Benjamin Tyree III b.k.a. Shinji Ikari The 10 o'Clock Assassin Terror-Dack-Chill/Mobile Otaku Band/Davis Anime Club tyree3@pacbell.net LEMON WARNING: This piece of work contains nudity, violence, harsh language, and mainly adult situations. Viewer discretion is advised. All characters within this fanficion are 18 years and older. AUTHOR'S RAMBLINGS: It's that time again. 10 o'Clock's New Year Resolution is to re-invent the word "Player." As in player of cool 2D video games, player of MIDI songs, portable CD players, playing "daddy" with my nephews and niece, pay to play with the ladies, and most importantly "QUIT PLAYING AROUND." I've read a bunch of Eva fanfics. Some are good, some are thought-provoking, and there are some where the authors (as I quote the great Al-I-Bus) just need to be shot. Big Ups to those who'd made "The Kensuke Cronicles," the Eva crossover with Captain Tylor, Al-I-Bus again, buddies Godel and Garde for letting us bunk with them, and everyone else who likes a bit of comedy and hip-hop with their lemon citrus. I've just saw two SMASHING series: Mahou Tsukai Tai (Wizard's Gathering) and Shin Tenchi Muyo (Wu-Tenchi Clan f/ Sakuya). MT2 has Mizuha Miyama, the high school "Queen of Fucking Everything" manga club leader who has the breasts to supply Ethiopia with milk for a month! And Tenchi gets a new babe. Now, you know something's going to happen. Tenchi's got so many ladies in his book that someone's going to do a fanfic where Tenchi's a pimp making money off his lady-friends! Expect these two hard-hitting heavyweights to be included in my next King Neon Successor Reports very soon. Finally, episode 24 of Eva has been bothering me for quite some time. I truly love the characters of Eva but I H-A-T-E the plot. I'm going to get the End of Eva this week. And if I see what I'm lead to believe, then I'm doing a fanfic about the last part of this character-driven, yet shitty, story. Having said my piece, on with the story... * * * * * * * * * * Autumn rolls along with a vengence. But the AmeX ChaFT keeps rolling along. The fighting gets tougher and more strenuous, but everyone toughs it out like the trained combatants they are. Entering from the left side of the Sacramento City College Hughes Statium is the Yagami Team: Shinji Ikari (combination Kyo Kusanage/Goenitz), Yui Hongo (Mature), and Miaka Yuki (Shermie), ready to fight their next opponents. Yakumo: Alright! 1-2-1-2... This IS the Anime Mega-Crossover Championship Fighting Tournament of 2020! I AM your host, Yakumo Fuuji reprezentin' "3X3 Eyes!" I got Sanson of "Nadia/Secret of Blue Water" by my side...! Sanson: Right! Yakumo: ...And we're here in Sacramento-3 bringing you the ultimate in hand-to-hand combat! It is my pleasure! My treat! My soul honor! To introduce to you the group that needs no introduction! Of course they don't need an introduction! Or else you wouldn't be reading this fanfic! Ladies and Gents! And everything in between! To my utmost left of us is... The Yagami Team! Featuring Shinji Ikari! AKA The 10 o'Clock Assassin! AKA The 3rd Poltergeist! AKA Killah Windz! AKA Tommy Skimask! Shinji: Huh?! Yakumo: AKA Duck Quackinbush! Shinji: The fuck?! Yakumo: AKA Jack Me-off...! Shinji: Hey, somebody get that jerk to SHUT UP!! Sanson: (Shoots at him with his gun, causing Yakumo to fly from his chair and onto the floor.) Pai: YAA-KUUU-MOOOOO!! Yakumo: AKA Dr. "Musn't Run Away" of James Bond fame! Yui: Still going... Shinji: SON OF A BITCH!! Yakumo: AKA O.J. Kisharagi...! Shinji: SECURITY!! RELEASE THE HOUNDS!! (German Shepards are released at Yakumo, but they soon backed off and wimpered when they sence the "sign of the void" on his forehead.) Yakumo: AKA Heatbringah...! Shinji: Fuck That! ASUKA! GET THIS FOOL OFF THE STAGE!! Asuka: You don't have to tell me twice! (She pilots her Eva-02 and sends a sharp knife-hand to Yakumo, cutting him in several places at once. The scene grosses out everyone within eye-sight.) There! That'll do it! Yakumo: AKA Soldier Uranus! Asuka: WHAT THE HELL??!! Yakumo: AKA Adam Sandler! "You Piece Of Car...!" Shinji: Damn... TASUKI!! BURN EM!! Tasuki: LEKKA... SHIEN!!! (Tries to burn him down, but he keeps going.) This guy's frankin' IMPOSSIBLE!! Yakumo: AKA Uzi Uzbeck! AKA... Shinji: Hey, Fuuji! FUUJI!! Yakumo: Huh?! WHAT??!! Shinji: We're in page 3 now! Please SHUT UP!! Yakumo: But I thought you wanted to change your alias? Shinji: That, my friend, was a BAD idea! * * * * * * * * * * KING NEON SUCCESSOR REPORT! (OUSHIN SENKAN HAKUSHO!) _|_ - / - / _|__ - / _|__ - / /\ /__ - /_ | /| === -/ / | / / / | / / \ / / -/ _| | _| / / |__ / / _| / / \ / / _| O Assignment 6: Italian Or Chinese? (Lionfish Hornet Ladies) * * * * * * * * * * Sanson: Yui Hongo Versus Keisuke Monomaru! Round 1! Ready... FIGHT!! The battle is on, and this does not turn out to be a slapping contest. Expert Magatama Mistress of Love has met her match. And he's San Franciscan Wu-Shu master Keisuke Monomaru (read Gen of Street Fighter Alpha, 20 years old!). Millions of eyes are glaring in amazement at the fight taking place. Of the millions of eyes are a pair of green, sultry snake eyes utilizing a small pair of classy binoculars. Also of the millions of eyes are a pair of light-brown evil eyes. Meanwhile, after the battle between the Yagami team and the Chinese team, Shinji Ikari is laying on the bench in the locker room. His energy zapped out of him and his face and body covered with sweat. Gai Daigouji and Lucky Grover walk through the entrance and find him there. Gai: Salutations, Shinji! How does it feel to fight those who have the true power?! Shinji: I can't believe it. These guys knew their stuff. They gave me a run for our money. Miaka couldn't even touch the other guy, the one on skates. Mikado Sanzenin was his name, right. Lucky: Man, those guys kicked your ass, treated you like trash, showed you pizazz, and made you suffer from succotash! Shinji: It totally sucks. Maybe you guys will be better off than I am. Lucky: No such luck, fool. Gai: Keisuke Monomaru, the true warrior of Wu-Shu. Mikado Sanzenin, the rollor-skating womanizer. And Aya Saiko, the mistress of the large ink pen. Our teams have been defeated by their superior techniques of the martial arts. We were beaten within an inch of our lives by those... Lucky: Yo, shut up, man! Just say that our asses got kicked! Aight! *Flashback A Month Beforehand* Natsumi: I'm being transferred to the San Francisco Police Department, and it's permanent. I guess I'll be leaving you guys. It was fun while it lasted, though. Hopefully we'll each find partners who are as good in sex as we are with each other. *Most Recent Flashbacks During The Two Weeks* Lucky: Yeah, I finally got it on with that rhythm gymnastics chick, Kumi Okubo. Damn! She got them legs that go up from here to New York! But she's one of them shy girls. So, I'm gonna keep it on the down-low and wait till she makes her move. Gai: I met this beautiful woman at the Geki-Gan-Con. Her name was Hikaru Amano. She is such an expert in art and creating new versions of Gekiganger. My only thought in my mind is that I had to get together with this lady! So I did. We turned out beautifully together. And we plan to marry in a month. Shinji: In the original King Neon Successor fanfic, I made a wish to make love to beautiful women. But I haven't been successful in striking a relationship with any of them. They were either too big, too drunk, too old, or had too much of a crush on someone else. I guess, if I wanted to start a loving relationship, then maybe I'll have to find someone who's not so beautiful. Or maybe I'll have to dig in the "lower expectations" crate for someone to love... *End Flashbacks* Shinji leaves the men's locker room to head for home. Upon walking down the hallway he almost runs into this ravishing auburn-haired, green eyed women wearing satin-white business dress and showing off enough cleavage to hold water. Grandis: Good evening, my dear Ikari. My name is Grandis Granva and I had came to see you fight. Shinji: Hey. I've heard about you. You're the expert jewel crafter and wife of now deceased Graten Granva. That was, like, your fourth time you've been widowed? Grandis: ^_^: Look, kid. I didn't come to you to be reminded of my past. I came because I wanted to know more about your powers. Your amount of chi is amasing for a young man like yourself. Shinji: Well, it's nothing. Really. I saw someone use that power, I came to him and asked if I could learn that power, he agreed, and it was all downhill from here. Grandis: I would like you to come with me, Mr. Ikari. ???: (From out of the shadows of the hallway.) NOT SO FAST!! Shinji: Huh?! Grandis: Oh no! Not you again!! From out of the shadows appeared a seductively strong chinese woman wearing a slightly revealing chinese martial arts get-up. Her black hair's running down to her back, her ears pointing out of her hair like Spock, and her devilishly evil brown eyes staring like a hawk toward its prey. LingLing: I am Lee Ling Ling from Interpol. I've been keeping an eye on this woman for three years. And I believe that the deaths of her past partners weren't accidents! Grandis: Look, you feeble-minded peasant! We've been through court with this. I've been proven innocent within the court of law! Why don't you just live with it! LingLing: Cause I know your type. You are deceitful, sneeky, and your look has such a personification of evil that if I look "evil" up in the dictionary it would have a picture of you! Grandis: And what about you! You do not look so hot yourself! You claim to be protecting the world from crime, but you are actually interested in the boost up the corporate ladder so you can get paid more! Shinji: (Finally speaking up.) Well, maybe you ladies are BOTH evil! LingLing: SHUT UP!! Grandis: What do you know about being evil?! Shinji: LARA CROFT!! (Both women shuddered in fear at the sound of her name.) Grandis: Lara Croft... BRRRR!! That woman had ran a chill down my spine! LingLing: I don't think anybody can be as evil as Lara Croft! Shinji: Okay. You wanted to come with you, Ms. Granva? Grandis: Yes I do. And just call me Grandis, my sweet boy. Shinji: But you have a disagreement with that. Right, Ms. Ling Ling? LingLing: Well, I just wanted to keep an eye on her. Just to make sure that you're not being kidnapped. Your father is a powerful man. Shinji: Then, let's go. * * * * * * * * * * _|_ - / - / _|__ - / _|__ - / /\ /__ - /_ | /| === -/ / | / / / | / / \ / / -/ _| | _| / / |__ / / _| / / \ / / _| O KING NEON SUCCESSOR REPORT! All Over Girls ("Look At Her" Instead Of "Look At Those") * * * * * * * * * * That evening, Grandis takes Shinji and Ling Ling to her overly luxurious Folsom mansion. At it's front the fountain water's shining with the reflection of the kaleidoscopic guardlights. She takes the two through the door and through her large, brilliantly shining livingroom (which is the size of a ballroom). Chef: (In Italian accent.) Dinner is about ready, madame. LingLing: (Staring over at Grandis with evil eyes.) [I swear, it's lifestyles like this that'll make a grown person hurl.] Shinji: Ms. Grandis. What are we having for dinner? The answer to his question is right on the table in the dining room: Spagetti and pasta sause with real crab meat, barbequed steak flavored with pineapples, tossed bacon salad, and raspberry cocktail champagne. About thirty minutes into the night later... LingLing: Boy, I'm stuffed. BURP! Excuse me... Shinji: Thank you very much. But, why did you want to see me? Grandis: It is simple, really. I have heard about you since two years back. About your sexual excapades with several women. I was wondering how can this be. You do not look very attractive. Then again, I have dated the top 10 most handsome men in the world and I have not been satisfied to my fullest. LingLing: So, you're saying that you wanna have sex with him. Right? Grandis: I want him as my personal male prostitute. LingLing: You're kidding, right? Shinji: Male... Prostitute?? Grandis: I just happen to pay handsomely if I am treated the right way. Shinji: No thanks. Grandis: What? Are you refusing me? Shinji: I've been doing this for a long period of time. And I don't seem to be happy with it. See, it's just a silly wish I made: I wanted to have sex with beautiful women and fulfill my sick, perverted dreams. Grandis: Of course... (Does her seductive supermodel stance.) Who can fulfill your your sick and perverted dreams better than someone who is as beautiful and elegant as me? (Ling Ling's nearby having a headache.) Shinji: The problem for me is that I'd never make any real girlfriends. I'm unable to create a good relationship from good sex. LingLing: OF COURSE NOT, SILLY!! It's the other way around! Shinji: I'm just so depressed that I don't know what to do. Grandis comes up to him, with a comforting, yet smug, look on her face. Grandis: I feel sorry for you, my dear Shinji. (Grabs his head and shoves him to the direction of her cleavage.) But in the end, woman and man do want the same exact things; to be loved by one another, to feel the flesh of one another, and to be one. Shinji: Ms. Grandis... (A bulge is rising from his pants crotch, which Grandis is massaging right now.) Grandis: What is wrong? Do you want to feel good? Shinji: Yes I do. But... (Glances over to Ling Ling.) I wanna feel Ling Ling as well. LingLing: HUH??!! Oooohh no! Mindless fucking's not for me! I have people that look up to me. Grandis: Hmmph! It is just another way of saying that you are jealous of my beauty. LingLing: Alright, Ms Grandis Granva! YOU'RE ON!! We'll see who's the most beautiful! Shinji: [Here we go again...] Into Grandis' bedroom, with the red and pink queen-size bed and mirrored ceiling. Grandis: (Removing her clothes to reveal her scarlet-red frilly undergarments and hosiery.) And here we go. [Smooth Italian accordian music theme is being played.] Shinji lingeringly removes her undergarments and proceeds to feel her smooth pink body. He then takes his tongue and licks around her firm breasts. He travels along down her stomach and goes in between her legs. Shinji licks his tongue about the opening of her pussy and then proceeds to stick it into her opening, causing her to moan softly and produce some wetness. He taste some of the lovejuice. Shinji: You taste nice, Ms. Grandis. Grandis: Of course, you should always expect upper-class women to uphold vaginal hygiene, my dear sweet Shinji. Shinji then pulls a condom out of his pants pocket whilst pulling his pants down. He rolls it on his now incredible member. He gives Grandis a deep kiss in the mouth, letting his tongue wet-wrestle with hers for a bit. Then he slowly stuffs his meat into her warm, wet pussy. Shinji starts to hump her at a constant pace, riding her like a stallion as she "Oohhh"ed and "Aaaahh"ed and cooed his name. He buried his face into Grandis' chest for some more of her mammeries. And after a while she gave off a deep, echoing bellow as she orgasmed powerfully on his dick. Shinji then took out his cock, removed the condom, and brung it near her breasts. He jacked himself off until he "NNGH"ed and errupted his love lava all over her firm breasts. Some of it got on her face, too. Grandis: (A look of disgust on her face.) Milk and cream, Shinji...? LingLing: (Removing her chinese wardrobe to reveal a blue sports bra and matching panties.) Ready for Round Two? [Seduvtive Cantonese music theme is being played.] Shinji gives Ling Ling a deep kiss in the mouth, pitting his tongue skill with her's; finding out that she plays a little rough. His hands move around her body to feel her smooth, yet slightly brown-yellowish skin. One of his hands make it to her crotch area and feels around. LingLing: (Sounding enticing.) Don't be so suttle, Shin-Shin. Play with me; play with my clit. Sex is a contact sport. Shinji pulls her panties down to her ankle and starts rubbing her clitorus, causing her to moan loudly. He rubs on it more quickly, causing her to moan even louder. Then she grabs his hand so he can stop. And they proceed to kiss again lovingly in the mouth. Ling Ling rolls him onto the bed, with her on top, and rolls another condom onto his revitalized soldier. With that, she positions the head of his cock along her slit and, with tremendous force, shoves it into her moist pussy. She moves her hips up and down with the skills of a martial artist, moaning loudly as she rode on his cock. Shinji believed that she was so great, slamming herself onto him with her firm breasts flopping about. She's SO TIGHT, tighter than Grandis. But he had to hold on until she came. Shinji: Ling Ling...! I can't...! I'm gonna... That was her cue. She removed herself from on top of him, then whirled around so her pussy was in his face. Then she ripped the condom off and placed the head of his cock into her waiting mouth. Shinji nearly screamed as he errupted again and flooded Ling Ling's mouth with his lava. He nearly screamed again as she swallowed his liquid manhood down her throat and somehow sucked the rest of it from out of his balls like a straw. Grandis: Ewww! That is so gross! LingLing: What? And putting yours in his mouth isn't? Ling Ling then turned herself around so her nice butt was laying on Shinji's chest. She jerked herself off, causing her to orgasm robustly. And her fluid spews out of her pussy and onto Shinji's face. Lost in the sexual rapture, he brings her butt nearer to his face and starts doing the clean-up route with his tongue. Grandis: Oh, that is just too gross... LingLing: So, Shin-Shin. Who's the winner? Shinji: I don't know if I can decide. Grandis is so clean and pure, so picturesque, and yet so powerful. You're so full of positive energy, so athletic. And that tightness is a plus, too. Grandis: And let us not forget, I let you cum on my ample chest. LingLing: And I swallowed your cum! Grandis: That is so disgusting. LingLing: What did you say?! Both ladies are sharing a look of anger as a spark of energy zaps between them. Shinji is doing his best to make some distance. Grandis: All right, Ling Ling! You wish for a real challenge? Then I will see you with it! (Goes to her box of "toys" in her large closet and pulls out the "Big-Un" double dildo.) LingLing: (A look of shock on her face, but is undaunted.) Okay, let's get it on, sister! Ling Ling and Grandis soon stradle themselves so that their legs are between each other. They both start stuffing the big dildo into each other's pussies. They moan in pain due to the sheer size but try to stifle it so not to fill each other's egos. Their pussies soon meed the midpoint. Grandis: I shall not give you any shame...! If you admit your defeat now...! LingLing: You're not even gonna get a sign of prostration from me, lady! With that said, the ladies start moving their hips against each other, trying their hardest to make each other get off the fastest. Nearby, Shinji's already lost it. He's jerking himself off and about ready to blow. The loud moans Grandis and Ling Ling are producing is driving him nuts. But then he starts to realize how Grandis is getting more rough language-wise and how Ling Ling is getting more sensual with her sounds. The lesbian sex gets more intence, with the ladies both at the verge of falling off. They both trade the last look of anger at each other before simultaneously exploding at their sexual peak. The carpet is now flushed with pussy juice as the two ladies lay there with little energy left. Shinji finally goes off and happily explodes for the third time. His cum flies from the tip and onto both of the ladies' breasts. Grandis: (With an angry look on her face.) Typical male chauvenism: They wish for the best of both worlds! LingLing: (Gets up to see the mess made on herself and Grandis.) You know, Grandis. His come looks better on you than you might think. Grandis: Really? And I must say, you sex pretty good for an officer of the law. LingLing: Why, thank you. Shinji: [Oh, brother...] Scene changes to the Gai/Lucky/Shinji apartment home. In Shinji's drawer is his Multi-DAT player which has seldom been used since the Enavan Degesilicoon fanfic. Shinji: [Will I ever be able to get a real relationship?] End of Assignment 6 * * * * * * * * * * Characters from: Belong to: Neon Genesis Evangelion Gainax Nadia of the Mysterious Seas Gainax/NHK 3 X 3 Eyes Kodansha/Plex/Starchild Aya Saiko can be found in Sokko Seitokai (Sonic Council) for the Sega Saturn. [Banpresto, Gamest] Kumi Okubo can be found in Asuka 120% Limited Burning Festival, also for the Sega Saturn. [ASK Kodansha, Fill-In Cafe] Keisuke Monomaru is a character I made up in my Ranma 1/2 'Anti-Fic,' "Undefeatable." Give me some time, and it will be available through e-mail in zip file. Lara Croft of Tomb Raider is by Eidos and Playstation. I think she's evil because she's a 3D mess. The creators of that game had spent too much time in a virtual "Hooters" on the internet somewhere. All other characters belong to their respective owners and companies. * * * * * * * * * * Assignment 7 Preview YuiI: Shinji-kun, Shinji-kun, Shinji-kun, Shinji-kun, Shinji-kun, Shinji-kun! You've been screwing around and you still hadn't found a girlfriend yet?! You better do something about this! You can't be young forever, you know! Shinji: Yeeeesss, mooooom! Joe: Mizuha-sempai, Mizuha-sempai, Mizuha-sempai, Mizuha-sempai, Mizuha-sempai, Mizuha-sempai! That Ikari person is challenging you up front! What are you going to do?! Mizuha: (Emits this disturbingly horrid laugh that would give Nahga The Serpent a run for her money.) So, this guy named Ikari wants to challenge me? Well, certainly. Let's see what he has for me. Gai: It's the "Clash of the Titans!" The elements of wind versus the elements of water! And the fight will take place near the sea of LCL! Lucky: Check it out, people! This might possibly be the last report until the author can recover from the "End of Eva," or if there are more sexy girls to do lemons about! Whichever comes first, be sure to stay tuned! Natsumi: Saishu! Oushin Senkan Hakusho! "The Water Blade!" Witness as the forces of comedy and sex clash for the last time.