Disclaimer: The characters depicted in this work of fiction are not mine and I do not lay any claim, either real or imagined to the likeness, reproduction, or otherwise. This work is intended for fun only, and is not produced for profit. Please feel free to distribute freely. Writer's Foreword: I'll warn you now, this is a crossover lemon. I've put the cast of UY, the cast of Ranma, the cast of DP, the cast of AMS, the cast of AKO, the cast of.... etc. etc. etc. I tried to break as many boundaries as possible with this, including having Ataru admit to his true feelings (Whatever they may be) Well, you don't expect me to tell you now, do you? You Ranma 1/2 fans may not like what I've done with Ukyou, but feel assured that there is a reason (as always) that I've portrayed her in such a light. You might not like what I've done to Ranma either, but hey, it's my universe. Kei makes a few explicit appearances, and even Yuri has some fun. All in all it makes for some very interesting story lines, so please, read it, and then tell me what you think. Comments/Crits to: inaba@earthling.net Part V Teacher's Pet: Ukyou's Evil Plan #23! Ukyou stood outside the door to the classroom labeled year 2 class 4 rehearsing what she was going to say. She ran it through her head twice, building up her confidence. Then, with a deep breath she slid aside the portion, her eyes wide at the havoc going on in the classroom. She stared dumbly as the all the boys with the exception of three writhed around the new Shinobu, all asking for her number and drooling, while all the girls but two flocked around a young man with slicked back hair dressed in an immaculate, white school uniform, while a tall man with glasses was being all but raped by some red-head with short hair. Ataru sat alone, his feet up on the desk, chewing absently on a toothpick. Ukyou spotted him and waved, running up to him, she threw her arms around him, "Hi Ataru-kun!" then noticing Lum's absence, "Where's Lum-san today?" "Ah," he said lazily, shrugging his disinterest in the conversation, "Lum went to her UFO for a while, said she had to rest." his eyes closed as he worked his jaw around the tooth- pick. "Oh," her eyes narrowing, she gave him an evil smile, "I can see why, brute!" seeing her golden opportunity before her, "Oh well, then I guess she won't be able to help move my furniture today. Hey," looking directly at Ataru, her body suggesting slightly, her eyes shimmering ultra-cute, "would you help me?" Ataru, looking around the room, obviously bored with the confines of class, "Sure, just let me get my stuff." opening up his desk and pulling out his **bento.** "*Oi*, Kei-chan!" motioning over to the red-head. [*Hey] [**square lunch box, customarily wrapped in a cloth] Kei, looking up from a dazed Megane, "*Un*?" [*yes] "If Lum comes back tell her I might be late for lunch today, *ne*?" getting up from his desk. [*okay] Kei smiled, "*Un*!" then going back to work on Megane, stupid grin still attached, glasses still skewed. [*yes] Ataru stood, staring at Megane, thinking, 'He's been like that for days now, I wonder when he'll pull out of it?' then glanced at Ukyou, who was now surrounded with male students all asking for her number. "I'm ready." "*Un*!" Ukyou responded, pulling out a large spatula, "I'll be there in a minute!" beginning her swing, knocking half of them across the room with spatula marks on their faces, then following up with the other half. "Okay," bouncing up to Ataru, grabbing his arm, "let's go!" [*take a wild guess] They left, stepping over a bedraggled Chibi, mumbling through a few broken teeth, "Phone number?" ******************************************************************* Lum flew threw the open window, Ten trailing behind with a large bento in her hands. She hovered over Ataru's desk and placed the lunch there, scanning the room. The room looked the same as ever, except for the fact that Chibi was missing a few more teeth, but other than that the only thing that was strange was that there was no Ataru. Lum frowned and spotted Kei bending over Megane doing something with her hands under the desk as Megane sat unmoving and drooled with a stupid grin on his face. "Kei-chan!" waving to her as she floated across the room. Kei, looking up from what she was doing tried futily to raise a hand out from under the desk producing a heart wrenching scream from Megane, "Ooops." then going back to what she was doing, an innocent smile on her face, Megane beginning to drool again, "What is it, Lum-san?" Lum, smiling to herself and trying desperately not to laugh as she approached them, "Do you know where Dahling is? I can't seem to find him." her mood shifting slightly. "Oh!" producing another scream from Megane as she bumped the bottom of the desk again, obviously trying to regain the use of her hands, "*Gomen.*" to Megane, beginning to regain his smile as she freed one hand and started shuffling through the papers atop the desk. "Here it is! I wrote it down, because I thought I might forget. Let me see... He says that he might be late for lunch today because this sexy broad came in and flirted with him a little bit and then they left saying something about moving furniture." then smiling up at a now VERY pissed Lum, energy crackling from her clenched fists. "Did I say something wrong?" [*sorry] Trying hard not to get to angry to think, or talk Lum mumbled through clenched teeth, "What did she look like?" "Oh," Kei began, closing her eyes, thinking hard, "Mmmm mmmmmmm, got it!" popping her eyes open, "Bright eyes, good body, long dark hair with a bow in the back, and a huge spatula strapped to her back." Lum crackled with rage as the list ran down, knowing exactly who it was, her body glowing, she screamed, "*YURUSENE*!! Dahling **no** ***BAAAKAA***!!!" letting out her rage with the words, frying every stitch of clothing off of her, leaving her clad in bright red cheeks, "Hehehe..." then bolting for the window before the mob of male students engulfed her. [*unforgivable] [**marks possession ie. Dahling's or Dahling is] [***idiot] ******************************************************************* Ataru grunted under the weight of the couch, hefting it up onto his shoulder as Ukyou directed him to the appropriate spot, sweating through his shirt as he set it down. He pulled the shirt out, making a waving motion with the wide neck, trying to cool himself as she directed him to another piece of furniture that was obviously in the wrong place. He hefted it, using his back to support the huge chair, beads of sweat rolling down his brow as he moved it to the appropriate place, setting it down heavily, his breath beginning to rasp. Ukyou, noticing Ataru's state, took her chance, "Oh, your so sweaty, why don't you take that thing off?" motioning to his shirt, as he began to obey, his arms lax as he grabbed at the bottom of his shirt, "Here, let me help you." moving in to him, pushing the shirt up over his head and running her fingers over his chest, accidentally of course. Her eyes sparkling as she pushed him into a chair, "Why don't you sit down while I get us something to drink." turning her back and leaving the room her body already starting to buzz with emotion as she ran across the hall to a small college fridge, grabbing two beers and popping them open. She smiled wickedly at the beers in her hand and ran back into the room, pausing only to slap a tape in the machine and ran to him, tripping over her feet and landing in Ataru's lap, looking up into his eyes, "Oh!" noticing the beer ridden spot on his pants, taking off her shirt and rubbing it against him. "*Gomen*." looking up at him weakly, "Let me just go put these in the dryer." her hand moving to his belt, slowly pulling it out of the way, then unbuttoning his pants, rubbing her ample breasts against his thighs. [*sorry] The music boomed in Ataru's ears as her sat, stunned by her motions, sat and stared as she slowly worked her fingers down, unbuttoning his pants, then pushing them down with her hands, taking his underwear with them, gently passing her fingertips over his sex, teasing him. She pulled his clothes off slowly, never taking her eyes off his, then pushed her breasts against him, closing her eyes and moaning slightly as she moved up to him, taking him in her hands. Her cold skin sending shivers of exquisite pleasure through his body. She opened her eyes looking down at his sex, smiling slightly as it lay there before her, she took in her hand as the guitar riff from 'Cradle Of Love' started to scream in the background, slowly working it with her fingers as she gently kissed his midsection. She looked to eyes, then stared back down at his member, now beginning to grow, moving her head down, and lower, touching her lips to him, making the agonizing ecstasy within' him swell. She ran her tongue round the border of his libido, gazing up at him wickedly as she worked him slowly into a frenzy. Her sex wet with anticipation, her body buzzing in emotion, she took his swollen member in slightly, working her tongue around the border of his head, then deeper as her head began to bob, sending shoots of agonizing pleasure through him. The music slowing to a low hum in their ears, as he grabbed the back of her head, entangling his fingers in her hair as she worked him, moving her head in a gyrating motion slightly as she bobbed up and down, taking more and more of him as she sighed in expectation, the crotch of her jeans soaked through. Ataru clenched his teeth as Ukyou's motions, moving with the slow motion of the music, the gentle lyrics echoing through his mind as he sat, stunned by the waves of emotion that engulfed him, the song carrying him away...'Nothing left to hold... Nothing left, but blood and fire... You have spent nights thinking of me... Missing my arms, but you needed to leave... Leaving my heart, leaving my burns... Hoping I'd learn...' his body cringed inadvertently, forcing a scream from his lungs, "*Lumuu*!" pushing Ukyou off him, grabbing his pants and heading for the door. [*extra vowel on the end adds emotion to written text or spoken word] Ataru closed the door behind him, his thoughts filled with images, tormenting his tense body. "*Lumuu*..." [*I'm not going to explain this, again.] ******************************************************************* Lum turned the corner to see Ataru close the door to Uk-chan's, shoving his fist in his pocket. Lum cringed back behind the corner, her mind going over the possibilities of what had happened, then turning back to look, she could see Ukyou standing in the upstairs window, her body covered with a light pink robe. 'Dahling!' she fumed to herself, 'Dahling...' the strength of her thoughts fading, 'Dahling no *baka*...' her eyes clouded with tears as she slumped down on the concrete, crying. [*idiot] ******************************************************************* Ataru arrived back at the classroom to find Onsen-mark drumming a couple of students in the appropriateness of students getting hand jobs in class, the red-head he was chiding responding, "But if I stop he runs away!" "Nonetheless," Onsen-mark continued, "this is not the proper place to do such things, you'll sit detention on Saturday." Kei, an idea popping into her head, maneuvered one of Megane's hands up to flip off Onsen-mark. "Same for you, Megane, DETENTION!" at which, Kei smiled brightly and went back to work under Megane's desk. Ataru shook his head and walked to his desk, nodding to whoever as he sat, pulling out a huge lunchbox from his desk as he began to ignore the lesson going on around him as a decked out Lum flew in through the window, landing in the desk beside him. Lum pulled her black and yellow tiger-striped mini down firmly, countering the effects of sitting down. She glared at Ataru, remembering her anger, and what she must now do. Then, in a whisper, "Did you have a good time at lunch?" her words biting into him. Ataru sat unmoved, still digging into his lunch, "Umm." Lum's eyes narrowed, her mind tabling his response as she planned her next move, sure in the fact that she had given him his chance to explain, "Hmmph!" looking around the room for a target, her eyes coming to rest on Mendo, 'Perfect!' she thought, 'Dahling's distrust of Mendo will make it doubly interesting!' then tabling the subject in her mind and waited for the bell, which was soon to come. When the clock hit, she was ready and out of her desk to Mendo's side, batting her eyelashes at him, pushing her chest almost out of it's black, tight half top restraint. "*Ne*, Mendo-san, what say we go get something to eat?" putting a hand on his chest, the corner of her eye on Ataru who was beginning to shove books into his bag with a little more force than usual. [*say] "Wh.." Mendo began, a little stunned by her sudden attention as the rest of the girls in the classroom looked on in dismay. "Why of course, Lum-san, I would be glad to." fumbling for his bag, "Just let me get my materials together." "Here," putting a hand on his, "let me help you." Ataru sat, fuming, watching their every move as he steamed, cursing under his breath. Shinobu, a little stunned, walked over to Ataru, eyeing Mendo and Lum quizzically, "Are you sure it's all right to leave them like that?" motioning to the pair, her eyes a little concerned. "No," Ataru rasped, "it's not all right." his feet pounding heavily as he walked to the pair, trying hard to conceal his anger, "Lum, it's time to go home." Lum gazed at him coldly, pulling Mendo to her by the arm, "I'm going with Mendo thank you," an malicious grin spreading across her face, "but if you like, you can carry my books." turning her back to him, continuing her conversation with Mendo. "That's just fine with me!" Ataru began, grabbing a dazed Shinobu who had joined the group, "Because Shinobu and I have a date tonight!" "Huh?" a dazed Shinobu put in. "Is that right?!" Lum raved, stunned by the addition, "Well, well, Mendo and I are going to a bath house together!" pulling Mendo closer. "Lum-san!!" a bemused Mendo injected. "Ohoho!" Ataru, rolling his eyes, discarding Shinobu, "Well, why don't you just F*** HIM!!" screaming into Lum's face. "I WILL!!" she responded in turn, then dragged a confused Mendo out the door behind her. "LUMU NO *AHO*!!" [*something very, very bad] ******************************************************************* Lum drug Mendo into the bedroom of his flat behind her and threw him onto the bed, taking off her light leather jacket stopping only long enough to hit play on the CD changer. 'Dahling no *baka*!' she thought, lost in her rage, 'He'll see!' [*for the slower students in the room, again... idiot] "Lum-san." a bemused Mendo interjected as he watched her remove her jacket, his eyes growing into an amused smile, "Why, Lum-san, I never knew.." as the light piano began the song. "*Urusai*!" she raved, planting her lips on his firmly, making his eyes bulge out as she tore off his shirt, pulling him to her furiously, moving her hands through his hair. [*shut up] Mendo, still slightly confused, moved his hands up slowly, moving across her back, then with more confidence, moving up across the round of her breasts to caress her cheeks as she pushed him back against the bed, beginning to stroke him through his white slacks, her body cold to the sensations she forced through her mouth to him. She pushed him back, breaking from the kiss, straddling him, her eyes malicious as she pulled off the half top, exposing her breasts to him, licking the round of her ruby lips, then planting them firmly as she thought, 'Dahling no baka!' his hands running over her breast, then down to her thighs, pushing at the thin fabric, moving it upwards, 'Dahling no... Dahling no...' her eyes beginning to stream tears as the words of the music pounded through her head, 'No way to slow down... He sees his children jumping off... At stations one by one... His woman and his best friend... In bed and having fun... Oh, he's crawling down the corridor... On his hands and knees... God had stole the handle.. Of the Train that won't stop going, no way to slow down...' as Mendo's hand rounded her breast, his lips still kissing at her neck. 'Dahling'. Lum pushed herself off Mendo, streaming tears, "I... I can't." grabbing her shirt and shrugging on her jacket as she heading for the door. Then, over her shoulder, "I'm sorry." ******************************************************************* Lum opened the door to the Moroboshi residence, still pushing tears out of her eyes as she closed the door behind her, her mind still running over her failure, but as much as she hated to admit it, she loved him, and no matter what he did, she would still be there, she had gotten used to that. 'Today was just a test.' she thought, trying to calm herself as she walked up the stairs to their room, 'It was just a test of my strength.' she tried to smile at the thought, 'Then why do I feel so weak.' her features falling as she entered their room, her mind in turmoil. Gentle music drifted to her ears, pulling her thoughts away, her eyes tracing an extension cord out the window and up to the roof. She listened for a moment, her ears catching snippets of sobs as the lyrics drifted to her. She pushed the tears out of her eyes and popped out the window, looking over the edge of the roof as the piano started the song, it's gentle introduction building into strings, then the drums sang out, her heart skipping a beat as she saw Ataru, his arms wrapped around his knees, his head buried in hiss knees as he sobbed slowly, oblivious to her. She blinked, watching on as the sobs racked his body, listening to the lyrics 'We've been through this such a long, long time, just trying to kill the pain... Lovin' always comin', lovin' always goin', noone's really sure to let it go today, walkin' away... If we can take the time to lay it on the line I can rest my head just knowing you are mine, all mine... Oh, if you wanna' love me, then dahlin' don't refrain... Or I'll just end up walkin' in the cold November rain...' her heart aching as she watched him, forcing out at a whisper, "Dahling..." Ataru looked up, stunned by her presence, then wiped the tears away from his face, his head hanging low, "Lum..." then looking into her eyes, his heart ache clear, "Lum, I... I think we should take some time." dropping his eyes back to the tiles beneath his feet. "Dahling I..." moving up to him, her hand outreached, then stopping a meter away, "Dahling, I love you!" her eyes pleading with him. "I... I'm sorry." He looked away, his eyes still shedding tears, his throat harsh, "Then why..." stuttering slightly, clenching his knees to his chest, "why did you do it?!" aiming his words directly at her, his mind raging with his heart, splitting him in two. Lum started to sniff, Ataru's tears infecting her, "Because.. because I love you!" she screamed at him, tears streaming down her cheeks, she dropped to the tiles beneath her, "When I saw you leaving Ukyou's I was so mad!" wiping at the tears futily, getting Ataru's attention with her words, "Then when you had your arm around Shinobu, I saw red and decided to get back at you by sleeping with Mendo." pleading with him, "I didn't want to do it!" as he edged towards her, taking her in his arms, "I couldn't even go through with it!" she hugged him tightly, "Dahling no *baka*!" she cried weakly, the tears flowing down her cheeks into his chest. [*do I have to? Fine! 'idiot' fitting ne?] "I love you too." Ataru said simply, his eyes full of concern as she looked up to him, moving into his embrace to kiss him lightly, then snuggling into his arms. "I knew you couldn't do it." "Dahling." "Hmm?" "Shut up." "*Hai*." [*yes] -------------------------------------------------------------------- Writer's Notes: Okay, okay, another piece for all you romantics. Hey, I actually tried to put something there for you sex crazed lunatics, not much, but something. Sorry about the musical interludes, I'm just kind of in a mood. In case anybody's wondering the songs featured were: Calling You From A Thousand Miles Away - Indigo Girls [title?] Locomotive Breath - Jethro Tull November Rain - Guns n' Roses [like you didn't know] Hope this has been fun for you, I tried to add in a few laughs to keep it light enough to be UY. And before you scream bloody murder about me turning Kei into a Elmira/A-ko/basic all around twit clone, I had to create a character to torture Megane didn't I? She just seemed to fit the part. "...in which case, uuunnnnggg! I'm giving myself a headache!" -- Kei -- Affair On Nolandia -----------------------------------------------------------------