fcasper "Life is like an Ice Cream Cone, You have to Learn to Lick it!" - Charlie Brown "THE SORDID SOUNDS OF SILENCE" OR "WHO SCREWED RANMA SAOTOME?" A Ranma 1/2 Lemon Fanfic From the Desk of Megane 6.7 This is a work of Fiction. All Characters and Landmarks, are the property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan Video, Kitty Films, Viz Video, Shonen Sunday, and anyone else who legally owns the rights. Warning: This fic contains scenes of explicit sexual activities and graphic language. If this type of fanfic offends you then now's the time to delete this file. Otherwise, enjoy and C&C is appreciated! ;) THE TENDO DOUJOU 8:05 A.M. Ranma Saotome groaned in pain as he struggled to make it to his feet. He had hoped that by morning, Akane's dinner last night would have finally settled in his stomach. Ranma had been in agony for half the night, only falling asleep when Genma smashed a giant sign over his head expressing his desire for Ranma to stop moaning in pain and let him sleep. Now as Ranma stretched out and started to walk unsteadily towards the door. He felt a presence in his room. "Pop? That you?" Ranma muttered sleepily as he glanced around for signs of life and found none. He began to wonder if Akane's cooking were starting to give him hallucinations when he sensed something falling towards him. He looked up and was more than a little surprised when a figure, dressed all in black and wearing a mask, suddenly fell into his arms. Ranma had a brief moment to blink in surprise before feeling a sharp pain in his left arm. Ranma glanced down at it to see a hypodermic needle finish injecting it's contents. That was the last image Ranma could decipher as he quickly lost consciousness.... * * * Perfume.... Ranma could smell it as he slowly began to regain consciousness. The fragrance was strangely familiar but he couldn't quite pinpoint the source. Then again, he was still regaining consciousness.... Ranma tried to open his eyelids, they felt heavier than lead but after a brief struggle he managed to raise them. For some reason his vision seemed to be distorted by some sort of black filter. It felt soft on his face and seemed to wrap around his head, stopping short at his nose and mouth. Ranma tried to feel the material only to discover that something was restraining his arms behind his back. Something very strong and tight since he found couldn't get free no matter how hard he tried. Ranma also discovered, much to his growing dismay, that his legs failed to move as well, although he couldn't tell if they were restrained since the filter prevented him from taking a good look. Likewise, his efforts were futile when he tried to sit up, push up or even lift his head. Finally, Ranma had recovered enough to once again feel a presence in the room which was good since Ranma had just about run out of patience. "Hey! Who's there? GET ME OUT OF THIS! What's going on? You'd better start talking! WHO'S THERE!?!" Ranma shouted. The presence in the room remained silent, either unable or unwilling to respond to Ranma's demands. Then Ranma felt the presence come closer, his highly trained battle sense alerting him to the figure's movements. He then felt the figure climb on top of him. The figure was soft and was wearing a very light material that felt like silk. Ranma knew the figure was a woman even before he felt her breasts rest upon his own chest. The smell of the perfume was a lot stronger now and Ranma could hear the sound of wild breathing, growing louder and louder in volume until he could feel it against his chest, then his neck, moving upwards to his chin, his lips and finally, after a long moment of hesitation, he felt it in his throat as the girl kissed him, once, twice, and then again, this time holding her lips against his own. Ranma didn't know what to do. He had fought plenty of battles before against incredible odds. Fought them and won time and time again. This battle had barely begun and Ranma was already at a major disadvantage. Until the girl had silenced him, he had continued to protest his capture, desperately trying to think of a way to escape, to prevent this from going any further than it already had when the girl's tongue was suddenly in his mouth and down his throat. Ranma's eyes went wide, completely unfamiliar with this sensation. Visions of Akane threatened to tear him apart as he tried to turn his head away only to have the girl gently place her hands against his cheeks. They were soft hands yet Ranma could feel strength in them. They caressed his cheekbones as her thumbs gently rested underneath Ranma's chin. Ranma then considered biting the tongue invading his mouth, hoping that would make her release the kiss.... But he couldn't do it. It was against his principles to hurt a girl for any reason, even in a situation this desperate. Instead, Ranma tried to push the girl's tongue out of his mouth using his own. At first he was successful, driving back the intruder from between his lips, but ended up going too far and accidentally placed it into her mouth. This produced a moan of pleasure that he couldn't identify but definitely belonged to a female. Then the girl's tongue seemed to come alive as it swirled and moved against his own. Ranma figured she must be testing the strength of his tongue and Ranma soon did the same to hers, hoping to learn it's weaknesses and test it's resolve. Time passed. Ranma continued to tongue wrestle with the girl, until it was sore and Ranma could barely move it around anymore. The girl seemed to sense this and finally removed her tongue from Ranma's mouth, ending the long-battle and then slowly got off him, the loss of body heat causing a mild chill to jolt Ranma's frame. Ranma breathed a sigh of relief, thinking the girl had finally given up when he soon felt something press between his lips again.....the rim of a glass.....he tasted cold water as it was tipped into his mouth, giving his parched throat and tongue much needed relief. "Glug....Thanks....Glug....." After he finished the glass of water. Ranma felt the girl climb on top of him again, much to his surprise. "HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE....?!?" The girl silenced him with a hand over his mouth. Then she slowly moved back and forth along his suddenly tense body. Ranma tried his best not to enjoy the sensations he was getting from her actions and only partially succeeded as he could feel a erection beginning to form. Ranma tried to clear his mind, to concentrate on something that would get his mind off sex. He almost succeeded by envisioning his female self with Kunou but found it difficult to concentrate as the girl started to loosen the strings on his shirt, pulling the knot free and exposing his chest. Ranma struggled, pulled, yanked, strained against the bonds that held him but to no avail. The girl then removed her hand from Ranma's mouth and savagely ripped his shirt open with both of her hands, tearing it in half and exposing his upper body. She followed this with a playful kiss on the tip of Ranma's nose. There was a short pause as she rose to a kneeling position, straddling Ranma, leaving him wondering what she would do next. He tried reasoning with her again, trying to find out whatever he could about his captor. The girl answered him with silence. Then he heard the sound of her hands rubbing together and then felt some liquid being poured onto his chest. Then again onto his abdominal muscles. Then Ranma felt the girl's hands begin to massage his body, her long slender fingers melting away the tension as his muscles began to relax and unknot themselves. Ranma's mind began to race furiously as he began to surrender himself to the sensations.... "Oh man! If Akane finds out about this, I'm dead! She would never treat me this nicely! Who could this girl be? Shampoo? Maybe.......This is the kind of trick she would pull to get me to marry her! Ukyou? No way. She loves me but she wouldn't go this far...would she? Nah. Besides she's not that kind of girl. Kodachi? Definite possibility....but I haven't heard that scary laugh of hers yet....Hinako? Nah. Why would she chase me now? Nabiki? Oh god, I hope not. Kasumi? What am I crazy? She's NEVER do this kind of thing! Hmm....Maybe it's that girl who ran that take-out race against me a while back....?" Ranma's train of thought was interrupted when the girl suddenly lowered her body again and Ranma could feel her bare breasts rubbing against his body, giving him a full body massage. He could feel her erect nipples pressing into his skin and he wondered when the girl had taken off her top. Probably while he was lost in thought. Ranma found himself relaxing, dispite the awkwardness of the situation and tried his best not to betray the enormous pleasure he was receiving from this. The girl seemed to sense that Ranma was finally giving in and continued to rub her soaked breasts against Ranma's chest while moving her hands up towards his throat. For a frightening moment, Ranma thought the girl was going to strangle him but instead she rubbed his throat with her liquid-coated hands. (Ranma still couldn't figure out what it was she was using) and soon added her tongue to the action. She then ran her tongue up Ranma's throat all the way to his lips, and back down again. She dragged her tongue down his muscled chest, licking up whatever she had used on his body. She stopped to pay extra special attention to his own nipples and belly button, the sensations nearly driving Ranma insane with lust. Ranma couldn't help it. After spending the last few hours trying to escape from this mystery girl, he finally gave in to the sensations she gave to him completely. Ranma moaned loudly in pleasure as the girl seemed to kiss and lick every square inch of his body. A picture of Akane flashed through his mind's eye but he forced it aside. For once he didn't want to think about that tomboy. For once he wanted to feel happy instead of feel guilty or fearful. Just this once, he was going to just lay back and enjoy it.... Then he felt his belt being unbuckled.... "WHOA!!! WAIT A SECOND.......WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!" Ranma's voice was a octave higher as he sensed close contact with his most prized possession. He could hear the girl giggle for a moment. Then felt his belt being pulled off and he redoubled his efforts to get free. Pleasure or no pleasure, he wasn't about to lose his virginity to a girl he couldn't even see. Ranma struggled even as he felt his pants being pulled down to his ankles, leaving him in boxer shorts. He still has an erection and he yelped in a most unmanly way when he felt her grip the base of his staff hard. W....W....Wait a sec! C....Can't we talk about this? I mean, I don't even know your name!" Ranma offered, trying not to sound desperate, dispite being completely at the girl's mercy. The girl gave him the usual response. Zilch. Nada. The Big Doughnut. Zero. None. Ranma sighed and then yelped again as she slowly pulled down his shorts, freeing his tool. There was another long pause. Ranma tried in vain to free himself and finally gave up, resigning himself to fate. He felt something wrap around on either side of his cock and rest on his groin area. They almost felt like her....breasts? Ranma had never heard of someone using their breasts to have sex. Then Ranma felt something warm drop around the head of his penis and Ranma's eyes grew to enormous size as he realized it was her mouth. He could feel her breath warming it and her tongue had already begun caressing the crown. Then she began to move her breasts against the shaft.... Ranma was about to learn the finer points of oral sex. "Oh g....god....This is incredible...." Ranma's eyes were nearly out of their sockets as the girl continued the blowjob. Ranma had never, ever, felt anything like this in his entire life. Living on the road with his pop most of his life had not given him a chance to brush up on his sex education and he would have rather died than ask his idiot father about it. The sensation of a girl sucking, massaging and licking his penis was new to him and he liked it....a lot! The only thing that kept him from completely enjoying it was the fact that he was pretty sure Akane wasn't giving it to him. Then again, he still had no idea who was doing this to him. Whoever it was, he could only hope that she didn't want to marry him afterwards.... Ranma cut off his thoughts as the girl licked the head of his swollen penis and then took it back in her mouth, swirling her tongue around it and sucking gently. Ranma felt something beginning to build and he begin to warn her but she didn't seem to hear him because she increased her actions causing the slow buildup to increase in speed dramatically. Then she took his penis out of her mouth and began to suck on his balls which made it that much harder to hold back. Ranma felt his eyes rolling back into his head as she alternated between his cock and balls, the sensations were unlike anything he could have imagined. Then he felt something soft push against his face. He could smell a strange odor, different from the perfume, and then the soft mass begin to push against his lips as if wanting something. Ranma carefully stuck out his tongue and tasted something weird. Whatever it was, it tasted better than Akane's cooking so he stuck his tongue in further. When he heard the girl moan loudly in pleasure, he decided to continue licking that area. Up till now he had wanted to escape but he knew that dispite the unusual circumstances, he was enjoying the sensations she was giving him and since she was giving him so much pleasure, it was only fair to do the same. The alternative was to attempt escape again, which he already knew was a fruitless gesture. So with these thoughts, he focused his full attention on the girl, putting his mouth and tongue to good use. This went on for a long time. Then he felt another buildup which he knew he couldn't hold back. Again he warned the girl and again she continued to suck on his cock. It was almost as if she wanted him to cum all over her face. Ranma stuck his tongue deeper into what he now assumed was her vagina and tried to match the girl's pace on him. Then Ranma couldn't hold back anymore and with a loud wheeze he came heavily into her mouth over and over, Ranma's head snapping back as lights exploded inside his head. He could feel her swallowing his tissue and then felt her pussy move against his face, requesting further attention. Ranma gave her what she wanted, his tongue running over and around the lips of her moist pussy when.... Ranma yelped in surprise as a rush of liquid splashed him in the face. "She must have came." Remembering that the girl took the time to clean him up, he figured it was only polite to do the same. He was almost finished when a second wave hit him in the face, this one a little smaller. Ranma, none the less, cleaned her again. For a long time the girl was motionless, he could feel her rapid heartbeat slowly return to normal along with his own. Ranma, desperate for any information at this point, tried to talk to her again. Please tell me who you are? I promise not to get mad. I just want to know who you are and why you're doing this?" The girl seemed to hesitate for a moment and then got off him. Ranma waited patiently, unable to do much else, and then she mounted him again. Ranma twitched as he realized she was completely naked this time. Ranma tried to ask his question again only to have the girl place a finger gently against his lips to silence him. Ranma moaned as he felt her massage his cock which was already growing hard with the sensation of her naked flesh against his. Ranma wondered if she was going to suck it again as he was soon fully erect under her experienced hands. The girl gripped him hard around the base again but this time she moved her body slightly upwards and then began to lower it again. Almost as if.... Ranma suddenly realized what she was going to do. This was the moment he feared since this entire fiasco began. Hours ago, he would have been doing everything possible to avoid it, to not betray Akane.... Ranma took a deep breath and braced himself as he felt the tip of his penis separate her love petals and sighed in pleasure as she slowly slide down the entire length. It was an incredible, weird feeling that Ranma couldn't put into words. Then she began to ride him, slowly at first then quickly picking up speed as they established a rhythm. He could feel the walls of her vagina throbbing and then they seemed to embrace his cock like a blanket, making her seem all the more tight. Ranma desperately wished he could use his arms to hold this girl as she rode him but whatever material she used to restrain him was doing an excellent job of it. Then Ranma began to feel himself building and before he knew it he was begging the girl to go faster as he grunted with both exertion and pleasure. The girl didn't disappoint as she sped up as fast as she could and twisted her body back and forth until he was ready to blow. "YYYYYESSS!!!!!" Ranma screamed with pleasure as he emptied himself into her. The girl continued to bounce a few more times and then, arching her back, she emitted a ear piercing shriek as she climaxed. After Ranma's ears stopped ringing, the girl collapsed on top of him, his penis still inside her as she began to doze off. Ranma would have used that opportunity to try and escape again if he hadn't fallen asleep as well.... The two lovers slept in each other's embrace, both had a expression of contentment and ecstasy on their faces as the sun slowly began to set.... * * * THE NEXT DAY Luckily for her, the girl came to first and saw Ranma was still asleep. She quickly dismounted Ranma, carefully pulling his cock out of her first and then began to get dressed. When she was finished, she carefully began to untie the bungee cords around Ranma's arms and knew the paralysis potion would wear off within the hour. As she finished untying his arms, she was more than a little surprised when Ranma suddenly wrapped his arms tightly around her waist in a grip she couldn't break. "Gotcha!" Ranma exclaimed with a smile, as he suddenly revealed himself to be fully awake. "I'll only let you go when you show me who you truly are!" The girl struggled in his embrace for a few moments then sighed and seemed to relent. As Ranma continued to trap her, the girl placed her hands against the black nylon and slowly undid the bindings until it was completely removed. Ranma blinked as the morning sunlight blinded him for a moment and then gasped as the girl who had seduced him revealed herself to be.... THE END There's another one in the can! I decided to end the story here and leave the solution to you just like Alfred Hitchcock did in "The Birds" This way, no one is disappointed with the end result. Of course, if you DO want a specific ending, e-mail me with C&C and which girl you'd prefer to see in the lemon and I'll write it. Sincerely, Megane 6.7 Founder of the Anything Goes Lemon School of Indiscriminate Groping P.S. You didn't really think I'd end the story like that did you? ;p The girl struggled in his embrace for a few moments then sighed and seemed to relent. As Ranma continued to trap her, the girl placed her hands against the black nylon and slowly undid the bindings until it was completely removed. Ranma blinked as the morning sunlight blinded him for a moment and then gasped as the girl who had seduced him revealed herself to be.... Kodachi "The Black Rose" Kunou.... "Ko....Ko....Kodachi?!?!? Ranma said in a strangled voice. "All this time.....It was you?" "Hai." Kodachi replied, looking ashamed as she bowed her head in apology. Ranma wanted to ask a million questions at once. One rose to the top of the list. "Why?" Kodachi's face was full of regret and sorrow as she replied. "Because.....I was afraid I was losing you. It all started when I tried to show that photo of us in a loving embrace.... *Flashback* THE KUNOU BATHS Kodachi peeked into the bath and was more than a little surprised to see Ranma Saotome, beating the crap out of her brother. Kodachi briefly wondered where the pig-tailed girl had gone but quickly forgot about it as she rushed into the bath to embrace her love. "Oh Ranma-Sama! How wonderful you should visit me here in my own humble abode!" Kodachi cried out with joy as she latched onto Ranma with a death grip. Ranma had a look of dismay on his face as he tried to escape Kodachi's *loving* embrace. "Oh man! I don't have time for this!" Ranma growled as he managed to pry Kodachi's hands off his body and ran out of the baths at top speed. "Ranma-Sama! Wait!" Kodachi cried out in vain as she attempted to follow him only to lose sight of Ranma as she emerged from the baths. "W....Why did you run from me?" Kodachi spoke the words aloud as she fell to her knees in sorrow. Then she reached into her kimono and pulled out one of the photos she had kept for herself and stared at it lovingly. "Ranma-Sama....What cruel twist of fate hinders our coming together as one? Am I not a woman in your eyes? I, who declared my undying devotion to you for all the world to hear? I, who was willing to give myself soul and body to you the first night we met upon the rooftops of destiny? Why? Why do you run from my loving embrace? Is it the promise that was shoved down your throat by your father and the father of that wicked, wicked girl, Akane Tendo? Kodachi raised her head, her face full of wonder and enlightenment. "That MUST be it! Oh Ranma-Sama! Your sense of honor is so great that it cannot be wavered even by your unspoken love for me! You feel you must keep your engagement to Akane, even if the very thought disgusts me....I mean you. An expression of bliss passed over Kodachi's features as she slowly rose to her feet. "Ranma-Sama can't express his feelings for me openly without forsaking his family honor. However, if I were to take away his choice in the matter, and at the same time protect my identity until it no longer mattered.... Kodachi made her way back inside the Kunou household and walked upstairs to her room, a plan beginning to form itself in the twisted fantasy that was Kodachi's imagination. "Yes....I believe this plan will do just fine...." *End Flashback* "So you see....I have given you an alternate solution to your problem and now we can finally be together!" Kodachi exclaimed with joy as she embraced Ranma, her previous sorrow having vanished instantly. "She's completely insane!" Ranma wisely thought to himself. "I....I see." Ranma spoke aloud. Then he noticed several video cameras strategically placed around the room and pointed towards the bed. "YOU TAPED US!?!?!" Ranma screeched in disbelief. "H...Hai?" Kodachi replied, frightened at Ranma's volume. "This is VERY bad. Kodachi's got me right where she wants me. I could smash all the cameras and burn the video tapes....but who knows how many secret cameras she has hidden away?! I've got to do something or I'm a dead man!" Ranma thought to himself. "You hate me.....don't you?" Kodachi asked in a low voice. Ranma sighed. "No. I don't hate you. In fact, I really enjoyed what we did. A lot. I just wish you would have asked me instead of resorting to these measures." "You mean you would have come to me willingly?" Kodachi was surprised. "Probably not but that still didn't give you the right to do what you did. I should be VERY angry at you right now but for some reason I'm not. I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it but I want it to stay between us. No blackmail schemes, got it?" "Well now that depends...." Kodachi hummed. "ON WHAT?!?" Ranma demanded to know. "How often do you plan to see me now that we've been intimate with each other?" Ranma began to sweat. This wasn't going to be as easy as he thought. "I....I can't leave Akane. It's a matter of...." "Honor. Yes I'm aware of that. Well then, if I can't have you as a husband then a lover will do just as well!" "L....Lover?!" "I know you never really had any interest in me before, Ranma, and to be honest I just wanted your body. So now that we've made sweet love I figure once a week should be enough to fulfill our desires until we are properly married to our respective mates." Kodachi finished with a smile. "Are you out of your....I mean....I just can't...." Ranma faltered. "Of course I COULD simply release the tape to the public as another symbol of our love...." Kodachi said in a not-so-kind tone of voice. Ranma sighs. He knows that he is in over his head and that he has little choice in the matter. "Okay, I promise if you promise never to tell Akane or anyone else what we do ever! That includes keeping that video tape to yourself!" "Agreed! Now that we've settled our differences, shall we have another go before we leave for school?" "O....Okay." As Kodachi began to quickly undress, Ranma marveled on how much his life has changed in the past 24 hours. He had just been screwed in more ways than one and he was about to be screwed again. But Ranma could definitely think of a worse fate than having to make love to Kodachi once a week. True, this arrangement would definitely put a strain on his relationship with Akane but the way Ranma figured it, after all the hell he had been through since coming to Nerima, he deserved something for his pains.... THE END The moral of this story? Better to die for a few moments of pleasure than to live forever in endless grief. OR Love if you can, Leave if you must, but always cheat. This idea came to me while reading all of the posts that are encouraging the Kodachi/Ranma serious fic to be written. BTW, if anyone is interested I have a synopsis for a serious story featuring Kodachi and Ranma that I never got around to writing. It features Kodachi trying out for the 1996 Summer Olympics and has Ranma joining her in Atlanta and dwells into the character of Kodachi. Anyone who is interested in writing this, please e-mail me privately and I'll give you the synopsis. I'd really like to see it written and since I already have three or four other stories to catch up on, I don't have the available time to write it. I hope you enjoyed this and any C&C would be greatly appreciated! :) *BONUS!!!* Okay! Here are the alternate endings! The ones that were never intended to be written! Enjoy! ALTERNATE ENDING #1 Nabiki Tendo.... "N....N....Nabiki!?!?" Ranma exclaimed in disbelief. "That's right Ranma. Thanks for the lay but I must be going to school now. I suggest you do the same before people get suspicious" Nabiki replied in a calm voice as she threw Ranma's clothes at him. Ranma wanted to ask a million questions at once. One rose to the top of the list. "Why?" Nabiki smirked. "Because I wanted a piece of you before you marry Akane of course. Don't worry, I won't breathe a word to Akane in exchange for a FEW choice favors that you can perform for me.... And so Ranma found himself performing all of Nabiki's dirty work, earning a reputation almost as bad as Nabiki's for ruthlessness. Ranma had many more pleasant encounters with Nabiki, until Akane caught them together in the bath one stormy night.... The rest of this story can be summed up in one word: Seppuku THE END ALTERNATE ENDING #2 Shampoo.... "Shampoo....I had a feeling it might be you." Ranma sighed. Shampoo gleefully hugged Ranma. "Ranma love Shampoo then? Ranma ready to marry Shampoo and move to China?" Ranma hesitated. While he had suspected that Shampoo was responsible for this, he was now having second thoughts. Shampoo was a handful to be sure and he wasn't sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and the old ghoul. On the other hand, all Shampoo had to do was tell Akane that she and him had made love and the engagement was over anyway. "Uh....Sure." Ranma replied weakly, knowing he really never had a choice in the first place. "Ai Ren! WO AI NI!!!" As expected, Akane was less than thrilled that Ranma has chosen to marry Shampoo. Genma demanded that Ranma change his mind and when he refused, he begs to come with him. Ranma had the all-too-brief satisfaction of kicking him into LEO before taking off to China to marry Shampoo. From that day on, life was never boring for Ranma and while it was a good life, Ranma couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he and Akane had finally managed to get along. THE END ALTERNATE ENDING #3 Ukyou Kuonji.... "UCCHAN?!?!" Ranma couldn't believe his own eyes. He never would have guessed that she was capable of such a thing. It seemed underneath the innocent cute okonomiyaki chief burned an intense passion that until now had been dormant. Ukyou managed to free herself of his grasp and had her back turned to him. "Why did you do it?" Ranma wanted to know. Ukyou was silent for a long moment before replying. "I....I don't know....I've fantasized about it for a long time but until now I never had the guts or nerve to try it. It's...." Ukyou took a deep breath and continued. "It's almost like I was being controlled by a sadistic puppetmaster. My desire for you became so intense I couldn't help myself. I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't make love to you and I was too embarrassed to ask you directly....I'm so sorry Ranchan. Can you ever forgive me? Ranma turned his head away. "I....I don't know if I can Ucchan. Until now I've always considered you to be my best friend, someone I could trust and count on. Now that's we've....been intimate, I don't know if I can go back to the way things were.... "Who says we have to?" Ukyou replied. Ranma looked at Ukyou with surprise. "You can't mean....?!" Ukyou walked back over to Ranma and gently stroked the bangs of his hair. "This isn't the way I wanted us to come together, but I'm willing to keep this a secret if you are. The question you have to ask yourself is what you want most in life." Ranma shook his head. "This isn't that simple...." Ukyou laughed. "Of course it is. This is a lemon story, remember? Ranma blinked. He had almost forgotten about that. And here he was worrying about the future. What a fool! "You're right! Why should I care about the future when the present is right here. The past is in the past! Let's live each day as if it were our last and.... "Ranchan...." "Hm?" "Shut up and kiss me." Ukyou quickly leaps on top of Ranma, Ranma wastes no time and turned over to lie on top of Ukyou, his legs having finally recovered from whatever drug she used on him. They share a long and passionate kiss, their tongues moving in and out of each others mouths as they hold each other close. Then Ranma spreads Ukyou's legs wide and prepares to enter her. Ukyou gasps as Ranma's tool roughly enters her slick vagina. Ukyou yelps in pain but soon is in ecstasy as Ranma pounds his hips against hers, his cock going deeper and deeper into her. Ranma takes the time to fondle and kiss Ukyou's breasts as he relentlessly pounds his tool inside her while Ukyou's nails tear deep trenches in his back. Ranma soon cums, filling her with his hot sperm while Ukyou arches her back and lets loose a long screech that threatens to shatter the lens of the video cameras. Then Ranma collapses on top of her as his erection begins to fade and he finds himself falling asleep again. Ranma rests his head against Ukyou's breasts as they both drift off to sleep in each other's arms. "Ucchan...." "Ranchan...." "Can I ask you a question?" "Sure." "When I wake up, will this be a dream?" "If it is, let's hope we never wake up." THE END ALTERNATE ENDING #4 Akane Tendo.... "Still think I'm a sexless uncute tomboy?" Akane proclaimed with triumph. Ranma had trouble finding his voice. While a part of him had wished that he was making love to Akane, he never actually thought it was her. "Uh....Nope." was the only thing Ranma could think of to say. Akane seemed insulted by his lack of enthusiasm. "I sure hope so Ranma, because it's the last time you'll ever touch me again. "Huh?" Akane smiled and as she did, Dr. Tofu suddenly emerged from the corner of the room, a dazed expression on his face as if Kasumi was in the room. "Dr. Tofu? Akane, what the hell is going on here?!?" To his shock, Akane wrapped her arms around Dr. Tofu's neck and replied. "Dr. Tofu and I are getting married. "WHAT?!?!?" Ranma couldn't believe his ears or his eyes. Akane gave a quick kiss to Tofu's lips before replying. "You see Ranma. I never stopped loving Dr. Tofu, I've wanted him all my life and now I have him. You see the problem was that I knew you would never be able to give me up willingly. So I arranged it so I could have your child and preserve the Tendo/Saotome family line while marrying the man of my choice. Now that I have your seed inside me, I don't need you anymore. "Akane, this can't be you! You never act like this!" "You're right. I didn't have the will or the strength to do what needed to be done. But then I made a little deal that gave me the ability to not only have Dr. Tofu fall desperately in love with me but at the same time solve my fiancee problem once and for all. "Wait a minute! What deal?!?" "Akane smiled and a moment later Happosai emerged from behind Akane." "The old lech? What the....?!?" "Simple. He washed my hair with formula 134 and removed all of my inhibitions. I was then able to use the same formula with Dr. Tofu and *convinced him* to stay with me. Dad had objections of course, but Ms. Hinako *persuaded* him to see things my way. Ranma was speechless. Akane smiled as she continued. "Happy, Why don't you give Ranma a glimpse of his own fate?" Happosai produced a jug of water from beneath his clothes and dumped it over Ranma's head. A moment later a sputtering Ranma-Chan was in his place. "Hey! What'd you do that.....no....." Ranma's jaw dropped as he recognized the pot that Happosai dumped over him.... It was the Chisuiton. "NOOOOO!!!!" Ranma-Chan screamed with horror, realizing he was now stuck in female form. "Oh yes...." Akane replied with sadistic glee. "And once Happosai has washed your hair with the formula 134, you'll be more than happy to give him all the pleasure he could ever want for the rest of his life. See ya! Akane turned to leave with the still dazed Dr. Tofu while Happosai slowly walked towards Ranma-Chan, the bottle of 134 and a comb in his hand. "NO!!!! STOP!!! AKANE, COME BACK!!!! THIS IS GOT TO BE A NIGHTMARE!!!! A NIGHTMARE!!!! NOOOO!!!! And so Akane moved into Dr. Tofu's clinic and together they both raised Ranma's child and five more of their own. They both lived happily ever after. As for Ranma-Chan....well....I think we know what happened to her without having to go into great detail. THE END ALTERNATE ENDING #5 Cologne.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! It was later revealed that Ranma died of a massive heart attack combined with excessive vomiting and loss of sight. The funeral for Ranma was massive as every single male in Japan came to pay their respects while silently thinking. "Thank GOD that wasn't me!" THE END ALTERNATE ENDING #6 Kasumi Tendo.... Ranma was speechless. If he had to guess who the identity of his captor was, Kasumi's name would have been at the bottom of the list, right after Cologne. "So Ranma, what did you think of my performance?" "It....It was....great!" Ranma blurted out, unable to think of a better compliment. "I'm so glad you like it!" Kasumi replied in a cheerful voice. Tell me, would you like a backrub now before you go back to school?" Ranma smiled. A backrub sounded perfect right about now. "Sure thing!" Ranma replied enthusiastically. Kasumi smiled as she turned Ranma over on his back. As Ranma waited for Kasumi's loving touch, he could hear a strange sound behind him, like something metal was being sharpened. "Kasumi? Is that you?" Ranma glanced behind him and was paralyzed with fear when he saw Kasumi welding a double edged axe, still looking calm and cheerful as ever. "HERE'S A HINT...." "THWACK!!!!!!" "Betray my sister will you?" "THWACK!!! THWACK!!! THWACK!!!" THE END Note: Kasumi "The Axe Murderess is the brainchild of Webdragon. I used it without his permission and I regret nothing. :) ALTERNATE ENDING #7 Lum.... "What the...??!?" Ranma exclaimed. "You're not even supposed to be in this series!?!" "Does that bother you?" Lum replied. "Not really, now that you mention it. But what about Ataru?" "Fuck him." "Cool." THE END ALTERNATE ENDING #8 (This specific ending was sent in by H. Torrance Griffin after the original posting of this story on the FFML. I decided to add it to the story since I found it amusing.) Saotome Nodoka .... "O-Okaasan?!?" Ranma finally choked out after several moments of shocked silence. "Yes Ranma," Nodoka smiled as she slid out of his grip, "I trust you enjoyed yourself?" "Ah... er... Yes... NO!.. Akane... Pop... Why?" The boy edulicated eloquently. *sigh* "After everything that has happened to you... after seeing the way Genma had backslid while raising you... I had my doubts that you could fulfill the promises made in you name." Nodoka then turned and gazed upon her son with what would have been described as a motherly expression if she were not buck naked and reeking of sex. "So I had a private talk with Akane-chan," she continued, "and she agreed to let me test you; and before you ask, your father had _no_ say in the matter." "Um... did I....um...." Ranma asked his mother as he blushed crimson. "Pass? Certainly my son!" Nodoka said with noticeable pride, "You are truly a man among men and will make Akane-chan a _very_ happy woman...." Ranma let out the breath he had been holding and began to glance around for something to cover himself with when he noticed his mother reaching behind the bed for something. "... that is," Nodoka continued as she brought the handcuffs into view and leered at the boy, "once your 'training' is finished of course." THE END And finally a couple of outtakes! Enjoy! OUTTAKES Ranma's train of thought is interrupted as the girl begins to rub oil on him. She appeared to be good at it since Ranma's tense muscles began to relax and unknot themselves. Dispite his predicament, Ranma was starting to relax as the girl turned him over and began to knead his back with her long slender fingers...........) [CUT!] Ranma: What's wrong?! Kodachi: Why do we stop now? [Wait a minute! How can Kodachi turn Ranma over when his ankles are shackled to the bed?] Kodachi: Just work with me here! If I'm oiling his front it makes sense to oil his back as well! [Come on Kodachi! We can't have an inconsistency like that. Not even for a lemon story.] Kodachi: (growling in her throat) Oh fine! Ruin the mood why don't you? [Trans-dimentional VCR rewinding the previous scene.........] [And....ACTION!] (Ranma's train of thought is interrupted as the girl begins to rub oil on him. She appeared to be good at it since Ranma's tense muscles began to relax and unknot themselves. Dispite his predicament, Ranma was starting to relax when the restraints on his ankles were suddenly removed and Ranma found himself being spun onto his back. Ranma realized this was his only chance to escape and tried to get to his feet only to have the girl sit on the back of his legs long enough to put the restraints back on his ankles and began to knead his back with her long slender fingers........) [CUT!] Kodachi: (irritated) What's wrong now? [Ranma is a top notch martial artist! If he was that desperate to escape he would whether you were sitting on his legs or not! You'll have to think of something else.] Kodachi: Well what do you suggest, Ranma-Sama? Ranma: Who gives a shit? I just wanna be fucked! Kodachi: (smiles) I know baby. (turns to glare at the director) CAN WE JUST DO THIS OR ARE YOU STILL WATCHING PORNO'S FOR REFERENCE MATERIAL? [Watch it Kodachi. Or would you rather be making love to Akane?] Kodachi: (shocked) WHAT! I'm not a............ [In this story, you're anything I want you to be. So I suggest you stop complaining and find a way to do this before I rewrite this whole story into a all-lesbian sexfest. I can see the title now......"The Black Rose Gets a Little Thorny"] Kodachi: (furious) You wouldn't dare! [Oh no?] (Scene opens in the bedroom of Kodachi. Kodachi lies in ecstasy as Shampoo, Ukyou, Akane, Ms. Hinako, Azuza, Kasumi, Nabiki, Nokoda and Cologne proceed to lick honey from her trembling naked body..............) Kodachi: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! JUST END THIS!!!! (The harem of Ranma 1/2 women vanish except for Kodachi. Kodachi is dressed in her school uniform again and breathes a sigh of relief.) [Any more complaints?] Kodachi: (fearfully) N..No. [Okay, let's take it from the top of the oil scene. Ranma? You ready yet?] Ranma: I've been ready for the last half hour! Let's shoot this fucker already! [Right. And......ACTION!] THE END. THE REAL END THIS TIME. SERIOUSLY! IT'S OVER! NO MORE TO SEE!