tjherr@teleport.com (P.H. Tidy-Rocc) Ranma 1/2-Phoneography by P.H. Tidy-Rocc All characters copyright (c) 1995 Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan Inc. (well, DUH--if I had invented them, would I be sitting here writing hentai fanfic?!). **************************WARNING**************************** The following story is a NASTY bastard containing all manner of licentious abuse of Alexander Graham Bell's honored invention. If explicit sex, heavy breathing and flowery prose (". . .my steely samurai of desire. . .") offends you, then DON'T READ THIS. **************************WARNING**************************** Here's an original sick and twisted story I thought up, partly inspired by "Dominion: Revenge of the Pumas." I used the person I did because frankly, I can't see anybody but her being warped enough to do something like this. Ukyou sure wouldn't, and I doubt Shampoo would, either. . .so that leaves. . . There'll never be a better time this day: Kunou-ani san is out looking for his "Pig-tailed Goddess;" Sasuke I sent away on a phony mission and Dad's in Paris. The mansion is all mine! I pick up the phone beside my bed and start dialing. I'm so hot and aroused I just pray that he is there. Oh, would that the gods grant me this one boon! "This is Saotome Ranma," he answers. "Hel-LOOO, Ranma my sweet, it's ME again! Are you ready?" "Ah! Kodachi! Yeah, baby, really ready." I love the way his voice goes all husky when we do this. "Good, I'm oh-so-hot for you! I don't think I can take it any longer! Why, oh why must we be apart?" "Ko-chan. . .do you have any. . .toy's. . .with you?" "Yes. I have a LARGE Cucumber, picked fresh from my Wicked Garden!" "W-what are you wearing?" In the background I can hear him unzipping his pants. "I am attired in a very sexy red and black G-string, that's all! And I'm covered in rose petals!" "No bra?" "Nope, I love to let my very sensual breasts just hang out. I hate to have them restricted; you know that." "I'm caressing your breasts now, Ko-chan, do you feel it?" "Oh, yes, Ranma, it feels wonderful, oh go down on me PLEASE I can't take much more!" "Picture my head between your legs, honey, can you feel my tongue sliding up your slit?" "OOOHHH Yes!" "Are you playing with yourself?" "Yes. OOOOHHHH it feels ssssooooo goooooooood!" "Rub that clit baby, rub it hard! Picture my tongue lapping up your sweet juices. Oh, you taste soooo good!" "OOOHHHH. Don't stop, I'm getting close!" "Do you want to 69?" "OH YES, sugar, give me your manhood!" "Here it is baby; suck it good!" "Umpf, umpf you taste so nice! I love your big flesh lollipop going in and out of my mouth! Mmmmm umpf umpf. Oh, Ranma, take me! Take me hard, hot stud!" "Do you want to be on top?" "Oh, y-yes! Darling, let me ride your Napoleonic long barreled cannon of love!" "Uhh. . .yeah; baby, slide right down on my cock! OOOHHH god that feels so wonderful! Ride me honey, ride me hard! Stick that cucumber all the way up your sweet cunthole!" "OOOHHH, uh uh uh umpf, umpf, I'm close, Ranma! I'm so close!" "Oh, come on baby, harder! Harder! You can do it! Cum for me baby, I want to hear you CUM!" "Oh Ranma, I'm almost there! I c-c-can feeeeel it b-b-building. . .Oh! Oh! Oh! Here it coooooooommmmeeesss! Ranma, I'm cuuuuuuummmmiiinnnggg! Oh! Oh! OhohohohOH! Oooooooooooohhhhhh!" I shudder and convulse as though electrified. Spent, I slump back down on the bed, chest heaving, head nestled amidst the pillows, my thighs and apex soaked. But from the tiny speaker on the handset, his voice beckons me. "Ko-chan. . .oh. . .baby, please, suck me off. Swallow me! I need to cum so bad; I want to hear you suck me!" "O.K. Ranma, I'm going to stick this cucumber in my mouth, but first let me lick all my love juices off of it. Would you like that, Ranma darling sweetie honeybunch?" "Oh, yeah, baby, lick my hot cucumber." "UMMMMMM, so HARD, I'm going to deep-throat you now, Ranma; listen for my sweet sucking noises." "Oh, yeah, baby ooohhh that's so good! Oh suck me oooohhhyh! You suck so good and nasty, my little poon flower. Suck me harder, I'm getting ready to blow! Ooohhh! Ooooohhh! Ooohhhh it's coming baby OOOHH Yea here it comes! Swallow it baby! Swallow every bit of it! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oooooohhhhhhh! Oh, Ko-chan, that was wonderf--ACK! AKANE!! H-how long have you been standing there?!" Drat! Suddenly, the grating voice of that lower-class tomboy dyke assaults my delicate ears: "YOU LOWDOWN PANTY-SNIFFING SCUMBAG OF A HENTAI!! I thought Happosai was bad, but YOU--and with KODACHI, of ALL PEOPLE--" "Now, honey, put down the sofa--" "DON'T YOU "HONEY" ME, YOU--" **WHAMM!!** AAAAAAHHHHHH **THUDD** **POW; KLUDD!!** NO! NOT THE MALLET, NOT THE--WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH-- **click** I hang up the phone with a giggle. Nothing can stop our love now, even if it IS currently limited to just sordid phone sex! My eyes flutter shut, and, caressed by the warm breeze from the open window I began to drift off into a relaxing afternoon nap. Oh, Ranma, I'm so glad that you like me! You taste so sweet! I'll talk to you later, my steely samurai of desire. . . END