Aikan Muyo Chapter 8 - No Need For Experimentation "It's poetry in motion, She turned her tender eyes to me, As deep as any ocean, As sweet as any harmony. But she blinded me with science, and failed me in biology." -- "She Blinded Me With Science", Thomas Dolby Story by Happosai Pre-reading by Ryan Anderson and Brazil Wardrobe assistance by Adam Alman, Joshua Prismon, and Tim Sovine Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo and its characters are the property of AIC and Pioneer. If any of their lawyers are reading this, please don't sue me. Instead, pass my humble work on to the creative geniuses behind this my favorite series, in the hope that they might actually like it. Somewhere in the vast emptiness of the universe, near the edge of a huge, drifting cloud of reddish gas and dust, a ship floated, its three occupants dutifully keeping watch on the frontier of the space claimed by their home planet. One of them, the master of the ship, looked out at the seemingly-unchanging nebula that his fellow Juraians called the Kouruikiri, the Fog of Blood Tears. Its color was not the only reason for its name. Many battles had been fought here through the ages, countless lives taken by the weapons of foes or the deadly, merciless void. And unbeknownst to those aboard the graceful ship named Matsu-oh, another conflict was about to ensue. "Kehata, anything interesting to report?" asked the tall, eagle-featured Juraian. "No, Kajimoto-dono," replied the guardian. "Nothing at all." "No messages from Jurai, either," added the other guardian. "Thank you, Youkado." "My pleasure." Kajimoto disciplined himself, forcing himself to stand at his position and not pace around the deck. His knew his attention wasn't truly necessary. Kehata and Youkado could easily control the ship without his oversight, except in combat. And they would alert him instantly, should anything out of the ordinary occur. But it was a matter of principle and pride. So he swept his gaze across the red nebula and black emptiness, as if his eyes could see an enemy before Matsu-oh's sensors did. "Detecting gravitational distortion at the edge of the nebula nearest to us, Kajimoto-dono," reported Kehata suddenly. "Show me." Diagrams and lists of data hovered in the air in front of him. "Why the large uncertainty factor?" he demanded. "Many circumstances regarding the nebula make scans unreliable," apologized the guardian. "Well, we have to investigate this. It could be pirates, or smugglers. Take us towards it. Youkado, send a report of our departure from assigned patrol route." "At once, Kajimoto-dono." After a few minutes, they were much closer, almost within the Kouruikiri's outer veils. "Any improvement in the scans?" asked Kajimoto. "I'm afraid not," replied Kehata. "Error probability is very high, but it's most likely a large ship, or a tight formation of several small ones. However, it could also be matter in the early stages of stellar collapse." "If its a ship or ships, they seem to want us to follow them in," mused Kajimoto out loud. "So the best thing to do, would be to wait for them here." He considered this for a moment. "Kehata, hold our position." "Yes, sir." Matsu-oh glided smoothly to a halt. "Let's see if they'd care to show themselves," said Kajimoto. As if in answer to a taunt, the blood-colored clouds of the Kouruikiri swirled and parted. Kajimoto's eyes widened as he saw what emerged. "Large ship, closing on us at extremely high speed," warned Kehata unnecessarily. For just a moment, Kajimoto's training and discipline fled him in the face of the enormous vessel filling his view. "Back us away, and identify that!" he said, recovering. "No match in current data banks," said Kehata. "Accessing archives. Found one match, probability one-hundred percent. Results now on display." "It can't be!" gasped Kajimoto. "Match probability is one-hundred percent," reiterated the guardian. Kajimoto fixed his gaze on his enemy, knowing he was about to die, and not particularly concerned about it. There was something more important than survival he had to accomplish. He snapped an order to Youkado. "Transmit to Jurai: Kajimoto of Matsu-oh, about to be destroyed by..." His prediction was cut short, transformed abruptly into fact. Beams of green energy slashed into the Juraian ship. It came apart under the force of its much-larger foe's attack. The shattered remains of the Matsu-oh, now little more than a cloud of worthless debris, began to drift. Aboard the huge silver-white vessel, someone smiled. Not all of what was left was valueless. Great care had been taken to see that the most important part of Matsu-oh, its heart and brain, remained intact. Amidst the wreckage of the Juraian ship, a tree floated, totally unscathed. The smile deepened. The experiment had been a complete success. Somewhere very far from the flotsam that marked the site of Kajimoto's violent death in service to Jurai, one of his relatives was quite unaware of his demise. She was occupied with concerns completely unlike those that had filled his last moments of life. Aeka tied a length of purple silk around Tenchi's ankles as he sat naked on his bed. Moonlight streamed through the window, softly lighting their skin and glistening on the princess' shiny leather attire. She pulled the whip from her belt, brushed it against Tenchi's neck, then set it down on the night stand without another glance. Aeka leaned over and kissed him as the sound of romantic samisen strings played from the stereo at exactly the right volume so that it could only be heard if consciously listened for. It wasn't Tenchi's kind of music. It was a just little too soft and traditional. But he didn't mind. Aeka liked it, and it was like Aeka. It suited her. "Uh, Ae-chan..." he started to say. "Oujo-sama," she insisted softly. "Oujo-sama, please don't be insulted, but I still think it's kind of... strange. It's *really* a Juraian tradition?" Aeka smiled warmly. "Oh, yes, Ten-chan. I know it doesn't seem so, but there is deep meaning in all of this." She looked him in eyes. "Every small thing I do says that I love you, in a different way." "Well, what about...?" he asked, nodding towards his feet. "That is so you cannot run. It says 'There will be no escape from my love, for you.' Now, give me your hands." He held out his wrists to her. She bound them with another length of silk. "And this," she explained, "is so that you cannot stop me. It says 'My love will be something you can never resist.'" "But Ae-chan, I wouldn't *want* to. So, why?" Aeka gently forced Tenchi prone. She lay down on top of him, and whispered in his ear. "I will permit no more questions tonight, Ten-chan. You will call me 'oujo-sama.' And you will obey." Then her lips pressed against his, their touch a warm, soft, irresistible command. She slid up between his arms, and her fingertips began to dance over his skin. He tried his best to return her caress despite his bonds, having been told that he wasn't supposed to slip out of them, no matter what happened. "Now, Ten-chan," Aeka said, her voice seductive but stern as she moved off of him and lay down at his side, "give me pleasure. I command it!" Tenchi smiled and started kissing her neck, wondering again what the point was of her ordering him to do what he wanted to do anyway. "Yes, but more, Ten-chan!" she gasped, reaching down to his penis and stroking it. "Show me the full truth of your loyalty. Submit your flesh to me, that I might accept it. Submit!" Tenchi kept on kissing her neck, moving down towards to her shoulder. "Ten-chan, you are being most uncooperative," she chided. "I am?" he asked, still kissing. Her thumb and finger closed around his shaft, tugging gently. "When I tell you to submit your flesh to me, that means I want you to put it in. You simply *must* learn these things. They are important." "Sorry. Can't we do it without the poetry?" asked Tenchi. "No. That would be vulgar," she insisted. "Now submit, Ten-chan. Or I will be very angry with you." "Yes, oujo-sama," Tenchi replied. He pulled her closer, penetrated her, and started slowly thrusting. Aeka closed her eyes and gave a passionate moan. Then she brought her lips to his ear. "Body... heart... soul..." she whispered, wrapping her arms and legs around him, "as I told you... Ten-chan.... you have... but to obey..." Downstairs, Sasami and Ryoko sat at the kitchen table, drinking mugs of warm milk while discussing the not-so-successful mission of piracy they'd just returned from. Ryo-oh-ki waited at Sasami's elbow, eating carrots as fast as the princess could feed them to her. Ryoko glared at the cabbit. "You don't deserve those, after disobeying my orders like that!" she growled. Ryo-oh-ki huddled down for a moment, fearing her mistress' wrath. "Please don't be mad at her, Ryoko," pleaded Sasami. "I *am* mad at her. We'd have had a lot more fun if she'd done what I said." "But it'd be really mean to make Ryo-oh-ki do something she didn't want to, just so we could have fun." "You're spoiling her, Sasami. What if it had been something *important*?" "Ryo-oh-ki would know the difference," answered the princess confidently, giving the cabbit an affectionate pat on the head. "MIYA!" agreed Ryo-oh-ki. Ryoko bent down and brought her nose within an inch of the cabbit's, a very stern look on her face. "I mean it, furball. You'd better listen to me from now on. What if *Tenchi* was in danger? Can I depend on you *then*?" "MIYA!!!" assured Ryo-oh-ki. "Yeah, so you *say*. After tonight, and the way you disobeyed me last time because you had the hots for that damn flea-bitten pest Ken-oh-ki..." "MIYAAAAAA!!!!!!" protested Ryo-oh-ki angrily. "Don't talk back to *me*, you little traitor! There's no *way* I'm letting you near him again." "Miiiyyyaaaaaa..." whined the cabbit, hanging her head and starting to cry. "Awwwww..." said Sasami, gently petting her. "Don't worry, Ryo- oh-ki. She doesn't mean it." "Yes, I *do*." "But they're in *love*, Ryoko! You *have* to let them be together! It would be like you not being with Tenchi!" "Ken-oh-ki's not sweet and kind like Tenchi is. There's things I could tell you about him, Sasami, if you were older." Ryoko's eyes narrowed and she edged slightly closer to her spaceship. "But Ryo-oh-ki should remember them. Let me see... Shi-oh-ki, Tsu-oh-ki, Ka-oh-ki, Iru-oh-ki..." The cabbit gave out a quavering "Miyaaa..." and pulled down her ear flaps with her paws. "...Shin-oh-ki, Maro-oh-ki, Tan-oh-ki..." "Miyaaaaaaa...!" protested the cabbit plaintively. "...and then Fumi-oh-ki, Chi-oh-ki, Ku-oh-ki, Ji-oh-ki, Kami-oh- ki... and those are just the ones I *know* about from *LAST YEAR*!" "Miyaaaaa...!" whined Ryo-oh-ki, her voice full of denial. "Well, I don't care HOW set you are on being his I-don't-know- how-many-HUNDREDTH-girlfriend, you can forget it! What if you caught some kind of disease from him?" "MIIIYYYA!!!" protested Ryo-oh-ki, opening her mouth to expose her teeth. "You *bet* he does! Probably some so rare even *Washuu's* never heard of them." "MIIIYYYA!!!" repeated the cabbit. "Yes, he *does*! Quit thinking with your hormones!" "Miya," replied Ryo-oh-ki. Then she closed her eyes and began to purr, a blissful, faraway look on her face. "Yeah, *right*," said Ryoko. "Dream on. He's *not* that kind of guy. You're just setting yourself up for heartbreak." "Miya," said Ryo-oh-ki again, nudging her head against the air. Ryoko frowned. "I said 'no', and I mean 'no.'" Then she reached out and gently stroked the cabbit's fur. "Come on. He just wants you for your body. You're better off this way." "Miyaa..aa..aa..aa..aa..aa.." whimpered Ryo-oh-ki. "You'll meet someone else. Really! Some *nice* guy, not a gigolo like *him*. Besides, Nagi's probably not going to be back here soon, anyway." "Miya..." answered the cabbit. Sasami petted her, looking concerned and sad. "Poor Ryo-oh-ki. I'm sure you'll see Ken-oh-ki again someday." "Don't get her hopes up, Sasami." "But she *will*! She loves him, so she *has* to!" "Miyaa!" said Ryo-oh-ki happily. Ryoko shook her head. "Oh, well, might as well let you fantasize, I guess," she said, feeding the cabbit a carrot. Sasami finished off her milk and set down the mug. "Can you sleep in our room tonight, Ryoko? Since Aeka won't be there?" "She won't?" asked Ryoko nervously, feeling strangely reluctant to discuss the matter with the young princess. "She'll probably be with Tenchi all night." Seeing Ryoko's surprised expression, Sasami frowned. "I'm not old enough to have a whip yet, but I'm not *that* little," she said, pouting slightly. "Sorry, Sasami-chan. You're right, you're a big girl." She patted the princess on the head, then smiled proudly. "And if Mihoshi and Kiyone had caught us tonight, you'd be a wanted criminal, just like me!" "Wow!" gasped Sasami. "Really?" "Yep." Ryoko stretched and yawned. "I'd better get a futon to put upstairs. I don't think Aeka will be very happy if I use hers." "Yeah, she's kinda picky about stuff like that," agreed Sasami. A few minutes later, Ryoko plopped her futon onto the floor, on the opposite side of Sasami's from Aeka's, and spread it out. "Do you think you can stay here every night?" asked the princess, as Ryoko placed a comforter on top of the futon. "When you're not with Tenchi, I mean." "Sure. If your sister doesn't kick me out." "But she won't!" protested Sasami. "You're friends now." "It's not quite like that, Sasami-chan," said Ryoko gently. "We're not fighting. For now. But we're not *exactly* friends, either. We've ha... I mean, not liked each other, for a long, long time." "You were being nice to each other, at dinner tonight," said the princess, getting under her covers. "You even said Tenchi should go for a walk with Aeka." Ryoko nodded reluctantly and pulled the blankets up over herself. "I'd rather not think about that, right now, Sasami-chan." "Alright, Ryoko. Goodnight." "Goodnight, Sasami-chan." After a while, Sasami spoke again. "Ryoko?" "Yes?" "Do you think I'll ever meet somebody like Tenchi?" Ryoko looked over at her. "Well, there's only one Tenchi in all the universe, but I'm sure you'll find somebody you like, Sasami." "I wish there *was* another Tenchi, for when I'm older." For just a moment Ryoko felt slightly threatened, but smiled, telling herself not to be ridiculous. "You're not planning to take him away from me, are you, Sasami-chan?" she chuckled. "I'll have to fight you, if you try." "No, but I wish I *could* try," answered the princess. "He's always so sweet and kind. He doesn't want to be mean and fight everyone, like lots of boys do. And I think he's kawaii." "Yeah, he's kawaii, alright," agreed Ryoko, suddenly very aware of being alone under the covers. "I really wish I wasn't so little," sighed the princess. "I like how he smiles when I give him a bento box to take to school with him every day. And he even let me bandage him up after Aeka whipped him. When a boy lets a girl do that, it's supposed to mean he likes her." "Tenchi's not from Jurai, Sasami. I don't think he meant it that way." "Yeah, I know. But he said I'd be pretty. He said I'd be so pretty that I'd never have to use a whip. That's really, really, *really* pretty, Ryoko. More than any lady on Jurai, maybe." "He's probably right," said Ryoko. "You'll have guys lined up for miles." She reached over and patted the princess' hand. "Don't worry, Sasami-chan. I'm sorry that you can't have Tenchi, but you'll have your pick of any other boy you want." "You really think so?" "Uh-huh. And if the one you like's too shy, let me know. I'll hand him over to you, all tied up." "But only the mother of the groom's supposed to do that," said Sasami, sounding quite puzzled. Ryoko blinked. "Oh. Never mind, then." "Ryoko?" asked Sasami, after a minute or so of silence. "Yes?" "Could you tell me a bedtime story? Aeka usually does, but she's not here. It helps me go to sleep." Ryoko's eyes widened. "I don't think I know any good bedtime stories, Sasami-chan," she answered quietly. "Any story would be OK," assured the princess. "Please?" "Hmmm..." "Pleeaassee!" "OK. Let me think a moment." She stared up at the ceiling briefly. "How about a space pirate story?" "Sure." Ryoko cleared her throat. "Once upon a time, there was a lady space pirate. The most wanted, the most dangerous, and the most beautiful space pirate in the whole entire universe..." Sasami giggled, and Ryoko smiled. "Then, one day..." Almost a half-hour later, Ryoko concluded her story, oblivious to Sasami having fallen asleep already. "'You were so wonderful when you first saved me. So valiant and brave,' she said to him. And he said 'I'm happy you'll stay with us. I love you. I want you to be with me forever.' And he kissed her, and he didn't care at all that his dad and grandpa and the policewoman were watching. And the Earthling and the space pirate lived happily ever after. The End." She looked over and noticed that Sasami's eyes were closed. She floated over the princess' futon and gently tucked her in, then kissed her on the forehead. "Sweet dreams, Sasami-chan," she whispered, before she lay back down. Looking over at Sasami, Ryoko gave a very heavy sigh, then swallowed the lump forming in her throat. Her eyes began to moisten. Then she shook her head slowly, sighed again, and stared up at the ceiling, wanting very much to rest her head against Tenchi's chest and let his comforting, reassuring heartbeat lull her into slumber. Ryoko reached over and softly grasped Sasami's hand. She closed her eyes. Slowly she drifted off to sleep. Many hours later, Aeka's peaceful repose ended with the sound of birdsong in her ears. She could feel the warmth of Tenchi's skin against hers where his arm wrapped around her, on her face where it pressed against his shoulder, and under her arm and hand that lay across his chest. For a few minutes she savored his presence, not wanting to ever leave it. Then she frowned, realizing that she had to. Silently she looked from Tenchi's face to the first rays of the sun, cursing the dawn. Slowly, with intense reluctance, Aeka gently pried Tenchi's arm off of her, and started to get up. A tug at her scalp reminded her that he was lying on one of her long ponytails. After a while she managed to free it without disturbing him. Then she put on her kimono, sat down, and sighed. *Is it going to hurt like this EVERY morning?* she wondered, as she looked down at Tenchi. Briefly she considered *not* leaving, but she reminded herself that she'd sworn an oath. Oaths had to be kept, no matter to whom they were made. *You've broken your oath to carry on the traditions of Jurai. Twice, now. Is a promise to a criminal more binding than one to your ancestors?* She shrugged off the temptation and gathered her leather outfit, then picked up her whip from the night stand. Next to it lay two pieces of purple silk. She smiled warmly, remembering. She took one and pressed it against her cheek, considering whether she should have it set in crystal, like the greenish-blue one her mother kept on top of her dresser. She shook her head, deciding not to. What was the point in making it last forever if she couldn't touch it? She tucked it into her obi for the moment, then took the other and lay it on the pillow. Tenchi couldn't know the full meaning of her gesture, Aeka knew. But she dearly hoped he'd understand a little of what the night had meant to her, and that he'd treasure the memento of it. It was very special to her, the first night they'd made love after he'd obediently allowed her to bind him hand and foot. He'd tried his best to address her as 'oujo-sama' even in the deepest throes of passion, and though he'd slipped and called her 'Ae-chan' more than once, she was proud of his attempt. Smiling, she bent down and kissed him, then quietly let herself out. She yawned softly, still feeling rather sleepy, as she headed towards her room. When she got there, she opened the door and started to go in, planning to catch a little more rest. Ryoko lay on a futon on the other side of Sasami. Hearing Aeka enter, the pirate rolled over and looked at her. "Ohayo, Aeka," she said. "It's dawn already, I take it?" "Yes," replied Aeka slowly. "What are you doing here?" she asked, more curious than angry. Ryoko sighed, getting ready to be ejected. "Sasami-chan asked me to, OK?" Aeka's eyes widened as a memory flashed in her head. She put her hand over her mouth, looking ashamed all of a sudden. "Oh, my. Her bedtime story. I completely forgot!" "Don't worry, I told her one," assured Ryoko, smiling. Aeka returned the smile, then bowed slightly. "Thank you, Ryoko. She has strange nightmares sometimes, and it helps her to have someone to talk to before she goes to sleep." "You're welcome," said Ryoko. "And *she's* welcome." "If we're going to continue talking," whispered Aeka, "can we do so in the hall? I'd rather not wake her up." Ryoko nodded, and teleported next to her. Aeka slowly shut the door. "I suppose you want me to beat it now, right?" asked Ryoko. Aeka shook her head. "No. Stay, if you wish. Actually, it would be better if you did. Sasami does not like to sleep by herself, and I would prefer not to upset her." She frowned. "So long as you don't *snore*." Ryoko chuckled. "I don't. And, anyway, it's not like we'll both be there at the same *time*, that often." "Yes, you're right," agreed Aeka, nodding. Then a thought occurred to her. "Another thing. Don't steal any of my belongings." "I'm not *stupid*", protested Ryoko, rolling her eyes. "Besides, who would I fence it to?" "Just *don't*," insisted the princess. "Alright, alright," sighed the pirate. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I think I shall get some more sleep," said Aeka. She stood up and opened the door. Ryoko grinned. "Busy night?" "You might say that," replied Aeka, smiling slightly, as she closed the door behind her. Ryoko materialized in the air over Tenchi's bed a few moments later. She closed her eyes and exhaled with relief. *He's still here!* Most of her had known he would be, of course. But from the moment he'd walked off with Aeka the previous evening, a small part of Ryoko's mind had nagged at her, warning that she'd never see him again. But there he was. Ryoko smiled, watching him for a few minutes as he slept peacefully. Then she drifted slowly down until she was hovering half a meter over the bed. She eased lower until their lips met, and she gave him a gentle kiss. "Ae-chan..." murmured Tenchi. "Not exactly," answered Ryoko, frowning slightly. "Ae-chan..." he repeated, a smile forming on his face. "This isn't very nice of you, Tenchi," whispered Ryoko, as she kissed him again. "You're supposed to be dreaming of *me*." "Ae-chan..." "No. Ryoko," she corrected him. "Ryoko." She kissed him again, then moved her lips next to his ear. "Ryoko. Ryoko. Ryoko." "Ae-chan..." said Tenchi stubbornly. "Ryoko," she insisted. "Ryoko. Please, Tenchi... Ryoko..." Tenchi's nose wrinkled for a moment, and he scratched it, muttering something incoherent. "Ryoko..." she whispered to him again. "Please?" "Ryoko..." he answered softly. *YES!* She quickly hugged herself to restrain the impulse to embrace him. She didn't want to wake him up, just yet. She held her arms against her chest, eyes closed, joy all over her face. *YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!* As her happiness ebbed to a more manageable level, Ryoko opened her eyes, leaned over, and kissed him again. "Thank you, Tenchi," she said very quietly. "Now, time to rise and shine." She moved down the length of the bed and sank through it... Once again, Tenchi awoke to the feeling of something very interesting happening between his legs. Aeka seemed to have left, because he could see spikes of cyan hair poking up through the covers. It wasn't very long before he climaxed, gasping for air, and shortly afterwards Ryoko floated up through blankets with a playful grin on her face. "Ohayo, Tenchi," she said. Tenchi smiled as she got under the covers with him, and he put his arm around her. "Ohayo, Ryoko. You know, you don't *have* to do that every morning, if you don't want to." "But I *do* want to, Tenchi," she answered, cuddling up to him. "No, really. It's as if you think I expect if of you. Like it's one of your chores, or something." Ryoko chuckled. "Since when do I do my *chores*? If I don't want to do something, I don't do it. That's the way I am." "No, I don't think so. If it was for someone you cared about, you'd do it. Even if you hated it. That's something I'm beginning to understand about you." Ryoko frowned. "What I *hate* is you worrying like this. Stop it, OK?" "Alright. Just as long as you know I won't be mad if you stop." "If it makes you feel better, Tenchi, I *want* to do it. I want to be the very first thing you think about, every morning. And it reminds me of the first time I managed to get into your bed, so it's special to me." She smiled. "Besides, it's fun. When I do that, you're like a toy for me to play with." Tenchi turned his face to her, and saw her yellow kitten eyes watching him. "What am I, your ball of yarn?" he chuckled. Ryoko lay her head on his shoulder. "No. You're the one I want to be with, forever," she said softly. Tenchi sighed, giving her a tight, affectionate squeeze. "Forever" seemed to be one of Ryoko's favorite words, lately. He loved her, but her love for him seemed downright obsessive, and it made him feel rather guilty, because he couldn't think of anything he'd done to deserve it. *Don't worry about it. Her emotions are just more intense than yours. Much more. ALL of them. Hatred, sadness, joy, AND love.* *That's just making excuses.* *Are you sure about that?* *No, not really.* *It'll grow. She's had a three-month head start on you.* *Not ALL of three months, I think. Like I told her, it started before.* *When?* *I don't know.* *Where's all this leading, anyway?* *I don't know that either...* He looked at Ryoko still resting against him, his arm wrapped around her. *...and right now, I don't exactly care.* An hour or so later, down in her lab, Washuu snoozed with her head on her console, having fallen asleep in mid-equation sometime during the night. A familiar dream played in her head, as it had many times before, as it always did when she passed out on the threshold of discovery. "Now wait just a minute! Exactly what did I do to deserve this? All I did was invent dimension-oscillating bullets, ozone- destroying cannons, and a time-space converting tachyon ray!" "Isn't that more than enough, professor?!" "What about my final request? Have you been able to...?" "For the last time, professor -- *NO*!" "But...!" "We have no more time to waste on the matter. You should have thought of this when you decided to invent the tachyon ray." "But...!" "ENOUGH! You have violated the law, and shall bear the consequences. *All* of them. Into the capsule with her!" "The Alpha-L's a *scientific* invention. I'll walk in myself. And you morons can go back to using flint spears and living in caves for all I care!" "Ohayo, Washuu!" "Wake up, Washuu!" The universe's greatest scientific genius rubbed her eyes and yawned, glad the nightmare had ended. Even a mind like Washuu's took time to recover from such a painful experience. She sighed, then mentally immersed herself in the myriad details of her latest invention. "It's almost ready, Washuu!" said the puppet on her left shoulder. "Won't be long now, Washuu!" added the one on her right. She got out of her chair and stretched. The experiment was in its final stage, and could now be handled by automated lab equipment until completed. She bent back a little, flexing her spine, and yawned again. Time for a nice, refreshing soak. Meanwhile, Ryoko walked into the women's bath and closed the door behind her. Next to the water, Sasami sat in front of Aeka, the older princess washing the younger one's hair. "Ohayo, Ryoko!" greeted Sasami cheerfully. "Ohayo, Sasami-chan," answered Ryoko. Then she ran towards the bath and leapt into the air, tucking her legs and arms against herself as she plummeted towards the water. "RYOKO, DON'T!!!" shouted Aeka an instant too late, as both princesses held up their arms to shield themselves from the resulting splash. No splash came. Ryoko stopped just above the surface of the water and hung there, grinning. Sasami giggled and Aeka fumed for a moment before relaxing. Slowly Ryoko sank into the bath. "Oh, Ryoko -- I asked Aeka if you can stay in our room every night, and she said it was OK," Sasami announced happily. Ryoko nodded. "I know. We talked about it this morning." "I *told* you it would be alright," reminded Sasami. "You should listen to me, sometimes." Aeka smiled, dumping water over her sister's hair to rinse out the shampoo. Sasami sat for a moment, then suddenly remembered something. She got up, grabbed a towel, and began frantically drying herself off. "I'd better start breakfast, or it'll be late!" "You needn't hurry, Sasami. It's Sunday," said Aeka. "No one needs to go anywhere today." "But the Masakis will be hungry. And Washuu," replied Sasami. "And maybe Kiyone and Mihoshi will visit, too," she added hopefully. As Sasami finished drying off and started putting on her clothes, Ryoko closed her eyes for a moment, seeming to concentrate on something. Having dressed, Sasami quickly made her way to the door. She was about to open it when something struck it from the other side. She blinked, then slid it along the frame to go through. Ryo-oh-ki hopped in, sat at the girl's feet, and looked up, greeting her with a happy "Miya!" "Ohayo, Ryo-oh-ki!" answered Sasami. "You're just in time! I'm going to go make breakfast." She exited the bath, and the cabbit bounded after her before the princess closed the door. Ryoko stretched, yawned, and smiled, enjoying the soothing hot water. "You certainly seem in a very good mood today," commented Aeka, sliding in next to her. "Yeah, I guess I am," agreed Ryoko. "Planning to do something about it, princess?" "No. It's just that you didn't seem very happy, last night." "OK, I'll admit it. In the back of my mind, I wasn't sure if he'd come back after he went off with you. But there he was, in his bed this morning, same as always." "This morning?" "I had to wake him up, didn't I?" asked Ryoko, smiling. Aeka grimaced. "Oh." Ryoko yawned and stretched. "It's *too bad* Tenchi can't enjoy that *every* day," she taunted. "He managed to wake up before, somehow," Aeka said. "I *like* the idea of that being the very first thing he feels in the morning," said Ryoko. "Pretty soon, that's all he's going to dream of, too." Aeka frowned. "I thought you said we weren't going to try to take him away from each other," she said accusingly. Ryoko folded her hands behind her head. "It's not *my* fault if you're a prude," she replied. "Nothing's stopping you from waking him up on your mornings, princess." Aeka sat and thought about it. Even if she wasn't going to give in on Ryoko's specific topic, she wasn't about to surrender Tenchi's mornings to her. "Poor Tenchi," sighed Ryoko, staring up at the ceiling. "I guess he'll never know if you'd be any good at it. And it must make him really sad to be rejected like that." Aeka gritted her teeth and glared. "I suppose he'll have to understand that the crown princess of Jurai just doesn't *do* those kinds of things," continued Ryoko. "Right, your highness?" "As I said before, that is *not* the reason," replied Aeka testily. Ryoko stretched again, floated up out of the water, and knelt on the floor. "Just think: whenever it's your day, he's going to be woken up by that awful alarm clock." She got some soap and began lathering and washing. "But when it's *my* day, he'll wake up with his cock in my mouth, nice and warm and wet, and then I'll..." "Yes, yes. I'm *quite* capable of imagining it for myself," said Aeka, becoming progressively more irritated. "You've got an imagination?" asked Ryoko, surprised. "I hadn't noticed." Aeka fumed silently, waiting for her to become bored and drop the subject. "And whenever he thinks of that, he'll think of *me*," said Ryoko, turning around and smiling. "Somehow, it's appropriate," muttered Aeka. She got out of the bath and sat down a few meters from Ryoko, then began soaping up. Ryoko paused for just a moment, thinking of the proper response, but before she came up with something, the door to the bath opened and shut behind Washuu. "Ohayo, girls," she said, smiling her "I just completed my latest invention and I'm going to tell you how wonderful it is" smile. "Ohayo, Washuu-san," they both answered. Washuu frowned as she got into the bath. "Ohayo... *who*?" "Ohayo, Washuu-san," said Ryoko again, starting to shampoo her hair while Aeka began scrubbing her legs. Both of them smiled. Washuu cleared her throat. "Is something the matter, Washuu-san?" asked Aeka innocently. "Yes, actually," replied Washuu. "This bath really needs a few modifications, to liven things up around here. There's nothing in the basic design that precludes letting in Nobuyuki, for instance." Fear flooded into Ryoko and Aeka's faces, and for a moment, they froze. Then they turned to Washuu, smiling in terror. "Ohayo, Washuu-chan," they said, their voices extremely cheerful. "And there's no need for you to make any changes whatsoever, Washuu-chan," added Aeka. "Why, Ryoko and I were just discussing how utterly *perfect* the women's bath is, and how lucky we are to have a genius like you in residence." "Yeah, what would we do without Washuu-chan the greatest scientist in the universe?" agreed Ryoko. Washuu nodded. "That's better. Which reminds me. I just finished my latest invention, and I'm putting it through some tests, starting this morning. Wanna try it out?" "Not really," answered Ryoko, the water and steam hiding the sudden increase in her perspiration. "Come on!" prodded Washuu, getting out of the water and kneeling next to them. "It's the greatest sex toy anywhere! I think *you two* will like it, especially." Aeka and Ryoko looked at each other for a moment. "I'm honored, Washuu-chan, but I truly think I'd rather not," replied Aeka. "But I thought you two wanted to do this and that with Tenchi," said Washuu. She started lathering up. "It's been three months now. Aren't you feeling a bit... *tense*?" Neither Aeka nor Ryoko said a word, but their smiles spoke volumes before they managed to hide them. "Ah-ha. I *see*. You've *done* this and that with Tenchi," said Washuu knowingly. "Probably the other thing, too." Aeka blushed as she grabbed Washuu by the arm, hauled her up, and started violently shaking her. "Washuu-san, I must protest this insinuation in the strongest possible terms! I am simply *not* the sort of woman who would engage in the vile, depraved act you've seen fit to accuse me of!" "OK, OK!" shouted Washuu. "JUST STOP THAT BEFORE YOU GIVE ME WHIPLASH!! PUT ME DOWN!!" Slowly the princess complied. Then she frowned in puzzlement. "By the way, what *is* 'the other thing', anyway?" asked Aeka. Washuu face-faulted. "Yeah, that's Aeka for you," sighed Ryoko. "Prude through and through." "I most certainly am *not*!" countered Aeka. "I've got better things to do than listen to a couple of naive little girls argue about sex," grumbled the scientist, as she resumed washing. Ryoko smirked. "'Naive'?! Well, maybe Aeka, but not *me*." "Excuse me?!" retorted Aeka, scowling. Washuu sighed a very annoyed, impatient sigh, as if she were Steven Hawking enduring the sound of a pair of schoolchildren quarreling about multiplication tables, or Robert Oppenheimer forced to chair a Neanderthals' debate on the merits of fire. "You know, girls, back at the Science Academy, we had a saying: love is chemistry, sex is physics, but kinkiness requires engineering." Washuu's face broke into an wide grin. "And I've done ground-breaking work in all three fields. Especially the second two." Noticing the disbelief in their faces, she chuckled. "Well, I'll admit I'm so kawaii it's hard to believe, but it's true." Ryoko laughed. "So, you taught sex ed classes, or something?" she asked. Washuu shook her head, grinning again. "No classes. Just some tutoring. Plus graduate research, and the occasional thesis." "Oh, my," giggled Aeka. "No *wonder* they exiled you!" "Hmmmm... you may have something there," replied Washuu thoughtfully. "I never considered that before. Some of the other professors *were* getting kind of jealous of my always nabbing the smartest and cutest of the young male students." Ryoko and Aeka's eyes widened. Of a single will, they turned to Washuu and leaned down, their threat-filled faces almost touching hers. "While we're on the subject of 'young males'..." said Aeka. "Hands off Tenchi," said Ryoko. "Now, now, girls, not to worry," said Washuu, appearing completely unfazed. "My interest in Tenchi is strictly scientific." Aeka nodded, and her eyes narrowed. "Yes. A matter of *physics*, I believe you said." Ryoko bared her fangs slightly. "Just so you know, we're chemistry majors. Got it?" Washuu smiled. "In that case, congratulations!" She reached over and gave each one a pat on the back. "May all your reactions be exothermic!" Both girls blinked and looked at Washuu in bewilderment. "Why do I even *try*?" sighed Washuu, shaking her head as she got a tub of water and dumped it over herself. Then she grabbed a towel and started drying off. Once she was done, she got up, dressed, and walked out. "I'll leave the lab unlocked, in case you change your minds about helping me test my invention," she said, before she closed the door. "What's 'exothermic'?" asked Ryoko, almost done drying also. Aeka shrugged, beginning to likewise towel herself off. "I don't know. But she sounded as if she meant it well." Now dry, Ryoko got dressed and walked towards the door. "Thank you for your company, Ryoko," said Aeka. "I'll see you at breakfast, then?" Ryoko halted, her expression puzzled, surprised by the unexpected pleasantry. "Sure." She stood for a moment, thinking. Then she grinned. "Heads up, Aeka!" yelled Ryoko, cannonballing towards the water right next to the princess. Aeka continued to dry off. "I am *not* so foolish as to be tricked by you..." she started to chuckle. Ryoko stopped just short of where she would have landed, streaked up towards the ceiling, and hurled a blast of energy into the bath. The bolt struck the water and exploded, sending a large wave rushing outward from the point of impact. "...*TWICE*!!!" shrieked Aeka, turning around just before the wave swamped her. Ryoko floated above her, convulsed with laughter. Once she managed to stop, she looked down and smiled. "So, Aeka, like to head into town later on?" she asked cheerfully. "It's going to be a nice day today." The princess glared up at her angrily. "After *that*? I think I'd rather not." Ryoko's face took on a puzzled expression for a moment. Then she sighed. No one ever seemed to think her jokes were as amusing as she did. "Sorry," she said quietly. "I was just trying to have a little fun." She flew to the door, opened it, then closed it behind her. Aeka watched her leave, and gave a sigh of her own. It was always so difficult to tell when Ryoko meant harm and when she didn't. The pirate seemed to treat everything as play, so when she really *was* being playful, it was easy to misread her. *Perhaps she didn't mean any harm by it. Perhaps.* Still feeling somewhat annoyed, Aeka started looking around for another towel to dry herself off with. But after five minutes or so, she hadn't found one that Ryoko's prank hadn't managed to soak. "At the very least she could have left me a towel that wasn't wet," Aeka muttered to herself. After a bit more searching she found one that was only a little damp, and began drying off again, wondering if it would be best to forget the whole incident. A few minutes afterwards, Tenchi and Ryoko walked into the kitchen more or less at the same time. Sasami stood in front of the stove, squirming and shifting her weight from foot to foot as she watched the miso soup. "Is something wrong, Sasami-chan?" asked Tenchi. Sasami looked at Tenchi, then at Ryoko, and beckoned the pirate with her hand. Ryoko walked over, put her head down, and the princess whispered to her for a moment. "Sure, no problem," answered Ryoko. "Remember, two minutes," said Sasami, as she exited the kitchen, her face a mask of concentration. Ryoko took Sasami's place in front of the stove, watching the clock and the white, simmering soup. Tenchi glanced over her shoulder. Noticing that Sasami had used Kyoto miso again, he began to look very worried. Seeing this, Ryoko stuck her finger in the soup, then slowly licked it off, smiling at Tenchi, who started to sweat. "Uh, Ryoko, *please* don't do that." Ryoko grinned. "Why not?" "It's embarrassing," he replied in a low voice. "Tenchiiiiii! You're going to take all the fun out of breakfast for me!" she protested, pouting slightly. "Come *on*. I don't want Sasami-chan seeing you do that, OK? She's too young." "Oh, alright," sighed Ryoko. "But in that case, I want a kiss." Tenchi smiled nervously. "Sure. Just make it a *normal* one." "You mean, like this?" asked Ryoko, just before she pushed him into a corner and started frenching-kissing and groping him. Tenchi's eyes bulged as he anticipated Sasami seeing them upon her return. "Can't this wait until tonight?" he asked, when their lips broke contact. "What if..." Ryoko's eyes gleamed and she grinned, showing him her fangs. "Keep resisting, Tenchi, and I'll take you up aboard Ryo-oh-ki so we can play 'pirate and hostage,'" she warned. "Hostage?" asked Tenchi, swallowing hard. "Mmm-hmm," she replied, licking his neck, then gently nipping at him with her teeth. "Do you know what I'm going to demand as ransom?" "No, not really..." he answered. "Trick question. There's not enough money in the whole universe." She kissed him again and held it, then felt his body tense in sudden fear. "Ryoko! You forgot to turn off the soup!" said Sasami, running towards the stove. She removed the pot from the heat, then wiped sweat from her brow. Ryoko let go of Tenchi, who'd turned red as a beet the moment the princess had entered the kitchen. "I'm sorry, Sasami. I got a little distracted." "Oh, it's alright. The soup's OK," replied Sasami. "But you're not supposed to let miso cook too long. You *have* to be more careful!" "I'm sorry. Really." "I'm not *mad*, Ryoko," laughed Sasami. "I was just worried that breakfast would be ruined." As Sasami got the soup off of the stove and started to pour it into the bowls, Aeka walked in, smiling but looking rather nervous, and seated herself at the table. "So, Ryoko, this trip into town that you spoke of. When shall we go?" the princess asked. Ryoko blinked. "Uh, whenever you like, I guess," she answered, sounding rather surprised. Tenchi looked at them, pleased but puzzled, and was about to say something when Sasami spoke up. "Tenchi, can you go tell Washuu that breakfast is ready?" she asked. "My dad's doing that, now," he answered nervously. "But he's not here," replied Sasami. "He's not? That must be one *big* project he's working on. I wonder what it is..." pondered Tenchi. "Don't worry, Sasami-chan. Washuu's testing a new invention," said Ryoko. "You know how she gets when she's doing *that*. We won't see her for a while yet." "Oh, that's right. I forgot," said Sasami. "She's had the sign on her door since Wednesday." "The 'Do Not Disturb - Universe's Greatest Scientist At Work' sign, you mean?" asked Tenchi nervously. "Yeah! That's the one!" said Sasami. "I guess it's taking her longer than she thought. She was supposed to have it ready by then." Aeka looked rather worried. "I don't believe this bodes well," she commented. "Well, it's really a shame," said Tenchi, as he dug into his food. "She's missing this great breakfast you fixed, Sasami." He smiled. "I guess scientific advances require lots of sacrifice." Breakfast passed largely without incident. As they finished up, Sasami looked over at Tenchi, her expression slightly concerned. "I think you should take breakfast down to Washuu, Tenchi," she said. "She's forgets to eat when she's working hard like this, and she shouldn't." "I'd, uh, really rather not," said Tenchi. He'd started to sweat, and his face was full of poorly-concealed fear. "What's so scary about Washuu's lab, Tenchi?" asked Sasami, noticing his expression. Tenchi started sweating more profusely. "Uh..." "I think her experiments are really neat! Don't you?" Tenchi blushed and glanced at Ryoko and Aeka before returning his gaze to Sasami. He swallowed nervously. "Sasami, I think you should go visit grandfather," suggested Aeka. "I'll do that later. Right now I want to go see Washuu's invention!" "Sasami..." warned Aeka. The young princess looked around at their faces for a moment, then sighed. "Now I see. You want me to leave so you can talk about grown-up stuff, don't you?" Aeka cleared her throat. "Sasami, when mother and father aren't here, you're to listen to me. Now, go out to the shrine." "But I'm not that *little*!" protested Sasami. "I'm not!" "Sasami-chan, can I talk to you for a second?" asked Ryoko, getting up and walking towards the doorway. Sasami nodded and followed her. "Sure." Ryoko crouched down and whispered in the princess' ear. After a moment, Sasami's eyes widened. "Really?" she asked. Ryoko smiled and nodded. "Alright, I'll go," sighed the princess. She started to walk off, but turned around. "Remember, you *promised.*" "I know," answered Ryoko, straightened up. She watched Sasami leave, a strange look on her face. "What did you tell her?" asked Aeka. "Huh? Oh, nothing really," assured Ryoko. "Just something between me and Sasami-chan." Tenchi and Aeka stared at her for a moment as she sat back down. "So, Ten-chan, what is it about Washuu's laboratory that so terrifies you?" asked Aeka, turning towards him. "It concerns me to see you so troubled." "I don't think I want to talk about it," answered Tenchi nervously. "Come on, Tenchi. It can't be *that* bad, can it?" said Ryoko. Tenchi blushed again, then wiped his brow. "Well, it all started with that nurse thing of hers." "Nurse thing?" repeated Aeka, puzzled. "I guess I'd better start at the beginning," sighed Tenchi. "I was going down to tell her breakfast was ready, and then..." Down in Washuu's lab, small, high-pitched voices shouted her praises. "Hooray for Washuu, you're the greatest!" "Hooray for Washuu, you're a genius!" "The smartest in the galaxy!" Washuu frowned. "That's 'universe', not 'galaxy'." "The smartest in the universe!" "The most incredible scientist of all time!" "And I'm humble, too!" chuckled Washuu. "Let's see your invention, Washuu!" "Show us how it works, Washuu!" Washuu glanced down at the display on her console, typing a few last commands. She grinned triumphantly. "They're *perfect*! In every detail! Beyond my wildest dreams!" She pressed some more keys, and somewhere in the lab, arcing electricity filled the air with deafening zaps. "Still, it would be an incredible advance to try out the original design. If only I had more success with that *sample*," she grumbled, frowning for just a moment. "The sperm sample, Washuu!" "You'll get it someday, Washuu!" "WHAT?!?!?!?!" screamed Aeka. "SPERM SAMPLE?!?!?!" shrieked Ryoko. Tenchi sighed again and sipped at his tea nervously. "Well, yes, that's what she said." Aeka closed her eyes and took deep breaths, trying to calm down a little. "Ryoko, I believe it's time we had a little talk with Washuu-*CHAN* about this matter." "Couldn't have said it better myself, princess," agreed Ryoko, standing up. Tenchi started sinking in his chair, subconsciously moving into a protective crouch. "No fighting, OK?" he begged. "Please? *Please*?" "OK, I won't kill her," promised Ryoko. "*YET*. But we're going to go talk to her about this." "Look, as long as I don't go down to her lab, it'll be fine," said Tenchi. Ryoko shook her head. "No. I don't like seeing you scared like this." Aeka nodded. "I quite agree, Ten-chan," she said firmly. "You *must* confront her about this. I refuse to allow you to live in fear of a guest in your own home. Ryoko and I will deal with her, if she continues to do such things." "No problem," said Ryoko confidently. "She agrees to keep her hands off you, or we'll stuff her back in that cave." Tenchi thought for a moment. Love was supposed to be blind, he knew, but he decided very quickly that if Washuu turned Ryoko and Aeka into kappa again, he definitely *wasn't* going to have sex with them. Kissing was probably out of the question, too. Hugging he wasn't sure about. They positioned themselves on either side of him, each holding an arm, and started maneuvering him out of the kitchen. "This is *not* a good idea," he warned, starting to sweat again. "Let's just leave her alone in her lab, and let her do what she wants." "Can it, Tenchi. It's gotta be done," answered Ryoko. "Be brave, Ten-chan. Be brave," said Aeka. "We will be beside you, every step of the way." Determination set on their faces, the girls marched Tenchi towards Washuu's lab, and with every pace a sense of dread grew in him. "I'll shake the dew off *her* lily," said Ryoko, cracking her knuckles. "Yes," agreed Aeka contemptuously. "Quite. Magic fingers, indeed!" "I have a very bad feeling about this," whined Tenchi. Four days earlier... Nobuyuki opened the door to Washuu's lab and walked in. He shook his head, ashamed of his son's cowardice. There was nothing to be afraid of in *here*! He changed his mind slightly when steel tentacles wrapped around his body and pinned him. Washuu walked out of the shadows and held up something that looked vaguely like a wand. From somewhere in the laboratory, music rang forth from speakers. Small doll copies of herself popped up on Washuu's shoulders and began to sing. "Experimenting by moonlight, Theorizing by daylight, All the data proves that she's right, She's the one called Sailor Washuu!" "Science Research Power!" cried Washuu and her puppets simultaneously. Technological equipment so advanced that it was indistinguishable from magic lifted her in the air and spun her around. Her clothes dissolved away, then a sailor fuku materialized on her. She landed on her toes and struck a series of weird poses. "I am Scientific Soldier Sailor Washuu! In the name of Science, I will analyze you!" She looked and blinked. "Oh. It's *you*." "Tenchi had me come down to get you," informed Nobuyuki, trying his best to speak clearly in spite of the tongue clamp. "Breakfast is ready." He drooled slightly, Washuu's outfit prompting him to mentally re-read some of the doujinshi in his manga collection. "Hmmm..." mused Washuu, holding her chin in thought. "I should have expected this. He's getting *smarter*." "I am?" asked Nobuyuki hopefully. Washuu shook her head. "No. Tenchi is." Nobuyuki hung his head. "Well, I already have *most* of the necessary data for Tenchi. And a full set of pattern scans, those that haven't deteriorated. If I do some scans on *you*, I *should* be able to cross-reference the two sets, and extrapolate from there." She moved over to her console, and tapped on the keyboard. Graphs of scan results appeared on the screen. "No problem with the hentai pattern *this* time!" She paused and thought for a moment. "This should work out nicely." Then she grinned. "Given the proper sample, of course." "Sample?" asked Nobuyuki. Sailor Washuu postured, raised her wand skyward, and shouted. "IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE: HAND, MOUTH, BREAST, *AND* FULL INTERCOURSE!!" Nobuyuki's eyes widened in eager anticipation. "Really?!" Washuu shook her head. "No, no, I was just kidding." She pressed some keys on her console, and Nobuyuki popped free of his restraints. "Too bad," sighed Nobuyuki. "If that sample you were talking about was what I *think* it is..." Then he shook his head, and thought out loud for a moment. "No. She hasn't started haunting me because of the peeping, but if I did *that*, she'd kill me for sure... Oh, sorry, forgot where I was." His face became puzzled. "Is *that* why Tenchi's so scared to come down here?" Washuu's grin answered the question affirmatively. Nobuyuki shook his head. "When *I* was his age, if a kawaii young lady offered to do that for *me*, I'd have jumped at the chance!" "It's hard to believe you two are actually related," said Washuu. "Now, wait a minute," said Nobuyuki, slightly serious. "That's my son you're talking about." "Sorry, no offense intended. I just meant that he doesn't act like you." Nobuyuki sighed. "Yeah, I've been worried about his shyness problem for a while. I figured that with so many very pretty girls around the house, he'd be bound to take an interest in one of you sooner or later. I mean, there's Mihoshi, Kiyone, and you..." "Thanks," said Washuu, smiling. "...and Aeka, and Ryoko. It's too bad Sasami is so young, he's not afraid of *her*. But I guess he would be, if she was available." Nobuyuki sighed again. "It's just not right for a boy his age not to have a girlfriend. He should experience some of the joys of life while he has a chance!" Washuu looked at Nobuyuki quizzically. Most of the time he seemed little more than an annoying voyeur and oft-absent overworked salaryman, but his concern for his son revealed something deeper. And, for Washuu, it stirred memories. She sighed and looked off into the dark depths of her lab. Amidst the shadows light gleamed on the glass and metal regalia of science, but none of it warmed her heart the way it usually did. "Cherish him while you've got him, Masaki-san," she said quietly. "You never know when he'll be taken from you." Nobuyuki nodded. "I know what you mean. I still remember the day his mother died. Sometimes I think if she'd been there to help me raise him... maybe he wouldn't be so frightened of women, if he'd grown up with one around." Then he smiled. "Sorry for being so depressing. Anyway, can I ask you a favor?" "Ask away," replied Washuu. "If you manage to get Tenchi, can you let me know so I can videotape it? I've promised myself that I'll do that." Washuu smiled. "I'll give you a copy of mine. One of the cardinal rules of scientific research -- always maintain a careful record of all laboratory procedures and the resulting data." "Something like that," agreed Nobuyuki. "I know Tenchi won't understand now, but when he's my age, he'll thank me." Once again, he sighed. "Maybe I'll go watch the ones my wife and I made," he said quietly. Washuu stared at him for a moment. Nobuyuki noticed, and realized he'd been talking out loud again. "It's not what you think!" he said quickly. "It's just that... they remind me of the special times we had. And it's good to see the days when I was young and full of energy, again." "Of course," said Washuu, nodding. "You don't need to tell *me* about the value of solid benchmarks." "Well, uh, just forget you heard me mention those, OK?" asked Nobuyuki. "My wife made me promise that no one besides the two of us would even know about them, and she'll be really mad at me." "Your secret's safe with me, Masaki-san." "Nobuyuki," he corrected. "Anyway, good luck. I hope you -- or, at least, *somebody* -- can catch him." He turned to go, then stopped. "One more thing. About the door to the women's bath..." "I'll *think* about it," answered Washuu. As Nobuyuki left, Washuu sat down and thought. She needed a new project to immerse herself in, something to take her mind off of the memories the conversation had brought back. Not having the sample would be a major hindrance. But perhaps it was best to work with the materials at hand. Suddenly, inspiration struck. Washuu bent over her console, typing furiously, letting the countless scientific details of her planned invention crash over unpleasant emotions and drown them like a massive, unstoppable tidal wave. Four days later... Hesitantly, Tenchi opened the door to Washuu's lab and slowly went inside, followed by Ryoko and Aeka. They stopped for a moment when they heard what sounded like several people far away engaged in loud, energetic sex. Sweating, the three of them crept towards the noise. It was coming from the other side of a distant wall of lab equipment. When they reached the barrier of machinery, the trio paused. They knew better than to jostle anything in Washuu's lab. It might blow up the house, the planet, the Solar system, the galaxy, or the universe. Maybe several universes, if it was a really complex experiment. Aeka and Ryoko caught up to him. With great care they made their way around the end and looked to see what the source of the sound was. When they saw, they all blushed blue and froze in terror. It was not a sight for the faint of heart. Washuu was being simultaneously penetrated orally, vaginally, and anally by what looked like three exact copies of Tenchi. Exact, except for the horrible perverse leers on each of their faces. And the fact that each one was hung to the tune of about half a meter. "Oh, so you decided to help me run the tests after all," said Washuu, standing next to Aeka. "Aren't they amazing? They've been going at it for an hour now, and they're still performing flawlessly." Aeka, Ryoko, and Tenchi's eyes went from the Washuu standing next to them, then to the Washuu engaged in sex that would surely be fatal to mere mortals, and back again. Washuu blinked. "What's the matter? Don't you like my latest inventions?" "But... they... what the...? How...? Why...?" the three of them stammered. "Who...?" "Folks, allow me to present: the Mecha-Tenchi prototypes! Mecha- Washuu you've met before." She noticed their expressions, and chuckled. "You thought that was *me*?" "Well, yes, actually," said Aeka, as she, Ryoko, and Tenchi continued staring blankly at the four robots having frantic sex on the floor of the lab. "Didn't you notice that I had the penis parameters on those things set to maximum?" asked Washuu. "Do you think I'm *crazy*?!" "What the hell's going on here?" demanded Ryoko. "Stress testing," answered Washuu. "But they've passed the initial round with flying colors. Hold on a 'sec." Washuu typed for a moment on a translucent black keyboard that appeared out of nothingness. The Mecha-Tenchis disengaged from Mecha-Washuu and walked over, their equipment jutting out in front of them bizarrely before a few more clicks on the console reduced them to a more realistic size. "Boys, say hello." "Hi, babes," chorused the robots, their eyes zooming all over every inch of female body curve within view. "What are you waiting for? Get your clothes off so we can fuck!" Aeka and Ryoko fainted dead away. His face going red with anger and embarrassment, Tenchi bent down to the girls and started shaking them. Washuu typed some more. A hole gaped in midair. She reached in, and produced a bottle. "Aren't they terrific? They're even more advanced than Mecha-Washuu! Here, try this," she said, handing it to him. Tenchi looked at it, and found that it was smelling salts. He waved it under the unconscious girls' noses. "And they're all copies of me!" he said angrily, feeling threatened and offended by the very idea. "Sure! Although they're not completely identical. I made some changes in a couple of critical areas." Ryoko and Aeka stirred, then started trying to get up. "Yeah, I noticed the *changes*," said Tenchi. "No offense intended," assured Washuu. "But I like to optimize my inventions for specific applications. It's a flexibility versus performance trade-off, you see. And they're completely adjustable to fit individual preferences. Length anywhere from one to fifty centimeters, circumference one to ten. See?" She tapped some keys, and the penises on the Mecha-Tenchis grew to ludicrously huge, shrank to ridiculously small, then expanded back to the size of the original. Tenchi shuddered. Somehow the sight was horribly disturbing. "Owwww, my head," complained Ryoko, standing and holding her temples. Aeka got to her feet and wobbled, still a little dizzy. "What in the world...?" The scientist shook her head. "Look, I don't know why Tenchi's here, but if you two have changed your mind and decided to help me runs some tests, undress and get to it." Ryoko leaned down and snarled in Washuu's face. "WHAT IN THE *HELL* IS GOING ON HERE, YOU LITTLE TWERP?!" "Yes, indeed! What *is* going on here?" agreed Aeka. "What *are* those... those... those horrible *things* that bear a resemblance to Ten-chan!" The semi-transparent keyboard once more materialized under Washuu's hands. "This is *almost* as annoying as when you knocked me around inside that crystal," she warned, dangerously eying Ryoko and Aeka. The two girls calmed down a little, neither one wanting to repeat the experience of being a kappa. "I'll let you live, for now," said Ryoko, still glaring. Washuu raised an eyebrow, and above the keyboard her fingers twitched slightly. Ryoko gulped. "OK, OK!" she said, backing away. Tenchi continued staring at his three likenesses. "Washuu-chan, please get rid of these things," he asked quietly. "Gomen nasai, but I find them very offensive. It isn't right to copy someone without their permission." Washuu shook her head. "After all the work I've put into these things? Sorry, but no." "Please. It makes me very uncomfortable." "A common reaction, but completely unjustified." "I won't allow you to do something so disturbing to Ten-chan," said Aeka firmly. "I'm asking you politely, please do away with them." "Nope." "WASHUUUUUU..." growled Ryoko. "-chan," added the scientist. "...if Tenchi says get rid of them, then you'd better get rid of them. Or you'll answer to me!" "I demand that you destroy these abominations at once! I don't care if you *do* turn me into something, I won't permit you to mock Ten-chan like this!" shrilled Aeka. "Making a likeness of him for use as a toy! How disgusting!" "I'm not going to let prudishness stand in the way of scientific progress!" shot back Washuu. "It's *NOT* prudishness!" Ryoko snarled. Seeing Aeka's surprised expression, she added "Well, this time it's not, anyway. And if you won't do it, I'll do it myself!" Blazing red energy started gathering on her palms. "Give me a hand with this, Aeka." "With pleasure. Stand back, Ten-chan," warned the princess, as her force-field started to form around one of the robots. Washuu shook her head sadly. "Oh, the recklessness of the ignorant," she sighed, tapping on her keyboard. Aeka and Ryoko shimmered for a moment. Suddenly they became bipedal frog-like creatures, each a little over a foot tall, scurrying on the floor. Tenchi watched them, completely horrified. The first time Washuu had done this, it had been a little funny, but definitely not now. He grabbed Washuu by her clothes and held her up to his angry face. "Change them back! Now!" he demanded loudly. "I mean it!" "I'm not going to let them run amok in my lab," replied Washuu calmly. Aeka and Ryoko hopped off the floor, frantically trying to bite Washuu's legs. Her eyes narrowed as she looked down at them. "There are *plenty* of worse things I could change you into, you know," she warned. "CHANGE THEM BACK!!!" shouted Tenchi. "CHANGE THEM BACK *NOW*!!!" "On one condition," answered Washuu. "What?" asked Tenchi. Washuu grinned at him. "How do you want me to extract the sample, Tenchi?" Suddenly covered in sweat, Tenchi looked at her fearfully, and gulped. He glanced down at Aeka and Ryoko, then back to Washuu. His shoulders slumped as he sighed. "Manually, I guess," he answered quietly, hanging his head in defeat. Ryoko and Aeka's eyes widened. "Kappa! Kappa! Kappa!" they cried, jumping up and down and waving their hands. "Kappa! Kappa! Kappa!" "I've *got* to," replied Tenchi, shaking his head. "I can't leave you two like this! I *can't*!" He looked Washuu in the eyes. "Just get it over with, alright?" Her face softened a bit, and she smiled back at him. "I'm kidding, Tenchi." He blinked. "You are?" Washuu nodded. "Uh-huh. So put me down, OK?" Tenchi lowered her until her feet touched the floor again, then let go. "Unless, of course, you really *want* me to," she added, grinning again. "Uh, I don't mean this as an insult or anything, Washuu-chan, but... no thanks." She shook her head. "You don't know what you're missing, but OK," she said, before she looked sternly down at the two transformed girls. "If you two *chemistry majors* agree not to damage anything in my lab, I'll change you back. Got it?" The two kappa glared back at her furiously. Washuu shrugged, and made as if to leave. "Just do what she says," begged Tenchi. "I can live with the clones, but not with *this*. Please, just agree to it." Aeka and Ryoko looked at each other, then nodded reluctantly. Washuu poised her hands above her keyboard, and looked at the girls again. "Next time, it'll be cicadas," she warned, before changing them back. They felt themselves over for a moment, assuring themselves that they were back in their normal bodies. Then they threw their arms around Tenchi. Seeing their fearful faces, he gave each one a quick kiss. Washuu cleared her throat. "This is a *lab*, not a movie theater. If you want to neck, do it someplace else." "And what was it that your robots were doing, when we came in?" demanded Aeka. "Scientific research," answered Washuu. "I suppose you're not going to help me with my tests?" "NO!!!" the girls shouted. "You didn't have to yell," muttered Washuu. Then she looked at Tenchi. "Manual extraction, you said?" Ryoko and Aeka let go of Tenchi and stood in front of him, arms spread wide. "I told you, I was *joking*," said Washuu. "But when you made Mecha-Washuu, the last step was to input someone's brain patterns into her, right?" asked Tenchi, puzzled. He was starting to get genuinely curious. "That's right." "Then who's patterns are in these?" "Yours, sort of." "That's utterly ridiculous!" snapped Aeka. "If Ten-chan acted and thought like these... things... of yours, then the last three months..." Aeka blushed, hesitated, then twiddled her fingers nervously for a few moments. "In any case, how dare you insult him like that! You know as well as I that Ten-chan isn't like... like... like *those*!" she finished, pointing at the lust-crazed expressions on the robots. Tenchi thought for a moment. "But you had to stand in that big glass chamber to feed your mind into Mecha-Washuu, didn't you? *I've* never been in that, so how can my mind be in these?" Washuu smiled. "The frontiers of science never stand still! What was unthinkable yesterday is ordinary today! And I said 'sort of.' It's not just *your* mind that's in there." Washuu clasped her hands together, and her eyes sparkled. "This is the first time this has ever been successful! I've managed to create a single, complete brain pattern from the separated partial patterns of two individuals!" "Me, and...?" "Your dad!" "MY DAD?!?!" "That's right. I saved all the pattern scans I did on you. Unfortunately, since so much of the pattern is defined relative to the state of the rest of the universe at the moment, they become less and less accurate the older they get, because everything else changes. After a day or so they lose so much detail that they aren't useful for this anymore. But the other day I got a set of scans from your dad. I used them to plug the gaps from *your* scan from the previous day, and fed them into the Mecha-Tenchis as fast as I could, before they broke down. And it worked! Flawlessly!" Tenchi's head spun for a moment. "So they're copies of me *and* my dad?" Washuu shook her head. "Not exact copies. Like I said, a few of your patterns had degraded in storage. And since I could only get a really *good* read on your dad's hentai pattern, I needed to enhance that to compensate for the missing ones." "Enhance?" asked Tenchi nervously. Washuu nodded. "By how much?" "Nine." Tenchi began to sweat. "Each one of them is nine *times* more hentai than my dad?" "Oh, no," assured Washuu. Tenchi wiped his brow. "Whew!" "They're each nine *orders of magnitude* more hentai." Tenchi face-faulted. "They're each a *BILLION* times as hentai as my dad?!" he asked, his voice shaking in terror. "Yep." "But that's... that's probably more perverse than anyone on Earth!" "Mmm-hmm," agreed Washuu, smiling. Suddenly she grinned and pointed upward. "AND THAT IS WHY THEY ARE SO *PERFECT*!" "Why'd you have to make them look like *me*?!?!" he demanded, glaring at her. Washuu shrugged. "It's not my fault that you're almost as kawaii as I am. Besides, if you'd have just given me that sample, I could have made *clones*, with your *real* personality. I'd have preferred to do that -- a hentai pattern as strong as the Mecha- Tenchis have isn't stable, and it tends to fluctuate a lot. But, since you were stubborn..." She smiled. "Anyway, it was for the best. This is a scientific breakthrough of staggering proportions! An accomplishment never achieved before! Some of my former colleagues doubted my theories on this, you understand, but, boy, did I just prove *them* wrong! When I get back to the Science Academy, I've got some bets to collect on!" Washuu grinned and rubbed her hands together. "I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they see the data -- fully documented, mind you! -- because its going to send them all back to cleaning test-tubes for a living!" Suddenly, the puppets appeared on Washuu's shoulders. "They're incompetent, Washuu!" "They're unfit to set foot inside a lab, Washuu!" "But you're a scientific genius, Washuu!" "Yes, you're the greatest in the universe, Washuu!" Washuu put her hands on her hips and cackled while the puppets got out tiny fans and waved them, shouting "Hooray! Hooray! Waaaa-shuuuuuuuu!" for several minutes. When they finally stopped, Washuu cleared her throat and calmed down. "Anyway, I also managed to..." she started up again. "Excuse me," interrupted Tenchi, "but could you at least put some clothes on them?" "I was just getting to that," replied Washuu. "Allow me to demonstrate." She typed some commands, and the three Mecha- Tenchis were no longer naked. One was dressed in Tenchi's school uniform, the other in the brown shirt and dark pants he often wore, and the last in a Science Academy uniform similar to Washuu's but with a more masculine cut. Ryoko and Aeka cast very disapproving glances at Science Academy Tenchi for a moment. Now Tenchi was rather impressed, with the robot likeness of him in a less seamy context. "You know, I think that scientist outfit looks nice on me," he said. "Yes, it sure does," agreed Washuu, smiling. Aeka and Ryoko frowned and glared at Washuu. "Can you dress them in anything else?" asked Tenchi. Washuu grinned. "Yes. *Literally* anything else. I've got the mechanism hooked into a cross-referenced galaxy-wide database of clothing styles, spanning the last twenty thousand years. If someone wore it, the Mecha-Tenchi's can. How about this...?" Suddenly the school uniform on the first Mecha-Tenchi shimmered and became one for the Galaxy Police. "How do you like Special Investigator Tenchi?" "I don't think I do," said Aeka quietly. "Neither do I," agreed Ryoko. "And I mean it," continued Washuu. "Anything!" Suddenly there stood Viking Tenchi, Pharaoh Tenchi, and Raja Tenchi. "Hey, this is interesting! Can I try it?" asked Tenchi. "Sure! I'll set it up in a more user-friendly mode. Let me show you how it works..." Tenchi looked down at the keyboard as Washuu explained the various functions. "See? You use these to select planet, time period, and all those details. Then when you see what you want, you just touch it with your finger." Ryoko and Aeka quickly flanked Tenchi protectively, making sure Washuu didn't try anything while he was distracted. "OK, let me see..." said Tenchi, thinking for a moment. After a few moments of fumbling with it, the Mecha-Tenchis changed again, this time into EVA Pilot Tenchi, Race-car Driver Tenchi, and Business Executive Tenchi. "What exactly does this have to do with... what you said their purpose was?" asked Aeka. "Like I said, they're sex toys," answered Washuu. "This is for the fantasy mode. Knights in shining armor, that kind of stuff." Fortunately for Tenchi, he was engrossed in picking the next set of personas, and hadn't really heard the "sex toy" part. He finished selecting, and there stood World War II Japanese Ace Tenchi, Samurai Tenchi, and Space Cruiser Yamato Tenchi, in a white-and-red uniform like Susumu Kodai's. "The only problem right now is that the clothing and accessories are limited to a mass of fifty kilograms," explained Washuu. "And they can't be changed except here in the lab." "Why?" asked Ryoko. "Because it doesn't *create* the clothes, it rearranges the extra molecules in the Mecha to *become* the clothes. And that takes a lot of energy. More than they have in them. So the equipment here in the lab does it. Once I get a more compact design, they'll be self-contained, though." Aeka thought for a moment. "Washuu-chan, do you suppose I could try this? There's something I've been wondering about." "Sure. What about you, Ryoko?" asked Washuu. "Why not?" replied Ryoko. "It looks interesting." Washuu summoned up two more consoles out of the air, and handed them over. She quickly showed the girls how to work the controls. "I've set one Mecha-Tenchi for each of you. Now I'm going upstairs to get a bite to eat. I haven't had anything since yesterday." She turned to leave, then stopped. "Tenchi, you'll make sure nothing happens to my inventions, right?" Tenchi nodded. "I guess as long as they stay down here, and just stand there, they're just mannequins who look like me." "Alright." She looked hard at Ryoko and Aeka. "But if you like those two the way they are, make sure they don't do anything rash." She headed out and closed the door behind her, her brow furrowed in thought. No one was in the kitchen when she got there, but Sasami, considerate as usual, had saved Washuu's breakfast. The scientist pulled it out of the refrigerator, reheated it, and sat down at the table. One thing was abundantly clear: something had happened between Tenchi and the two girls. And it wasn't just a matter of sex. He'd willingly shown affection to them without caring that she was watching. That was a deviation from his previous behavior pattern that mere physical contact was unlikely to produce. An alteration of Tenchi's emotional state had obviously taken place. Washuu shook her head. It would have been interesting -- and enjoyable, the two were the same, after all -- to have induced that in Tenchi herself. But that was past. She'd already made her decision. Now that the bond had formed between those three, it wasn't going to be easily broken. And Washuu didn't really want to do so, anyway. Neither Aeka nor Ryoko could endure that, and now, Tenchi probably couldn't, either. Washuu sighed, and smiled. There had been others before Tenchi, and unlike the two young girls, Washuu had the sense to see that there would be others after him, as well, if she wished. She could deal with not having him, whereas such a thing would quite probably destroy Ryoko and Aeka. And Washuu wasn't in the habit of making others pay such a terribly high price for what she wanted. So she'd made her choice. Let the children play. Satisfied with the wisdom of her course, Washuu started on her breakfast, while, down in her lab, the children amused themselves with her latest toys. "Now, let me see..." said Aeka, turning her attention to her console. "Ah!" Moments later, one of the Tenchis was clad in lavish, ornate robes. Ryoko glared murderously at Aeka as Tenchi smiled. "Looks nice. Who am I supposed to be?" he asked. "That is you as the Emperor of Jurai," replied Aeka, her voice full of pride and happiness. "Oh," said Tenchi nervously. "How about this, Tenchi?" asked Ryoko. Suddenly one of the other Tenchis changed as well, his clothes becoming those of Captain Harlock, without the scar or eyepatch. "Or this?" Now the Mecha- Tenchi wore an outfit almost identical to Ryoko's black-and-red battle attire, but with the colors reversed. Aeka glared back at Ryoko, then put her nose up in the air. "I like those, too," replied Tenchi, hoping that the girls weren't implying what they seemed to be. He liked his home just fine, and being an emperor or a space pirate didn't really appeal to him. Trying to defuse the situation, he selected something innocuous. Train Conductor Tenchi appeared. Ryoko thought for a moment. She picked another option, and there stood Tarzan Tenchi. Aeka shook her head, fiddled with the console, and changed Emperor Tenchi into Knight Tenchi, complete with a full suit of golden plate armor. Tarzan Tenchi became Yakuza Tenchi. Knight Tenchi gave way to Daimyo Tenchi. Meanwhile, the real Tenchi decided that maybe all this could be rather informative. *I might as well watch and find out a little of what they think I should be.* Yakuza Tenchi turned into Ninja Tenchi, Rambo Tenchi, Robin Hood Tenchi, Blackbeard Tenchi (without the beard), Biker Tenchi, Heavy Metal Rock Star Tenchi... Daimyo Tenchi gave way to a white-robed Luke Skywalker Tenchi, a formal tuxedo-clad Tenchi, Idol Singer Tenchi, Tenchi dressed in a contemporary Japanese military uniform, White Hat Cowboy Tenchi, and Tenchi in a costume similar to Emperor Tenchi's robes, with black slashes painted on his cheeks. "Wow, what's that?" he asked. "Jurai battle armor," replied Aeka, smiling. "I think you look very dashing in it." Ryoko frowned, then started going through the previous settings and brought EVA Pilot Tenchi back. Just as Washuu had said, it was cross-referenced. Flipping through them, Ryoko switched EVA Tenchi to Patrol Labor Tenchi to Gundam Tenchi to Votoms Tenchi to Macross Tenchi, clad exactly like Hikaru Ichijo. Tenchi chuckled, feeling rather amused. "I always did like that show. Too bad I can't have a Valkyrie to go with it." "A what?" asked Ryoko. "The fighter plane that goes with that uniform," explained Tenchi. "Oh, you mean this?" asked Ryoko, touching an object on her screen. It was at this point that a large portion of Washuu's lab exploded. A splash of water on his face brought Tenchi back to consciousness. He opened his eyes. Washuu looked down at him, concern on her face for just a moment. "Ah. You're awake. What in the world happened here, Tenchi?" Tenchi looked to either side of him, and saw Ryoko and Aeka lying on the floor. He quickly tried to sit up, only to nearly collapse from the sudden pain and vertigo whirling inside his skull. "I'm not sure. Are they... alright?" he managed to ask, putting his hands against his head as if to keep it from bursting. "They'll be fine," Washuu assured him. "I'll get to them in a second. Here, let me help you up." She put her arm behind him and gently lifted Tenchi into a partially-sitting position, allowing him to rest his back against her, cradling him like a baby. "I'll bet your head hurts." "Yeah, does it ever," replied Tenchi, wincing. "Can you wake up Aeka and Ryoko now?" Washuu was silent for a few seconds. "In a moment. But first, as long as we're here, would you mind telling me something?" "Sure." "What was it that made you so reluctant to let me take that sample?" Tenchi gulped, suddenly aware of his proximity to Washuu and his rather helpless condition. "I thought you said you were just kidding," he said nervously. "I meant, I'm not going to try to make you give it to me. But I'm curious as to why. There's a theory I want to confirm." Tenchi thought about it. "I guess it's because you never really *asked* me. You just snuck up on me, scared me, and tried to force me. You and Ryoko *both* did that." He shook his head for a moment, then stopped and clutched it again. "Owwwwwwww! Anyway, why couldn't you have done things *normally*? Something not so threatening? Like ask me to go out to eat, or to a movie." "You're dealing with people who are very different from you, Tenchi, and 'normal' is a very subjective term," explained Washuu. "That makes communication difficult." "Yes, I suppose it does," said Tenchi. "The rest of them don't understand this well enough to explain it, so I'll try." Washuu paused for a moment, then cleared her throat as if starting to give a lecture to her class. "From what I've seen, you live in a society where women are usually fairly passive. They're not expected to take the initiative, or to control things. But none of *us* are like that. I conduct experiments and create inventions. Mihoshi and Kiyone fight criminals. Ryoko captures ships and loots them. Aeka's going to rule an empire someday -- and when that day comes, she's not going to be the shy girl you think you know. So naturally that comes across, to some degree, in how we deal with people. And you feel threatened by that." Tenchi nodded slowly. "You're right. I guess I have overreacted a bit. I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm sorry." "Don't be. It's normal, and it cuts both ways. The rest of us should have realized that *you* were different from *us*, too. I just wanted you to know that the experiments I had planned for you weren't going to be anything you wouldn't enjoy." She smiled. "I'm always very nice to my guinea pigs." Tenchi smiled back. "Thanks, I guess." "One more thing," said Washuu. "Yes?" Suddenly Washuu's bright green eyes flashed in front of Tenchi's face as she bent down and kissed him. Tenchi's eyes bugged out but he didn't struggle much, surprised at how good a kisser Washuu was. Youthful lips backed up by millennia of experience and precise rational control pressed against his for several seconds. Then Washuu leaned back up and their mouths parted. Tenchi began to sweat. "Um, Washuu-chan, I don't think this is such a good idea." "I just wanted to let you see what you're missing out on, that's all," replied Washuu. She glanced at Aeka and Ryoko, then back to Tenchi. "I may be the greatest genius in the universe, but I'm not heartless, and the situation here is pretty obvious. Sometimes I do make decisions on a non-scientific basis, you know." Tenchi stared up at her for a moment, wondering if every person he knew was like this -- if they had a side to them they rarely chose to show, completely different from what he expected. "I think you're OK to stand now," said Washuu, getting up and pulling him upright. "There. Still feel dizzy?" "A little, but I'm not going to fall," replied Tenchi. Washuu picked up a bucket of water from the floor and grinned. "OK, you two, enough taking naps in my lab!" She splashed the two prone girls with a couple liters of water each. "Rise and shine!" For the second time that day, Ryoko and Aeka grumbled and started to rise from the floor. Tenchi and Washuu helped them up. "What happened?" moaned Ryoko. "I was going to ask *you* the same thing," replied Washuu. "What did you three do to my lab?" "Nothing! Honest!" answered Ryoko. "We were going through outfits for those robots of yours, and suddenly the whole place blew up!" "Excuse me, but how long were we unconscious?" asked Aeka, rubbing her head. "I don't know. I've been gone for about half an hour," said Washuu. "Then I came back down here, and found you three and MY LAB like this." She summoned up her console out of the air, and started typing. "Luckily, when the door's shut energy doesn't cross the boundaries between the dimensions. Otherwise, the whole house could have been destroyed. And it's a good thing for you three that the explosion seems to have originated on the other side of the lab. Now, let me see what you kids did to cause this..." "Washuu-chan, I assure you, none of us did anything remotely dangerous," said Aeka. "Yeah!" said Ryoko. "How can changing the clothes on those things of yours make stuff explode?" Washuu's eyes widened for a moment, then she put her face in her hands, muttering incoherent angry words. "It does when you don't stick just to clothes," she said. "I *told* you the limit was fifty kilograms!" "So?" asked Ryoko. "Don't you think a space fighter weighs just a little more than fifty kilograms?!?!" demanded Washuu. "Don't you have any common sense?!?!" She started reading off the computer's log of the last actions related to the Mecha-Tenchis. "When there wasn't enough mass for it to convert, the main generator overloaded, the auxiliary generator switched in and loaded the Mecha with their default parameters, and then the main blew up, taking the auxiliary with it." She clenched her fists. "It took me almost a week to construct it! Not to mention all the other equipment that went with it when it exploded! Including the remote control mechanisms for the Mecha..." Washuu wheeled and looked around. "Where are they?" "Where are what?" asked Tenchi. "The Mecha-Tenchis! They're gone!" Washuu started typing on her keyboard. "When their link to the computer was destroyed, they must have decided to go wander off." "Where would they have gone?" asked Aeka. "They'll find a place where they can fulfill their programming," said Washuu. "Which is...?" asked Tenchi, Ryoko, and Aeka at the same time. "You saw the tests I was running. Is it really that hard to understand?" asked Washuu. "Do you mean to tell me that there are three people on the loose who look just like Ten-chan, but that they're... they're..." started Aeka. "... more perverted than anyone else on Earth, and besides that they've got... got..." continued Tenchi. "... dicks, oh, about this long?" finished Ryoko, gesturing with her hands. Washuu shrugged. "That's about the size of it. Two of them, not three, though -- the third one was consumed when Ryoko tried to turn him into a spaceship." "That wasn't my *fault*!" said Ryoko. "But can't you activate their self-destruct mechanisms, like you did with the first Mecha-Washuu?" asked Tenchi. Washuu shook her head, obviously annoyed at a very foolish question. "No. Not after you destroyed the systems that control them remotely. In a day or so, I can build another one. But first I'm going to put together something that will enable us to track them." As Washuu set to work, miles away Kiyone and Mihoshi sat down wearily on the floor of their apartment. "Well, that's *another* job down the tubes," sighed Kiyone, massaging her temples. "And this headache is *killing* me." She reached into her purse, got out a bottle of aspirin, and gulped three tablets. "I'll start looking right away through the classified ads," said Mihoshi cheerfully. She picked up the newspaper and started flipping pages. "You do that. I'm going to lie down..." groaned Kiyone, dropping onto her futon. After a while, Mihoshi's face brightened. "Here's one: Krystal Fashion Health Clubs. Branches in Roppongi, Dogenzaka, and Kabukicho. Wouldn't having jobs as aerobics instructors be great, Kiyone?" "I don't know, Mihoshi, that's not exactly my line of work." "But it would be fun! Hey, let's go work at the one in Kabukicho." "What for? That's a pretty rough area, you know." "We're Galaxy Police officers! Danger is our way of life! And besides, it says right here: 'Applicants at Kabukicho branch required to perform in two-girl option at request of clients, with commensurate salary increase.' We'll be partners, Kiyone, like always! And we'll make more money, too!" "'Two-girl option'? Let me see that..." Kiyone got up off the futon and grabbed the paper, then started reading it. "Mihoshi, do you know what this place *is*?!?!" "Sure! It's a Health Club, like it says in the ad." Kiyone shoved the newspaper back to her. "It's a *BROTHEL*!" Mihoshi blinked. "It is?" "What do you think 'oral service' *means*?! Finish reading the ad next time!" snarled Kiyone. "Oh, OK." Mihoshi scanned the paper some more. "Hey, how about this: 'Pink Salon attendants wanted.' It sounds so glamorous! Wouldn't it be fun to work with hair?" "Yeah, *pubic* hair," groaned Kiyone, putting her face in her hands. "Huh?" Kiyone sighed. "Why don't *you* take the job, Mihoshi? I'll find a different one." "But what would I do without you there to help me?!" asked Mihoshi, sniffling and starting to cry. "I'd miss you so much, Kiyoneeeee!" "Then find us something a little less sleazy, OK?" Mihoshi dried her tears. "Well, I'll try... OK, look at this one." "What's it for, porno actresses? Strippers? Phone sex operators, maybe?" Kiyone asked, a smirk on her face. Mihoshi shook her head. "No, office ladies. 'Azumi Heavy Industries, secretary pool, two openings. Excellent pay and benefits with a rapidly-expanding, diversified company. Contact Mr. Mikura.'" Kiyone blinked, then grabbed the newspaper. She read the ad several times. "I don't believe it. You actually found one that's not half bad!" About forty minutes later, Washuu activated the tracking device and hooked it into the computer system. She tapped some keys and watched her screen. "Aha! It looks like they're closing in on... make that *stopping at* Mihoshi and Kiyone's apartment." "Oh, no! How awful!" gasped Aeka. "No, how *convenient*," corrected Washuu. "Now, if they'll just stay there, I can try out one of my other recent inventions." "What invention?" asked Tenchi. "This!" shouted Washuu, pointing to soot-covered door leaning against a once-neat stack of equipment. "Give me about ten minutes to run some tests to be sure it's safe, then we'll be on our way." "Wait a minute," protested Tenchi. "How is *that* going to help us." "It's a dimensional portal to Kiyone and Mihoshi's apartment," said Washuu. "I was working on it as a way to save them on their train fare, and so they can visit more often, use the women's bath, come over for dinner, that kind of thing." "I guess at least *some* of your inventions are useful," said Ryoko. "Watch it, or you'll be bathing in the lake," warned Washuu. "Now go phone Mihoshi and Kiyone, and let them know what's happening. It's the least you can do to atone for this mess you've caused." "Hey! You should have explained better how the damn thing worked!" replied Ryoko angrily. "And what kind of computer explodes when you press the wrong part of the screen?!" "I was thinking the same thing," said Tenchi. "When something goes wrong with the ones at school, all that happens is that the screen turns blue and there's a message that says you have to reset it. Maybe you should get whatever program it is we're using." Washuu closed her eyes, clenched her fists, and ground her teeth as her entire body shook with mounting livid rage at the horrible insult. Then she turned her gaze on Tenchi, her eyes blazing green infernos as she spoke slowly through a clenched jaw. "I'm the greatest scientific genius in the universe, and you're suggesting that I...!!!" "Errr, I take it back!" interrupted Tenchi, eying Washuu in terror as sweat beaded on his brow. "I'll, uh, go call Mihoshi and Kiyone," said Ryoko, exiting the lab as rapidly as she could. "I think I will go see that Sasami is safe," said Aeka nervously, following her. "I'd probably better go and do... something," said Tenchi, unable to think of a reason but wanting to get away from Washuu as soon as possible. From the look on her face, he suspected she might well turn him into pond scum. Washuu glared at them as they went out, then set about her work, grumbling. When she got upstairs, Ryoko quickly dialed the number for Mihoshi and Kiyone's apartment. "We're sorry, but the number you have dialed has been disconnected due to non-payment of fees," said a recording. "I don't care. I need to talk to them!" replied Ryoko angrily. "We're sorry, but the number you have dialed has been disconnected due to non-payment of fees." "Just get me Kiyone or Mihoshi!" demanded Ryoko. "We're sorry, but the number you have dialed has been disconnected due to non-payment of fees." Ryoko slammed down the receiver. "Damn... Earthling... crazy... stupid... GRRRRRRR!!!" "Something's wrong with the phone," she said, as she walked into the kitchen where Tenchi was getting himself a drink. Then she sat down, thinking of the explosion in the lab and preparing herself for the angry words that always came after she directly or indirectly damaged something around the Masaki residence. She waited, and waited, the dread growing on her as she did so. She watched as Tenchi continued drinking his soda in slow motion for what seemed like an hour. Then he glanced over at Ryoko, and she hung her head. "I'm sorry, Tenchi," she said. "It's OK, Ryoko," replied Tenchi. "It wasn't all your fault." Ryoko blinked and looked over at him in disbelief. "You... mean it, Tenchi?" Now it was Tenchi's turn to be puzzled. "Huh? Of course I mean it," he said. "Really?" asked Ryoko, her eyes widening. Tenchi stared at her, attempting to figure out what was going on. "Yes. Why wouldn't I?" he asked. Ryoko jumped up and tackled him with a flying leap. "Thank you, Tenchi!" she said, hugging him tight. "Thank you." Tenchi smiled at her and shook his head. He was getting used to having Ryoko's arms around him be something to be enjoyed rather than avoided, but he decided that sometimes there was just no use trying to understand her. "You're welcome," he said. While Tenchi gave up trying to solve the problem of determining the cause of Ryoko's sudden gratitude, miles away his two robot likenesses tried to solve a different dilemma. "How are we going to get in there?" asked Mecha-Tenchi-A. "You know as much as I do," responded Mecha-Tenchi-B. "But I still think we should have stayed at the house and gone after the girls there. There were two for each of us!" "Maybe *you* want to get caught and have to fuck Mecha-Washuu again, but *I* sure don't," said A. "Anyway, I think we should get onto the balcony and go in that way." "Good idea. Breaking down the front door would make too much noise," said B. "Give me a lift, then," ordered Mecha-A. Mecha-B's face and voice grew angry. "No way! *You* give *me* a lift." "It was my idea!" snapped Mecha-Tenchi-A. "Yeah, but what do I get out of it?" demanded B. Mecha-A thought for a moment. "I'll let you pick which of the girls you want. Sound fair?" B sighed. "Alright, alright. But you'd better help me up there once you get onto the balcony." "Hey, no problem," assured A. Mecha-Tenchi-B let Mecha-Tenchi-A climb onto his shoulders. Then A pulled himself onto the balcony, and looked inside. "Wow, take a look at *that*!" he gasped, crouching down next to the glass door. "What? Where? Hey, help me up!" shouted Mecha-Tenchi-B. "Oooooh... she can arrest me *any time she likes*!" said Mecha-A, drooling. "This isn't fair! Give me a hand!" demanded B, trying to jump onto the balcony. Inside the apartment, Mihoshi folded her sweater and slacks, clad only in her underwear as she stood in full view of the window. "It's such a nice day today, Kiyone," she said, looking down at her partner on the futon. "I think I'll do some sunbathing. Wanna join me?" "Maybe later," answered Kiyone in a rather miserable voice. "My head still hurts." "I'm sorry, Kiyone. I guess we aren't going to work in any more music stores, huh?" "Not ones that play *that* kind of music that *loud*," said Kiyone. "It's alright, Mihoshi. I'll be OK after a nap." "I'll let you rest, then," said Mihoshi. She got out her bikini and set it on the table next to a large towel and a bottle of suntan oil. Then she reached behind her back to undo her bra. Mecha-Tenchi-A's eyes bulged out of his head in anticipation. Noticing his expression, Mecha-B got even angrier than he already was. "What's happening?! LET ME UP THERE YOU BASTARD!!" Mihoshi removed her brassiere and set it next to her top on the table, exposing her breasts. Mecha-A's equivalent of a nervous system flashed with urgent signals that, had he been human, would have sent blood spurting out of his nose. Moments later, as Mihoshi set her panties on the table next to the bikini and bra, Mecha-Tenchi-A's eyes bugged out even more when they verified that she was indeed a natural blonde. "I said, let me up there!!!" demanded Mecha-B, once more leaping for the balcony and falling short. "Oh, noooooooooo! Don't do *that*!" groaned Mecha-A, watching as Mihoshi put on the bottom of her bikini. "Hey! You promised! YOU PROMISED!" shouted B. The cups of Mihoshi's bikini top hid most of her breasts from view as she slipped it on and tied the strings. "Nooooo! Not that *too*!" Mecha-Tenchi-A moaned. "Alright then! If you won't help me, I'll go find my own women!" shouted Mecha-B. "And I'll keep *this*!" he added, holding up the passbook to Tenchi's savings account the two of them had swiped before leaving the house. He turned and started walking away from the apartment building. "Ha! Fine by me! I'll get both of *these* ones for myself!" called Mecha-A after him. Mihoshi blinked, finally noticing the commotion outside. She walked up to the balcony door. Seeing her approach, perversion and cowardice warred in Mecha- Tenchi-A's cybernetic brain. It was a very near thing, but cowardice won out. He scrambled over the balcony railing and held on to it with his hands, peeking up over the edge. "Who's making so much noise?" wondered Mihoshi aloud, as she opened the door and went outside. She looked down at the courtyard. Seeing nothing, she dismissed the sounds as unimportant. She brought out the towel and spread it on the balcony, then lay down and started rubbing suntan oil onto her already-bronzed skin. Mecha-A watched as if hypnotized while Mihoshi's hands applied the shiny liquid all over her body. Finally satisfied that she wouldn't burn, she lay back, put on her sunglasses, and sighed, basking contentedly in the wonderfully-warm rays of the sun. After a while, Mecha-Tenchi noticed that she seemed to have dozed off. He pulled himself up onto the balcony. For a few moments his optical circuits lingered on Mihoshi's curves. Then he knelt between her legs and started reaching down towards her breasts. The balcony creaked slightly as he moved. Underneath her sunglasses, Mihoshi's eyes fluttered open. Her training from the Galaxy Police Academy rushed back into her brain. She noted that she was in a vulnerable position with someone crouched over her reaching towards the general area of her neck. Vivid memories of her unarmed combat instructor's screaming voice reverberated in her mind, and she lashed out reflexively before she realized what she was doing. Numerous kicks and punches connected in a the space of two seconds. Her foot struck Mecha-Tenchi's jaw, sending him flying back just as Mihoshi recognized her assailant. The force of her blow knocked him over the railing and off the balcony. Mihoshi bounced to her feet. "Oh, no!" she cried, as she looked down. Mecha-Tenchi-A lay still, his head in the center of a pattern of cracks in the concrete. "I've killed him!" sobbed Mihoshi. Tears started to stream from her eyes. "Oh no! I've killed Tenchi!" She slammed the balcony door back open and ran into the apartment. Kiyone rolled over on her futon and massaged her temples. "Don't make so much *noise*, Mihoshi!" "I just killed Tenchi!!" wailed Mihoshi, rushing towards the front door. "WHAT?!?!?" Kiyone leapt up and followed her partner out of the apartment. Moments later the two of them stood staring at a dent in the cement with cracks radiating from it. "And now someone's stolen the body!" sobbed Mihoshi. "Will you mind telling me what's going on?" demanded Kiyone. "I kicked Tenchi off the balcony and he hit his head *right here*!" cried Mihoshi, pointing to the depression in the ground. "I didn't mean to, Kiyone! Please believe me! He startled me, and it all happened so *quickly*!" Kiyone crouched down and examined the dent suspiciously. "If that's what happened, why isn't there any blood?" Mihoshi stopped crying for a moment. "Huh?" She bent down next to her partner. "You're right." "And a human skull isn't strong enough to break concrete," continued Kiyone. "Except *your's*, maybe," she added under her breath. She looked up. "Are you sure you didn't just imagine this?" "I'm *really* sure!" "Well, tell me exactly what happened, then." "I was lying on the balcony, sunbathing, and I fell asleep. When I woke up, Tenchi was kneeling in front of me, almost on top of me, and he was reaching down... towards my neck, it looked like, though come to think of it he might have been reaching for my chest..." Kiyone rolled her eyes and put one of her hands over her face. "One of *these* daydreams again..." she muttered. Mihoshi went on, not having heard her partner. "So I remembered something one of unarmed combat coaches at the Academy said -- you know, the really tall one with the dark hair? Anyway, I thought of all the times he yelled at me, stuff like 'Cadet Mihoshi, pay attention! If this was real, you'd be dead now! Do you understand? Not that we'd miss you, but we'd all have to waste our time going to your funeral when we should be out catching criminals instead!' He really didn't need to shout, you know, but every time I told him that it only seemed to make him madder and he'd scream at me in front of the whole class, and it embarrassed me so *much* Kiyone -- you remember, don't you? And then there was the time that he said that I was..." "OK, OK, I get the point!" said Kiyone. "What happened *after* that?" "I was just about to get to that part," said Mihoshi. "Well, I sorta acted out of instinct, I guess, before I really saw who it was. I kicked him in the groin, and then I punched him in the solar plexus, then I punched him in the throat, and after that I kicked him in the right knee... no, the left knee... or maybe it *was* the right knee. And then I punched him twice in the stomach and kicked him in the jaw, and he fell off the balcony." She started to cry again. "I didn't *mean* to, Kiyone! Honest! It all happened so fast!" Kiyone shook her head. "I really think you imagined it, Mihoshi." "But I didn't!" protested Mihoshi. "You were having a bad daydream, and when you saw this hole in the ground, your still-sleepy brain connected the details for you," said Kiyone. "Case solved." "That's not the way it happened, Kiyone!" Kiyone sighed. "I'm going back upstairs," she said, and proceeded to do so. Unable to think of anything else to do, Mihoshi followed her, still letting out the occasional sob. Kiyone lay down on her futon again, then looked over at her partner tear-streaked face. Whatever had happened, Mihoshi seemed to genuinely believe she'd killed Tenchi. Kiyone decided to make another attempt at logic to allay her partner's fears. "Look, Mihoshi. Do you really think Ryoko and Aeka would let Tenchi out of their sight long enough for him to come over here? You know how possessive they are." This only seemed to make Mihoshi more upset. "What are they going to say to me when they find out? And Sasami and Washuu! And his dad and grandpa! They were both so nice to me! How could I *do* this?" Mihoshi dried her eyes for a moment. "I want you to arrest me. I'm placing myself in your custody, for unlawful termination of inhabitants of primitive worlds, under Galactic Law article... um, article..." "Fifteen twenty-nine, amendment two-seventy-four," finished Kiyone, laughing. "Don't be ridiculous! There's no evidence!" "What about...?" started Mihoshi, pointing a trembling finger towards the balcony. Kiyone shook her head. "Now, let me see... I'm supposed to arrest someone on suspicion of murder. But there's no body, no report of the victim being missing, no motive, and the testimony of the only witness doesn't match the physical evidence." She smiled. "What are you trying to do -- screw up my career even *more*?" "But I killed him, Kiyone! I *know* I did!" Mihoshi wept into her hands. "Poor Tenchi!" At that moment, three people sneezed. One of them was standing in Washuu's lab, carrying a twelve-sided dark grey crystal the size of a basketball. "What's this thing for, anyway?" he asked. "*That* is a subspace guide-beacon," replied Washuu proudly. "Another first of its kind from the universe's greatest genius!" Tenchi grunted as he struggled under the objects's weight. "You already said that. What I want to know is, what does it *do*?" "It serves as a reliable marker for opening dimensional portals through subspace. As long as we're within one light-second of it, I can use my computer to open a gateway back to it." "That certainly sounds useful," said Aeka. "So, once we find them, we'll use this to get to them?" "No. I said we can get *back* to it. It gives me an accurate fix on where I'm opening the portal *to*," explained Washuu. She went over to a door standing in the middle of the floor, and examined it carefully. "OK, time to get going," she announced, sliding it open. Tenchi steeled himself and headed through, followed by Aeka and Ryoko. Washuu entered last, and closed the door behind her. Meanwhile, back at the apartment that served as Galaxy Police HQ for the Sol System, Kiyone watched as her partner continued crying over what was obviously only a bad dream. Kiyone grumbled for a moment. It was just like Mihoshi to get the facts mixed up so crazily. So was becoming so emotional over nothing. But the two of them were friends. Sort of. If friendship could be stretched to include words like "Now I will never see you again, and that makes me so happy!" Well, Mihoshi *had* repeatedly set back Kiyone's career, nearly destroyed it a few times, and gotten her assigned to an unimportant patrol sector in the middle of nowhere. But Kiyone had to admit to herself that, when off duty, they did have a good time together. If only they weren't partners, if only Mihoshi's mistakes weren't able to affect Kiyone's advancement, she'd probably be a lot nicer to her, she figured. Kiyone sighed with exasperation and put her arm around Mihoshi. "Will you quit crying? I've still got that headache, you know." "I'm sorry, Kiyone, but I can't help it," replied Mihoshi. "He was so nice, and he protected me from Ryoko that time, and then I smashed his head open!" Kiyone gritted her teeth as her patience wore thin. "I *told* you, you *didn't* do that! You saw that there wasn't any blood there, didn't you?" "Yes, but..." Kiyone frowned. "I guess the only thing that will convince you is if we go visit the Masaki's and you see that nothing's happened to him," she said. "But we have to be at our job at the supermarket in less than an hour," Mihoshi reminded her. "If we're late again, they'll fire us." "Yeah, well, we can always find another grocery store to work at," sighed Kiyone. "I don't think I should go, though," said Mihoshi. "When they find out I've killed them, everyone's going to hate me." Kiyone's temper suddenly snapped. "I TOLD YOU, WE'RE GOING THERE SO YOU CAN SEE YOU *DIDN'T* KILL HIM!!" Mihoshi buried her face in her hands and cried uncontrollably. Seeing this, Kiyone forced herself to calm down. Trying to find some way to console Mihoshi, she reached out and hugged her. "Tell you what. You can stay back down the path up to their house, and I'll go to the door. That way, if you did kill him, you won't have to face everyone," she said, scarcely able to believe she was saying something so ridiculous. "And if he's alive, I'll come back and get you. OK?" "Thanks, Kiyone," sniffed Mihoshi, drying her tears. "You're the best." Kiyone sighed again. "It's OK. We're supposed to watch out for our fellow officers, right?" Mihoshi nodded as she looked into her partner's eyes. "Kiyone..." she started to say. "Wow, fraternization in the ranks!" said Ryoko. "I thought you guys weren't supposed to do that." Kiyone cringed and backed away from Mihoshi. "It's not what it looks like!" she protested loudly, standing up as quickly as she could. "I apologize for intruding," said Aeka, still in a bit of shock from the sight of the two officers embracing. "Yeah, sorry for barging in on you like this," agreed Tenchi, blushing slightly as he set down the subspace guide-beacon. Mihoshi's eyes widened. "Tenchi!" she shouted, throwing her arms around him. "I thought I'd killed you!" she said, crying tears of relief as she embraced him. "I thought I'd killed you!" Tenchi, Aeka, and Ryoko's eyes bugged out -- Tenchi's in surprise, the girls' in fury. He tried backing away from her, feeling intensely uncomfortable due to Mihoshi's almost-nude body pressed up against him. Her proximity affected him in ways it hadn't before. And as his own body started to respond in defiance of his conscience, Tenchi blushed, ashamed of himself and very nervous because of it. There was also the matter of the small logs beginning to float in the air, and the reddish-orange glare that had suddenly filled the room. Mihoshi let go of him and started to compose herself. "I'm sorry, Tenchi," she giggled, her grief gone as if it had never existed in the first place. "I'm so *embarrassed*!" Aeka stared at her coldly. "I trust that you have a *very* good explanation for that?" she asked. Next to her, Ryoko nodded, holding her energy sword ready. "Mihoshi thought she'd killed Tenchi," explained Kiyone, nervously watching the pirate and princess. "I *told* you it was just a dream, Mihoshi. See?" "It wasn't a dream," said Washuu, stepping out from behind Ryoko and Aeka. "That was one of the Mecha-Tenchis, my latest invention." "Wow, he sure was realistic," gasped Mihoshi. Washuu grinned. "Thank you!" She turned to look at the two girls, who still stood gathering up their rage in preparation for combat. "*Somebody* appreciates my work. Now, would you two calm down, please?" Tenchi nodded. He moved next to Ryoko, took hold of her sword arm, and nudged it downward, while putting the other hand on Aeka's shoulder. "Stop it. You're being impolite," he said, thinking what a vast understatement "impolite" was. "It was just a hug," he whispered to them. "It won't happen again. I promise." "I'll be watching her," warned Ryoko in a low voice. "As will I," agreed Aeka. The energy sword and the Juraian force field vanished as the two girls relaxed ever so slightly. Kiyone cocked an eyebrow for a moment. Aeka and Ryoko were just as fiercely possessive as ever, so their behavior wasn't unexpected, given what they'd seen Mihoshi do. A bit more extreme than usual, perhaps, but that was all. A bit more cooperative than normal, too, although they could have just set aside their mutual animosity in the face of Mihoshi's actions. The way Tenchi acted, though... something was different about it. Something Kiyone couldn't quite put her finger on yet. "What was this about 'Mecha-Tenchi'?" she asked. "Mecha-*Tenchis*," corrected Washuu. "Due to some problems induced by certain people..." She glared at Ryoko "...they're running loose. Now, explain to me what happened, Mihoshi." "Well, you see..." A few minutes later, Washuu stood typing on her computer. "It would have been good if you could have captured them and kept them here," she said. "But we'll get them, don't worry." "What exactly did you make these for?" asked Kiyone. "Uh, *please* don't ask that," begged Tenchi, before Washuu could speak up. "Aha! There they are," announced Washuu. "It seems they've split up. One of them seems to be moving rapidly... let's see... yes, he's on a subway line. The other one is mostly still. We'd better deal with that one first. We don't know where the other one's going to stop." She frowned suddenly. "Something's wrong here, though. His signal keeps starting and stopping. The transmitter is in his head, so perhaps it was damaged when he hit it... uh- oh." She sighed. "Lost him." "Where was he at?" asked Kiyone. "The Tennoji Mio shopping center," replied Washuu. "Why, though? I thought he was going to go someplace where he could..." started Ryoko. "Uh, no need to go into that," interrupted Tenchi quickly. "The blow to his cranial compartment must have also damaged some of his memory circuits, altering his programming," decided Washuu. "But what's he programmed to do?" asked Mihoshi. Tenchi cringed. "I really don't think we should discuss that." "We'd better get over there before he leaves," said Washuu. "The Tennoji Mio's a big place," said Kiyone. "Searching it will be quite a job. Want us to help you?" Tenchi smiled. "I was hoping you'd say that," he said. "I've got enough for train fare to get us there. The station's just underneath it." "Well, Ten-chan, shall we be off, then?" asked Aeka, standing up. Kiyone blinked. *Ten-chan*? "Yeah, let's get this over with," agreed Ryoko, putting an arm around Tenchi. She whispered something to him, and he blushed before she gave him a brief kiss. Kiyone blinked again, and tried not to stare in shock. Her self- control was tested once more when Aeka gave Tenchi a kiss of her own, and Ryoko merely tensed a little. And Tenchi had just looked somewhat embarrassed, instead of terrified, as he usually did. Well, *something* happened recently, Kiyone decided. Minutes later, she watched with an investigator's eye as Tenchi sat on the seat of the train, squeezed in between Ryoko and Aeka, each of whom only objected moderately whenever the other showed affection to him. No violence, no words, just the occasional nasty look. They hadn't become less possessive, that was for sure. They'd seemed almost ready to *kill* Mihoshi for hugging him. Which only made their behavior now see even more strange. "One thing, Ryoko," said Tenchi. "I want you to promise me that you won't use your powers while we're in public. No walking through things, no flying, no teleporting. OK?" "But, Tenchi! How am I supposed to catch him?" protested Ryoko. "Just promise me," he insisted. "Alright," agreed the pirate, very reluctantly. "But only if I get a kiss." Tenchi sweated a little. "Just a quick one, OK?" he whispered. Ryoko leaned over and pressed her lips against Tenchi's, holding the kiss for a long time. "Can you at least let him *breathe*?" hissed Aeka. Ryoko smiled and let Tenchi go. Then the princess gave Tenchi a kiss, obviously much gentler, and rather briefer, before she withdrew. "You didn't promise anything," accused Ryoko. Aeka smiled. "I promise I will not fly, nor pass through the walls, nor teleport, either." "You can't do that, anyway," said Ryoko angrily. "Of course. So I know I'll keep my promise," replied Aeka. After a few minutes, Ryoko put her mouth to Tenchi's ear and cupped her hand around it. Moments later, he blushed fiery crimson and started sweating. Ryoko continued to whisper, and something she said made Tenchi gulp and his eyes dart around nervously. "Stop it, you're embarrassing him," warned Aeka quietly, giving the pirate an angry look. Ryoko didn't budge. Suddenly, Tenchi's eyes widened and he swallowed again as he shifted his legs uncomfortably. Then he froze stock-still, perspiration gathering on his forehead and trickling down in visible streams. After a while, Ryoko leaned back into her seat, a wry smile on her face. "And don't think I won't, either," she warned, her lips forming a feral grin as the train pulled to a stop at the JR Tennoji Station. The six of them rapidly disembarked and headed up the escalator. When they reached the ground floor, Ryoko tugged Aeka aside for a moment. "What is it?" asked Aeka. "When we spot that robot, I want to be free to blast it," said Ryoko. "But I don't want to risk hitting the *real* Tenchi. What do you think we should do?" "Perhaps if we have one of the others hold onto him," suggested Aeka. Ryoko frowned. "There's no way I'm letting *Washuu* get her hands on him." Aeka nodded. "Nor Mihoshi. Not after what she did earlier." "That leaves Kiyone. If she's interested in him, she's hidden it pretty well. At least *I've* never seen her flirt with him or anything like that. Have you?" asked Ryoko. "No, neither have I," replied Aeka. "I suppose she's the only choice." "Now, the last reading I had for him placed him on the ninth floor," said Washuu. "Let's hope he's still up there." Mihoshi ran up the elevator and pressed the button. The group waited for the doors to open. When they did, shoppers filed out, and the six of them got into the elevator. As it ascended, Aeka turned towards Kiyone. "Would you mind holding on to Ten-chan for me?" she asked. "Any particular reason?" asked Kiyone, as she and Tenchi gave the princess rather puzzled looks. "We just don't want to get him mixed up with the robot," said Ryoko. "OK, I guess," Kiyone replied. The doors opened, and the group walked out into the crowd. Kiyone glanced around, assessing in the situation. "Alright, everyone, here's what I think we should do," she announced. "Tenchi, Washuu and I will take the bookstore and the Sanseido stationary store. Mihoshi, Ryoko, and Aeka, you three make a sweep around the rest of this floor, checking out all of the smaller shops. We'll meet back here once we're done." Mihoshi saluted. "Understood. Officer Mihoshi is on her way!" she announced. "You're not in uniform, and this isn't a GP operation," Kiyone reminded her in an annoyed voice. "All criminals must face the forces of justice!" said Mihoshi. "Oh, except you, of course, Ryoko," she added hastily. Ryoko smirked. "Gee, thanks, Mihoshi," she said. She and Aeka stood and watched the crowd as Mihoshi headed into the first shop and started to search. Meanwhile, Kiyone, Tenchi, and Washuu went aisle by aisle through the bookstore, their eyes peeled for Mecha-Tenchi. After a few minutes, Washuu tugged at Tenchi's arm. "I'll check out the Science and Mathematics sections," she said. "That way I won't have to keep up with you two and your long legs." "Keep an eye out," reminded Tenchi. Washuu headed down a row of astronomy books, glancing from face to face amongst the customers. "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question," asked Kiyone, as she and Tenchi searched the Travel section. "Not at all," replied Tenchi. He looked all around, feeling a bit odd looking for his own face in the crowd. "Has something happened between you and Aeka? Or you and Ryoko?" Tenchi blushed. "Well, uh..." "I'm sorry, forget I asked," said Kiyone. "No, I've got to get used to it," replied Tenchi, as the two of them moved over to the next aisle. "Was it that obvious?" Kiyone chuckled. "'Obvious' would be quite an understatement. So, which one?" "Ummm..." Tenchi hesitated, then decided to force an answer out of himself. "Both." "Both?" asked Kiyone. Tenchi nodded. "I don't want to go into the details, though. I suppose it seems a little weird, doesn't it?" "Just a little," agreed Kiyone. The two of them switched to the Foreign Language aisle. "I hope you don't think I'm *too* hentai," said Tenchi. "Huh?" Kiyone laughed. "Oh, not *that*. Though it is unusual. But I meant Ryoko and Aeka tolerating each other like this." "It surprises me a little, too," he replied. "I'd always expected that rivalry of theirs to end with one of them killing the other," said Kiyone. Tenchi nodded. "It almost did," he said quietly. He closed his eyes briefly, his face pained. "Almost." They turned and headed down one of the rows of the Japanese Literature section. Kiyone thought for a moment. "I'd better steer Mihoshi clear of you, then. She might do something stupid, and get herself killed." "She *likes* me?" asked Tenchi, his face a puzzled frown. "Oh, sure," replied Kiyone. "Don't you remember that dream world of hers?" "I thought that was just because I was the only available guy around," said Tenchi. Kiyone shook her head. "No, she likes you. I don't know how much, but she does. I was kind of hoping she'd settle down with you so I could get a new partner." "Well, I'm sort of taken now," Tenchi responded. "I hope she doesn't take it too hard." He frowned and shook his head. "What is it that makes them like me, anyway?" he wondered out loud. Kiyone nodded slightly. She was wondering the same thing. "He's not in with the science or math books," announced Washuu, walking up to them. "Well, that's good," said Tenchi. The three of them moved down the aisle, their eyes still searching through the faces of the customers. Meanwhile, Ryoko and Aeka walked rapidly through the gallery as Mihoshi made a quick check of the Nakanishi Gazai arts supply store. Carefully they scanned over the crowds in the open area of the mall, as well as in the shops, each looking for the target. Suddenly, both of them halted, transfixed. Mihoshi walked up behind them. "He's not in the arts store. Have you two checked out this bridal place yet?" Neither Aeka nor Ryoko answered her question as they continued to stare contemplatively. "Hey, Mihoshi, which of these do you think I'd look best in?" asked Ryoko. "Oh, that one," replied Mihoshi, pointing at one of the wedding dresses in the display. "I think I'd prefer this one, personally," said Aeka, looking at the one next to it. "Hmmm... yeah, that one does suit you better." Mihoshi thought for a moment. "This is *really* going to be big news!" "It is?" asked Ryoko. "Sure!" replied Mihoshi. "I mean, the crown princess of Jurai *marrying* a most-wanted criminal -- that's going to shock the whole galaxy! It'll be the scandal of the century! Oh, wow, and to think *I* was here helping you pick out the dresses for the wedding!" Aeka and Ryoko stood, putting forth their utmost willpower to keep from killing Mihoshi on the spot. "But won't it be confusing, if you're both brides?" asked Mihoshi. "Maybe one of you should be a groom, instead. Oh, and can Kiyone and I be a bridesmaids?" Sparks began to fly from the two girls' clenched fists. "Poor Tenchi, though -- he'll be *heartbroken* over this," Mihoshi added. "And speaking of Tenchi, there he goes now!" "WHERE?!" asked Aeka and Ryoko simultaneously. "In front of Socie Vizion," answered Mihoshi, pointing towards a beauty parlor. "Can't you see him?" Mecha-Tenchi and Ryoko saw each other at the same time. The pirate stretched out her hand to attack as the robot, realizing her intent, started running as fast as he could push bystanders out of the way. Ryoko unleashed a hail of energy blasts at her target, and shoppers screamed and ducked for cover. The storefront of Socie Vizion vanished in a roar amidst flame, smoke, and flying bits of very expensive cosmetics. "I'll get him!" shouted Aeka. Her forcefield began to form at the spot Mecha-Tenchi was running towards as Ryoko, snarling in frustration, hurled another volley and managed to smash the thankfully-unoccupied phone booths he ducked behind. "Out of my way!" shouted the robot, roughly knocking aside a terrified American tourist and changing direction. The man howled in pain as Aeka's forcefield activated around him in a frightful display of crackling lightning. Aeka winced and deactivated it an instant later. "Gomen nasai," she said, trying to find the robot again amidst the frantic crowd. "Ummm, shouldn't you two, you know, not be doing this with so many people around?" asked Mihoshi. "I'm not letting that thing get away!" growled Ryoko. Then she caught another glimpse of Mecha-Tenchi. "Ha! Thought you could hide, did you?" A glance to his left and a rapid dodge saved the robot. An instant after he began to move, Ryoko's energy bolts sizzled through the space he'd occupied a moment earlier and filled the air with a shower of frosted green glass when they shattered the windows of a dentist's office. "Damn! Stand still, will you?!" cursed Ryoko. Mecha-Tenchi leapt towards the escalator just as a loud crash announced the destruction of the front of yet another business. By now most of the shoppers were huddled on the floor, leaving the escalator clear. Mecha-Tenchi sprinted towards it as Ryoko ran after him, fighting down the reflex to fly or teleport instead, as she'd promised Tenchi she wouldn't. Mecha-Tenchi reached the head of the escalator, just a fraction of a second too late. "Gotcha," said Ryoko, grinning. An energy bolt smashed into Mecha-Tenchi's neck and sent the head flying through the air. It rolled along the floor as horrified screaming shoppers scrambled to get out of the way. "Oh, Kami-sama!" cried a prone woman, putting her hands over her daughter's eyes to shield her from the awful sight. "She just murdered that poor young boy!" "Huh? Oh, no, it was just a robot," assured Ryoko, walking over to the head and holding it up. "See?" Red fluid ran down the cables dangling from Mecha-Tenchi's severed cranium and dripped onto the floor. The woman and quite a few other shoppers fainted while others screamed some more. Ryoko blinked, turned and looked at the head, and saw the blood- like liquid trickling out of it. "WHAT THE...?!" She tossed it and dashed back towards the elevators, Aeka and Mihoshi already well ahead of her. Tenchi, Washuu, and Kiyone, having heard the sounds of battle and knowing who had to be responsible, were there waiting. "Come on, everyone, into the elevator," ordered Washuu, holding her foot in the doors to keep them open. The group quickly rushed inside. Washuu stepped back and summoned up her computer while Tenchi hit the button for the first floor. "Ryoko, you promised not to use your powers!" he said angrily. "You said you didn't want me to fly or teleport or walk through the walls," said Ryoko. "You didn't say a word about blasting anything." "I kinda figured it went without saying," replied Tenchi. "Why did you make that thing able to *bleed*?!" demanded Ryoko, looking down at Washuu. "Realism," replied the scientist. "He has an artificial capillary network all through his skin, except under the hair. For whipping and stuff like that." With her eyes fixed on her computer's display, Washuu didn't notice Aeka's disgusted expression. "Do you realize how *stupid* that made me look?" snarled Ryoko. "You should be fully aware of what you're dealing with before you mess with it," retorted Washuu, typing some commands. "Next you'll be saying I shouldn't have put in the systems for semen flavor extrapolation based on hypothetical dietary intake." She frowned. "Which reminds me: never, never set it for 'Asparagus.'" As her five companions turned a strange shade of blue, Washuu tapped a few last keys, and a black portal opened in the middle of the elevator. "OK, now follow me," she said, stepping through it. Everyone else followed her, and an instant later the group stood in the middle of Mihoshi and Kiyone's apartment again. With some more clicking of Washuu's keyboard, the portal closed in on itself and vanished. "Wow, that sure was *fun*!" said Mihoshi. Washuu nodded, her face beaming. "I'm so *happy* to see my latest invention perform so well under such grueling conditions! If only I'd given him weapons like Mecha-Washuu -- then he'd have won for sure!" Ryoko glared down at her. "Hey! Whose side are you on, anyway?" "And another thing," said Aeka. "Why was it able to move and react so fast?" "Scientific genius, that's how!" replied Washuu proudly. "He's got the most advanced body control mechanisms and sensory feedback circuitry in the universe!" "Now she tells us," grumbled Ryoko. "I put them in as part of his Tantric orgasm prolongation system," continued Washuu, "but I hadn't considered the effects they'd have on his combat abilities. He's nothing short of amazing!" "Yes, we were all very impressed," fumed Aeka. Washuu let out a happy sigh. "Seeing one's work function without a flaw -- oh, such joy! Such bliss! Such utter fulfillment!" She got out a handkerchief and dabbed her eyes. "So sad that he had to be destroyed at such a tender age!" "I'm speechless with grief," said Kiyone, smirking. Tears started to gush out of Mihoshi's eyes. "Poor Mecha-Tenchi! I'm so sorry for you, Washuu. You must be heartbroken!" Then she made herself stop crying and stood at attention. "As an officer of the Galaxy Police, I assure you that this crime will not go unpunished! The perpetrator will be caught and brought to justice!" "Hey!" shouted Ryoko. "I promise to leave no stone unturned in my search for..." she started to say, before her wrist communicator beeped loudly. "An alert! Somewhere in the Solar System, evil has reared its ugly head, and the time has come for the officers of the Galaxy Police to do their duty!" "We'd better get going," said Kiyone calmly. "Bring the Yagami down, Mihoshi." She removed a key from her chain and handed it to Tenchi. "Here's the spare. Lock up when you leave." "'Bye!" said Mihoshi, as the two officers ran out the door. "Well, where's the other Mecha-Me?" asked Tenchi, turning to Washuu. Washuu summoned her computer and checked. "I've got a fix on him, and according to the Earth computers I've hooked up with, the location he's at corresponds to a place called the Lavender Club." "Oh, no," groaned Tenchi, putting his face in his hands. "Is there something the matter, Ten-chan?" asked Aeka. "Not *there*! Why did he have to go *there*?!" he whined. "What's *wrong*, Tenchi?" asked Ryoko. "What's so bad about this 'Lavender Club' place?" "It's a soapland," replied Tenchi. "My dad sent me there last year for my sixteenth birthday..." "Ah..." said Washuu. "Of course! He's going through you and your father's memories to find the place where he'll have the highest probability of fulfilling his programming." Ryoko and Aeka's faces suddenly became very worried. They both thought of themselves in a way as Tenchi's "first", and what Tenchi had said didn't sound good at all. They stared at him as he hesitated. "...but I went to a movie, instead," he finished. The two girls let out their breath, very relieved. "Your *father* sent you to this place?" asked Aeka contemptuously. "Ten-chan, I realize I shouldn't speak ill of him, but..." "Him and his 'Tenchi, you're too shy around women'! Why does my dad have to be so hentai?" grumbled Tenchi. "Why can't he just mind his own business?" Ryoko thought for a moment. "Is that the kind of place where the women wash the guy with their..." she started. "Yes," interrupted Tenchi as quickly as he could. Then he sank into thought. She held her chin contemplatively for a moment, glanced over at Aeka, then stared at the princess' chest. "Hmm... well, I guess *one* of us can try it, anyway," she said in a very low voice. Aeka tightened her fists and glared at Ryoko. Tenchi sighed, not having noticed their interchange. "I don't want to go to someplace so... *seedy*, but we've got to catch him before he causes any more trouble." "Off we go, then!" shouted Washuu cheerfully. Half an hour and another subway ride later, they rounded the corner and saw the sign: Lavender Club, 10,000 yen per hour. Tenchi groaned, realizing that he definitely didn't have nearly that much money on him, if he had to pay just to get in. There was also the matter of the imposing man wearing a black suit and dark sunglasses, standing in front of the door. He walked over to Tenchi and looked down at him. "The management will be busy for the next twenty minutes or so," the man said. "I suggest you return then. Nobody goes in or out for now." "What are you supposed to be, the bouncer?" scoffed Ryoko, putting herself between Tenchi and the man. "I represent some of their business associates who handle security matters," replied the man. "And incidentally, they don't allow women inside who aren't employees. You looking for a job here? I hear that they're hiring." Ryoko's eyes blazed as she drew back her fist. "Why you...!" "Uh, Ryoko, don't!" warned Tenchi, grabbing her arm. "We were... just leaving." He had to practically drag Ryoko away as she glared at the man. In a moment they were back around the corner. "Who was that person, Ten-chan?" asked Aeka. "He seemed the criminal type." She smirked as she glanced at Ryoko. "I'm surprised you two didn't get along better." Ryoko looked daggers at the princess. "I'm not sure, but I think he was a yakuza," Tenchi replied. "Maybe he was getting protection money or something. At least, that's what they do in the movies." He turned to Washuu. "Are you sure he's in there?" Washuu brought her ethereal laptop into existence for just a moment, typed something, and nodded as it vanished. "Yep. Mecha- Tenchi's definitely in that building." Tenchi breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, we know where he is, and they won't be letting him out, at least. So we can relax for the next few minutes. I saw a cafe down the street. Why don't we wait there? I could use a drink, and we can sit down and figure out what we're going to do." After a short walk up the street, the four of them entered a brightly-decorated cafe. They quickly sat down in the only available booth -- the place was packed and busy -- and looked at the menus while waiting for their server. "Well, one thing's pretty obvious," said Tenchi. "I have to go in there and get him." Ryoko shot a concerned and angry glance at him. "No way, Tenchi!" she protested. "I can take care of it fine." "I can't let you do that," he replied, shaking his head. "Why not?" Ryoko demanded. "I'll go in there, grab him, and bring him back out. It would take me a minute or so to find him, tops." Tenchi frowned. "A minute of everyone in there watching you flying around and passing through the walls? And what's going to happen when they see you grab 'me' and tell the police I've been kidnaped? That's if it's not already on the news that I've been murdered at the mall." "Ten-chan, I think in this case it would be best for Ryoko to handle it," said Aeka. Ryoko turned and stared at her. "Wow. *This* is a first, princess. What is it you always say: that my powers are flashy and useless?" "There are occasional exceptions to everything. And I'd rather Ten-chan not go in... *there*," Aeka replied quietly. "Ahhhh. So *that's* it." Tenchi sighed, a hurt look spreading over his face. "You two really think I'd do something with the girls in that place? Don't you trust me?" Aeka reached over and held his hand. "Of *course* I trust you, Ten-chan! But I cannot trust *them*." Ryoko nodded. "I don't want you taking a risk like this, Tenchi." Tenchi shook his head and smiled as he put one arm around Aeka and the other around Ryoko. "'Risk'?" he laughed. "You know, for two such beautiful women, you sure are insecure sometimes." Aeka's cheeks flushed a deep pink, and Ryoko's colored slightly. They edged closer to Tenchi. "And it's not just looks," he continued. "All the other girls I've seen today -- it's like they're almost invisible, because they're so... *ordinary*. How can I even *notice* them, when I'm sitting between a space pirate and a crown princess?" He glanced from side to side for a moment. "Maybe I can understand you two feeling a little threatened by *each other*, but right now I think you're being... well, *silly*." Within seconds of each other, Aeka and Ryoko each gave Tenchi a kiss on the cheek. His smile deepened. "And if you're honest, I think you both can see that about each other, too," he added. "Right?" Ryoko nodded. "I'll say this for you, princess: you may be stuck- up, flat-chested, prudish, and domineering... but you're *not* ordinary, that's for sure." "Well, on your account, you may be brazen, lawbreaking, overbuilt, and gutter-brained... but you're certainly not mundane, that I'll grant you," replied Aeka. Tenchi frowned. "That wasn't exactly what I had in mind." "What you said just now, Tenchi... thank you," said Ryoko. "But there are a couple things you're overlooking." "Yes," agreed Aeka. "First, as I said, I *do* trust you. I'm simply afraid of what the women in such a place might choose to do to you." "I can take care of myself," said Tenchi confidently. "I won't let them touch me. I *swear*, OK? What's the other thing?" "Well... Tenchi, how are you going to *make* him come with you?" asked Ryoko. Tenchi's body seemed to wilt slightly. "I hadn't thought of that," he said quietly. "I guess you or Aeka could do it a lot easier with your powers." Contemptuous words echoed in Tenchi's memory. "*This* man... is *Ryoko's*?" Tenchi slumped a little lower in the booth, thinking that, in a way, Nagi had been right, and not just about Ryoko. He had no hope of matching Aeka's fighting ability, either. "I feel so... useless, all of a sudden," he said. "I shouldn't have to have you two fight my battles for me. It's supposed to be the other way around." Aeka pulled his arm tightly around her. "Ten-chan, you're very, very wrong. You will always be my champion, because of the strength of your *heart*. Your courage has nothing to do with power." Tenchi snorted derisively. "What courage?" Ryoko smiled at him. "I seem to remember someone brave enough to stand up to a most-wanted criminal one night a while ago," she said. "Using just a hoe, too. After he'd seen a gun was useless." "I didn't have anywhere to run to," said Tenchi. "That's not how I remember it," said Ryoko. "You could have tried to get away while I finished off Mihoshi. But you didn't." "I just doesn't feel right," sighed Tenchi. "There's something *wrong* about it." Washuu chuckled, then looked at him seriously. "Those are your male humanoid instincts talking, Tenchi. The old, old, caveman part of the brain. You need it about as much as you need your appendix." Tenchi considered her words for a moment. "I see what you mean, but still, I don't like feeling so *helpless*." He paused, thinking. "Mecha-Washuu had switch on her neck to shut her down. What about Mecha-Tenchi?" Washuu smiled very slightly. "No, he doesn't have one." "There's no way to turn him off?" Washuu shook her head. "That's not what I said." "So, there's another way? What is it?" "Finally! It's about *time* you asked that!" said Washuu. "As a matter of fact, yes, there *is* a way. All you have to do is get close enough for him to hear you, and say 'Zero, one, one, two, three, five, eight, thirteen, twenty-one, thirty-four.'" "Then why didn't you say so *BEFORE*?!?!" demanded Aeka, Ryoko, and Tenchi. "I wanted to see how long it would take you to think of it," replied Washuu. "But it doesn't shut him down. That puts him into homing mode. He'll follow you, or if he loses sight of you, he'll head back to the lab." "You mean we could have just said one, two, three, four..." started Ryoko. Washuu sighed. "Zero, one, one, two, three, five..." Ryoko clenched her fists. "Whatever. We could have just said some numbers, and he'd have gone home? The other one, too?" "Mmm-hmm," replied Washuu. "We needn't have chased them all over the city?" asked Aeka, barely keeping her anger in check. "Not if you'd had the sense to ask me about this," said Washuu. The two girls leaned towards her, faces full of rage. "WASHUU!!!" "My, there certainly are a lot of cicadas flying around this spring," commented Washuu, as her spectral computer materialized in front of her. Ryoko and Aeka paused, sweating, and backed down. "But why'd you wait for us to *ask*?" demanded Tenchi. "Call it a pop quiz," said Washuu. "But this was an *emergency*!" "Uh-uh. A comet striking the Earth, the sun exploding, these two girls cooking dinner..." Aeka and Ryoko glared at Washuu, who smiled. "... *those* are emergencies." Tenchi sighed and made himself calm down. "Well, at least now I can deal with this myself. I'll just go in there, find him, and say those numbers, and come back here." He smiled. "I don't need incredible super powers to do *that*." "But how will you find him?" asked Ryoko. "They won't let you go looking around, will they?" "I'll say my twin brother came in a while ago, and that I've got a message for him. It's true, sort of. If they've seen 'me' come in, they'll recognize me, anyway." The girls frowned. "At least let us go with you, Ten-chan," asked Aeka. "You heard that guy out front. They won't let you in," replied Tenchi, shaking his head. "Perhaps if we just wait," suggested Aeka hopefully. "He'll have to come out once his hour is up, won't he?" "Not if he has more money. We don't know where he got it. If he managed to get enough for an hour, what's to say he doesn't have enough for all night? I don't want to wait around here that long." "Maybe he'll get tired. How long can he fuck, anyway?" asked Ryoko. "Until his energy reserves run out," replied Washuu. She grinned proudly. "Which, depending on the position and various other factors, will take anywhere from one hundred to three hundred years." "That's... certainly a long time," commented Aeka, as Ryoko let out a brief impressed whistle. "I think that pretty much settles it, then," said Tenchi. "Please, Tenchiiiiii..." begged Ryoko, twirling a figure-eight on his chest with her fingertip. "Just let us handle this, OK?" "No," he insisted. Then he noticed the waitress heading towards their booth. "It's about time," he muttered. Tenchi glanced from side to side, and his heart sank a bit at the sight of their worried expressions. Then he smiled as a thought occurred to him. "Would you two to like to share a drink with me?" he asked. Aeka and Ryoko stared at each other for a few moments. "We'll get drinks, and you can share with each of us," suggested Aeka. "Yeah, that's better," agreed Ryoko. The waitress walked up to them, smiling. "Have you decided what you'd like?" "Yes, I'll take an Atomic Lokade," replied Washuu. "Uh, how old are you?" asked the waitress. "Much older than my supremely kawaii face would lead you to believe," replied Washuu. "I'm sorry, but I can't serve alcohol to someone so young. How about a lemonade?" suggested the waitress. "How about I turn you into a tanuki?" answered Washuu. The waitress smiled. "Oh, you're so *precious*!" she said, patting Washuu on the head. The scientist glared back at her silently. "Errr, OK, one lemonade for the young lady. How about the rest of you?" the waitress asked somewhat nervously. Shortly thereafter, Tenchi and Aeka smiled at each other across her glass, sipping a bright orange-colored drink through their straws, while Ryoko sat impatiently waiting for her turn. Washuu tasted her lemonade and frowned. She looked around, then dumped her drink into the potted plant next to the table. She tapped some keys when her computer appeared in front of her, and a black portal opened above the table. She put the glass inside. It came out filled with something glowing. Then the hole in the air closed. Blue and red flourescent swirls merged weirdly in the scientist's glass, giving off a shifting purplish light as she tested her concoction. "What in the world is *that*?" asked Tenchi. "Sex In The Lab," replied Washuu. "Want to try it?" Ryoko and Aeka shifted closer to Tenchi, eying Washuu fiercely. "I've never seen that in any bar *I've* been to," said the pirate. "Naturally. The only place they serve these is at the Alumni Club at the Science Academy." Washuu put down her glass. "Which reminds me..." she added, summoning up her computer and the subspace hole again. She reached in and withdrew small rectangular object before the portal vanished. "This is for your fees at the soapland, Tenchi. In case you have to pay just to get in, or something." "What is it? Your credit card?" laughed Tenchi. "No, someone else's credit card," replied Washuu. Tenchi nearly choked on his drink. "WHAT?!" "Hey, way to go, Washuu!" cheered Ryoko. "Well, it's not *really* a credit card. But that's the closest thing to it you have here, and it'll do for now. It's for one of the other professors at the Science Academy," explained Washuu. "He always bragged about how he could copy *anything*, so one time I copied *this*, and I've been hanging on to it for the right time to play a little trick on him." Washuu glared at the face on the card: a rather ugly old man with white hair and beard curled like the tentacles of an octopus. "So, my theory about anti-tachyon refraction by meson pairs at the subspace inversion boundary was 'preposterous', was it?" "Anti-what?" asked Tenchi. "Never mind. An old academic... *discussion*." She waved her fingers over the card and the surface coloration changed completely. Then she handed it over to him. "Hachijuni Bank Visa Plutonium Card, for Tenchi Masaki." Tenchi examined it suspiciously. It looked real enough. It even had his photo ID on it. "Don't you mean 'Platinum Card'?" Washuu shook her head. "No, Plutonium Card. Just like it says." "Is there such a thing? On Earth, anyway?" "There is now." "Will it *work*, though? I've never heard of it, and don't the banks have to approve the charges and all that?" asked Tenchi. Washuu seemed about to launch into a long dissertation on the subject, but stopped herself, deciding against it. "Don't worry, it'll work. It would take too long to explain, but that's not your ordinary piece of plastic." Tenchi thought for a moment. "What's the difference Platinum and Plutonium, anyway?" "Sixteen protons, twelve electrons, and the neutrons depend on the isotope," answered Washuu. "No, I mean between the two kinds of *card*," groaned Tenchi. "A much higher credit limit. In your terms, 3,141,592,653,589,793 yen." Tenchi face-faulted. "You're *serious*?!" he asked, when he got up. "Sure. Why wouldn't I be?" replied Washuu. "But that's probably more money than there *is*! And it's *stealing*!" said Tenchi, staring nervously at the card. Ryoko shrugged. "So? What's the problem?" "Who does this belong to, anyway?" asked Tenchi. "Won't he get upset?" "But that's the idea!" replied Washuu. "He's an old colleague of mine from the Science Academy. This card charges against his departmental expense account." She started rubbing her hands together gleefully. "I always said he had a thing for little girls, and when the department chair sees what you've charged as course-related services...!!!" "I really don't think it's right," said Tenchi. Washuu clasped her hands together and looked up at him with sparkling eyes. "Please, Tenchi? Please? Pretty please?" Tenchi sighed. "Alright, alright. I guess I have to, to catch the robot, anyway." "And afterwards, you can use it to rent a nice hotel suite, with a waterbed and a hot tub," added Ryoko, cuddling up to Tenchi. "No," replied Tenchi. Ryoko eased herself onto his lap, slid her hand between his legs, and started licking his neck. "Are you sure? Otherwise I'm liable to start in on you here in the restaurant." Aeka looked over at Ryoko and glared at her, but the pirate didn't even seem to notice. "Come on, Ryoko, please! People are staring!" protested Tenchi. "Ryoko...!" hissed Aeka. "Bubble-bath in the jaccuzzi, satin sheets on the bed, a few bottles of Daiginjo sake..." murmured Ryoko. "Cut it out!" said Tenchi. "If we don't catch that thing, I'm going to be in big trouble! Don't you care what happens to me?" Ryoko froze. Then she brought her face level with his. "Of course I care, Tenchi. I just want us to have a nice time, that's all." She sighed and moved off of him. "There. Happy?" Tenchi shook his head, wondering why Ryoko always seemed to treat each question as a choice between everything and nothing. "I'll talk to you about it later. OK?" "I guess," she said, looking away dejectedly. For a moment, Tenchi sat there trying to think of what he could do. He sighed. Wasn't there anything short of having sex in full view of the entire restaurant that Ryoko would accept? Then he smiled. "Hey, I thought we were going to share this," he said, bending down and starting to sip the blue, frothy beverage in Ryoko's glass through one of the straws. "Or do I have to drink it by myself?" "Oh, yeah, I forgot," she answered, quickly taking the other straw, and Tenchi quietly begged every kami in existence that she not do anything lewd with it. His prayers were answered. Ryoko simply drank the stuff -- whatever it was, it was almost the color of her hair -- and watched him. "I still want to get you into a hot tub with me," she said after a few seconds. "Wouldn't you like it? It'd be so nice and *warm*!" "I don't want to with stolen money," answered Tenchi. "Spoilsport," accused Ryoko. "I think Ten-chan's integrity is quite admirable, and you should respect it," put in Aeka. Ryoko and Aeka's eyes narrowed as they started to glare at each other. "And I think it's about time for me to get going," said Tenchi. Aeka took hold of his hands. "Ten-chan, do you really have to go into that horrible place?" "I don't like it either, Tenchi," said Ryoko. "I already explained why I have to," replied Tenchi. "What were those numbers again, Washuu?" "Zero, one, one, two, three, five, eight, thirteen, twenty-one, thirty-four," she replied. Tenchi got out a pen and wrote them down on his palm. He started to try to slide out of the booth, but both Ryoko and Aeka pointedly refused to budge to let him by, so he ducked under the table instead and emerged in the aisle. Ryoko looked at him, her face worried. "Watch yourself, Tenchi. OK?" Next to her, Aeka nodded, her expression equally concerned. "Yes. *Please* be careful, Ten-chan." Tenchi sighed. "I really wish you'd trust me more," he replied sadly. Then he smiled. "Both of you should know I don't give in easily." He turned and left, and as he did, he could feel their eyes on him. Wishing he could have found a way to allay their fears a bit more, Tenchi headed down the sidewalk towards the soapland. He really hoped his plan would come off smoothly. He turned the corner, and saw to his relief that the entrance to the Lavender Club was now deserted. He reached the door and halted, glancing around to be sure no one was watching him. Tenchi forced down his nervousness, went inside, and walked up to the counter. "Welcome to the Lavender Club. How may I help you?" asked the man behind it. "Well, you see, there's someone who came in a while ago that I need to talk to. He's my twin brother -- he looks just like me." "Can't do anything for you there. I just got on duty. You're the first customer I've talked to." Tenchi blinked. This didn't bode well. "It's sort of important. I really need to see him." "Sorry. I can't let anyone back there except to be with one of the girls. Are you sure he's here?" "Positive. Couldn't you go look in the rooms, and find him? Like I said, he looks just like me." "I can't disturb the other customers like that. Can't you wait until his hour is up?" Tenchi laughed nervously. "Well, he's a little... oversexed. He said something about staying here until you close." Takemura let out a whistle and grinned. "Damn. I wish *I* had that kind of stamina! OK, even if he's going to be here for several hours, the same girl's not going to stay with him the whole time, so when the one he's with now comes out, she'll recognize you, and I'll have her go get him. Sound alright?" "Yeah, sure," answered Tenchi, letting out his breath. "Thank you. I'll just have a seat, then." "Hold on a second," said Takemura. "If he was going to stay here until closing, that's eighty thousand yen I'm giving up." Tenchi smiled and got out the credit card Washuu had given him, then bowed politely. "Please accept my apologies for disturbing your business. Charge one hundred thousand, and keep the change." "Thanks you, *sir*!" replied Takemura enthusiastically. He handed Tenchi that day's copy of the Sanyo Shimbun. "Read this while you're waiting, and make yourself comfortable." Tenchi sat down and opened to the sports page. The headline read "Baystars Beat Dragons 6-4." He started browsing, feeling relaxed now that he could see the light at the end of the tunnel. While waiting for Tenchi's transaction to be verified, Takemura flipped through the index cards in a small box labeled "Preferred Customers." Anyone who could lay down a hundred thousand yen without batting an eye was someone he wanted to come back, and if he wasn't already in the file, Takemura intended to add him before he forgot. *Ah. Tenchi Masaki, here it is. Hmm... damn, this is over a year old. Hmm... hmm... See attached instructions...* He unfolded piece of paper clipped to the card. *Hmm... mmm-hmm... WHAT THE...?!* "Hi!" said a woman in a black business suit as she walked in through the door. "Oh, hi, Mari. You're sure early today." "Yeah, I was going to go down to the Tennoji Mio, but they've cordoned it off. Did you hear? Someone got murdered there today, in broad daylight! It's all over the news!" "No, I didn't," answered Takemura. "Murdered?" Tenchi hid behind the paper and slid down a little in his seat. "Uh-huh. They say it was some kind of terrorist attack." Takemura shook his head. Then he remembered noticed the card and paper he was holding, and remembered. "Mari, come back here. I want you to take a look at this." They walked back into the hall. The girl leaned over his shoulder, and he started reading in a whisper. "This guy was supposed to come here a year ago for his sixteenth birthday. His dad left instructions for it and everything! Listen: 'My son is rather bashful around women, but I want to be sure he enjoys himself, even if he doesn't want to, so feel free to use whatever force is necessary. Tie him up if you have to, I don't care. And he'll probably try to chicken out as soon as the girl comes out to meet him. Please be prepared. Signed, Nobuyuki Masaki.'" "Oh, how sweet!" said Mari. "And get this -- his dad wants us to *videotape* it, and paid in advance for it! I guess I'll have to return the money, I don't have the camera around today." He turned to the girl. "Think you can show the kid a good time?" "Definitely," replied Mari. "It'll be a pleasure. I love the shy, innocent type." "It's taken him over a *year* to work up the nerve to come here! 'Shy' isn't the half of it! His dad must have decided to leave this on file for the kid's next birthday." "Ooh! This is going to be such *fun* for him!" squealed Mari. "Shhh! He'll hear you!" hissed Takemura. "Now hold on while I get some rope or something." He went to a closet and grabbed a long extension cord and coiled it. Then he whispered to Mari. "You distract him while I sneak up behind him." "Gotcha," agreed the girl. She went out into the lobby. Tenchi looked up nervously as she approached. "Hi, Masaki-kun," she said, standing next to him. "My name's Mari. So, how are you tonight?" "Uh, fine," replied Tenchi, glancing over the edge of his paper as he hid behind it as if it were a concrete wall. She smiled and sat down next to him. "I'm looking forward to going back to the room with you." Her hand started reaching towards his knee. Tenchi defensively placed the newspaper over his lap. "No insult intended, but I'm not here to do that. I'm waiting to talk to another customer." Mari smiled. "That's OK. *I've* decided you're going to do it, anyway." Tenchi blinked. "This is starting to sound familiar," he muttered. "What was that?" she asked curiously, as she edged closer to him. "I think I'd better be going," said Tenchi, standing up. Mari stood up with him. "Don't go. I've got something special planned for you." "Why am I not surprised?" asked Tenchi. He swallowed hard and started to back away. Someone grabbed his arms and tightened a noose around his wrists. He turned around, half-expecting to see Ryoko or Aeka, instead coming face to face with Takemura. "What do you think you're *doing*?!?!" demanded Tenchi, struggling to get away. Takemura wound the cord around Tenchi's arms, and whistled slightly. "Damn, he wasn't kidding!" "Let me go!!!" shouted Tenchi, squirming frantically. "Sorry, but we have specific instructions," said Takemura. Alerted by the noise, a girl wearing a tight green dress walked out into the lobby. "What's going on here?" she asked. "Oh, Nakajo! Give us a hand here, will you?" asked Mari. "Get them off of me! They're nuts!" yelled Tenchi. "I'll explain... *OOOF!*... later," promised Takemura, trying to hold on to Tenchi. "Hey, don't struggle so much, honey, it'll be fun!" said Nakajo. "AGGHHHH!!! LET ME GO!!!" shouted Tenchi, still trying to escape. "I SAID, LET ME GO!!!" "I dunno about this," said Takemura. "He's going to upset all the other customers." "Once I start working on him, he'll quiet down," answered Mari slyly. "Well, let's get him into the room," he said. "Mari, you get his legs. I'll carry him by the shoulders. Nakajo, put your hand over his mouth, will you?" "Do you want us to give him the two-girl special?" asked Nakajo, clamping her palm over Tenchi's face. "Yeah, why not," replied Takemura, grunting slightly as he lifted Tenchi. "If it'll keep him quiet." The three of them carried Tenchi into one of the private rooms. Takemura held him fast while Nakajo kept him silent and Mari removed his clothes. Getting the shirt off required untying him, and Tenchi almost broke free, but not quite. Once he was naked, Takemura tied him up again and deposited him in the pink tub at the back of the room. "LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!" screamed Tenchi, the moment his mouth was uncovered. Nakajo quickly put her hand over it again while Mari poured bubble-bath into the tub and turned on the water. "Don't worry, silly, this isn't going to hurt a bit," assured Nakajo. Tenchi's eyes bugged out as Mari started slowly removing her clothes. "I'll see you three in an hour," said Takemura. He smiled and bowed towards Tenchi. "Enjoy your stay here at the Lavender Club, Mr. Masaki." "MMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!" answered Tenchi, struggling desperately. Takemura exited, closed the door behind him, and resumed his position behind the counter where he opened a soda can and began drinking. Meanwhile, back at the cafe, Washuu was busy at her laptop, perfecting the design for the second version of Mecha-Tenchi while Ryoko and Aeka pensively sipped their drinks. Ryoko finished hers, slurping loudly with the straw. Then she put it down and frowned. "Um, Aeka, I'm going to..." she motioned towards the door with her eyes "...go outside." "Fine, we'll be here," replied Aeka, most of her mind occupied and very far away. "No, I mean, I'm going to go..." Ryoko jerked her head slightly in the direction of the exit "...*outside*." Aeka blinked, then realized the meaning and nodded. "Oh, I see. Yes, I think perhaps I'll join you." "Don't go too far," said Washuu, concentrating on her work. "Well, what is it?" asked Aeka, once the two left the restaurant. "Tenchi's been gone an awful long time. Or haven't you noticed?" "Of course I've noticed!" snapped Aeka. "What do you suppose I've been thinking about, all this time?" She calmed down, and the anger in her face changed to worry. "I wonder if perhaps something's... happened to him?" "That's just what I was thinking. We've got to go into that place." "But you heard the proprietor. Women aren't allowed in there." "He *did* say they were hiring," said Ryoko, grinning. Aeka's eyes widened as she gasped in horror. "Ryoko! I'm shocked at such a suggestion, even from *you*! The very *idea*...!" Ryoko waved her hands. "No, no, no. We just *say* we want to work there to get inside. Then we can make sure none of the girls there get near Tenchi." "I don't think it's necessary." "You don't?!" "I trust Ten-chan." "And when one of them sees how sweet he is, and takes a liking to him...? Aeka frowned. "You're right. That's a definite possibility." She thought for a moment. "But certainly Ten-chan is capable of defending himself." "There could be *dozens* of them in there! He can't fight them *all* off!" "I suppose not," agreed Aeka, looking even more worried. "We *have* to get in there!" "I still think it's quite embarrassing," said Aeka. "Are you going to let some Earth bitch get her hands on Tenchi because you're too shy? I don't know about you, but I'm going." "Very well, but I certainly hope he doesn't see us in there," replied Aeka. "You never held anything back trying to stop *me*," said Ryoko. "I remember someone smashing through a stone wall in a certain cave a few months back..." "The cave was merely damp. This place stinks of iniquity, and I'd much rather be mistaken for a monster than a harlot," replied Aeka. "But I see your point." Her eyes narrowed as determination set on her face, and she began striding rapidly down the sidewalk towards the Lavender Club. "Once more I must save Ten-chan from the clutches of women of degenerate moral character." "HEY!" shouted Ryoko. "THAT'S NOT FUNNY!" "You made the comparison, not me," said Aeka, a smirk replacing her wrathful scowl for an instant. Ryoko's expression turned thoughtful. "I sure hope he resists as much now as he did then," she said quietly, as the two of them advanced on their objective. When they reached it, Aeka shoved the door open with a bang, startling Takemura into spraying a mouthful of soda onto the floor. Ryoko shut the door behind her almost as loudly, and the two girls walked up to him with faces that radiated hostility. They glanced around the lobby. Not seeing Tenchi raised the level of anger in their expressions several notches, and they focused it on the only person in sight. "We are here to seek employment at this depraved establishment!" announced Aeka, slamming her hands down on the counter and glaring at Takemura. The man reflexively backed away under the force of their intense stares. "You want to work here, you mean?" Aeka nodded. "We will begin at one," she decreed, heading towards the hall that led to the back rooms. "Whoa, whoa, wait a minute!" said Takemura as he blocked her way. "First you need to fill out the forms, and I need some I.D. to be sure you're not minors. Then the law requires you get a blood test." "Blood test?" replied Aeka haughtily. "I'll have you know my lineage is of the highest conceivable character." "No, I mean to be sure you don't have any sexually transmitted diseases that you might spread to the customers," said Takemura. "WHAT?!?! How *dare* you imply such a thing of me!" shrieked Aeka. "Out of my way!" she ordered, pushing past him. Takemura grabbed her arm. "Now, Miss, please calm down, I'm sure..." "KEEP YOUR HANDS *OFF* ME, YOU FILTH!!!" shouted Aeka, slamming the man into the wall. "Come along, Ryoko," she said, looking back into the lobby as Takemura slid, unconscious, onto the floor. Ryoko followed, shaking her head. "And people tell me *I'm* pushy sometimes," she said under her breath. A bloodcurdling scream tore through the walls. Both girls immediately recognized the voice. "Ten-chan!" "Tenchi!" They rushed towards the source as doors started opening and women in various states of undress peeked out to see what the commotion was. Aeka smashed through the only still-closed door. Ryoko teleported through it in front of her. Then they both froze. Aeka's expression was cold and merciless as her force field started to form. Globes of energy formed in Ryoko's hands as she glared at the two soapland girls who were holding down Tenchi. Fire burned in the pirate's eyes, her fangs gleamed, and her face was that of a vengeful executioner. "Both of you are *dead*," she said slowly. Ryoko's expression left not a shred of doubt, and Mari and Nakajo swooned onto the floor. "Forget that, just untie me!" demanded Tenchi, squirming amidst a tubful of suds. "Hey, don't leave now, we were just getting started!" said the same voice from out in the hall. Tenchi blinked and remembered what Washuu had said. He wracked his mind for the numbers, and couldn't recall them. Remembering where he'd written them down, he brought his hand up out of the water and looked at it. The writing had been washed off. He cringed as he watched Aeka out in the hall preparing to activate her force field. "Zero, one, one, two, three, five, eight, thirteen, twenty-one, thirty-four," called someone out in the lobby. "Damn. Excuse me, but I've got to go now," said Mecha-Tenchi. Aeka blinked as the robot walked past her towards the sound of his creator's voice. Ryoko helped Tenchi up as her energy sword sliced through the cord around his wrists. He scrambled to put on his clothes, not bothering to dry, while the pirate looked down at Mari and Nakajo, obviously contemplating a gruesome fate for them. Tenchi noticed, made a quick mental note to have a long talk with her about the subject, and grabbed her arm. "Forget about that, Ryoko. I want to get our of here *now*!" He pulled her after him down the hall and jumped over Takemura's prone form out into the lobby. Washuu was standing there next to Aeka and Mecha-Tenchi, in front of a black opening in the air. "You followed us here?" demanded Aeka. "*Somebody* has to be the babysitter," replied Washuu. Hearing a groan from the hall, Tenchi looked back and saw Takemura rubbing his head as he slowly got up. "Charge another million yen to that credit card, and forget you ever saw us. Deal?" he asked. Takemura blinked. "A... *million*?" "That's right. Is it a deal?" "Sure!" answered the man. His head didn't hurt quite *that* bad. Takemura watched as the five of them ran into the black circle in the middle of the lobby before the dark shape shrank in on itself and vanished. He stood up dizzily, went to the counter, and picked up the credit card. There was no question of calling the police. They'd never believe him anyway. Moments later, the group stood in the midst of Washuu's lab, greatly relieved. All except Mecha-Tenchi. "Can you put me back in normal mode?" he begged Washuu. "I want to go find some more women!" Washuu shook her head. "No. I've got some modifications to make on you." "PLEASE!!!" Washuu sighed. "One zero one one zero one zero one." Mecha-Tenchi's head slumped down as he froze, deactivated. "I don't *ever* want to go through anything like that *again*," moaned Tenchi. "What exactly *happened*, anyway, Tenchi?" asked Ryoko. "I was waiting out in the lobby, and that guy and one of the girls came out and tied me up," answered Tenchi. "WHAT?!?!" shrieked Aeka. "How *dare* they?!" "Don't worry, it didn't go much farther than that," assured Tenchi. "You two came in at just the right time." "I *told* you the girls would be all over him," said Ryoko. Aeka nodded. "Well, I'm not going back *there* again," said Tenchi. "Right now I just want sit down and rest." Ryoko grinned at him. "Wanna go take a bath?" Tenchi shook his head. "Not after *that*. Some other time. OK?" As he, Aeka, and Ryoko walked out of the lab, Washuu busied herself hooking Mecha-Tenchi into her computer. The next one was going to be even *better*, she decided. Some time afterwards, Tenchi, Ryoko, and Aeka sat in the living room, watching TV. Tenchi's eyes were glued to the screen as the conclusion of the episode neared, while Aeka and Ryoko tried their best to show polite interest. Aeka was doing a much, much better job of it than Ryoko was. "It's ready for launch." "OK. Not that it matters, right?" "Of course it does. We have no future unless we beat the Angels." "Ikari, are you truly satisfied with this?" On screen, behind folded white-gloved hands, a man's lips curled into a cryptic smile. "Launch!" shouted a woman with long blue hair. A young, confused boy screamed as sudden, terrifying forces unleashed by science tightened their merciless grip around him. Klaxons sounded, doors opened, and a giant humanoid purple-and- neon-green fighting machine burst from the ground to face its adversary. In a control room, the blue-haired woman watched apprehensively. "Shinji-kun... come back alive." The instant the credits started to roll, Ryoko wrapped her arms around Tenchi and pulled herself closer to him. "That was very... interesting, Ten-chan," said Aeka, still watching the screen. "I can think of much more interesting things to do, though," said Ryoko, starting to lick Tenchi's neck. Aeka looked over at her and frowned. Seeing the princess' expression, Ryoko smiled back at her and started moving a hand towards Tenchi's crotch. Tenchi gulped. "Actually, Ryoko, first I've gotta... go." He stood up, and headed towards the bathroom. "Wait up, Tenchi!" called Ryoko, floating off of the couch. "Ahem." Ryoko looked back at Aeka. "What?" "I think Ten-chan would prefer that you not accompany him into the bathroom," suggested Aeka. Ryoko blinked. "He would? You're not just saying that so I'll be with him less than you, are you?" she asked suspiciously. Aeka shook her head and sighed. "I'll let him be alone for that, if you will," she said. "Oh. Alright, then, I guess." "And another thing. Will you *please* be a little more circumspect with regards to Ten-chan, when you're not in private? It's important that he not be embarrassed." Ryoko folded her hands behind her head and looked at the ceiling. "You mean, sit there like an ice statue?" Aeka grit her teeth. "No, I'm simply asking that you show a little restraint." "I wasn't fucking him on the couch, was I?" asked Ryoko, smiling. "Not *yet*..." admitted Aeka. "Well, you see? I was showing restraint." Aeka sighed again, exasperated. "Can't you just wait for a few minutes? You'll be going to bed with him tonight, anyway." "She will be?" gasped Nobuyuki, walking in from the hall. "Really?" Moments later, Tenchi returned from the bathroom. Seeing his father standing there, he smiled. "So, dad, how was work today?" "SON!!! I JUST HEARD THE WONDERFUL NEWS!!!" shouted Nobuyuki, grabbing Tenchi and hugging him. Tenchi blinked. "News?" Nobuyuki dropped to his knees and bowed in front of Achika's kami shrine. "Oh, dear, I'm so happy!" he said in a joyous voice. "Remember those pretty girls from outer space that are staying with us? Tenchi's *finally* sleeping with one of them!" "DAD!" "I see what you mean, about not embarrassing him," said Ryoko under her breath. Aeka glared at her for a moment, then hid her face in her hands, ashamed at what she'd mistakenly done. "I'm so proud! I was always so worried about how shy he is around women, but now he's grown up into a healthy young man!" "DAD!!" "And he's got such a beautiful girlfriend!" Nobuyuki sighed. "I wish you were here to see this. Your son's finally got himself a girl!" Aeka frowned for a moment, weighing two unpleasant alternatives. On one hand, Tenchi was obviously being made uncomfortable by his father's behavior, and wanted it to end as soon as possible. And part of her was quite happy to be spared being discussed by Nobuyuki in such a way. On the other hand, there was the matter of Ryoko receiving exclusive status as "Tenchi's girl." The princess cleared her throat. "*Two* girls," she said quietly. "Two?" asked Nobuyuki, his eyes widening as he, Ryoko, and Tenchi turned to look at Aeka. Then he faced Tenchi. "Is this true?!" "Yeah, dad, I know it's a little unusual, but..." Nobuyuki jumped up and grabbed Tenchi in a crushing hug. "OH, SON!!! I'M SO *PROUD* OF YOU!! Honey, did you hear that? Your son's got a *pair* of girlfriends! He's sleeping with *two* of them!" "DAAAD!!!" "Two of them! I can hardly believe it!" repeated Nobuyuki. Then he looked back at the girls. "At the same time?" he asked hopefully. "NO!!!!!!" shouted Ryoko and Aeka. Nobuyuki shrugged and knelt before the kami shrine again. "Well, anyway, I don't know when he's going to sleep with the rest of them, but I'm sure he'll get around to it, sooner or later. Won't you, Tenchi?" "DAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!" "Stay right there!" ordered Nobuyuki, as he got up and ran from the room. Tenchi sat down on the couch next to Aeka and Ryoko, and the three of them started to sweat. "I'm sorry, Ten-chan. Truly I am," the princess said quietly, hanging her head. "He overheard something I said to Ryoko. I should have been more discreet." Tenchi sighed and put his arm around her. "It's not your fault, Ae-chan. He'd have found out eventually." "'Found out'?" asked Ryoko, sounding a little hurt. Tenchi smiled and hugged her with his other arm. "It's not like that, Ryoko. But you saw his reaction. And I think something worse is coming up..." "Tenchi! Have you seen my camcorder?" asked Nobuyuki, walking back into the living room. His eyes widened when he saw his son's arms around the two women, and he cursed whatever terrible misfortune had deprived him of the means to capture the image forever. "No, I haven't," Tenchi replied, cringing. Nobuyuki frowned in thought. "I wonder where it is. I can't find any of my other cameras, either. Still, 8mm, video -- they're all gone." "Maybe you misplaced them," suggested Tenchi. "I'll keep looking," said Nobuyuki. He started leaving the room again, then paused and looked back at them. "Stay like that. *Just like that*!" Then he resumed his frantic search. "I don't think I'm going to be happy when he finds them," muttered Tenchi. "Neither will I," said Aeka. "I have a *very* bad feeling about what exactly he intends to take pictures of." "Well, you've seen how my dad is. He wants to film everything. And I mean *everything*." "Don't worry, he won't find them," chuckled Ryoko. Aeka and Tenchi looked at Ryoko. She grinned, and their eyes widening in realization. The princess inclined her head slightly and sighed with intense relief. "Domo arigato gozaimasu," she said with a quiet smile. "Don't mention it," Ryoko answered. "Remember how I'm always telling you not to wreck stuff in my house, Ryoko?" said Tenchi. Ryoko sighed. "Yeah, I know. I know." Tenchi smiled. "This time, I don't mind..." Nobuyuki walked back into the room, putting on his coat. "I'm going into town to buy myself a new camcorder. You three want to come with me?" "...but you should have planned for *this*," finished Tenchi. "Dad, what exactly do you need it for, anyway?" Nobuyuki drew himself up proudly. "As your father, it's my duty to record your development in s... uh, that is, *life*." "I think we'll stay here," said Tenchi. "OK," said Nobuyuki. He started to sprint for the front door, then skidded to a stop. "Remember, don't move! Stay *exactly* like that!" he said, turning around. "And don't do anything until I get my camera." He dashed out of the house and slammed the door behind him. All three of them sighed with relief as squealing tires announced Mr. Masaki's departure, then tensed at the thought of what would happen when he returned. Moments later the door opened again, and Sasami walked inside. "Hi, everyone!" she said, rushing towards the kitchen with Ryo- oh-ki at her heels. "Excuse me, but I've got to fix dinner." Ryoko thought for a moment. "Get over here, Ryo-oh-ki," she commanded. Reluctantly the cabbit left the princess' side and hopped up to stand in front of Ryoko. "Miya?" she asked. "You've got guard duty tonight," said the pirate. "You're going to stand watch outside Tenchi's bedroom." Ryo-oh-ki turned her face away. "Miya," she refused. "OK, OK, I'll give you some carrots," grumbled Ryoko. "Miya," repeated the cabbit. "Well, what do you want, then?" "Miyaaaaaa," answered Ryo-oh-ki, nudging her head against the air and purring dreamily. "No way! I told you, I'm not letting you *near* him! He's a disease-ridden pest!" "Miiyaa!" said the cabbit, looking at Tenchi. Ryoko's eyes blazed as she glared at Ryo-oh-ki and hugged Tenchi. "Now you cut that out! There's no comparison between the two!" "Miya," replied the stubborn spaceship. Ryoko and Ryo-oh-ki stared each other down, eyes locked in a fierce, unblinking test of wills. Seconds ticked by. More seconds ticked by. Even more seconds ticked by. "Oh, alright," sighed Ryoko. "If he shows up, fine, but I'm not letting you go looking for him. OK?" "MIYA!" said Ryo-oh-ki happily, bounding into Ryoko's lap. "Oversexed pain in the neck," muttered Ryoko, petting the cabbit. Aeka looked at the ceiling and very carefully said nothing at all. Later that evening, after finally giving in and letting his father film him sitting with Aeka and Ryoko on the couch, Tenchi enjoyed a short respite while Nobuyuki turned the house upside- down in a desperate quest for a spare battery pack. All of them seemed to have vanished suddenly. Ryoko took the opportunity to give Tenchi another kiss. "Time to go upstairs," she said, smiling and putting her hand on his knee. Tenchi looked over at Aeka. "Do you mind, Ae-chan?" he asked. Aeka closed her eyes for a moment. "No, go ahead, Ten-chan," she answered very quietly. "I'll see you in the morning." Ryoko stood up next to the couch, staring nervously towards the sound of Nobuyuki rummaging through every closet in the house in search of batteries for his camcorder. There was always the chance she hadn't gotten *all* of them, and she'd realized that while Ryo-oh-ki might make an alert lookout, she didn't have much stopping power in her cabbit form. Ryoko turned and glanced down at Aeka. "Uh, princess, could ask you for a teensy little favor?" she said. "What is it?" asked Aeka. "Do you think you could order Azaka and Kamadake to stand guard outside Tenchi's room tonight?" asked Ryoko. Anguish filled Aeka's face as she looked down at the floor, and after a few seconds she spoke with a pain-laced voice. "I suppose so," she replied bleakly. Tenchi looked at Ryoko and frowned. "Wait for me in my... wait upstairs, OK?" he asked in a tone of disapproval. Ryoko nodded and floated towards the stairs. When she reached them, she stopped and turned around. "Um, Aeka?" she asked. "Yes?" the princess answered wearily. "Thanks," said Ryoko. Aeka sighed. "You're welcome." Ryoko vanished into one of the walls. Tenchi turned to face Aeka and took hold of her hand. "I'm sorry, Ae-chan," he said softly. "I wish this didn't hurt you so much. Either of you." Aeka nodded. "I know, Ten-chan. But what you gave me last night... it was as I dreamed it would be. Now I must go back and sleep alone, almost as if it never happened." "It *did* happen," replied Tenchi, smiling. "And I'll never forget it, oujo-sama." Tenchi put his arms around Aeka and held her as he leaned over and kissed her. She embraced him in return, hoping that these few moments would help her endure the upcoming lonely night more easily. "I love you, Ten-chan," Aeka said, when their lips parted. "Pleasant dreams." "I love you, too, Ae-chan," he answered, kissing her lightly again. "I'm sorry it has to hurt like this." Aeka squeezed his hand. "You needn't worry. I'll be fine," she assured him. She smiled. "If Ryoko can endure it, so can I." The princess held Tenchi's chin as she gave him a final goodnight kiss. Then she froze, staring in horror at something less than ten meters away. Noticing her expression, Tenchi slowly turned his head to follow her gaze. "DAD!!!" he groaned, looking directly into the lens of his father's camcorder. "Don't mind me," said Nobuyuki. "Just pretend I'm not even here." Aeka blushed a vivid shade of red, scowling at Mr. Masaki. "Azaka! Kamadake!" she shouted. "Yes, m'am!" the two guardians replied, materializing on either side of the couch. Nobuyuki stepped back a pace, suddenly covered in sweat. "Uh, 'bye!" He dashed out of the living room, seeking safety in some other area of the house. For just an instant Aeka's offended sense of dignity urged her to send the two guardians off to bring back Nobuyuki's head, but she quickly forced the idea from her thoughts. The man was, after all, Tenchi's father, regardless of how he might act sometimes. "Tonight you will guard Ten-chan's room," Aeka commanded. "Should Mr. Masaki seek to open the door, you will stop him, without harming him. Is that understood?" "Not entirely, Aeka-hime," replied Azaka. "Who is 'Ten-chan'?" "And where is his room?" asked Kamadake. "Oh? Yes, I haven't told you," said Aeka. "Ten-chan is what I've decided to call Tenchi-sama from now on." "I see. Our congratulations," said Azaka. "We're both very happy for you," added Kamadake. Aeka nodded. "May you have an enjoyable evening," said Azaka. "Do you need us to get you any candle wax?" asked Kamadake. "No, that won't be necessary," replied Aeka. "I'll be with Sasami if you need further instructions." "With Sasami-hime?" asked Azaka. "We thought you were going to be with Tenchi-dono," said Kamadake. Aeka frowned. "That will be quite enough," she said testily. "Please excuse us, Aeka-hime," pleaded Azaka. "We didn't mean to offend you," said Kamadake. The two guardians vanished. Tenchi and Aeka got up and repeated their interrupted good-night kiss. Then Tenchi walked up the stairs, feeling Aeka's sorrowful gaze on his back as he headed towards his room. His conscience started to bear down on him, the weight of guilt increasing with each step. *How can you go upstairs and be with Ryoko now, when you know how much it's going to hurt Aeka? Just tell Ryoko that you want to sleep alone tonight. Or don't you CARE, as long as you have a good time?* *If only it were that easy. But if I told Ryoko that, she'd blame Aeka, and they'd wind up fighting again. Things are even worse, in a way, than before. It's like I'm walking a tightrope or something.* *So you wish you'd picked one, and rejected the other?* *No. Now that I've seen how they feel about me, how could I hurt them like that?* *So you wish only one of them loved you?* *No. I'd feel empty without one of them.* *What, then?* *I just wish that I could love both of them, without it hurting both of them. They aren't fighting, for now, but why do I have to feel sometimes that when I kiss Aeka, I'm slapping Ryoko in the face? That if I sleep with Ryoko, I'm torturing Aeka?* *Well you are, aren't you? You saw the look on her face!* *Why does it have to be like this?* *Because you're greedy, that's why.* *I'm not. I love Aeka, and she loves me. I love Ryoko, and she loves me. Why can't that be all there is to it?* As he neared the door, he saw that it was flanked by the two Juraian guardians. "Something strange has happened recently," commented Azaka. "It certainly has," agreed Kamadake. "What do you think it is?" asked Azaka. "Your guess is as good as mine," replied Kamadake. "Would you mind telling us what's going on?" said Azaka, when Tenchi reached the door. "We seem to be in the dark about something," said Kamadake. "Maybe later," answered Tenchi wearily. Ryoko passed halfway through the door and grabbed onto Tenchi, giving him a passionate kiss. "Come on. I've got something special planned," she whispered. "Now I'm really confused," said Azaka. "That makes two of us," agreed Kamadake. Tenchi looked into Ryoko's eyes as she stepped out of the door and stood in front of him, her expression a mixture of love and playfulness promising him that he'd spend the night warmed by her body and heart as they held each other close. It made him think of Aeka, how he'd condemned her to a cold night of loneliness, and what she must be thinking of. He hung his head, ashamed of himself. Ryoko looked at him curiously. "Is something wrong, Tenchi?" she asked in a concerned voice. Tenchi stared at the floor, thinking that something was *very* wrong, but there was no way he could say so without upsetting Ryoko as well. "Is something wrong?" she repeated. Her face became worried. "You look upset." Tenchi sighed. "Ryoko, I want to be alone for a while," he said quietly. He walked into his room, shut the door, and sat down on the bed. Ryoko stared at the door for a moment. Then she passed through it and headed after Tenchi. She floated down next to him and put an arm around him affectionately. Tenchi shook his head. "Ryoko, I told you, I want to be alone," he said impatiently. "I'm really not in the mood right now, anyway." For a moment, a wave of surprised pain washed over Ryoko's face, unseen by Tenchi's downcast eyes. "Is... that all you think I'm *for*, Tenchi?" she asked in disbelief. He frowned, not sure he'd heard her correctly. "What?" "Tenchi, I'm not here so you can sleep with me when you like, and send me away when you don't want to talk to me," she said. Tenchi turned to face her. Seeing her wounded expression, he sighed in frustration and looked down at the floor again, realizing that he'd hurt *both* girls now. "I'm sorry, Ryoko. I didn't mean it like that." "How *did* you mean it, then?" asked Ryoko. "It sure sounded that way." After a moment of indecision, Tenchi forced aside his desire to sit there and inwardly bemoan his situation. For what to do about Aeka's pain, he was at a loss, but he decided that he might be able to do something to comfort Ryoko, a little. He took hold of her hand and brought his eyes up to face her. He searched his mind for a way to express how he felt. Then he hesitated further, trying to come up with a reason for what he'd said, and not finding one that helped. He decided to make himself be honest with her. "Well, it's just that I thought that's what you had in mind." He put his arm around her. "I don't think of you *just* that way, Ryoko. But what else would we *do*, in here?" The hurt deepened in Ryoko's face. "Tenchi, I wanted to talk about whatever's upsetting you. That's all." "I realize that, now. I just wasn't thinking of it then. I've always been used to being alone whenever something's bothering me. Jiichan just gets philosophical, and dad never takes things seriously. So I'd go to my room, or somewhere out in the woods, to be by myself. Having someone sit with me when I'm upset is something I haven't really had since my mom died." He sighed. "I know that's no excuse. I'm sorry for what I said." He gently kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you. It would be nice not to have to be alone when I'm feeling bad." "Will you talk to me about what's wrong, then?" "Not about this." Ryoko hung her head. "Tenchi, I know I'm usually only good at breaking things, instead of fixing them. But can't you let me try?" "I'm sorry, Ryoko. If it was something else, I would. But not this." He put his arm around her. "Will you stay with me anyway? It would make me feel better." "You don't ever have to *ask* me to be with you, Tenchi. No matter what for," answered Ryoko. "Thank you," said Tenchi. He resumed his seemingly-futile attempt to find a way to handle the situation without hurting either of the girls. After several minutes, Ryoko sighed. "It's about Aeka, isn't it?" she asked. "Yeah," admitted Tenchi. He looked over at her, puzzled. "How did you know?" "Because I felt the same way she does, last night, and you had the same look on your face when we talked outside," answered Ryoko. "I just don't like hurting either of you," said Tenchi dejectedly. Ryoko held his hand. "Whenever it hurt last night, I thought about how I was going to be with you tonight, and that helped me stand it. Did I go through that for nothing?" Tenchi sighed. "No. It's just that..." He stopped and clenched his fists, at a loss for words. "When you're with her next time, I don't want you feeling bad like this because of me," Ryoko said. "OK?" "But I *will*!" replied Tenchi. "If worrying about me when you're with her means that you'll worry about her when you're with me, then don't," Ryoko said. "It's like we're together, but part of you's not really here. And if I can't have you all for myself, I want to at least have you some of the time." She looked him in the eyes. "Am I going to have you *none* of the time, Tenchi?" "Alright," answered Tenchi. "I just wish I could find some way for it not to hurt the two of you." Ryoko leaned over and gently kissed him. "I know." She rested her head on his shoulder. Tenchi kissed her in return. "I'm sorry, Ryoko. I didn't mean to ruin things for you." "Enough with the 'sorry' stuff," she said. "I'm here for you. Are you here for me? For tonight, at least?" He nodded and pulled her closer, and Ryoko wrapped her arms around him. For a while she merely stayed that way, silently holding on to Tenchi as tightly as she could without it becoming painful to him. As time went by, he started to become slightly worried. "Is something wrong?" he asked. "I was just... thinking, Tenchi," she answered. She lay her head against his chest. "Just thinking." "What about?" When she didn't answer, he gave her a squeeze, and smiled down at her. "Come on. I can listen, too, you know. What's wrong?" Ryoko looked up at him. "I wish it could go on like this, forever," she said, her voice soft and sad. "I don't want it to end, either. But why are you so worried? It's not going to, anytime soon." "Tenchi, right now is the best my life's ever been. But I've never managed to be happy before, for very long. And this is the longest I've ever stopped in one spot since I was little. I know it seems like nothing special to you, but it's the first place where I've *lived* instead of just *stayed*. And it's where you are." "Are you afraid I'm going to make you *leave* or something?" Tenchi asked incredulously. He hugged her close. "Ryoko, everything I said before, about not wanting you around -- forget about it. Every single word." "I *know* that, Tenchi. That's not what I'm worried about," she answered. "But the reason I never stuck around is because I *couldn't*. I had to leave, because if I didn't, I'd be caught, or killed. Someday, sooner or later, that's going to happen here." "I don't want you to have to leave, but..." Ryoko shook her head. "No, Tenchi. I'm not *going* to leave. I told you, nothing will ever separate us. But it won't be long before Nagi makes another try. Not to mention every other bounty hunter there is -- at least I know what Nagi *looks* like. And Mihoshi and Kiyone won't be assigned here forever, either. I can't *always* win. One of those times it's going to come down to me having to leave you behind if I want to live." After a brief pause, she continued in a quieter voice. "So I'll die. And I want to be with you, as much as I can, before that happens." For a moment, Tenchi just held her, struck speechless in horror. Then he gazed down into her eyes, and kissed her. "Ryoko, if that ever happens, promise me you'll run away." Ryoko shook her head. "No." "*Please*," he begged. "Even if I never saw you again, I'd want you to be alive." "If I was never going to see you again, I'd rather be dead," she replied. Tenchi sighed and thought for a while, holding Ryoko and considering what she'd said. He couldn't bring himself to believe that what she was saying was actually true, but it did explain why she seemed so frantic and aggressive sometimes. She was treating every last moment with him as if it might be her last. After a few minutes, his face brightened slightly as an idea entered his head. "Couldn't you just take me with you?" Ryoko's eyes widened. "You'd go with me?" she asked, disbelief in every word. Tenchi nodded. "I'd rather stay, but if you have to leave someday, I want us to leave together." She lifted her head from his chest and gaped at him, momentarily at a loss for words. "You'd go with me?" she asked again. "Well, yeah," he answered. Then, trying to raise her spirits a little and drive away the dreadful gloom left by the talk of death and separation, he smiled. "Don't get any funny ideas, though. I'd much rather stay around here where it's nice and quiet." Memories flooded back to her of the journey she'd taken him on, in the fantasy world she'd made for the two of them, the world he'd been so eager to leave behind. "Someday, Tenchi, I will take you on a *real* journey with me," Ryoko remembered promising him. "I will. Someday." Now he'd offered to let her do just that. A tear trickled down her cheek as she stared at him, wondering when she was going to wake up and find that the crash and everything afterwards had all been a dream. "You'd go with me?" she asked a third time, knowing it couldn't possibly be true. Tenchi reached up and brushed the tear away. "*Yes*, Ryoko." He leaned forward and kissed her. "I love you." Ryoko pressed her lips against Tenchi's and embraced him as tightly as she could, holding onto him with all her strength as if every last enemy she had in all the universe was coming to rip her away from him. Meanwhile, downstairs Aeka tucked in Sasami and made ready to go to bed herself. She lay down on her futon and pulled up the covers. "What kind of story would you like me to tell you tonight?" she asked, looking over at her sister. "It doesn't matter, Aeka. Any story will be fine. I've always told you that," replied the younger princess, smiling. "Very well, then." She fell silent for a while, thinking, then cleared her throat and started speaking. "Once upon a time, there was a princess, gifted with beauty, wisdom, and power beyond measure." "I think I know who *this* is about," giggled Sasami. Aeka smiled. "Do you wish to hear it anyway?" "Sure." "She valued the traditions of her planet and family more than her very life, and she had sworn oaths on the spirits of all her ancestors to fulfill her duty to them," continued Aeka. "So she traveled far, looking for a someone to marry to carry on her line, and though all the men she met said they loved her, she knew in her heart that none of them did. Then, one day..." About thirty minutes later, Aeka concluded her story, not having noticed yet that her sister had dozed off halfway through it. "...And when he saw her crying, he became very concerned, and he asked her what was wrong. But she was so ashamed of being tempted to break her oaths, she couldn't tell him. So she said 'It's just that your grandfather was probably right. This has turned out to be the most perfect day off for me. Just perfect.' But he could see that she was lying, and he said 'Please don't leave.' And she said, 'But I must. I have a duty to my planet, and I've sworn to uphold it.' And he said 'I've never seen or heard of this planet you speak of, and I care nothing for it, only for you. I love you, and I want you to be happy. Please stay.' And then he kissed her. And his kind grandfather married them in his shrine that very day, and the Earthling and the princess lived happily ever after. Then End." She lay back and gazed up at the ceiling, as if she could see through it and out into space. When would they come for her? she wondered. And what would she do, when they did? What *would* she do, if tomorrow a Juraian ship appeared in the sky, with orders to take her back, leaving Tenchi behind? Meekly submit to duty, as she always had until so recently? Renounce her title, as if her father would ever permit such a thing? Refuse to leave, and be dragged screaming into the ship, like a stubborn child throwing a tantrum? Say a tearful farewell to Tenchi, and then throw herself from the cliff they'd stood on, falling like the leaves the two of them had watched together last autumn? Abase herself and crawl in humiliation at Ryoko's feet, until she somehow convinced the pirate to attack with Ryo-oh-ki and destroy the vessel, killing loyal Juraians who only sought to carry out her father's commands? And even if she did go back to Jurai, what would happen then, once word spread that her heart was already given to someone, and she no longer valued her suitors by the ships or armies or territory they commanded? What would her father do? Briefly the worst possibility entered her mind: he'd have Tenchi killed, so that Aeka would be forced once more to see her potential husbands through the unclouded eyes of duty, and not allow so trivial a thing as love to be a consideration. She huddled against herself in abject terror for a few moments, shivering, wondering if so awful a thing could really happen. *Gomen nasai, Ten-chan. I should not have brought this danger upon you. I allowed desire to win out over reason, and because of my selfishness, you may die. How could I have done this to you?* Slowly, she calmed down a little, deciding that the first thing she'd do, once her father found out, would be to swear to him that she'd kill herself if he brought Tenchi or the Masakis the slightest harm. *That* would deter him, she knew. In the darkness of the room, she nodded to herself, satisfied that she'd found a way to shield Tenchi from one hazard of the treacherous course she'd dragged him down. But that still left unanswered the question of whether she'd stay, or go. Of what her decision would be, when the dreaded moment was finally upon her. Jurai, or Tenchi? Aeka knew that she'd be forced to choose, eventually. Which one? She didn't know. She loved both of them. She turned her head and looked over at her sister, who was smiling in the midst of some pleasant dream. Aeka sighed regretfully, and for a moment tears threatened to well up in her eyes. "Gomen nasai, Sasami," she whispered. Then she lay back, slightly envious of the younger princess' untroubled repose, because she expected her own to be very uneasy indeed. Closing her eyes, Aeka reached over, grasped Sasami's hand, and slowly drifted off to sleep. Preview of Next Chapter: No Need for Two Swords Katsuhito sighed and shook his head, looking very disappointed. "Since my grandson seems rather thick-headed, I suppose I'll have to make it clearer for him. A woman is to a man as a sword is to a samurai. And the sword is the soul of the samurai. If he forgets it, or loses it, *he will never be forgiven*." "OK, OK." "If you show no concern for your swords, they will be stolen from you. If you handle them clumsily, you will break them. And if, because of your foolish youthful pride, you are careless and unwary and do not treat your swords with the respect they deserve, you'll soon learn how sharp they are, first-hand." --Message-Boundary-7339--