Aikan Muyo
Chapter 1 - No Need For Fantasies


     "Why should I escort you
      To your secret needs?
      Climbing up your ladder
      I keep falling down...

      Morning daydream, midnight fever,
      Morning daydream, midnight fever,
      Inhibitions keep you from your point of view,
      Information needing to confuse.
      In this situation I have found you,
      In the rhythm of
      Morning daydream, midnight fever,
      Morning daydream, midnight fever,
      Rhythm of love,
      Rhythm of love."
        -- "Rhythm of Love", Yes


"Jeez, will they ever lay off?" groaned Tenchi as he sat down on his
bed and put on his kimono. It seemed lately that his houseguests were
giving him no rest and even less privacy.

Yesterday morning, for instance, Washuu had insisted on trying to
extract something called an "inverse-astral post-coital emission
sample," which somehow entailed exactly the same thing as the last
dozen or so "samples" Washuu had tried to get from him. He'd escaped
again, but barely. He knew he'd have to take some very careful
precautions, this morning, if he luck was to hold out.

He was rather curious about the costumes, though. After apparently
becoming bored with the nurse's outfit, Washuu had tried a string of
others: schoolteacher, O.L., and a few Tenchi preferred not to
remember. It would be interesting to see what she'd come up with this
morning, but he wasn't sure if finding out was worth the risk.

Ryoko was, in her own way, even worse. At least he only really needed
to worry about Washuu when he visited her lab. Ryoko could turn up
*anywhere*. Especially when he was bathing, or using the toilet, or
undressing... Tenchi quickly glanced around the room and sighed with
relief on not seeing Ryoko's head poking out of the ceiling, the
floor, or one of the walls. Earlier that morning she'd popped up
("Ohayo, Tenchi!") while he'd been urinating, resulting in him having
to clean both his pants and the bathroom floor.

And whenever Ryoko appeared, Aeka was sure to turn up momentarily,
with the usual apocalyptic results. At least she didn't sneak up on
him and grab him. She was much too shy and demure, too well-mannered
and proper, to do that. Well-mannered and proper, at least, until
Ryoko made her angry. Then her tongue turned acid, and the gentle
princess' violence matched that of the space pirate she hated so much.

Tenchi sighed, wondering why his life had to be so difficult. He
walked out of his bedroom, and closed the door behind him.

"Miya!" greeted Ryo-oh-ki, who'd been patiently waiting outside.

He bent down and petted the cabbit. "Ohayo, Ryo-oh-ki!"

"Miya!" she answered. Then she quickly hopped away at top speed,
without bothering to beg him for a carrot. Tenchi shrugged, then
yawned and stretched, looking forward to a nice soak in the tub to
start his day.

Ryo-oh-ki scrambled frantically down the stairs and made her way
towards the women's bath. She leaped, smacked into the door, and
leaped again, phasing through it on the second try.

"Miya!!" announced the cabbit.

Aeka nodded. "They're by the towels."

Ryo-oh-ki bounded over to a pile of a dozen carrots and began eagerly
devouring them, while Aeka got up and moved towards the door. She
opened it carefully, and looked around. Then she slowly shut it.

But not quite all the way.

Tenchi walked downstairs groggily, still in the process of waking up.

"Ohayo, Tenchi!" greeted Sasami.

"Ohayo, Sasami-chan," replied Tenchi, yawning again. He sniffed the
air. "That smells good. What's for breakfast?"

"Nothing special, mostly," said the princess. Then she smiled. "But I
made the soup with Kyoto miso this morning, just for you!"

"Thanks, Sasami-chan!"

Now mostly awake, Tenchi headed towards the men's bath. When he got
there, he rubbed his eyes and opened the door, not noticing that it
was already ajar.

His eyes widened, and he froze.

The door had opened into the *women's* bath. Hadn't Washuu said that
it wasn't supposed to do that, when a man opened the door? For a
moment he considered checking to be sure he possessed all the
requisite equipment. But something else he saw grabbed his complete
attention.

Aeka stood at the edge of the bath, her back to him, timidly dipping
her foot into the water to test the temperature.

Tenchi watched, knowing he shouldn't, but unable to stop himself.

Her face hidden from his view, Aeka smiled. She started to patiently
undo her obi.

Sweat beaded on Tenchi's brow.

Aeka hesitated for just a moment. She'd heard the door open, and it
hadn't shut yet. Any of the other girls would have come in by now.
That left only three possibilities. She hoped it wasn't Katsuhito. And
she really, really, *really* hoped it wasn't Noboyuki. She reached up
to the neckline of her kimono, deciding to risk it.

Perspiration covered Tenchi's forehead and cheeks, and flowed down his
neck in miniature rivers.

The kimono started to come off, exposing Aeka's bare shoulders very
slowly.

Tenchi gulped and stood there, trembling.

Aeka pulled an arm out of the kimono, and began sliding out of it,
providing him with a glimpse of her graceful form.

Blood trickled from Tenchi's nose, and he shut the door as swiftly and
as quietly as he could.

But not quietly enough. Hearing the door close again, Aeka sighed.
Then she frowned and stamped her foot. "Kuso!" she swore, frustrated.
Shedding her kimono completely, she slid into the water, her
expression annoyed and disappointed.

It took a few minutes for Tenchi to muster the courage to open the
door again. This time, it opened into the men's bath. Greatly
relieved, he let out his breath and went inside. He closed the door
and filled the tub, then got in.

As Tenchi sat in the hot water, he cursed at himself. What had he been
*thinking*, standing there watching Aeka? That was the kind of
behavior he expected from his *dad*, not himself! He was very glad the
princess apparently hadn't noticed him. If she had, she probably
wouldn't have spoken to him for at least a week, maybe even a month.
And if someone else had come across him, it would have looked like the
whole thing had been deliberately planned. He could never have lived
it down.

Once he was finished, he went upstairs, got dressed, and came back
down. He headed into the kitchen, and saw that Sasami was just about
done. She turned and smiled at him.

"Oh, Tenchi, could you go tell Washuu that breakfast is ready?" she
asked.

Tenchi sweated, then steeled himself. "OK, Sasami, I'll get her." He
walked over towards the stairs, and slowly opened the door to Washuu's
lab. Before he went inside, he took off his slippers and placed them
in the door jamb so it wouldn't close all the way.

The lab's usual occupant was nowhere to be seen. 

"Uh, Washuu-chan, time for breakfast!" Tenchi announced nervously,
walking towards the console where she sat most often.

With no warning at all, a plush chair slid underneath him from behind,
knocking him off his feet. A seatbelt fastened around his waist by
itself. He grimaced and tugged at it desperately, but he couldn't open
it. 

Washuu stepped out of the shadows of her lab, wearing a tight, skimpy
stewardess uniform and an immense grin.

"Welcome aboard Air Washuu, the most scientifically-advanced airline
in the *universe*!"

"Hey! Let me out of this thing, Washuu!" he protested.

Washuu shook her head. A long metal appendage snaked out of nowhere
and firmly pressed a foam pad over Tenchi's mouth. "All passengers,
please remain quiet during the routine safety inspection."

Probes and scanners hovered around him, poking and prodding him while
emitting beeps and hums and glowing in various colors.

Washuu stood at her console, examining the displays. "Hmmm... astral
pattern, genetic pattern, alpha and beta wave profiles, parallel
dimensional pattern, hentai pattern..."

She frowned and kicked the console.

"Hentai pattern..."

The graph on the screen remained completely flat.

"Hentai pattern...!"

Still no blips.

Washuu shook her head and saved the scans. Then she stood in front of
Tenchi again. "Now, please pay close attention to the stewardess. Her
information will assure you a safe and pleasurable trip with Air
Washuu!"

She waved a plastic-covered sheet of safety instructions, and Tenchi
swallowed nervously.

"In the event of an emergency, or whenever you feel like it, grab onto
your stewardess. She can be used as a floatation device. And for lots
of *other* things, too!"

Tenchi's eyes bulged in fear. The sweat covering his skin made him
wish he had time to take another bath. 

Washuu held up a respirator dangling from a hose, and placed it
against her face.

"Should you experience heavy breathing, an oxygen mask will drop from
the compartment above you. Place it over your face and keep doing
whatever you were doing."

Tenchi made loud "mmfff!!" noises as Washuu picked up a handful of
glossy brochures.

"If you'd like to sign up for our Mile High Club Frequent Flier
Program, your stewardess will be happy to give you the details, and
anything *else* you want. You can begin enjoying the membership
benefits immediately!"

Washuu stood directly in front of Tenchi, who squirmed and struggled
frantically, putting all his strength into a hopeless escape attempt.

"You'll be blasting off shortly, and rising to an altitude of
about..." she looked down between his legs "... sixteen centimeters.
If you'd like to have some refreshments, tell the stewardess. And if
you'd like to have the stewardess, don't hesitate to ask."

The muffling restraint over Tenchi's mouth was removed. Washuu took
out a notepad and pen, her broad smile flashing. 

"Coffee?" she asked.

"No," answered Tenchi.

"Tea?"

"No."

"Me?"

"No."

"New regulations require a sperm sample from all passengers prior to
departure." She grinned a very evil-looking grin. "Your stewardess
will be happy to extract the sample by whatever method you prefer."

"No!" argued Tenchi.

"Would you like me to take the sample manually?" she asked.

"No!!" he answered loudly, suddenly feeling a lot of sympathy for the
frog he'd dissected in biology class the previous week. His mind
filled with a vision of his penis floating in a jar of formaldehyde.

Washuu smiled. "Then you want me to do it orally?"

"No!!!" yelled Tenchi, swearing he'd never again enter Washuu's lab,
no matter what the reason.

"Alright, then!" shouted Washuu, starting to hike up her skirt. "The
first-class section mile-high club special -- full intercourse!"

"Tenchi!" called Sasami from the door. "Washuu! Aren't you going to
come eat? Breakfast is getting cold!"

Washuu blinked. "How was she able to open that?" she muttered to
herself.

"Are these your slippers, Tenchi?" asked Sasami, holding them up.

"Yes, thank you!" he replied, sighing with relief. "Can you bring them
here, please?"

"Sure, Tenchi!" she answered cheerfully, walking over to him.

Washuu smirked and went over to her console. She typed for a second or
so, and the seatbelt around Tenchi's waist unfastened. The chair slid
out from underneath him and dumped him unceremoniously onto the floor.

He got up and beat a very hasty retreat out of the lab. Washuu sat
down, typing furiously.

"Won't you come eat breakfast with us, Washuu?" asked Sasami.

The scientist shook her head. "Sorry, but I've got a very important
experiment I need to have ready by tomorrow morning," she replied.
"Can you bring my breakfast down here?"

"Sure!" answered the princess, watching the displays. Diagrams of
various strangely-shaped objects flashed in rapid succession. "Hey, I
know what that is! I watch it all the time on TV!"

"You *do*?" asked Washuu, grinning fiendishly as she worked.

"Uh-huh. It's really cool! Can I watch your experiment while I eat
breakfast?"

"If you want," Washuu replied, as she entered the simplest of the
necessary equations. It had only 2,037 different variables, so she
really didn't need a computer to solve it, but she wanted to be
thorough this time.

"Thanks! I'll be right back!" promised Sasami, skipping towards the
door and humming a tune. When she reached the threshold, she finished
her song and struck a strange pose. Then she continued out. As she
went into the kitchen, Tenchi and Noboyuki were standing in the living
room, arguing.

"I *mean* it, dad!" said Tenchi angrily.

"But, Tenchi, she's our guest! You can't be rude to her like that!"
protested Noboyuki.

"Dad, she tries this every morning. It's scaring the hell out of me!"

Noboyuki shook his head sadly. "Your mother would be really ashamed of
you, Tenchi, to see how you're so shy around women."

"That's not the point! Just because she's a girl doesn't mean I have
to let her make me into a lab rat!"

"I think you're overreacting."

"Oh, really? Alright, from now on, *you* go tell her when breakfast is
ready."

Noboyuki smiled. "OK, I will. *I'm* not afraid of the ladies, like my
poor son is. Maybe you'll learn a valuable lesson from this."

"Yeah, right," muttered Tenchi, as his dad went out the front door. As
he went into the kitchen, Sasami passed him, carrying a tray, and
headed towards the lab. His mind wandering a bit, Tenchi sat down at
the table.

"Ohayo, Tenchi!" greeted two voices. He looked around, and stifled a
groan.

It was just him, Ryoko, and Aeka. And that meant that breakfast was
almost certainly going to involve an argument, perhaps even turn into
a violent confrontation.

"Ohayo," he replied nervously.

Tenchi sipping his miso soup in silence, still tense from his brief
trip with Air Washuu. And, well aware of who was at the table with
him, he made sure to be constantly ready to dodge, duck, or run. If
Sasami hadn't reminded him earlier, he wouldn't have noticed that
she'd used his favorite kind of miso -- Kyoto, the white, sweet kind.
Across from him, Aeka and Ryoko sat, picking at their food and
watching him.

After a while, Ryoko stared at him. She pursed her lips for a moment,
kissing the air. Then she picked up her chopsticks and licked them
before laying them back down across her rice bowl.

Tenchi winced at the angry look Aeka gave Ryoko. Ignoring them, he
finished his soup.

Ryoko grasped one of her chopsticks and licked it again. She let out a
long, seductive "Mmmmm....." as she slid it partway into her mouth.
She began sucking on it noisily, her lips slowly moving up and down
its length. During all of this, her eyes never left Tenchi, promising,
pleading, and he couldn't tear his gaze away.

Aeka ground her teeth and glared at her. Ryoko's lips curved into a
smile, the chopstick still held firmly between them, as she began to
moan around the shaft of slick, lacquered wood.

Tenchi blushed and sweated, still unable to avert his eyes.

Furious, Aeka smashed her fist down on the table, making all of the
dishes bounce and spilling drops of soup and grains of rice from the
bowls.

Ryoko stifled a laugh, almost as pleased with Aeka's reaction as she
was with Tenchi's. She looked down at the soup that had splashed out
of her bowl, and another idea occurred to her. Tenchi sighed with
relief as she put the chopstick down on her rice bowl again. She
looked over at Aeka, grinned for moment, and picked up her soup bowl.

Ryoko brought it up to her mouth, and took a small sip. She lowered
the bowl, and she and Tenchi watched each other as she let a few white
pearls of soup trickle out of the corner of her mouth. She allowed
them to dribble almost down to her chin before her pink tongue snaked
out and caught them. She ran her tongue around her lips, and let out
another sultry "Mmmmm..."

Next to her, Aeka clenched her fists.

Tenchi just sat there, catatonic, wishing Sasami had used Tohoku or
Hatchou or *any* other kind of miso, except Kyoto.

Smiling, Ryoko brought the bowl up again, and lapped at it like a
kitten drinking cream, her eyes still watching Tenchi, still
promising, still pleading.

Aeka growled under her breath.

Ryoko slurped at the soup until most of it was gone. Then she tilted
back the bowl, drained it, and set it down. For a few moments she eyed
Tenchi in total silence. Then she swallowed her mouthful of soup in a
deliberately-loud gulp. She licked the remaining traces of white
liquid from her lips, sighing happily as she watched a thin stream of
blood trickle out of Tenchi's nose. She raised an eyebrow for a
moment, her face asking him for a further reply. She put her elbow on
the table and rested her chin on her hand, holding the little finger
up to emphasize the subject of her question. The only answer was an
increase in the volume of Tenchi's nosebleed. Ryoko winked at him
once, kissed the air again, grinned, then fixed him with an unblinking
stare while she wagged the finger back and forth slowly.

Aeka snatched Ryoko's bowl of rice out from in front of her. She
grabbed the chopsticks, stabbed them vertically into the rice, and
slammed it back down before Ryoko as if it were an offering to the
deceased.

Ryoko smirked for a moment at the implied threat, then took the
chopsticks. One by one, she picked up four pieces of fish from the
serving plate, like a priest handling the bones of the dead, and set
them down on top of Aeka's rice.

Aeka's hands squeezed tighter and tighter until her chopsticks
snapped. "*Really*, Ryoko, you have such *disgusting* table manners!"

Ryoko blinked. "What, aren't I allowed to enjoy my breakfast?" she
asked innocently.

"You shouldn't play with your food like that," spat Aeka. "It's a very
childish habit."

"I wasn't playing with my *food*," answered Ryoko slyly.

Aeka shook her head and resumed eating.

Smiling, Ryoko picked up one of her chopsticks again, and placed the
tip between her lips. Her tongue flicked playfully around it. Tenchi
watched, mesmerized, and the blood flowed out of his nostrils even
faster.

Then Ryoko grinned, exposing sharp, gleaming fangs on either side of
the chopstick as she pushed it into her mouth.

Tenchi cringed and suddenly became very interested in his rice.

Ryoko's face looked extremely hurt. She hung her head sadly and her
posture wilted like a deflating balloon while, next to her, Aeka
laughed. Tenchi had seemed almost about to respond, and for some
reason Ryoko couldn't fathom, he'd backed away at the last moment. She
set the chopstick down and vanished into thin air. She wasn't feeling
very hungry anymore.

Aeka smiled. Finally, she was alone with Tenchi.

"Hi, Aeka! Hi, Tenchi! How was breakfast?" asked her sister as she sat
down.

"I thought you were in the lab with Washuu," sighed Aeka.

"I was. But then she said she needed to work on the super-secret part
of her experiment, so I had to go."

Aeka got up. She wasn't feeling very hungry anymore, either, and she
walked out of the kitchen.

Tenchi's day at school passed uneventfully. When he returned home,
Aeka and Ryoko met him on the path, as usual. And as usual, most of
his walk to the house was spent cringing between the two girl's angry
glares. His dad called to explain that he'd be working late, again,
and to save dinner for him. 

The meal passed more or less uneventfully. Towards its end, Ryoko
managed to catch his attention. She blew a kiss to him, and winked.
Aeka fixed her with a withering stare, and Ryoko giggled and vanished.
Tenchi breathed a sigh of relief, happy that dinner wasn't going to be
interrupted by explosions, as he'd feared it would be for a moment.

Afterwards, Tenchi started looking around for his copy of The Book of
Five Rings. Katsuhito had reminded him to read certain passages, as
part of his training. But Tenchi couldn't find it anywhere. He was
just about to give up when he noticed Aeka sitting on the sofa,
holding the object of his search.

"Is this your book, Tenchi-sama?" asked Aeka, as he sat down at the
other end of the couch.

Tenchi smiled. "Yes, I was looking for that. I must have left it down
here yesterday."

Aeka handed it over to him, holding a place open with her thumb.
Tenchi accepted it, and for just a moment he felt the warm touch of
her fingers.

"Were you reading this, Aeka-sama?" he asked. She nodded shyly. "Even
though grandpa tells me to study it, sometimes I think Miyamoto
Musashi is just a little outdated."

"Oh, no, Tenchi-sama! He says some very interesting things," said
Aeka. "You should listen to your grandfather."

He smiled. It was just like Aeka to show respect for something
traditional. He started silently reading the page she had it open to,
somewhere in the Earth Scroll.

"One virtue of the bow is that you can see the trail of arrows you
shoot, which is good. An inadequacy of the gun is that the path of the
bullets cannot be seen. This should be given careful consideration. As
for horses, it is essential for them to have powerful stamina and not
be temperamental. Speaking in general terms of the tools of the
warrior, one's bow and gun should be strong and accurate, one's horse
should stride grandly, one's long and short swords should cut grandly,
and..."

Tenchi's eyebrow arched.

"One's spear should penetrate grandly," the wise ronin had written,
four centuries earlier.

For a moment, Tenchi wondered if those were the words Aeka had found
interesting.

Next to him, she smiled and demurely fluttered her lashes. But Tenchi
didn't notice. He was angry with himself for thinking such a thing
about her, feeling ashamed at what she'd say if she knew the path his
mind had taken.

Suddenly, he felt hot air on his skin as a seductive voice breathed in
his ear.

"There's some wonderful music I'd like to play for you, Tenchi,"
whispered Ryoko lustfully.

He turned his head, sweating.

Ryoko floated horizontally at the same level as his head, smiling at
him. The neckline of her blouse left very little to the imagination.
Her lips hovered only inches away. She brought her hand towards his
chin and slowly moved closer, puckering up for a kiss.

Aeka rose angrily and cleared her throat, furious both at Ryoko having
interrupted a private moment with Tenchi, and what the pirate was now
attempting.

"Get away from him, you... you *THIEF*!" spat the princess. She
grabbed Tenchi's arm, and yanked him away. "Won't you ever leave poor
Tenchi-sama alone?"

Ryoko stopped and sighed. "Oh, I'm *sorry*, your highness!" she
replied sarcastically. "Is he Jurai royal family territory?"

"That's not what I meant!" retorted Aeka, holding Tenchi's arm even
tighter. "You're a guest here. Why don't you behave like it, for
once?"

"Is your throne around here someplace, princess?" asked Ryoko, looking
side to side curiously. "I don't *see* it anywhere." She smiled. "I
can talk to Tenchi anytime I want to."

"When will you cease trying to lay claim to everything you set your
greedy eyes on?" Aeka demanded angrily, pulling Tenchi away.

"Ha! You should *talk*!" laughed Ryoko, snatching his other arm.

Both girls snarled at each other, a spark of energy flashing between
them as their tempers rose.

Sweat drenched Tenchi as he cringed in fear. Getting caught in the
middle of a fight between the two of them had great potential for pain
and injury. "Will you two please stop it?! I've told you before, no
fighting! Especially in the *house*!"

Slowly they backed down.

Tenchi sighed with relief. "And will you *both* let go of me?"

Reluctantly, they complied. He got up from the couch and walked
upstairs, feeling very annoyed with them.

"See what you did?" accused Ryoko.

"What *I* did? It's *your* fault that Tenchi-sama is always so
troubled!" retorted Aeka, getting up.

Ryoko glared at her with cat-like eyes, the twitching of her tail
emphasizing her annoyance.

"I ought to talk to Washuu about getting you *spayed*," muttered Aeka
under her breath, as she walked off towards the kitchen.

"What was that?!" demanded Ryoko.

"Oh, nothing," replied Aeka.

Upstairs, Tenchi closed the door behind him. He pushed a button on his
CD player, and the disc -- "Room Service", by Ai Orikasa - - began to
play softly. He turned up the volume a bit. Then he lay wearily down
on his bed. He looked over, and noticed something on the pillow, next
to his head. He picked it up and examined it. The object, which had a
lock of cyan hair tied around it, was a shakuhachi -- a bamboo flute.

But "shakuhachi" was also a slang term that Tenchi had heard the guys
at school use, and he blushed, remembering what it meant. 

Even if he hadn't known, the message intended by the trace of lipstick
smeared on one end of it was rather obvious. He blushed an
even-brighter red, and sweated profusely.

And, a few seconds later, he recalled, vividly, the words Ryoko had
whispered to him downstairs. Suddenly his mouth went dry, and his face
felt very, very hot.

For a moment he asked himself why he should refuse such a blatant
offer from her. He didn't doubt for a moment that he'd enjoy it. And
she was, after all, quite pretty. No, more than that. With one
possible exception, she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever met.

Unfortunately, she was by far, without *any* exception, the most
terrifying person he'd known in his entire life. Months had passed,
and he *still* had nightmares of her chasing him and Mihoshi along the
path from his grandfather's shrine. And sometimes the endings of those
dreams were much worse than what had actually happened.

Tenchi sighed, holding the flute in his hand and thinking back to
breakfast. For just a few moments he pictured Ryoko sucking on
something besides the chopstick. But then he remembered her teeth,
suited perfectly for tearing into helpless meat, and his imagination
decided it wasn't safe to continue.

His mind wandered to Aeka slowly removing her kimono as she stood in
the women's bath. But immediately he felt ashamed for having
unwittingly spied on her, and for having such thoughts about the shy,
regal princess. His conscience forced him to halt, berating him for
wanting to have gone on.

He really wished he had just a bit more courage in the matter, because
his thoughts had left him with an erection that wouldn't go away. And
he couldn't bring himself to think any further about who had caused
it. Either of them. Even though one of them had made it quite clear,
twice just that day, that she'd happily banish it for him, and let him
know exactly how she would.

He wished Ryoko wouldn't scare him quite so much.

He wished Aeka wouldn't seem quite so unreachable.

He wished that the feelings they professed to have for him actually
did exist.

He wished they'd stop fighting and hurting each other because of him.

*Don't be a BAKA, Tenchi. None of those will ever happen.*

He listened to the first two tracks of the CD, and his hard-on
persisted. The third song, Hatsukoi no Aji, began. With a heavy sigh,
Tenchi grabbed a box of tissues and started to masturbate, letting his
mind drift...

Tenchi stands naked as Kiyone yanks his arms roughly behind him and
handcuffs him. Meanwhile, Mihoshi bends down in front of him,
squeezing and pulling on his penis. "As an officer of the Galaxy
Police, I must check to see if you are using this to transport drugs,
weapons, or other substances illegal in this sector."

Kiyone groans, exasperated. "Mihoshi, you *know* you can't check
properly unless the suspect's penis is erect." 

"Well, how do we make it become erect?" 

Kiyone face-faults. "Weren't you paying attention when they explained
this at the Academy? Oh, never mind. Use visual stimulation." 

Mihoshi blinks. "What?" 

"Strip and play with yourself!" 

Mihoshi quickly sheds her clothes, tossing the various pieces of her
uniform in random directions. Reclining directly in front of Tenchi,
she cups her breasts in her hands and kneads them slowly, massaging
her rather impressive bust while her eyes remain fixed on Tenchi's
cock. Seeing it begin to stiffen, she licks her lips seductively and
moves one hand down between her legs. Mihoshi moans softly as she rubs
her clit. With her other hand she begins tweaking her hard nipple
while continuing to squeeze her breast. "Oohhhh! Ohhhh! Ohhhhh! I
think Ohhhh!! that he's becoming Ohhhh!!! erect now, Kiyone...."

Kiyone bends down and looks at Tenchi's cock skeptically, then shakes
her head. "Regulations specify a rigidity factor of at least 95%.
Looks like I'll have to help you out with this, Mihoshi. You can't do
*anything* right." 

Moving with graceful precision, Kiyone removes her uniform, carefully
folding each article of clothing, and placing them in a neat pile.
Then she gets down on all fours and buries her face in Mihoshi's
crotch while placing her own directly above Mihoshi's head. Kiyone
arches her back and gasps as she feels her partner's mouth begin to
eat out her pussy. "Unnhhh... I guess there's *something* you're good
at, Mihoshi..." Then she returns the favor, still careful to give
Tenchi a clear view of her tongue lapping at Mihoshi's blond-thatched
cunt. 

"Oh, wow, your pussy's so *yummy*, Kiyone! Mmmmmm..." says a writhing
Mihoshi, in-between moans. For several minutes their mutual
cunnilingus (or is that Kiyonelingus?) fills the air with soft cooing,
loud slurping, and a thick scent of female sexual fluids. Looking up
again, Kiyone eyes Tenchi's penis and grins.

It's incredibly hard.

"OK, he's erect enough now," she announces. Reluctantly she and
Mihoshi disentangle themselves, then move over to kneel on either side
of Tenchi. Carefully, they run their fingers over his cock and balls.

"Yeah, something's definitely in there," decides Kiyone. "We'll have
to do a more thorough inspection to be sure, though." At that, Mihoshi
grips his cock firmly and begins to stroke, while Kiyone massages his
balls. After a few moments, they switch, then switch back, then switch
again. 

"Oooh! Look what's coming out!" exclaims Mihoshi. A drop of thick,
pearly liquid has appeared on the tip of Tenchi's penis. Kiyone leans
forward and licks the fluid away, then takes the glans in her mouth
for just a moment. Withdrawing, she briefly contemplates the taste.
Then her face becomes a stern mask of anger.

"Just as I suspected! Do you know what the penalty is for smuggling
contraband sperm into the Solar system?" She licks the traces of it
from her fingers, then turns to Mihoshi. "We'll have to confiscate
this semen as evidence." 

"But we don't have anything to put it in." 

"Standard operating procedure calls for oral extraction and
containment in these cases." 

"Uhhh... what?" 

"Suck him off and spit the cum out when we get back to the Yagami!!"
shouts Kiyone. Then she groans angrily, putting her face in her hands.
"Why can't I have a partner who understands proper law enforcement
procedure? Why did I get stuck with *you*, Mihoshi? Why?! WHY?!?!"

"Um... because you needed someone who eats pussy really well?"
suggests Mihoshi.

Kiyone grabs her partner by the shoulders and starts shaking her.
"JUST SUCK HIS COCK WHILE I HOLD HIM DOWN, OK?!?!"

"OK, OK, Kiyone!" whines Mihoshi, starting to cry. "You don't have to
*yell* at me, you know."

"Just do it, Mihoshi," sighs Kiyone. "Or weren't you paying attention
to *that* at the Academy, either?"

Mihoshi's face brightens. "Oh, no, I paid really close attention!" she
says cheerfully. "The instructor told me I was best in my class!"

Kiyone glances at Mihoshi's mass of blonde hair for a moment. "It
figures," she mutters.

Together they force Tenchi onto the ground. Then Mihoshi crawls
between his legs and runs the tip of her tongue all around the rim of
his glans. "There's some wonderful music I'd like to play for you,
Tenchi," she whispers lustfully, looking up at him with eyes that, for
an instant, are yellow and feline instead of china blue. Then her lips
encircle his cock firmly as it slides into her mouth. Tenchi gasps as
Mihoshi begins sucking with eager abandon, and Kiyone straddles his
face, presenting him with spread of pubic hair that's green as a
forest of pines.

Engrossed in his fantasy, Tenchi didn't hear the soft knock at his
door. "Tenchi-sama, I thought you'd like some tea," said Aeka as she
slid the door open.

Tenchi lay naked on his bed, eyes shut, stroking his stiff penis in
his hand while "Anata ni Naisho" played loudly on the stereo.

Aeka blushed deep pink, then scarlet, then purple. "Tenchi- sama...!"
she gasped under her breath, unable to tear her eyes away. Slowly she
set the cup of steaming tea down on Tenchi's desk and continued to
watch as if hypnotized.

"Wow, look at him go!" said Ryoko softly. Aeka cringed and looked to
her left where the hated voice had come from. Ryoko's cyan-tressed
head protruded through the door. With a rush Ryoko swooped through the
door towards Tenchi. Desperately Aeka grabbed for her and managed to
drag her out of the room by her hair. Quickly and quietly she shut the
door as Tenchi continued, oblivious to their intrusion...

"I think we'll start your punishment early..." Kiyone's legs squeeze
like a vise around Tenchi's head. "Lick my pussy, criminal!" she
demands. Tenchi complies, inexpertly applying his tongue and lips to
her clit and labia. Kiyone's crotch muffles his groan as Mihoshi
deep-throats him. She giggles as his pubic hair tickles her nose.
Kiyone tightens her legs even harder. Mihoshi continues to
enthusiastically suck Tenchi's cock. He can't hold back much longer.
Suddenly Kiyone gasps "Tenchi-sama, I thought you'd like some tea,"
and starts pushing her crotch roughly against his head, repeatedly
moaning "Tenchi-sama! Tenchi-sama!" 

"Wow, look at him go!" chirps Mihoshi. Then she gives Tenchi's cock
one last extra-hard suck. He nearly blacks out as he spews his cum
into her mouth, but for a moment, as he looks down at her, Mihoshi's
hair isn't blonde. It's cyan. Mihoshi doesn't stop blowing him, her
head continuing to bob, her warm lips still sliding up and down his
cock, until Tenchi's load is spent. Mihoshi begins playfully flicking
her tongue around the tip, washing off drops of cum. "I like this much
better than the chopstick, Tenchi," she giggles. Then she gulps, as if
swallowing a mouthful of miso soup. Kiyone stiffens and stops in
mid-moan.

"Mihoshi, you *didn't*..." 

"Oops..." 

"YOU SWALLOWED THE EVIDENCE!!" 

"Sorry...."

"*Really*, you have such *disgusting* table manners!"

"Aren't I allowed to enjoy my breakfast?"

"You shouldn't play with your food like that. It's a very childish
habit."

"I wasn't playing with my *food*..."

"When will you cease trying to lay claim to everything you set your
greedy eyes on?"

"Ha! You should *talk*!"

The two Galaxy Police officers snarl at each other and begin to fight,
their hair tossing around wildly, green and blonde and purple and
cyan...

Meanwhile, Aeka had dragged Ryoko outside to have a private argument.
She had no intention of embarrassing herself in front of the other
girls. Stopping in a clearing, Aeka let go of Ryoko's hair and opened
her mouth to speak.

But Ryoko spoke first. "So, is that the first time you've seen it?"
she asked with a conspiratorial wink.

"S-s-seen what?" stammered Aeka, looking away and twiddling her
fingers.

"*I've* seen it before. Lots of times. Just this morning, as a matter
of fact," mused Ryoko dreamily. She grinned. "And I know *exactly*
what he was fantasizing about me doing..."

Then she sighed, feeling very hurt that Tenchi seemed to prefer
imagining it to experiencing it. She didn't think he'd failed to
understand her hints. How much more blatant could she *be*? What did
she have to do -- sneak into his bed and hold him down?

Aeka gritted her teeth. "What do you mean, *you*?" she demanded
shrilly. "Tenchi-sama wouldn't be interested in a bimbo demon-woman
like you!"

"Better me than a flat-chested frigid princess I could name," growled
Ryoko, thrusting her chest in Aeka's direction. "I hear they're doing
wonders with implants these days, though."

"More than a handful is a tongue-sprainer... uh, I mean, don't change
the subject! I won't have you spying on Tenchi-sama!"

"You went in first."

"That's not the point! It's not right to intrude on Tenchi-sama when
he's... he's..."

"Masturbating?" finished Ryoko. "Jacking off? Beating his meat?
Dreaming of having intense passionate sex all night long with his true
love the space pirate Ryoko whom he insatiably lusts after?"

"No! I mean, yes! I mean..."

"You know, I meant what I said that time -- about letting you go
first. Care to take me up on it?"

Aeka blushed again. "N-n-no, it's not right. Tenchi-sama and I aren't
ready for that, yet. There are... Juraian customs and ceremonies to be
seen to, and we're much too young, and..."

"ARGHHH!!! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU?!?!" snarled Ryoko. "You don't need all
that! At least, *I* don't. What's wrong with wanting to sleep in the
arms of the man you love? Next you'll be saying he has to undergo some
kind of 'Jurai Royal Family Bridegroom Training', or something." Aeka
gulped, cringed, and looked away for a moment. When she turned back,
Ryoko had moved much, much closer. 

"Is it that you're afraid of doing it with a man?" Ryoko asked, her
voice low and sultry. She gently brought her hand to rest on Aeka's
thigh, while her lips moved past Aeka's face to whisper in her ear.
"Is *that* the kind of girl you are, little princess?" Aeka shivered
as a wild ripple of fear and... something else... ran through her,
then backed up nervous and sweating as Ryoko laughed. She paused to
gather up her resolve, then glared and pointed an accusing finger at
Ryoko. 

"If you *really* loved Tenchi, you'd be willing to wait until the time
was right."

"And if *you* loved Tenchi, you wouldn't want to leave him alone with
just his hand." 

"Slut!" 

"Pricktease!"

Tenchi sneezed and shot his load into the wad of tissue, then rested
briefly before getting up and depositing it in the waste basket. He
felt a little embarrassed at the thoughts he had just been having, but
only for a moment. Just so long as he could keep a straight face next
time he ran into Kiyone or Mihoshi. As he went back to his bed, his
ear caught the sound of a distant explosion. 

Dreading what he'd find, Tenchi looked out the window. As expected,
bright flashes of red and blue lit the forest at irregular intervals,
each followed by a faint boom or crash a few seconds later. "They're
at it *again*! Don't they ever stop?"

With an exasperated shake of his head, Tenchi picked up the cup of tea
on his desk, sat down in the chair, and began to sip. Then he paused
and frowned for a moment. "How did this get here?" he wondered out
loud. "Oh, well, it doesn't matter." 

A very bright red flash came from the woods, followed by a loud
"BOOM!" and what sounded like a tree falling. Several bursts of blue
glare and cracks like thunder answered in rapid succession. Glancing
over his shoulder at the window for a moment, he turned back to his
desk and picked up a daruma doll.

"Might as well do this now, while I'm thinking about it." 

He put another CD into the stereo. The sound of Namie Amuro's "Don't
Wanna Cry" in the foreground masked the distant explosions from the
woods just a little. Then he opened a bottle of black paint, picked up
a brush, and patiently filled in one of the eyes of the doll. When it
was done, he set it back on his desk, next to a stack of videotapes
and some course catalogs for various universities. 

Shiga Polytechnic, since he'd always liked the area around Lake Biwa.
Tokyo Metropolitan, just for the heck of it. And the Nekomi Institute
of Technology. He'd heard they had an interesting car club.

He finished the tea, turned out the light, and lay down to sleep. As
he drifted off, the sounds of battle continued unabated.

He dreamt of her. But he wasn't sure which one.


Preview of Next Chapter: No Need For Breakfast

The birds outside sang to greet the warm sun as its rays streamed down
through the window above Tenchi's bed. But even as the dawn shed a
friendly glow, a sinister shadow lurked and watched. With swift,
predatory grace the dark menacing shape drew nearer. Unsuspecting,
Tenchi slept on. The hunter rose, preparing to strike, and gazed down
at him with hungry yellow eyes.