http://members.tripod.com/blackmag66/Index.htm


Have to get around reformating myself someday.
    

A Little Something For Those Cold, 
Lonely Nights

A Gold Digger/Tomb Raider crossover
By Oni

pt. 1

As a cat, it was only natural for Brittany Diggers to love to climb.
While cheetahs were better known for their speed, the big, hard bodied
lycanthrobe nevertheless enjoyed the activity. A good rocky mountain
side to sink her claws into and surmount. But more than the climb, the
shapely werecat loved the post-recovery rubdown by her hunky boyfriend. 

But not only was he half a world away, but the weather was far removed
from the warmth of her preferred mountain type. This climb was actually
a trail, she might actually need a message from Stripe but wouldn't be
able to use it as an excuse by the time she got back.    

And then there was the problem with her cargo...

"Gina, dear heart," The werecheetah swathed in arctic gear save feet and
hands asked sweetly of her likewise fully attired sister, "could you
please...let go of my tail?" 

The intrepid explorer in question was currently harnessed to her sizable
sibling like a papoose. Reacting as a domestic kitten stuck up a tree.
Use to her teleporting lightgate and fleet of Gina-mobiles, to say that
she found the idea of being up the sheer cliff of a Himalayan mountain
thousands of feet from the ground with only the grip of her sister
keeping them both alive an unsavory one was to say nothing. 

Arms and legs free in the rig, the young comely blonde had her lush
long, and currently hidden under wool, legs folded in as she trembled.
Her mittened hands not only had a tight grip on Brittany's long orange
and spotted black tipped tail, but the recently discovered acrophobic
was wringing it for all it was worth. Brittany gave a tired sign that
turned to an icy breath in the cold air.   

"Sis, you really have no idea how annoying that is…" Brittany pleaded on
as she only heard Gina's fearful mumble. A cruel thought came to her
that she was only too reluctant not to use. 

"You know, if you keep that up, there's a good chance I could lose my
balance. I mean, sure that great, big looong drop would hurt like hell
for me, but I'd recover in no time. <sigh> Boy…for you it would be jam
cit—"

Her tail was free. Gina gave a shivering groan.     

"Gina, I'm sorry about that. Just say the word, and we'll got back down
nice and slow. We aren't that far up…really."

"N-n-no, I'm…I'm alright. Just keep…keep going. Please?" Brittany gave
yet another sigh. 

It was Her the werecheetah thought as she started to move again. Gina
always went a little crazy at the mention of the woman's name. Could be
goaded into the dumbest of stunts because of her inane, pointless
obsession. But this time it was far more than being one-upped for some
stupid award or some recognition by their peers. This time they were
direct rivals.  

Somewhere above them on a craggy gap if the maps were right, were the
remains of an ancient Tibetan library. Lost untolded ages as they often
are, this one supposedly held records of bygone civilizations, was a
literal travel bureau from everything from Atlantis to Zanadu. The
archeologist who found it would be more than a name or a legend…the
whole field of study would be renamed after them!

No one had had the slightest idea of where the place was untill a
mountain hermit came down into the modern world and fell in love with
it's wonders. Supposedly centuries old, he met his end at an all you can
eat Taco stand but not before putting up a web page containing all his
wisdom. In the insuing hacker battle, much of the information was
deleted or altered save for a few key items. Some pimply faced scrub in
New Jersey had altered the secret of life. It now had something to do
with getting Tyra Banks top off. 

What puzzle pieces that did remain, which weren't now link's to prono
sites, gave those like Brittany's brilliant sister the lead they needed
to find the rest of the trail. Amateurs and grave robbers had fallen
over themselves as well as got in the way of the pros till into the
homestretch, only the best remained. One time rival Penny had never
started, was backing up and protecting her current finds in the event
that once the intellectual bomb was found and dropped, her current based
and published findings did not become so much birdcage lining for
Charlotte…not that the harpy went that way Brittany thought guiltily to
herself. 

It was rumored that pain in the side Pee Wee and his reengineered thugs
were grounded…looks like mommy found the boy wonder checking something
out on the net he shouldn't have been…

That only left the Britain.         

Well known outside her field for her guns as well as the fact she could
get a lot into a pair of hotpants, She had managed to steal Gina's
thunder at every turn. Even when she was recuperating from her latest
jaunt, the release by a software company of a translation of the
adventure had left Gina alone in an auditorium with a discovery while
her colleges were lining around the block for the new game. The girl was
so mental now over the whole thing, sometimes she could tell when you
were just thinking about the other's name. 

Currently Gina was humming the theme to MST3K in discord on Brittany's
back as she climbed. Ever since TV's Frank and Dr. F left the show, the
girl only sang it when she was seriously bugging her sister thought.
This was not a good sign.  
 
Able to fit the Grand Canyon three times over, this valley crevasse was
as close to Everest as it could get and still be in the atmosphere. Not
even Ace could pilot through the high winds or navigate it's narrow
length. Only Brittany's speed and nimbleness had given her sister the
edge she needed to at last get the better of her academic nemesis. Now
she was letting something like a little mile-long drop get to her. She'd
be useless at this rate. 

"Gina," Brittany huffed as she made a handhold with a bare clawed hand.
Worried a bit about her ruined nails. "You wanna talk? How are you and
Ryan doing?"

"O-Okay. Okay I guess…Brittany…I really don't want to distract you."

"Hey. If my sis is stressin', then so am I. I know how important this is
to you."

"Not-Not just to me, but Stripe and his people…Atlantis as well."

"Uh?"

"B-Brit, think about it. If-If the known world gets a road map to all
the old civilizations. Finds out about a couple of alien races living in
it's backyard. It's either going to corral the lot, fight over them or
turn their cities into tourist spots. You wanna see an Epcot El
Delarado?"  
  
Brittany stopped. Spared a glance over her shoulder. "I really didn't
think about that." Not griping that she was little more than a pack mule
in her sister's dumb feud she thought to herself. "My mind was on my
share of the talkshow and book deals…(not to mention the Playboy and
muscle mag shot offers that would come rolling in). But what were you
gonna do about it?"

"The records are very old… Chances are they're not intact much less
whole." Gina insinuated. 

"Whoa! You mean you'd lose parts of a major find! You?!" 

"I wasn't thinking of filing any of this. We can't."

"But-But Gina…I thought you were doing all this to get back at…you
know…Her…"          

"Brittany, this is for our friends. This may be my one chance to
outshine Croft…but the price to do it is just too great."

"Gina…you said her name…"

"Yeah…I guess I did. Suppose all that really matters is that I prove it
to myself that I'm better than her …"

Brittany climbed a bit more. Paused long enough to say, "Sis…I'm proud
of you."

"Thanks…that means a lot too…"

After a few minutes of silent climbing, Brittany heard,
"BeMmm…mM…mMm-la-la……Try…to…mMMm his
san-i-ty…with…help…of…ro-bot…friENnds…

"RoBoT RoLl-calL!?!"

"Here…" the werecheetah offered raising her tail to her back. 

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Just remember—I'd like it back!" 

Brittany gained a few more feet then sang aloud, "—Cambot!!"

"Gypsy!!" her sister shot back. 

"Tom Servo!!"

Both as one, "Crrrooooww!!"

As the climb progressed with controlled fear from one of their number,
the two sister's continued ballads of castaways, a certain sex-changing
martial artists and a revamped gunslinger's tale echoed happily about
the mountain…  

******

"ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU
ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU!!!!!" Gina Diggers told the flat snow covered ground
of the plateau well away from it's edge. The girl hugged a small boulder
for further comfort as her sister hauled up their equipment that had
been tethered to her by a nylon cord at her waist. The ruin of a temple
was about twenty meters or so before them set into the mountainside and
Brittany couldn't help but smile as Gina. They had done it. They were
the first ones up.

"Oh what a wonderful duet chaps," said an eloquent, refined feminine
voice.

Both Brittany and Gina froze. Defeat showed on their faces as the
comment echoed.
 
"Have you two though about going professional? I hear the Spice Girls
have a few spots open?" a figure strode over a snow bank with the mouth
of a small cave in the background.

It walked like a young Clint Eastwood would…If Clint Eastwood had been
brought up in a high-priced English girl's finishing school that spliced
grace and femininity into ones DNA. Fit said school's most basic
requirement and had gotten high marks for doing so. 

Laura Croft walked up coiling climbing rope unaware of her sensual
stride wearing a chest bloated parka jacket and near painted on nylon
snow pants over her never-ending legs. A smile on rich, full deep
crimson lips, she slung the cord over a shoulder while her free hand
came to rest almost causally by one of her legendary automatics that
rode her sexy curvy side. 

"Doctor Diggers and her folicly challenged sister Cheetah, how nice to
at last meet you face to face to face." She beamed from under circular
smoke colored shades as her trademark auburn ponytail whipped about the
other shoulder from a sudden gust, "I do ever so hope that we are going
to be friends." 

"How…" Brittany stammered open mouthed. Gina seemed frozen as she clung
to her rock. "How did you get up here? …I…I ran …"

Croft, taking a full measuring glance of the taller, far more sizable,
of the two, put more of a grip on her weapon. "Ran across some notes of
an underwater passageway that lead to a shaft system. Had me up in no
time, but it was still a—` 

A bang and the crack of a stone by the woman's feet ended her obvious
beratement. Rope dropped, she was dashing, then diving, for an
outcropping of rock for protection before even a stunned Brittany
Diggers thought to react. At a second gunshot however, the werecat had
scooped up her dazed sister and joined the other adventress before the
bullet took a piece off Gina's comfort rock.

"Ach, Mz Croft…" a male voice stolen from a WWII movie made in Minnesota
on a teenagers  allowance announced, "Ach-gain I prove that vhat ever
zou pozzes, I cannot attain? Jea?"

"Ah Murray," Laura retorted back laying against her cover in a crouch, a
gun in both hands, "someone's been at their Raider's of the Lost Ark
video I see. Sorry to tell you this, but you have it all wrong: Belloch
was French, not German. Please do try and get it right!"

A bullet ricocheted off their protection.

"Sensitive old sod." the ponytailed gunwoman commented with a mock pout. 

"Who is he?" Brittany asked as she held her sister absently in the crook
of her arm like a top-heavy teddy bear. Gina was still in a coma from
being met by her rival. 

"Major Otto von Slegenhimer," Croft sighed risking a look over the
rocks, "But he was born Murray Johnston. Considers himself a bit of a
treasure hunter. Pathetic fellow couldn't find a gold ingot in his bum."

At the scent and wine of dogs, the werecat chanced a look over as well. 
One man held two Dobermans by a leash as two more with Ak-47s flanked
him. Everything about him from the scar on his cheek to the aviator
pants he wore and leaguer on his hip said out of uniform SS officer just
escaped from the set of Hogan's Heroes. A black fur collared heavy coat
rode his shoulders and was opened to a thin and lose fitting white shirt
that showed on an even whiter hollow chest and gave hint to a pot belly.
The unappetizing sight was made even more so by the pectoral implants he
had put in. The morn was obviously freezing what little chest hairs he
had off, but whatever good sense he possessed —zip being the most
likely—had been sacrificed to let him hold a dramatic pose. Even without
the dogs tugging at their leashes and nearly tipping him over, he looked
about as threatening as Gina's rock. 

A gust of wind roguishly went through his thin brown hair. Almost took
off his black toupee and he fought for it back. Brittany sat down opened
mouthed. 

"That followed you up here?! How?!?"   

"Murray may not be that rugged, but he knows how to hire." Laura
remarked looking about the other rock outcroppings. "Still, I figure his
thugs only follow him for the paycheck. And there should be more of them
somewhere."

Brittany gave another look as one of the visible henchmen took aim for
her head. The werecat spotted a shadow here and there moving in the
rocks surrounding them. Gave a yawn. Had her head down long before a
projectile flew by.   

"I can smell—REALLY smell—at least three, four more guys. And if they're
the common generic type, and if flip-top could bring dogs up here, you
can bet his boys have more big, loud phallic symbols. But that still
doesn't answer my question: how does a loser like that not only get up
here, but has time to set up an ambush?"     

"I found out about the passage from a local guide." Croft answered
taking another peek. "Asked him as politely as a lowly woman could, but
I guess he didn't go for broken teeth. He and some of his chums held me
up in town and in the tunnels. Must have fallen over themselves to help
Murray. You'd be surprised how often this sort of thing happens to me—is
your sister alright? She seems to be in shock."  

During all this, Gina's face was an odd mask. Eyes wide open, a brow
ticked in irritation while her lips were a quivering wave. The sound of
the wind obscured her mumble of, "she beat me again…she beat me
again…she beat me again…", that Brittany hoped allowed only her sharper
than normal hearing to pick up. 

"Shock from the climb?" the girl offered. If a response was forthcoming
from Laura, their party crasher interjected with a question of his own.
An offer. 

"Mz. Croft, pleeze zee reazon jea? If zou zzurrender now, I und my men
vill make it mozt enjoyabble for zou und your azz-iztantz…" Murray's
voice leered. 

"Ve urnt not her azz—assistants you Col. Klink wanna-be!!" Gina
announced suddenly freeing herself from her sisters grip. Looked
brazenly over their cover. "And I've heard better German from a New York
cabby from New Deli!!" she added in a huff. 

One furred, clawed hand clamped on one of her shoulders. A sports
gloved, naked fingered one with clear hardening gloss on it's
fingernails the other. Both yanked her down on her rump as a volley of
bullets occupied the space her head had been. Others bounced off the
rock cover of the three. 

"Glad to have you back in the world of the living doctor Diggers," Croft
said with a coy grin as the other rubbed her bruised pride, "do try to
stay here." The auburn adventuress turned to regard their opponents as
Gina made to stand and comment. 

"Why you B—MMMPH!!!" She began as her sister clamped a hand over her
mouth and pulled her close. Restrained her.

"Will you chill out!!" Brittany hissed into her sibling's ear, "We're
all in trouble right now and you're loosing it for no reason!"

"Mm—mmm!!"

"Yeah, yeah. I know it's her but—"

"MMMPH!!!" Gina's arms flailed wildly. 

"but as you pointed out the gang from stalag 13 has us surrounded and
don't want to share strudel with us! They'd rather shoot the lot of us
as get two slices of mom's all American and one British cobbler!"

"Mmm-mm-mmm-mmmmm-mmmm-mm-mmmm?" Gina hummed calmly with a level gaze.
Her sister's eyes went wide at the comment. 

"I do not think about food a lot!"

"Mmm…"

"Yes! I think about That a lot but I don't think this is the time to
talk about it!" 

"…" Gina said as she relaxed in her sister's iron grip—then exploded
into motion in the direction of the British explorer once more. Back
turned, Croft waited patiently for the gun fire to die down. Failed
totally to notice the one-side struggle behind her.  

"Murray…ah…Major! Oh Major Otto love?" Croft purred in a sing-song shout
above the din as she checked her clips. Made a sour face. "Could you at
least do the gentlemenly thing and wait for our reply before accepting
our surrender and shooting us? Some of us just might like a shag with an
Uberminch."

The guns went silent. "A what?" the man who liked to be called von
Slegenhimer asked with his Queens origins showing. Under her shades,
Croft rolled her eyes. 

"A big, strapping, member of the master race such as yourself. To become
your scantly clad servants might just be a girl's dream." She said with
an expression that spoke of holding back one's lunch. Murray forgot his
role for a second. 

"W-what? Really? You? Me?!" A reminding cough and he said, "Very well,
my zoon to be butterscotch-covered lepchin…Vhat iz your anzwer!" 

Reeling at the mental imagery, Croft collected herself with a loathing
moan, then sprang up from cover. With fluid motion, her arm swung up
overhand as she aimed a gun. It spoke once, but loudly, and she was back
down. Brittany and Gina made to look, but the sight of a black patch of
carpet sailing over the edge caught their eye as a, "FRIGGIN' A!!", came
from Murray. Sitting down once more, with normal sized sister in arm
like a big doll, both Diggers looked questioningly to the Britain. Croft
gave a pleased sigh as she slumped.

"Mother always said you could get farther with a pretty face, good
teeth, sweet voice and 45 automatics than with just a pretty face, good
teeth and sweet voice." she regarded the Americans with a happy grin as
she dropped her guns uselessly to the ground. "I'm out! You chaps
wouldn't have any bright ideas?"

Gunfire erupted anew.  

Gina managed to at least free her mouth. "That was a stupid thing to do!
What about your other weapons?! Your M-16 and Uzies with the three kinds
of ammo?! That shotgun on your back?!?"

In a pout, Laura unslung the afford mentioned item holding it before
her. Seemed amazed at the discovery. "Sorry dear, this is only good for
close range and is filled with buck shot to scare away the bears and
what not. And as for that other stuff, I'm afraid that's only in the
games. You don't actually think I carry around hundreds of pounds of
ammunition and guns in this thing?" she said thumbing to her small back
pack, "I barely have enough room for a nutrition bar and the few clips I
did have."

"Yeah, I can see you have other weight problems to consider—Mmmhp!!!"
Gina comment looking levelingly at the other's chest before Brittany
again covered her mouth. Taking no heed of any possible insult, Laura
rested her chin on the palm of a hand as she sat with knees up. Sighed

"I wouldn't worry chaps. I got Murray so riled with that one shot, they
aren't even moving. Just blasting. Given my reputation—(nice to have it
come in handy for once)—none of them will dare charge us. All we have to
do is wait them out till…how do Americans so crassly put it…'they've all
shot their loads?'"

Gina's growl at the national insult was lost in a fizzling roar that
ended with a deafening bang which churned up a cloud of dust and caused
a rain of rocks to fall down upon them. An ominous echoing rumble about
the mountain seemed to turn all else quite long after it settled and
past.   

Uncovering her ears and uncurling her body, coughing dirt from her mouth
as Gina and Brittany, Laura spat as she brushed pebbles from her hair,
"I knew I should have aimed lower at that wanker!!"

"Ah boss…" one of Murray's goons commented from their cover, "I don't
think that was such a good idea…"

"Friggin' A Surelock!!" Murray replied, "Ya' think!! Gimme that!!"  
 
"But you said…"

"SHUT UP!!! Dumpfcoff!!!"

Another, with a real German accent, added, "He's right, you said to fire
that thing (and as a German, I have to say that I am offended by your
portrayal-)"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!!! WILL ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!!!!!" Murray bellowed
as a New Yorker stuck in a traffic jam. 

A second more distant rumble got the attention of all. On a close yet
distant mountain, a cloudy sheet of white moved down it's slope. This
mountain seemed to answer back as things went quite. 

"Mountain now unstable and gunmen have rockets. Right!" Laura whispered,
"I'm all out of tricks (not that I had that many to begin with), how
about one of your wonderful gadgets Diggers? That marvelous force
shield?"

Brittany raised an eyebrow at this question. Gina's personal force
shield was far better than what was left of these rocks. And while her
lightgate teleporter couldn't get them here, it could surely get them
out of this mess and take them home. Hugging her sister with one hand,
covering her mouth with the other, Brittany looked down at Gina and
repeated the Britain's question. 

"Yeah, what about your wonderful gadgets?! That marvelous force
shield!?" In answer, the inventor/explorer only pointed to their pack…or
rather…what remained of it. 

Stray bullets had caught their equipment pack, turning it into a bundle
of torn rags. A perforated canteen leaked and stained the ripped nylon.
Electric sparks leapt from a smoking section. The blast had thrown it
well back to the edge and a number of rocks were now embedded in it
leaving fist sized holes. Then luck, adding insult to injury, sent a
gust of wind that pushed it over the side as the three looked. All gave
a painful groan—thought one was a bit muffled. 

A testing bullet rang out on their rocks. Even it's echo sounded
cautious. With a growl, Brittany released her sister and stood in a
crouch. Wrung her knuckles. 

"Enough with this Doctor Who, useless companion in distressed crap! I'm
gonna stroll up to those Jabronies! Take their rudey-poo guns out of
their hands! Shine them son's o bitches up real nice! Turn'em-!"

"Ah-ah-ah!" Laura warned with a wagging finger. "No matter the
circumstance, a Lady must never forget herself. But you are right.
Before those ruffians get their nerve back, we girls should get out
there and do some up close and personal rectal insertion of elongated
objects into their person. In a horizontally planar matter of course."  

"Of course." Brittany responded with a refined pose. Then giving her
sister an apologetic glance, the werecat added with a smile, "I like
you! On three?"

"Wait. Is that 1-2-3, 3-2-1, or as you Yank's like to do now, just shout
`3' and leap into the mess?"   

"Yes."

"Jolly good!" 

"Gina, stay put!"

"THREE!!!" The two women roared vaulting their cover. Laura's shotgun
barked more as a noise maker rather than a true weapon making startled
heads duck, guns hesitate as Brittany took twenty running steps of each
of Laura's spiriting one. A cluster of three thugs realized the
pointlessness of the Britain's attack, but failed to note it's
distractive aim as they turned guns on her. The werecheetah flew at them
like a missile. Her bestial scream again lead them to distraction. 

An ice skater's spin, and one of Brittany's thick muscled shapely legs
came up at a chest. It's foot hit with all the subtly of a cannon ball
and sent it's target flying as he took all of the werecat's forward
motion. An arm came up in a blur to catch another thug in a closeline
swing that sent him flipping on his back winded and seeing stars. The
hand of the same arm then clenched through the armor of a flack jacket
as the lycanthrobe twisted picking him off the ground, took a close by
comrade in the chest and vaulted him as well. Pinned both into a rocky
wall. She grinned as she held the pose. 

"Xena ain't got nothin' on me!", she said releasing the men to let them
drop to the ground out cold. Behind her back, a man took aim with a
rifle.   

A blast to his back, and buckshot tore through his legs. Made him howl
in pain and crumple to his knees. Last round spent, Laura hit him with
the stubby stock of her short barreled weapon across the back of the
head as another man charged her. Still in upward swing, a gloved hand
took the hot but cooling gun barrel and brought it down towards the
attacker. Other hand joined turning the move into a improvised katana
blow that struck the man's shoulder and shattered the oaken grip. After
he crashed to the ground unmoving, Croft simply tossed the ruined weapon
away.     

A shadow fell over her. She turned nonchalantly to face it's owner.

In this harsh cold, the man stood bare chested, scars and wounds from
old injuries the only garment covering his big, mountainous muscled
form. Tattered lose khaki about his lower midsection, cloth of a
bandanna waving about the curls of his raven black locks, he smiled
evilly as he loudly cracked his knuckles. 

"Sorry dear fellow," Croft commented lowering her shades which now
sported a hairline crack from the blast, "but Retro is the Mod sixties,
not the Hollywood eighties. Last time I saw Rambo, he was an overweight
cop…or was that Tavota?"

The big man only chuckled as he outstretched his arms. "Laugh it up
limey bitch. I don't care how fast or strong your friend is, I can still
snap that neck of yours before she even moves. Everyone knows the only
thing you're good at is lookin' pretty and shootin'." Laura pushed her
glasses back up. Leaned forward putting her hands behind her back.
Smiled.  

"Ah, another video game enthusiast I see? Should I enlighten you as
well?" she asked ever so sweetly. 

The image of her body flowed into a martial arts stance kick leaving a
thick boot a little higher than where his jaw had been. Head knocked
back and tilted, a bruise caught up with the action as his eyes rolled
back into unconsciousness. 

"Legs. Not just something nice to look at, but very functional as well."
Laura sighed, "Don't you agree?"

The man toppled like a dead redwood with a tooth popping from his open
maw. 

"Hey, I live by them." Brittany remarked as she piled her K.O.ed thugs
neatly. Clapped daintily at the impressive, yet only human, display of
speed and skill. Croft's eyes leveled as she noted a change in the
other's body language. 

"If you have an urge to suddenly wave your fist in the air and whoop,
`Girl Power'," she warned sternly, "here's a suggestion: Don't."  

"How about, `Chun Lee is in the his-ouse'?"
 
"As an old fashion kind of girl, I prefer the more traditional display
of comeradrae when two good friends open a big can of whoop ass." She
said walking towards the other. Brittany met her half way.

"Oh," the werecat sighed chestfallen…if such a thing was possible, "if
you insists…"

"YESS!!!" both chorused giving a high five. Then Croft gave a frown. 

"I thought you said there were only five?"

"So a couple took baths? I wasn't counting Murray? So shoot me."

"<*BANG!!*>" went Murray's leaguer. Stunned, Brittany touched her side
before stumbling. Croft fought to hold her up.

"CHEETAH!!" the woman screamed. 

Brittany took heavy breath. Looked at the blood on her hand. "Nicked a
rib…punctured lung…I think he even got the heart…give me a sec…" she
smiled weakly, "it's only a flesh wound…"

"This is no time for a Python skit! You've been shot!!"

"Yes, by Murray the happy Nazi. Murray, the still armed happy Nazi!"
Brittany made coughing, vomiting sounds. 

"You vould do vell to heed your frizend'z advize ja? Underestimating me
vas your virst and lazt miztake!"  

Letting Brittany knell over as she started coughing up blood, Croft
turned to see Murray holding not his gun, but the missile launcher over
his shoulder as his dogs sat to either side. The leaguer lay at his feet
in the snow. Laura snarled.

"Fine German craftsmanship at work I see. You should really take better
care of your toys."

"I'st doez not matter, I uave von! The day iz mine!! Soon ze untire
volrd will know ze name of Otto von Slegenhimer!!!" 

"No, this far up the world will have bits of Murray Johnston raining all
over it! If you fire that thing we all die you idiot!"

Behind her, Brittany spat. Before, Murray burned with an itchy trigger
finger. 

"I am Otto von Slegenhimer!! Fuhrer of the glorious Fourth Reich!!! You
and your dying friend mean nothing to me!!!"

"I'm not quite dead yet." Brittany announced hawking a bloody luggie
with a hard center. Stood up. "In fact I've never felt better!" the
werecheetah looked to Laura with a sick grimace. 

"A bullet in the stomach is worse than a hair ball!" she announced
rubbing her side. Looked to the man. "And you've messed my jacket! I
know a naughty boy who's getting a spanking (thought you probably like
that sort of thing)!"

"Don't just sit there you stupid dogs," Murray commanded the Dobermans,
"GET THEM!!! ATTACK!!! ATTACK!!!!!" 

The dogs got halfway to their intended victims before they skidded to a
halt. Caught full sight of the economy sized werecat as Brittany gave
them a people's eyebrow. One only whined as it faltered. The other lay
on it's belly.  

"GET `EM YOU STUPID MUTTS!" Murray bellowed. 

Taking turns looking forward, then behind, the dogs made the right
choice…and ran for the cave. Vanished from sight.   

"Traitors!!" Murray called after them, "Quislings!!!"

"That's a Jewish thing Murray. Spawned from your equally loser
predecessor no less." Croft reminded him. The man ground his teeth. 

"Okay!! That's it!! THAT'S IT!!!! You want freakin' Murray?! You got
freakin' Murray!! And Murray says ta get the fuck off this mountain
before I blows your freakin' asses off it!!"  

A long pause. Then Brittany addressed Croft. 

"Yah know," she said rubbing her chin in thought with her unbloodied
hand, "his New Yorker is worse than his German…"

"THAT'S IT!!! I'M BLOWING US ALL TA HELL!!!!!" Murray screamed. Laura
unzipped her jacket. Sighed. 

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this…"    

"What?" Brittany asked calmly yet concerned as smoke rose from Murrays
scalp. The Britain opened her jacket with a dramatic flare making `C'
cups bounce with motion as they lay confined in nothing but a tank top.
This seemed to calm the man down quite a lot. Croft reached for the
bottom of the shirt with both hands. 

"I'm going to flash him my tits then beat him to a pulp as he stands
stunned with a nosebleed. The bad thing is, I can tell someone I'm going
to do it, and it still has the same effect. I feel rather sorry that it
works so well."

 A `D' parka covered Brittany stood with hands on her hips. "Tell me
about it." she sighed with a lame face—was about a fraction of a second
from bursting into a running roundhouse—as Murray waited with sudden
anticipation for the unveiling.

"Hold on Brittany, I'm commin'!!!" Gina yelled as she burst from cover
with her sole remaining device. Fired it as she ran. 

A suction cup landed on a still waiting Murray's head. 

"Does she do this a lot? Charge in with her eyes closed running blindly?
After all the fighting's pretty much done I mean?" Laura asked looking
sideways with shirt half up exposing flat toned stomach.  

"Before. During. After. She's really more of a thinker than a fighter."
Her sister defended stopped dead in the beginning of a running pose.
"But this is sort of a bad day for her…really."    

Finding the remains of her comfort rock the hard way, Gina tripped
stumbling forward. Hit the winding stud on her grappling gun and was
pulled a bit more as Murray fought to stay up. The tube of the launcher
went up. 

A spurt, then a fizzling sound filled the air as a contrail of smoke
arced up the mountain. Those still standing looked up dully as the
missile flew. 

"You know Cheetah—" Croft said very calmly. 

"Brittany." Brittany cut in with the same mellow tone. "Close friends
call me Brit or Cheets." 

"Brit—thank you, I rarely get called Laura but you're welcomed to use
it." 

The rocket's fuel gave out but it still flew higher. Almost out of
sight. Still going into the side of their snow covered mountain. 

"You were saying Laura?"

"Oh yes…sorry about that—Brittany, hopefully I'll work up to the others.
Get a chance to anyway. Brittany…I could see this coming." 

A small, insignificant, cotton puff with just a hint of flash. No noise. 

"Yeah, me too. Once she said the Himalayas, I thought avalanche. Really
thought we were safe after the first one though."

"It was a lost cause when I saw Murray with the launcher."

The sound of the explosion poured down to them like slow molasses. Then
a growing rumble. 

"Laura?"

"Yes Brittany?"

"Should we save ourselves or rescue Murray and his boys too?"

"Normally, I'd leave them, but then they do work for Murray. That's
punishment enough."             

"How do you know his name is Murray anyway?"

A white cloud hugging the mountain above began to slide down to them. 

"Driver's license. It fell out his pocket after he fell into a pit he
had set up for me. We should really get going. My butler has the most
awful fits when I'm late for tea." 

Bursting into motion, the two went to their prospective group of beaten
thugs and began ushering them to the tunnel opening. Showing ungrateful
appreciation, the men struggled in Brittany's grip as she dashed to and
fro with a goon slung under each arm. Laura, in the true sprit of
Florence Nightingale, kneed a protesting thug in the belly before
getting him on his feet and pushing him in the right direction.
Hurriedly woke Rambo and had him helping the limping Stumpy as Brittany
took Murray and hurled him up by his shorts rocketing to the cave…purely
by accident of course. 

During all this Gina lay sprawled in the broken snow, got up slowly, and
looked above as the roar of on rushing white came at her. She froze like
an ant before a boot as the ground began to shake. 

"Gina!!" Brittany called at the cave opening flinging Murray
inside—their was a complaining, `ouch!', with the sound of impact. "Haul
your ass!!!" 

Stopping in her own dash, Croft turned to look to the stunned Diggers,
then forward again in time to see her own three thugs block Brittany's
way as the ground seemed to writhe under her feet. No sooner than the
large furry woman had them out of the way, the roof of the opening began
to crumble. Croft was already rushing to the dazed blonde. 

"GINA!!!" Brittany screamed behind a curtain of falling rock. Was gone
as thunder possessed the air. 

"C'MON!!!" Croft yelled just above the din as she took Gina by the
wrist. Towed her into a sheepish run towards the only remaining cover
left them: the temple at least ten meters away as the world went mad. 

"Bloody hell Gold Digger," Croft said yanking more speed out of her,
"put some effort into it!!!"

The ultimate insult. A name so close to her own, yet one she had tired
to live down ever since she became an archeologist. It took her years to
accept it as a badge of honor. Training bras,  braces and her bookworm
teasing had been easier to deal with. And to hear it now from her worst
foe…

Blinking out of her trance, Gina Diggers actually slowed. Tried to
wriggle out of the Britain's stone grip as she whined in complaint.
Looked up.  

"Damnit!! Let me—!"   

The sky was a roof of white with ever shifting shades. Black splotches
that only grew in size as they soared overhead. Gina could feel them in
the quaking ground as they landed. She couldn't hear her own voice, much
less her own scream, in the bone rocking sound. Flakes of snow were all
about. 

A tug from Laura. Another misplaced step on the moving ground, and Gina
went flying…

Right upon the Britain's shoulders and into a fireman's carry. Feeling
Croft's backpack in her belly, the girl could only note with a stunned,
shocked start, that the other was only moving faster than before. 

"We've just gotten to know each other!!" Laura yelled by Gina's ear as
they fell into shadow. The shaking was so bad she found it hard to judge
up, managed a moment of thought in her numb panic to wonder how the
other was still on her feet. Much less finding an excuse to get one last
shot in before they died. "I'd hate to ruin the start of a wonderful
friendship!!!"

Diving into the bowels of the temple as it crumbled, the two vanished as
the avalanche at last hit the plateau full force. So vast was it's
weight, the rock shelf gave with the sound of creation. Tearing through
the mountain range, even this chaotic sound faded and took order. Became
a near soothing, yet still awe inspiring, song of nature. Further
distance leached it's power and menace, till at the outskirts of a
village far from the destruction, only a tethered lama rose and turned
it's head at a possible sound. Went back to chew it's cud and tend a
patch of snow grass amid the peaceful serenity… 

To be continued…