WARNING!!!

This is a lemon.  This work shows two people participating in sexual
intercourse.  If you are under 18 or are opposed to such things, please
delete now.

Nightelf presents...

Instinct

A work of anime fanfiction by Nicholas Leifker

Ranma 1/2 and all characters created by Rumiko Takahashi.  All rights
reserved.  I ask that you not do anything with any part of this work
without permission.

A SECOND WARNING: This is a lemon.  It shows two people engaged in sex. 
If you are under 18, or are opposed to viewing such material, don't read
this.  I don't mean to repeat myself; however, I don't want anyone
reading this who shouldn't be.

On with the show...

******************************************************************

Is this death?

I almost hope it is, now.  In death, you lose control of yourself; you
lose that physical part of your soul, and go someplace else.  You're no
longer a part of this realm.

I hope this is death.  I'd hate for it to be something else.  I don't
want to be what I'm becoming - what my blood screams for me to become. 
I can feel it inside of me, pulling me to change, to give in, to become
something else, to do a million things at once... and none of them
good.  

I can't hold it back anymore.  For nine days I've fought it, struggled
not to give in to the old ghoul's trap.  I fought it when my animal
instincts started to come to the boil, pushed the images of conquest
from my mind, and ignored the sweet musky smell coming from downstairs. 
Only in my dreams would I give in; the wet bedsheets in the morning were
a testament to will.

That will is dried up, now.  The voice of reason is hoarse from constant
days of vigilance; the instinct in me never stops screaming.  I cannot
fight anymore; to be conquered is the only option left.  My stomach
mixes fire and ice at the thought; revulsion and desire.

I rise from my meditations, and walk to the closet.  The clothes strip
off in a heartbeat; naked to the bone, I feel every current of air
around me.  My hands gather the forbidden clothing in my hand, my dainty
fingertips caressing them like a lover.

First to come on is the lace teddy; it stretches, molding against me,
becoming a black skin against my alabaster.  The thigh-highs come next,
smoky mist in appearance, tight sheath in reality.  This metamorphosis
takes all of thirty seconds; I figure I have a minute or two more before
it begins.  As an afterthought, I slip a shirt and trousers over my
lingerie; flowers need to be opened slowly and delicately, after all,
and I at least want one last lingering moment of my old life.

Whether I like it or not, Cologne has won.  Her sisterhood has always
sought emasculation, whether by symbolic or literal means; the latter
was done in this case.  The proud man is brought low, an effete clown in
black nylon.  I only take a glance at the mirror to satisfy the voices;
I know my appeal to men, and so does this other me.  We are ready; a
tear marks my sorrow, while she forces a weak smile in anticipation.

"Ranma?"

The rich, deep voice echoes through rice paper; my heart skips a beat. 
I can smell him through the walls; I can almost taste his sweat from
here.  "Come in, Ryouga."  I wipe my sweaty palms on my slacks as the
door slides open.

Different eyes see him now, eyes shaded pink from Cologne's potion.  He
will be the one; I know it.  My pheromones are already having an effect
on him.  "Ranma, are you sure this is wise?"

"Wise?" I crack bitterly.  "Wisdom left the door a week ago, Ryouga."

His eyes grow wide; in an instant, he knows what is going to happen.  A
part of him wants it; I lick my lips at the bulge in his trousers. 
"Ranma, don't do this.  You can keep... keep fighting this."  

I shake my head.  "Ryouga, there is no choice anymore.  The only thing
that's keeping me from ripping your clothes off and making love to you
right here is the fact that I'm going to be getting some in a little
bit."  I glance down.  "And I know you want it, too..."

"I... I... Well, of course, I do, Ranma!  What guy doesn't?"  He stands
up straight; my eyes try to hold him here.  "But... that doesn't mean it
isn't wrong."

I grit my teeth; I make one last stand, even while my lips plead for
surrender.  "Ryouga, none of that matters, anymore.  The beast is almost
out of control; within the day, I will give my virginity to some man -
likely Pop or Mr. Tendo, considering they live here."  My unbound hair
swishes back and forth as I lament my predicament.  "I will not
surrender to Cologne; I have no choice but to surrender to this."

The gears work within Ryouga's mind; I can see his eyes darting
furiously, looking for an answer.  The idea that it makes him 'cute'
flashes through my head, but is quickly squashed.  "W... what if you had
sex with another girl?  I mean, maybe if someone like Ukyou or Akane 
were to..."

"Already tried that," I whisper.  "It didn't work."  A tear falls down
my cheek; it still hurts to know I couldn't get pleasure from her.  "We
tried everything; I drove her to passion for hours, but never felt what
she was giving me in return."  I swallow; it hurts to do so.  "It is a
part of the spell; it must be a man's penis that satiates the demons." 

"Oh."  Now he realizes the hopelessness of the situation; his eyes mourn
my death.  I am lost; I must lose what I hold most dear to get any of it
back.  "Okay, Ranma.  If you... if you really need to have me... then
I... then I'll do it."  

Relief floods me, for some reason; my other side must be howling for
joy.  "Okay, Ryouga."  I recline on the futon; lithe muscles stretch to
form a sultry pose.  "I'm ready."

Ryouga blushes furiously.  "Um... Ranma?  Could you help me a bit here? 
I... I've never done this before."

I can't help but grin.  If he wants me to take the initiative...  "Why,
Ryouga, all you had to do was ask."  I rise to my feet - then promptly
shove Ryouga to the floor.

Ryouga gets half a second from yelling something at me.  I don't know
why he stopped; maybe it was my slowly descending hand.  In seconds, my
shirt is unbuttoned; looking into his eyes, I know he's mine.  The shirt
slides from my shoulders slowly, tantalizingly, each inch making him
want to see another.  He swallows when the shirt falls to the floor.

"Ra... Ranma?"  His voice quivers with indecision.

"Yes?"  The lilt in my voice broadcasts what I know in my heart; it is
too late for me.  Even my voice is that of a woman; even my speech has
changed to my new role.

He sits up from the floor, grabbing my bare shoulders - making us
equals.  "Ranma, we... we can't do it like this.  This... needs to be
something different.  We just can't have sex like this.  It needs to
be... I don't know... more honorable."

Honorable.  He wants it to be honorable.  

I wish it could only be so.

"Ryouga... it can't work this way.  I need relief; I can't hold out
anymore.  How can we make it 'honorable' when neither of us are leaving
the room?"

He swallows again; a tear falls down his cheek.  "Will you... let me do
the honors?"

I blink.  "Huh?"

His calloused hands feel like sandpaper against my soft skin; the rough
texture drives me mad as he moves his hands across my shoulders.  I lose
myself in his brown eyes as he fixes his gaze on mine.

"Ranma, I... I love you.  As a friend, I love you.  Except for Akane,
you're probably the only person who's treated me with any respect.  I...
I don't want you giving in totally to your instincts on this.  I... how
do I put it... we can make love... but we don't have to make it some
sick and twisted thing."

I turn away quickly.  I wish he could just make it into something
normal.  Then, maybe, my heart wouldn't be whimpering.  "How do we do
that?"

His hand reaches out to cup my cheek; I know what's coming next.  "By
loving each other, Ranma."  I instinctively close my eyes as his lips
approach.

The kiss didn't have that charge of electricity I thought it would.  I
never got to really taste Akane; by the time I kissed her, my lips were
dulled to the taste of women.  Mikado's kiss I prefer to forget; he was
no true man, and I was no woman then.  Ryouga beat them all hands down;
his kiss was all about warmth and sharing.  It was the contact of yang
and yin, his powerful masculinity to my mysterious womanhood.  I felt
suddenly helpless in his arms; all of my strength I ceded to him in that
moment.

With that one kiss, he had become man, and I woman.  Our roles were
understood, and we would follow them from then on.

At that moment, I felt a tugging on my hips; he was beginning to pull my
slacks down.  I adjusted my position to make it easier for him, then
watched as he threw the offending article away.

At that moment, my life as a man seemed a very faraway thing indeed.  It
was my turn, I knew; my disguise was off, and it was time for me to
remove his.  I tried to restrain myself as I removed his shirt; part of
me wanted to rip it from his body, revealing his chest for my soul to
covet.

Oh, yes.  I run my hands down his hot chest, feeling every rock-hard
muscle.  A shame that none of the girls around Furinkan ever picked him
up; he was a catch-and-a-half.  Frequent workouts have made Ryouga into
one of the strongest men on earth - and one of the hunkiest.  Greek
sculptors would have hired him for modeling duty, if he'd been around
then.

Fortunately, he can do more than model for me...

"Oh, Ranma..." he whimpers as I rub my thumbs along his nipples.  Bet he
never knew how sensitive those could get... or that they're ten times
more sensitive on my body.  Hopefully, he'll get the hint.  I move down
to his waist and put my hands on his belt, my eyes glittering with
excitement.

"Ryouga, I love you.  I don't want to hurt you - now or ever.  And... I
don't want us to fight anymore.  It would seem... wrong."  I unlatch the
belt; I can almost feel the heat of his member beneath the fabric. 
"Okay?"

He nods his assent; he's got more important things to worry about than
fighting with me.  "O... okay."  

Removing his trousers proves more difficult than I thought.  After all,
he still wears those leg binders.  Nevertheless, I make a game out of
it; while I play, while I try to add humor or seduction to it, I retain
some control of me - and the last thing I want to do is lose control
here.  I rub my head against his crotch while unfastening his barriers,
feeling him moan with each touch.  

I'm going to enjoy this.  

The first line is crossed; his manhood stands at attention beneath his
boxers, while a thin line of moisture stains the silk covering my
womanhood.  I lie back seductively and wait for him to come to me, my
body yearning for the touch of his fingers.  

He doesn't disappoint.  Maybe it's the pheromones I'm giving off, but
he's totally gone into the act.  His hands reach for my shoulders; I
gasp as he pushes the straps down to my arms.  He slides his hands
behind me, to my back; after a moment's fumbling, my breasts are
released from their prison.  It's much like the relief that comes from
going to the bathroom; a part of me I'd been holding in is allowed to
run wild - with a little help, of course.

Ohhhh... I moan as he focuses his attention on those breasts.  It always
annoyed me how sensitive they were when I changed; now, each touch feels
like fire, painful and seductive, addictive.  I barely have enough sense
to reach down to the waistband of his boxers; careful not to hurt Mr.
Happy down there, I ease them off of his body, and let them fall to the
floor.  Thankfully, Ryouga's hands kept me occupied; had he not, I might
have frozen at what I'd revealed.  He had me almost totally stripped
down before I noticed.

His penis wasn't a huge thing; maybe seven inches, if I'd wanted to take
a ruler to it.  My own had been a bit longer, to be honest.  But, it was
still a penis, all throbbing and burning with hot blood.  I almost
collapsed when I saw it; this was what I wanted, what I *needed*... and
here it was in front of me.  Ryouga took my moment of awe to strip me
down the rest of the way; they pushed at my stockings a bit, causing
them to roll as I stood there, dumbfounded.  

"Ryouga?"

"Yes?"

I guide him down to the floor, my hand on his cheek, my eyes hungry for
him.  "Now."

So much for foreplay.  He grits his teeth; considering where his member
is pointing, I can see why.  I reach my hand down there to guide it in;
I can't help but get in a couple of playful touches.  It's just so...
alive.  I can see the indecision in his eyes; this is the last chance. 
He questions me with his eyes, questions I'd racked myself with for a
week.

"Now, don't worry, Ryouga.  This won't be too hard..."  I aim his
member; I can't help but whimper as it points at the edge of the abyss,
just touching there.  "... I think."  I try to show what happiness I
can; it's hard when all I can feel is animal rutting.  "Ready?"

Ryouga touches the edge of my eye; was that a tear that fell down? 
"I... I won't forget you, Ranma."  He readies himself for the first
thrust.  "Here I go..."

He makes the first thrust, and my whole world burns in flame.  He's
inside of me, his manhood is inside of me; I screech as he digs deep
within me.  He's so warm; it feels like a furnace inside of me,
building, burning... at the same time, I feel more like I was.  Then as
now, something is between my legs; I want it to stay, want that pressure
to grow.  I press, wanting more, screaming, pleading, screaming,
pleading, building, pleading, more, more... more...
moooooOOOOOOORRRRE!!!!

The explosion inside of me rocks me to my core; every cell of my body
shudders with passion.  His hot seed shoots inside of me; I dimly note
it as passion's fire overwhelms me.  I want to hold onto it, but it
feels like I'm falling... falling...

***

"Wake up.  Time to dream."

I blink out of my slumber.  I can still feel Ryouga beside me, sleeping
away; unconsciously, I sink deeper into his embrace.  "Who's there?"

"I think you know me."  He steps out of the shadows; unconsciously, I
swallow.

He's me.

Somehow, given all I've been through, I never expected to be
face-to-face with a masculine version of myself.  Still, I tried to
remain calm.  "So.  What do you want?"

He looks me up and down, sadness in his eyes.  "We crossed the line,
didn't we?"  The sigh from his lips is like a death knell.  "Not that we
had much choice."

I blink.  "Line?"

His eyes cut through every question.  "You know.  The Line."  He
gestures to my bed companion, to make his point.

I swallow, and look uneasy.  "Oh.  That line."  I try to look innocent
as I look up at him.  "So.  What do we do now?"

He shrugs; he looks older than I remember myself being.  "That's up to
you, I guess.  Have you taken a look at him?"  Again, he gestures to
Ryouga with his eyebrows.  

I'm almost afraid to look.  I know what I'm going to find; I don't want
to find that.  I don't want to feel this way, don't want to have these
feelings, shouldn't be having these feelings...

.... but I do.

The first words out of my mouth say it all.  "Cologne lied to us about
how to break it?"

My other self shakes his head.  "No.  I think she just didn't tell the
whole story.  We're not out of control like we used to be.  It's just
that our heart's been pointed in a different direction."  His hand
reaches out to caress Ryouga's cheek in just the right spot; I know that
touch too well.  I used it - we used it - to guide Ryouga down with us. 
"Damn Cologne."  His whisper conveys every emotion we feel, every
contradiction within.

Again, the question comes - questions we don't want to ask.  "So what do
we do?  I mean, what about Akane?  Do we just leave her?  Or... or do
we..."  I can't bring myself to say it - can't bring myself to think it.

He closes his eyes.  "That, my dear Ranma, is up to you."  My other self
fades from view, leaving me alone... with him.

***

"Aiyah, is too late!"

The baritone voice that calls me from my rest is unfamiliar; however,
that lilt and pidgin accent I'd know anywhere.  I wipe the grime and
moisture from my eyes; was I crying in my sleep?  "Shampoo?  Are you..."

He was.  He was remarkably huge for a man; Mousse's robes strained
against his form.  Had he found me before this, I could not have
resisted; his masculinity almost sings to me even now.  Defeat weighs
down his shoulders; he leans against the house wall, dejected.  "Shampoo
is too late.  Now Ranma love pig boy forever, and not Shampoo."

I absorb the words with remarkable calm.  In my sleep, I had enough time
to prepare for it.  "So... the way to break the lust spell... caused me
to develop a love for Ryouga."

The nod is all the confirmation I need.  I am Ryouga's.  I know it's at
least partly from the spell; however, as with the koi rod, I don't
care.  I can't; love doesn't respect reason, only itself.  

"Shampoo?"  Ryouga wakes up; he blinks for a moment at the Amazon's
change.  "Shampoo, are you all right?  You look like..."

"She is, dear," I quickly whisper, and nudge him back down on the bed. 
"Some things... happened.  I'll explain later."  No more waiting; all I
can do is take care of myself.  

"Shampoo?"

"Yes?"  He really was handsome as a man; no way would I have been able
to resist if he'd been earlier.

"Please leave.  Do not return."  I say the words in the feminine form;
I'd better get used to it, after all.  "You have guided my heart
irrevocably; do not attempt to steer it again."

Shampoo doesn't raise his eyes.  "Hai.  Shampoo... will.  Shampoo sorry
this happen.  Will leave forever."  In a flash, he leaps out the window;
the room is left to two.

The end is near.  I turn around, my blue eyes locked onto Ryouga's dark
brown.  He really does have lovely, soulful eyes, if you're looking at
that sort of thing.

"Ryouga?"

"Yes?"

I bite my lip.  "Do you... love me?"  No beating around the bush, no
delays; either he does or he doesn't.  If he doesn't... I don't know
what I'll do.  Probably die, I guess.

He looks at me curiously, as if for the first time.  Wonder crosses his
features; he sees with new eyes, just like I do.  I know, before he says
the word, what his final choice will be.  He opens his mouth, a broad
grin in his features; his hands move to caress me beneath the covers,
giving promise of an encore performance.

The kiss is all the answer I need.  I never thought my life would come
to this... but you'll never hear me complain.

******************************************************************

Heh.  Never thought I'd end the millenium with something like this...

This actually came from several sources.  There was this little idea I
was toying around with, one I thought would be nice to contribute to the
Ranko and Ryouga page.  Then there was this picture of Onna-Ranma at
Titleist, showing her in breathtaking black lace and nylon.  Then, there
was just this little hentai mind here.  ^_^

To be honest, this was *tough*.  The work came a few paragraphs at a
time; keeping focus longer than that on something this intense was
almost impossible.  This took about two months to actually get done, as
the work was very slow going.  I now actually have a lot more respect
for *good* citrus-for-the-sake-of-citrus lemon writers; to do such work
well is remarkably difficult.

Thanks to all the people who preread this: Richard, Zen, Bast, Sean,
andrew, Kaoru, Kevin, Isaac, Doug, Hitomi, Mike, and Dan.  Also, if you
want to put in your two copper-coated zinc pieces, please do.

I wish you and your respective clans a happy new year.  Take
care, all, and have fun.

Nicholas Leifker
nightelf@thekeep.org
http://www.thekeep.org/~nightelf/fanfic
December 31, 1999