... I'm so sorry..."
"There's nothing to apologise about.... It's not your fault..."
"I'm sorry that you can't be my first...."
"It doesn't matter," said Trowa. "You love me. I love you. That's all that
matters."
Quatre nuzzled Trowa's neck, slowly... deliberately kissing.
"Quatre... you don't have to force yourself..."
"I need to do this..." The boy fumbled with Trowa's shirt, pulling it out
and sliding his hands up to touch Trowa's back. Quatre's hands were ice
cold.
"Are you sure...."
Quatre nodded, his eyes tightly closed.
Trowa slowly reached for Quatre's shirt, slowly pulling it upward.
Quatre fought the urge to bolt as his shirt came off. He was
hyperventilating by this point.
"I... don't think you're quite ready," said Trowa. "I don't want you to
hate yourself...."
Quatre broke down crying. "I knew it... I can't even let the person I love
get close to me."
Trowa smiled gently, brushing away the tears from Quatre's face. "I don't
want to hurt you. I can wait until you're ready."
"T-Trowa..."
"Do you still want that backrub?"
Quatre smiled back, sniffling. "I'd like that very much..."

Trowa sighed, his hands still feeling slightly oily from the massage
lotion. Quatre had eventually fallen into an exhausted slumber under his
ministrations. Trowa was going to hurt the person who had done this to
Quatre.
He'd had to pause a couple times, asking members of the Peacemillion crew
if they knew which room was Anna's. Finally, he stood at the door to her
and another crewmember's room.
He pressed the buzzer.
"Who is it?"
"Trowa. Is Anna Morgan in?"
"Hold on a moment..." she answered. "I'm not... quite presentable..."
The door finally slid open, to reveal the woman in a sleeping robe, her
dark hair floating around her like kelp in a sea bed. "How is he?"
"Asleep. I'm not bothering you am I?"
"Not immensely," she replied. "Did you need something?"
"I want to know what happened to Quatre."
"....."
"Who did this to him?" asked Trowa.
"Nathan Morgan... my cousin," she said with a sigh.
He could understand why Anna was putting this much effort into helping
Quatre.
"I want to know what this Nathan person looks like. I want to know exactly
what he did to Quatre."
Anna sighed, running a hand through her damp hair. "All right... Hold on a
moment."
She floated over to a small press and pulled out a disk holder. She pulled
one out and put it back in, repeating this for each disk until she found
the one she had been looking for. She tossed it at him. "He escaped before
he could be courtmartialed. I don't know where he's hiding now. I want it
back."
"Good... cause I'm going to hunt him down and kill him," replied Trowa,
his face set in a grim mask as he caught the diskette.
Anna had no doubt that Trowa was capable of doing just that.
"It's got what you want to know," she smiled. "I thought it might come in
useful someday. The password is: QRW."
"I didn't get a chance to say it earlier.... Thanks..."
She smiled. "I understand what Quatre is going through."
"....."
"Maybe he can find the peace he's looking for in your arms."
Trowa smiled briefly. "I'll return this to you."

Examining Doctor: Aston, Lindsay, M.D.
Date: XX-XX-195
Patient: Quatre R. Winner       Age: 15
Height: 156cm                   Weight: 41kg
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Male subject has sustained:
- Bite marks of human origin on neck and upper torso.
- Raw spots in the mouth.
- Numerous welts and lacerations on the back. Inflicted by a strap of some
sort.
- Bruises along upper inner thighs, throat and face. Extensive bruises on
belly and ribs.
- Evidence of internal bleeding and presence of semen in the rectum.
- Fever and bacterial infection.
- Bruises on wrists and ankles from restraints.

Lab result: Semen 
[image] Genetic match with sample semen of suspect: Nathan Edwin Morgan.
        Age: 27
        Height: 178cm                   Weight: 65kg

Medical Conclusion: Rape
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Trowa stared at the image of the OZ officer, his eyes narrowing. << I know
who you are... >>
Various pictures had been taken of the injuries and Trowa was appalled.
Quatre must have been in incredible pain. Once again Trowa felt guilty for
not being there for Quatre when it had happened. Hadn't... Duo been there.
Trowa swallowed and decided that he should have a talk with that boy.

Duo was trying to towel dry his hair in the locker area when Trowa floated
in.
"Yo! Trowa..." Duo's voice faltered as he noticed the expression on the
other pilot's face. "Is something wrong?"
"Why didn't you keep Quatre from getting hurt?"
"Hurt? What are you talking about?" Duo smiled, trying to hide his
discomfiture.
Trowa stared at Duo, his hands clenching into a fist. "You know what I'm
talking about. How else would Anna have known to come check on Quatre? You
must have overheard us..."
<< Oh shit... He does know... >> Duo gulped, noticing the tension in the
other pilot. He'd been hoping Trowa would never ask him that question.
"I... I don't have an excuse," said Duo, his eyes downcast. "I'd trade
places if I could, but I can't. That's just the luck of the draw."
Duo realised he probably should not have put it that way, as Trowa's fist
came up to strike him. He ducked, feeling Trowa's fist graze his ear.
Trowa grabbed a handful of Duo's hair, jerking the American pilot back
before he could duck away.
"Shit! You didn't have to do that!" cried Duo, feeling tears come to his
eyes as his forward momentum was abruptly halted.
"Does it hurt?" asked Trowa. "Good."
Duo couldn't believe the words coming out of Trowa's mouth.
"I couldn't help it!" said Duo, holding onto the strand of hair, to keep
Trowa from ripping his hair out by the roots. "I had the mission to think
about. Of course the mission turned out to be a moot point...."
Trowa gave Duo's hair another yank, his voice remaining coldly even still.
"Always thinking of yourself, you mean."
Duo felt himself go cold then hot then cold again. "I was NOT thinking of
myself." But deep down, he wondered if what Trowa had said was true.
"You could have gone back to check on Quatre."
Duo looked away, "Yeah..." he finally answered. "I coulda..."
"Why didn't you?"
"Trowa?" said Duo quietly. "Leggo of my hair and I'll try to explain...
'kay?"
Reluctantly, Trowa released the long-haired pilot. Duo tried to smooth his
hair as he talked.
"I know Quatre means everything to you... I care about him too. He's my
friend. We're all friends, or at least I hope we are... But I couldn't
help it. We knew going in that this was risky. We accepted it. It was
either blow the mission or let Quatre take the risks. It makes me feel
like shit, but I really thought that Quatre wasn't at risk."
Trowa was silent.
"If it makes you feel any better... If I knew back then, what I know
now... I'd have gone back for him. But I can't. That's life. I already
feel like shit for letting this happen to him. I don't need any extra
reminders."
"Is that all you have to say?"
"Yeah..." said Duo. "I think that sums it up."
"Then we have nothing left to say."
Trowa turned and left, floating back out.
"Shit... Why am I always the bad guy?" Duo asked sourly. He needed a
drink.

-------

Chapter 4

If the other two gundam pilots had any clue about what was going on, they
hid it well. Duo sighed as he leaned against the railing and stared at his
partner, his gundam.
He still felt like crap from his talk with Trowa. It didn't matter that it
had taken place nearly a week ago.
While it was nice to see that Quatre and Trowa were no longer treading on
eggshells around each other, he didn't think their private life had
improved.
"What are you looking so glum for?" asked Anna.
"Oh... Anna..." Duo snorted, "Just thinking..."
She smiled as she perched herself on the railing. "Something's been
bothering you..."
"Can't keep your nose outta my business can ya?" Duo asked in a resigned
voice.
She smiled. "Only because I worry for you."
"Did I do the right thing, back then?"
"I think you acted sensibly," she replied, resting a hand on his shoulder.
"I hope you don't expect your guests to be kidnapped and raped? I'll never
go to any parties you hold, if you think like that."
Duo stared at her and then started laughing. "I'm sorry... That just
sounded so... I dunno.."
"It was supposed to," she said, hopping back down from her perch on the
railing.
"Uh.. How are they doing?"
"Who's... Oh... Better I think... Speaking of which... I should see how
Quatre's doing."
"'kay... Talk to you later..."
She smiled, a trifle forced. "Cheer up. It not as if you're related to the
man who raped him."

The room was dark when she entered, "Quatre? You wanted to talk to me?"
"Oh... hullo Anna..." came the quiet response. She could make out a figure
sitting in the bed. He appeared to be dressed in his pajamas.
She floated over to the boy, turning the nightlight on so she wouldn't
kill herself stumbling about in the dark.
"Do you think I'm going too fast?"
She sat down on the edge of the bed, tilting his chin up so that he was
looking at her in the eye.  "What do you think?"
"I... I really want..."
"And you're sure it's not because you're feeling guilty?"
Quatre nodded, tears brimming in his eyes. "But... I'm scared."
"Fear is a normal thing... What's important is... Do you think you can
master it? Are you sure you're not going to regret this?"
"Yes... and I hope not."
 "Trowa is a nice boy. He'll wait until you're ready. You don't have to
push it."
"I..."
She smiled as understanding dawned on her, "It's because the final
confrontation is on the horizon, isn't it? You feel like you want to give
him something of yourself and you want something to remember him by if the
worst happens?"
That made sense, thought Quatre. "Yes..."
"If your heart has made up it's mind, there shouldn't be any problems,
Quatre." She rest a hand on his head, tousling it. "As long as you take
the intiative and give him cues to work by... things should go smoothly...
Well... One would hope... He'd never intentionally hurt you. If it turns
out you can't handle it yet, tell him. He'll understand."
Quatre nodded and smiled back. "Thank you, Anna..."
"I'll talk to you again tomorrow."
He nodded.
She stood up and floated back out. She passed Trowa in the corridor
outside.
"Here," said Trowa, tossing the disk back to her.
She caught it, and slipped it into her belt pouch. "Thanks."
Trowa continued on his path stopping before Quatre's door. 
"Trowa?" she called out.
He glanced in her direction questioningly.
"Let him take the initiative."
"...."
She smiled and continued on her way.

Quatre looked nervously up at Trowa as the other pilot came in.
"Did you just speak with Anna?"
Quatre nodded. "I've made up my mind... Trowa... I think... I'm ready."
Trowa stood there blinking, trying to digest Quatre's words. "You're
sure?"
"Trowa... the battle to end this is almost on us... I don't think I could
go on if...if you..." he couldn't finish the sentence.
Trowa smiled as he activated the privacy lock on the door. "I know... I
feel the same way."
Quatre gulped and said. "Will you please spend the night with me, then?"
"If you do so desire," whispered Trowa.
Quatre slowly slipped out of his shirt, aware that Trowa was doing the
same. Of a moment he wondered if this was the wisest thing to do. 
<< I want something to remember him by... and for him to remember me by...
should... >> The thought was just too painful. << Just think about now...
>>
Quatre found he could admire Trowa's body, as the taller pilot slowly slid
off his jeans and sat down on the edge of the bed. His muscles rippled
with every graceful movement. For the first time in what seemed had been
an eternity, Quatre found himself truly wanting to touch someone.
Quatre made the first move as Trowa sat there pulling off his pants. 
The slender blond got on his knees and enfolded Trowa in an embrace and
began to kiss Trowa on the neck.
Quatre's breath felt warm against his flesh, and the feel of the other
boy's lips sliding down his neck almost like silk. Trowa closed his eyes
as he inhaled sharply. He had never had anyone this close to him... at
least willingly. It was nice, to not have an alcohol-laden mercenary
trying to cop a feel. This was someone who was in full control of their
senses and truly loved him.
"You're still sure you want to do this?" asked Trowa, his voice trembling
slightly as he turned to look at Quatre.
"Without a question," said Quatre, slowly pushing the surprised Trowa down
against the bed and kissing him.
<< Let Quatre take the lead.... Anna said... Is Quatre going to be on top?
>> wondered Trowa. << Hope he knows what he's doing... I don't... >>
Somehow his hands seemed to develop a mind of their own as they slowy ran
up and down Quatre's back. He wisely didn't trace the scars, instead
chosing to trace swirly patterns, round patterns... anything but straight
lines. He was surprised to feel something soft and wriggly teasing his
lips, running along his teeth. Quatre's tongue.
<< A french kiss? >> wondered the taller pilot. He parted his lips and was
awarded with a kiss of increasing passion. Enough to leave him nearly
breathless.
Quatre's hands slid down along Trowa's sides as his kisses worked their
way downwards. His tongue flicked lightly against Trowa's nipples. Trowa
breathing and pulse quickened. It felt all tingly, spreading a pleasant
warmth around his chest.
Like a kitten lapping at a bowl of milk, Quatre worked his way downwards,
until his hand rest against Trowa's groin and aroused member. Like a
shadow, the old fear threatened to send him on the verge of hysterics. He
would NOT not deny Trowa this.... Building up his courage, he placed his
mouth around the stiff member and began to slowly suck and lick.
Trowa let out a faint groan. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he
wondered if Quatre was fine? Hadn't the soldier forcefully come into
Quatre's mouth? He was afloat in a sea of new sensations.

It did help to be the one taking the lead. 
Quatre could tackle each new emotional hurdle as he felt ready. Really, it
didn't seem half as bad now that he was in control. It wasn't being rammed
forcefully down his throat. It wasn't covered with god knew what from the
backdoor. He doubted he'd be able to take swallowing....that still set him
on the verge of a panic attack.
"You don't have to swallow..." whispered Trowa.
The statement took a huge load off of Quatre's conscience.
"Quatre... Do you... uh... want me to..." Trowa found it harder to say
than he had thought.
"What is it Trowa?" asked Quatre, slowly sliding back up so he could hear
what Trowa was saying.
"Uh... Do- Would you like for me to suck... on your..." If he thought he
didn't have a single emotion left, this was severely testing his theory.
He was in too well control of himself to actually blush, but he couldn't
figure out why he suddenly felt so... embarassed? "I've... never tried it
before."
Quatre turned a bit red as he realised what Trowa was saying. "Is this
your first time then?" the blond boy whispered.
Quatre sensed Trowa nodding. Quatre felt curiously bittersweet. On one
hand he was thrilled to hear that he would be Trowa's first... 
<< But... Trowa isn't my first... >> A tear made its way down his cheeks.
Trowa brushed it away as he asked, "Did I say something wrong?"
The other pilot's arms wrapping gently around Quatre.
"No... no... I'm crying because I'm happy..."
"Happy?"
"Happy," answered Quatre as he smiled and kissed Trowa on the lips. << All
that matters is that you love me... >>

Trowa's eyes widened. << Oh my... What is he doing? >>
"Are you sure... you want to do that?" asked Trowa trying sound concerned
for Quatre. Sure it felt really good... but... licking his butthole? Had
Quatre lost his grip on sanity?
"Does it feel good?" Quatre asked pausing.
"Well... yes..."
"Good." Quatre resumed bathing Trowa's nether regions.
Trowa was suddenly struck with the memory of those mercenaries that used
to feel him up. << Would I have had to... >> Trowa gulped, feeling
grateful for whatever throw of the dice had allowed him to remain a
virgin. << Some of those guys didn't wash for weeks on end... >>
"Turn over and get on your knees," whispered Quatre as he picked up a
small bottle from the nightstand.
Trowa wondered what was up, as he did so. He felt kinda... weird laying
there with his butt sticking up in the air. Trowa stifled the urge to
squirm as  Quatre slowly slathered the cold lotion against the taller
pilot's ass.
"What's that for?"
"It's so... I don't accidentally hurt you..."
"Hurt?"
"Yeah..." Quatre gulped audibly. "It really hurts... if you ram it in
dry..."
Trowa decided he shouldn't have asked that question. "Sorry to remind
you..."
"It's okay.... honestly," said Quatre. Trowa felt something push against
his butthole. "Tell me if it begins to hurt..."
<< Quatre isn't that big... >> Trowa's eyes widened. << Guess... it just
feels larger... than it actually is... >> And it did hurt... a little bit.
At least at first.
Quatre closed his eyes, slowly moving in and out of Trowa, his body fully
in tune with Trowa's. When that magical moment came, there was no doubt in
Quatre's mind that come what may, he would neither forget nor regret this
night.

---------------

Chapter 5

Anna winced as she finished zipping up the space suit. Her wrist throbbed
in beat with her pulse. She had been in one of the worst possible areas
the time the Peacemillion rammed the Libra. Grabbing medical supplies from
one of the holds.
The impact sent her flying straight into the corner of one of the crates
and knocked her into uncounsciousness. She had come to with a sizeable
headache, bruises and a broken wrist.
The shuttles on the Peacemillion had been launched. 
So she had no recourse but to work her way towards the Libra. And pray she
wouldn't be noticed.
She'd taken the time to exchange her astrosuit for one of the ones in an
abandoned room. It would attract less attention if she were dressed as one
of them. But be damned if she could properly latch her helmet closed. Not
that anyone would notice a strange face in this chaos.
She made her way slowly to the computer terminal tapping out a quick
query. There were still usable pods here. A voice crackling over the
headset caught her attention.
"We're preparing to evacuate. Everyone within range of this audio... head
towards E-13, and round up any stragglers that you can find. The Mobile
Doll operating system has been deactivated."
<< That voice... What is Nathan doing here? >> She tightened her grip on
her gun.  Was he somewhere nearby?
She caught sight of two dark suited figures in the corridor ahead. "Trowa!
Quatre!" she called out.

The two gundam pilots looked up in surprise.
"Anna... What are you doing here?" asked Quatre. He looked as if he was in
pain, holding his side.
"Looking for a shuttle," she said wryly. "Got knocked out when the
Peacemillion rammed the Libra... You're hurt Quatre..."
"I'll be fine."

The three floated along cautiously. She was the one to go ahead, as she
was dressed like the enemy. Motioning the two to follow when the coast was
clear.
"My mobile suit's that way," said Trowa.
"Mine is... somewhere that way," said Quatre. He was deathly pale.
"Trowa... get to your MS... I'll get Quatre over to his suit and find an
escape pod."
Trowa nodded. 
They split up.

"Nathan's on this ship," cautioned Anna when Trowa was out of earshot. "I
just heard his voice over the comm."
"You're sure?" asked Quatre. Fear was in his eyes.
"It's kinda hard to mistake his whiny voice," she replied. "I didn't want
to tell Trowa that he was here."
Quatre nodded. "Let's get going... we can look for him when we round up
the White Fangs.."
"My sentiments exactly... Just up ahead...."
They came out to the hangar. They weren't alone.
"Well well... if this don't paint a pretty picture. It's my cousin... and
who do you have with you?"
Anna raised her gun to shoot. "I wouldn't do that, m'dear... Drop it."
She did as she was told as the former OZ soldier walked up. "You're still
caring for that pretty boy.... Is he your sugar daddy? Or rather sugar
baby? And I thought I was the only one who liked them soft and young..."
Anna felt cold rage bubble from within her. How DARE he suggest that she
was like him.
She let go of Quatre and pushed forward. She was much used to living in
space than he would be. She'd spent most of her formative years in the
colonies.
She was faster than he'd expected and the two of them went tumbling over
the railing and towards the center of the hangar. Not before a shot rang
out.
Anna couldn't breathe. Her entire chest was on fire. She dangled on the
precipice of eternal darkness.
Nathan kicked her away from him, sending both of them tumbling off in
different directions. Nathan then pointed the gun towards Quatre. 
<< I'll make both of you suffer... >> 
He screamed in frustration as he wouldn't stop tumbling. He couldn't hit
that pretty boy like this! Why did the stupid bitch have to make his life
so miserable?
He fired his maneuvering jets. There... the rolling motion had slowed.. <<
Just a little more and I can- >> 
He never finished his thought.

Trowa had had a bad feeling and doubled back to check on Anna and Quatre.
He picked up his pace when he heard the shot. Something had gone very
wrong. He pulled out his gun. He saw two figures tumbling in the center of
the hangar. One had a gun pointed at them.
Quatre had a gun in his hand, trying to aim at the helmeted figure. The
boy was shaking hard. Frightened.
Trowa didn't hesitate. He aimed and shot.
Quatre whirled around, his eyes wide. "T...Trowa...."
"Are you all right?" asked Trowa.
"Anna..." said Quatre. "Anna's been hurt."

Trowa floated over to the inert body. She'd been shot in the chest. He
brought her back up to where Quatre leaned.
Quatre gulped. If only he hadn't been injured....
Anna stirred, everything hurt. Someone was calling her name
<< Quatre... >> She opened her eyes.
"Anna..."
She swallowed. Breathing hurt. Everything hurt.
"Nathan...?"
"Don't talk," said Quatre.
"He's dead," said Trowa flatly.
She nodded. Coughing hurt even more, as flecks of blood floated before
her. She felt so cold. Everything was getting harder to focus on.
"My necklace..." she whispered fumbling for the chain around her neck.
"Give it... to Duo."
"You can give it to him," said Quatre.
She shook her head. "God... bless you all... Merry.. early Christmas and
may Santa Clause bring peace-" She never finished her sentence. Her eyes
opened sightlessly and a small smile formed on her face.
Trowa closed her eye, and reached for the pendant, unclasping it
carefully. He stowed it in a pouch. Quatre wanted to cry but he couldn't.
He was numb.
"We need to go," said Trowa. "We still have to finish this."
Quatre nodded. They had a mission to finish.

--------

Epilogue

As they toasted to peace, Trowa remembered something.
"I just remembered..." he fished into his pocket, pulling out the pendant.
"Anna wanted you to have this."
Duo's expression went white and he let go of the glass. "She's... dead?"
He glanced wildly between Quatre and Trowa. Trowa slipped the golden
pendant into Duo's hand.
"She distracted Nathan," said Quatre. "She took the shot meant for me...
I'm sorry, Duo..."
"You're... kidding right?"
Trowa shook his head.
"Did... she say anything?"
"God bless you all. Merry early Christmas and may Santa Clause bring
peace-"
"Figures..." Duo wiped his eyes, "Damn there must be dust in here..." 
He grinned, it was forced.
"What's an early Christmas?" asked Trowa. "And who's Santa Clause?"
"It's an old earth holiday that occured on December 25th of the old
calendar, anno domini. It's got two... meanings. It was supposedly the
celebration of the birth of the Saviour of the Christian faith... Jesus
Christ.... who died for the sins of mankind." Duo paused swallowing. "It
eventually became a celebration where this jolly old fat guy, Santa
Clause, would give presents to all the good people and leave coals for the
bad."
Quatre looked thoughtful as did Trowa. 
Quatre smiled. "Fitting... The greatest gift... peace and the end of
war..."
Duo stood up and dropped the pendant into Quatre's empty glass. "I want
you to have it... I've already gotten one from her." He rubbed at his eyes
with the back of his hand. "Damned dust... I need to go wash my eyes
out..."
Quatre and Trowa watched the long-haired boy depart. 
Trowa picked up the pendant and put it around Quatre's neck. It warmed
quickly against Quatre's flesh. He could feel a comforting presence near
him, urging him to smile.  He closed his eyes, listening.
<< Be merry... >> It seemed to say. << No tears. Be happy with Trowa....
Celebrate your love on this momentus day. >>
"Merry Christmas," said Quatre opening his eyes and taking hold of Trowa's
hand and pulling him towards him. 
"Merry Christmas," replied Trowa, kissing the blond haired boy.
<< That's right... It doesn't matter what happens... As long as you love
me... >>

-=========================================================================-
Odin:   What are you looking at? The hated universe that robbed you 
        of everything? Or you who have no identity? 
Jr:     Why have we come to this colony?
Odin:   To abandon you.....

Odin Lowe and Odin Lowe Jr (aka Heero Yuy) - Endless Waltz Novel pt.1
-=========================================================================-