The Red Light at the end of the Universe. [mast], [mf], [oral] By Adam Young. adamy@usa.net Its guaranteed to offend somebody! Warning! Warning! Lemon Alert, Will Robinson! This story is a lemon. That means that this poor excuse for writing contains SEX!!! Do not read if you are offended by female masturbation and oral sex. So if you are under 18, or you just don't want your parents to find out, you had better not read this. Also note that even though this story can make you aroused, it is not to be used as an alternative to Viagra. Enjoy! As we continue Ranma and Akane's intergalactic journey to get home... We see a space craft pass overhead, the camera follows along the side of the ship as it passes through the voids of space. The camera zooms in to the cockpit window. Ford Prefect sat in his pilot's chair as he stroked his chin. After a week of non-stop space travel, he had now sported a goatee. He was in the middle of a train of thought. "Krikey!" he thought. "being alone with just those two Asian chicks in the back sure can give a guy ideas." He felt a stirring in his pants. He mentally smacked himself. "Come on Ford, old chap, don't think those sort of thoughts!, you're above that kind of shit!" As he began to trail off, the door to the cockpit slammed open and hit him directly in the face. It was Ranma, no longer in his female version. He looked down at Ford, who was now in a semi-conscious pile in the captain's chair. "Oops! Sorry!" said Ranma. Ford looked back at Ranma and did a double take. "Oh, I see that you finally got the hot water heater fixed!" "I see that its about the only thing that works on this fucking shitbucket!" Said Ranma, hitting a control panel. "Hey, don't do that!" exclaimed Ford. "This ship is a bargain!" "Yeah," Said Ranma. "A real blue light spec..." Ranma was interrupted by being smacked in the back of his head by the cockpit door. It was Akane. She took one look at the unconscious pile of Ranma on the floor. "Oh!" she said "Hello Ford." "Good evening, miss Tendo," said Ford "What can I trouble you for?" "I was just wondering when we will be stopping next. Its getting awfully cramped down there...I mean back there!" "Well," said Ford, "the only thing left on the scopes for this sector is The City at the end of the Universe." "That's a very strange name for a city, Mr. Ford." "Well, its literally true Miss Akane." Said Ford. "It's the last settlement on the outer rim of the galaxy, smashing place! I went there once with my old friend Arthur Dent. Lovely fish and chips." "Umm...That's great!" Said Akane sarcastically. "We will be there in an hour at out current speed." Said Ford. "There it is, the legendary city at the end of the universe" Ford said with awe. "Lets find a damn parking space." We see the large craft hover loudly over the docking bay. Smoke and steam appear as the landing gear pop out from the sides. Ranma, Ford, and Akane step out of the airlock and begin to walk down the busy street. "Oh," Said Ford "on our way here I made arrangements for us to stay here temporarily, so we can split up for awhile." "Here, I'll give you each 300 credits you can find room and board for the night, and get something to eat, wont you?" That's all Ranma wanted to hear, and with that, he quickly dashed around the corner and out of sight. "Akane," Said Ford "try to find Ranma by the end of the day and if you should need me, I'll be staying at the Makona Boarding House." "Dammit" thought Akane. "I wish that Ranma care about something else than his stomach." She stopped in her tracks. The thought of Ranma made feel warm and dazed. She didn't notice that her hand was wandering down to her womanhood. We see Ranma as a Chibi-Style character running down the street stopping at each food stand momentarily to shovel food into his face. We see Akane is walking down a street with very few people walking about. The other people on the street are turning their heads trying not to look at her, for if they did, they would not be able to stop starring. As she walked, she occasionally turned her head this way and that, looking for Ranma. "Dammit. Where is Ranma." She said to herself. She still didn't realize that she was groping her breasts as she walked along. We see Ranma lying on the ground on top of a pile of empty Chinese food boxes. X's over his eyes and his tongue sticking out to the side of his head. He is obviously gorged. He stumbles up to his feet and tries to limp down the avenue. "Ugh!" he moaned "I'll never eat Chinese food again, even if Shampoo does offer me sex for it." Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a flashing neon sign. It reads "Dante's Inferno Room. Ask for group rates and senior citizen discounts!" Underneath it was another sign. "Males, Females, and everything in between. Naughty tentacle suites still available." "NANI?" Ranma thought. He walked closer to get a better look. The building was painted bright red and all the windows had shades pulled down. Ranma looks at the camera and makes a cheesy hentai grin. "Hey Adam, Nice Move!" He says into the camera as he walks in. A bell rings as he walks in the door. He walks up to the front desk. The manager is on the phone talking to a client. "I'm sorry ma'am, but Mr. Vegeta no longer comes here, he's dead ma'am. Thank you, good bye." He looked at Ranma. "Hi, can I help you...um...SIR?" Ranma was blushing a deep candy apple red, he had his hand behind his head. "Um, I, uh, um, I um, uh, I" his voice trailing off. The manager grinned and replied "Son, I understand completely! I would recommend that you just walk down the halls and find a vacant room that suits you. Someone will show up eventually." Ranma had decided that this was a very good idea. The element of surprise! No matter who showed up, he would have two forms to choose from. (Hint, Hint!) He began to scurry down the hallways. Many doors simply had piles of clothes and possessions next to them. The door to his right had a red pole and an orange and blue uniform on the floor. Up further was a door with a green school uniform and some armor. He put his ear to the door. The only thing he could clearly make out was a female voice shrieking "Give it to me Ferio!" Ranma swallowed hard. "Um, I guess I should steer clear of this one." He walked on. "Ah, yes, vacant!" he said as he saw an open door. He walked inside and remembered he had to go to the bathroom. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. "What the hell?!?" the door locked behind him. Akane was walking around extremely aroused and nothing to do about it. She needed it. She needed it bad. After a little more walking, she saw the familiar "fun house" ahead. She walked closer and read the neon sign. Two words came to her mind. "Thank God." As she walked in the door, she saw the manager at the desk "that man looks SO familiar." He took one look at her and noticed that she was practically radiating lust. "I...I can tell that you need to be screwed badly." He simply pointed towards the hallway and off she ran. She was franticly attempting to find a vacant door. "God Dammit!" she scowled as she saw that nearly every door had a "Do Not Disturb" sign. She finally saw an empty room. "Aha!" she thought to herself as she walked inside and locked the door behind her. She laid down on the bed and began to caress her size 36B breasts with both her hands. She could feel sexual energy and pleasure slowly being built up inside her. Then decided to actually remove her blouse. She unbuttoned each button one at a time, and then threw the garment into the corner. She then continued to frantically caress her soft, pink, fleshy mounds. "mmmm" she moaned softly. She unzipped her skirt, revealing her very tight panties and tossed it in the corner with her blouse. She hooked her thumbs under the elastic band of her panties and pulled them down ever so slowly exposing her well-formed ass. She gasped as the air touched her cunt, allowing her to smell her own musky scent. It was extremely intoxicating to her. She lowered her hands down to her womanhood. This was making her even more horny than she already was. She traced her opening and began to insert middle finger into her tight entrance. She rubbed small circles on and around her clit, building up immense sexual pleasure. Ranma, who had fell asleep in the locked bathroom, woke up to here a female voice moaning in his room. He had to see this for himself. He proceeded to brake the door down. After the third try, he burst through the shattered door and into the wall across from the bed. He an Akane's eyes met. Ranma had obviously just seen he was not ready to see. His eyes grew to the size of dinner plates and he attempted to hold back the blood flow to his nose. Akane had a gigantic sweat drop on the side of her head. "YOU PERVERT!" she screamed. "WHAT THE FUCK!?! Look who's talking ." shouted Ranma. "You're sittin there getting off in my own room!!" "Fuck You!" said Akane angrily. "Well, I see you're having no problem doing that!" laughed Ranma. Akane continued to throw out any insult or obscene phrase that she could. She noticed that Ranma wasn't paying attention. He had his mind on other things. Ranma was in a hallucinogenic daze as he stared at Akane's torso. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was to him. Her curvy figure, her soft breasts, her moist, tight... Akane was confused as hell. "Why the fuck is he being so quiet?" she thought "Oh my god! Is he starring at me?" She looked down at the crotch of his pants. There was a very large bulge forming in his loins. Akane began to feel very lusty towards him and she noticed that he was becoming very lusty towards her. Ranma slowly walked up to Akane and embraced her. They began to kiss passionately. He took her in his arms and walked her back to the bed. Akane laid down on the bed, taking Ranma with her. Ranma ran his hands slowly up and down her body. He lowered his mouth to her nipples, wrapping his warm lips around her left tit. He felt her nipple become hard in his mouth. Akane moaned happily. She got off of Ranma and lowered her head down to his pants. She undid his belt with her teeth and unzipped his pants slowly. She pulled out his fully erect cock. She took it to her lips and engulfed his thick tool. The flavor was intoxicating. (author is crying) She began to bob her head slowly up and down on his pole. She couldn't get the whole thing in her mouth so she used her hands on the rest of his dick to jack him off. Ranma was moaning. "OH MY GOD! This is amazing! Where the hell did you learn to do this!?!" Akane continued to suck, wrapping her tongue around the head. She felt his dick begin to twitch in her mouth as he shot his gooey load. But he didn't stop, he kept cumming for what seemed like hours to Akane. But she didn't care; she loved the intoxicating taste of his jizm. Ranma finally pulled out of Akane's mouth. Ranma couldn't hold it any longer, he had to taste Akane. He laid her against the bed and lowered his head between her legs. He spread her labia with his hands and began to lick her furiously. Akane moaned with ecstasy as he circled her clit with his invading tongue. She shoved his middle finger deep into her as he continued to lick her inner lips. Akane was rocking her hips in rhythm with his tongue movements. She was nearly there. Faster and faster Ranma rammed his finger in and out of his lover. "RRRAAANNNNMMMAAA!!!!!" she screamed his name as he hit orgasm. Akane fell over on Ranma in an almost unconscious sweaty heap. "OH My God!" Panted Ranma. "Please, lets take a break." End of part one. AUTHOR' S NOTES: Ha-Ha-Ha! Ha-Ha-Ha! Just goes to show you what you can do if your properly motivated. I was able to write this story in about 2 1/2 hours. Much of that time, my friends would think I was on crack. I do plan to write at least one more part to this, so expect a sequel. I know its not as nasty as some of the other stories I have read. This was my first attempt at lemon writing as you probably can tell. This is the part where I have to give credit to all the elements of the story that I stole from others. Ranma 1/2 is property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz communications. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and Ford Prefect are property of Douglas Adams. I am a true fan of his work. Magic Knight Rayearth is copyrighted by CLAMP. BeetleJuice was created by Tim Burton. Jim Carrey IS god. And finally, Dragon Ball Z is copyrighted by Akira Toriyama. My primary influences for the story are the works of David and Jerry Zucker. (the Naked Gun, Airplane, Baseketball. ) I have an extensive amount of fanfics on file, so if you would like copies or you have suggestions for upcoming works. E-mail me at adamy@usa.net.